So I broke up with him, because I couldn’t take any more of him ignoring me. Not in the sense of him not answering my calls or anything, but more like no romance. I understand that chivalry is somewhat dead, but even still, I felt nothing from him. I didn’t feel that he wanted me, that he cared about me, that i deserved anything. I try and talk to him about what im feeling, but he brushes me off as "moody" or "making a big deal out of nothing". he understands that we have had a major communication problem for the majority of our relationship, to the point where we would sit for hours with nothing to say. He knows everything about me, my past, my secrets, everything, yet I hardly know anything about him. I’m still struggling to figure out who I am, but he knows me well enough to actually want to care about me. in contrast, i am afraid of going to him when there is a problem, because even though he has told me that he wont do anything to me, im still afraid. i don’t know him.
he wants me to be happy, to the point that i have to tell him everything. i don’t know what i want for breakfast, how am i supposed to know what makes me happy. but still, if i want something, he would get/do it. and that annoys me, because to me, it seems like he doesn’t want to make my life easier by just getting/doing it, but waits until i tell him. everyone knows that all girls presents, yet i have to tell him to get something for me for my birthday, for valentines day. he says he can change and give him a second chance. but know one changes that fast. and why do people have to change to make a relationship work, why is it that people cant fall in love with someone just as they are, with their flaws, and faults, and imperfections. im hurt that he doesn’t understand any of this. but it doesn’t stop it from hurting.
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My step children are hideously selfish and don’t listen to a thing I tell them. They won’t even bathe! They’re 14(boy) and 11(girl). My husband has a passive parenting style. He hates to hear any fussing or fighting and likes to avoid confrontations. He knows that they treat me bad, but he says he doesn’t understand why he lets them do it. He says he just doesn’t know how to make them do the right thing. He’s tried punishment, rewards, and a combination of both. Nothing seems to work. I know that he loves me very much and it bothers him that he can’t figure out how to make the children behave and do as they’re told. He also loves his children, but they are tearing our marriage apart. Anyone have any ideas or have you ever been in this same situation??
A little more info:
We have a two year old daughter together. Mu husband just deployed to Iraq and will be gone 15 months. The mother rarely calls, lives out of state and is schizophrenic . She sees them maybe once every other year. My husband is a good man and a good father to my baby. He carries a lot of guilt about his divorce and the impact it had on his kids. I didn’t mean to make it sound like he was spinelss. I think his passiveness stems more from guilt than anything else.
We’ve been married for about 3 1/2 years.
I tried for the first two years to have some sort of relationship with the two of them. I’ve done things with them/for them, I’m the one who takes them shopping, I’m the one who buys them new clothes, I’m the one who makes their father take them to the library, the park, etc. After two years of doing for them and getting nothing (respect) in return, I stopped doing so much for them. They are just REALLY selfish children who were used to being the bosses and getting what they wanted. I’ve even suggested family counselling, but now that my husband is deployed, it’s too late for that.
Just a little nore in defense of myself: My husband is in the military and he’s not home much. The children are left in my care. I have provided them with structure and activities. It’s easy for a few to point the finger at me and say I’m the one being selfish, but if you any idea how many "talks" the kidsa and I have had about our relationship, you’d understand why, at this point, I’m pulling my hair out. I agree with some of the negative comments. You’re right, I shouldn’t let their behavior bother me, but I don’t know of any way to just "turn off" my emotions when they treat me so badly. Even their father ADMITS that they treat me badly. Again, I have suggested (on several occasions) that we seek family councelling. I work, their father is gone, and I’m taking care of all three children. Is it so much to ask, for them to just follow a few rules? I’ve compromised a lot. I stopped nagging them to bathe, brush teeth, do homework or clean up after themselves!
By the way, Skidoo, my screen name was a joke between my sister and myself. One I’ve had for years. No hidden meaning whatsoever. 
And for any of you who took offense to the term "demonic step children", come on! It was a phrase to show just how frustrated I am with them! I’ve done more for those two chilldren since I’ve known them than either their real mother or their father. I’ve taught them why they shouldn’t lie or steal, how to have compassion for others, how to take care of themselves, and a lot of other real life skills they need to become productive adults. The issues they have were going on a looooong time before I was ever in the picture. I tried to give them what they needed but they rejected me, so don’t point fingers at me for getting tired of trying to help them when they don’t want or appreciate my help. Sometimes, I think the only ones who really understand are the ones who have walked in my shoes. And some called ME judgemental?
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So my boyfriend just broke up with me with the exscuse of "i dont wanna be in a relationship right now, its not you." I still like him fully, and i dont want it to be over. I dnt know if flirting with other guys and pretending that i dnt need him will win him back or if telling him i miss him and want him back is the way to go. I really just wanna do the right thing here. help.
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We know longer sleep together because he likes to stay up until 4am with the lights on ( It’s been 2 months). I’m now sleeping in my daughter’s room with her. My husband isn’t her dad. To make a long story short my daughter’s grandfather (her dad’s dad) they just met for the first time. My daughter doesn’t see her dad because he’s a embarrassment to her and smokes and even assaulted me in front of her. My daughter hasn’t seen her father in many months before them meeting last weekend. I didn’t want to lie to my husband so I told him she’s meeting her grandad for the first time. He was upset, but got over it only if I were to call child support ( to get him to pay or go to jail) and visitation (He wants my daughter to have supervised visitation after her dad assaulted me 3 years ago) . After thinking I told him I can’t …… long story. He now wants a divorce and has been ignoring me, and pushing me off him for the past 4 days. How can I save my marriage I just wanted to do the right thing?
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