Would you ever take your first love back after they left you twice for another person?

Hi all,

Your friend here needs a little help and advice. Here is the situation ok, I have been dating my ex-girlfriend for the past 6 years. She is about to turn 21 years old in 2 months. Our relationship has always been solid. We get along so well and always make each other laugh constantly. Been though so many ups and downs regarding her family not wanting her to date and such but we fought through it. She moved in for the last 2 years for college. Our relationship has always been great when we were together. The only thing is that she wanted to party more and be more social and going to clubs and all. To me, I told her, all that really doesn’t matter because I have the love of my life next to me and that is all I needed to make me happy. I’m not a drinker or smoker. She wanted me to start drinking when we go hang out with friends or when they come over sometime, but I choose not to.

Last year at around this time when we were still living together, I found out that she cheated on me with a guy and she later found out that he has a kid already. I sort of force things to get her to come back and she did. It lasted two months with this guy and I got her to moved back in with me.

Everything was great, we started going out. Just last year alone, we went to Disneyland, SeaWorld, San Diego beach, Water rafting, Snowboarding, santa cruz beach boardwalk, etc.. She’s always happy when we’re together.

Then all of a sudden, on Tuesday night at around 11:30pm three weeks ago, I finished taking a shower and came to bed, she said while laying her head the other way, "have you notice that something has been bugging me for the past 3 months." I said, "no, what is it." long story short, she said she’s attracted to this guy that came to the salon to get a hair cut. While she was cutting his hair, he told her that he’s a Stanford MBA graduate, vice president of Well’s Fargo, said that he got 0,000 bonus from his job last year, he said he have traveled to Thailand, Bora Bora, etc. He said if your my girlfriend I would take you to all these places. He told her that she doesn’t have to work if she is his wife and he also drives the latest BMW edition. So she is fascinated about all these stuff. Then I help her moved all her stuff back to her mom place, She’s dating this guy right now as we speak. He’s 29 years old 6’2.

So I’m very depressed and starting hanging out with my friends more often, everybody was very shock that we broke up. I showed them a picture of who she’s dating and they said, "I know this guy, my wife knows this guy, they went to high school together, she know where he was rasied, he dated so many girls." One of my friend said at first they feel sorry for me, but after seeing this guy, they said they feel sorry for my ex-girlfriend, they said you shouldn’t compare yourself to this guy, your a much better person, he’s a con-artist, he dated about 10 girls already, he take girls from their boyfriend and dump them and the girl run back to their ex always.

So my question is, should I take my ex back if she ever ask me back. Right now I still love her and will always. She ask me, "you don’t hate me after I have done this to you." I told her that my love for her is unconditional and that I don’t see myself ever again loving another girl as much as I love her. I do love her very much. She also told me, that her boyfriend right now is very boring and that he doesn’t make her laugh like I do. She said she attracted to him for his looks and wealth. She told me that he’s going to buy her a ,000 car, asked her to engage, and said she’s going to get her passport because this guy is taking her to tahiti.

Have you guys been through the same situation and end up successful. I really do want to work things out with her and I don’t want my heartbroken again because it really hurt. What can I do to make it last? Anything will help, and thank you very much for taking the time to read my story.


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Does he want to save our marriage?

I have been with my husband now for almost 4 years. We just recently got married and it has been a little over 2 months. When I met him I did have a child from a previous relationship. After dating for 3 years we had a child of our own which is his first.He has always been a vivid drinker having to have at least 6 beers a night. Some nights it is more and then some nights it is less, if any at all (although those nights are rare). My husband was raised by his grandparents because his mom chose a man over her children and sent my husband and his older brother to live with her parents. He has alot of resentment and abandonment issues that stem from this. Also he has never met his biological father because his mother up until a couple months ago would even tell him who he was. She came out about 5 months ago and gave him a name and that was it. She said she didn’t know what town he lived in but she did have a stated, and she wanted him to know that his father did know about him before he was born. He has went thru very hard times growing up watching his granmother pass away, getting into the wrong crowd, doing hard drugs, drinking and partying. He has been in two wrecks that should have took his life becausehe was drunk. He totalled out both vehicles in those wrecks. One he was going about 90 mph and lost control and went off the road. The other he was going too fast lost control and ran off the road and broke his neck. i cant imagine how he survived either one, but i am very greatful he did. I met him about 6 months after he got his halo off (which was what they had to screw on his head when he broke his neck). I loved everything about him. He made me feel so important and so special, he accepted me having a child and loved my son to death, yet he did drink. As the years go by and i see how bad his drinking really is ive become to HATE alcohol. I have never been a big drinker nor have i done drugs so i dont see what it is about it that people just HAVE TO HAVE.. He could tell me time and time again i dont have money for this or i dont have money for that but there is ALWAYS beer in the refrigerator. When he drinks all his childhood emotions come out and it really intensafies his emotion that soon lead to anger. He overtalks me and will not listen to what i have to say becuase hes been through so much more than me in his life and i just dont understand and will never really understand him. Ive threatend to leave in the past but never done it. Im to the point now where i dont know what to do. I am 25 years old and i get advice from my mother becuase i look up to her and respect what she says, but i dont know if she is just telling me he will never change becuase she doesnt care for him? or what.. I was a only child so i know by all means i was not perfect in the releationship either. I see myself as a good mother, a loyal wife, churchgoer, i have a job that i have had for the past 4 years*doesnt pay that well*but it is a job. Some women think the man can jsut work and support them but i acually go to work everyday so that we can have extra money for the extra things we want or need. I just feel like i am stuck here trying to change him and he isnt going to change and im wasting my time… Yes i see what is happening maybe i dont want to believe it but i do. I love him so much and want nothing more than our family to work and us raise our kids but with him not respecting my wishes on him to stop drinking then that shows me he doesnt care. Everything is my fault…i dont understnad him, i cant relate to him, i will never be able to provide for our family like he can. These are just some of the things i get on a daily basis.He gives me excuses as to why he is drinking.. well some friends came over we are watching this ppv fight, you let me drink 2 beers the other night whats wrong with it now…. this is what he says to me.. Well now i see that me condoning him drinking those two beers was really not the right thing to do becuase it gets put in my face now, so im to the point NO BEER AT ALL and have your family together…. or keep drinking but im going to find someone that iwll love and respect me the way i know i deserve to be respected. Sorry for rambling on guys i just really need some elder advice. This isnt everything in our life but it touches on alot of things. It is humiliating to have only been married 2 months and it is coming to this. I have tried praying at church, spending quality time with him and the kids, tell him he is doing a good job on not drinking as much, ive read 2 books on the inner life of a man and how they feel and what i can do differently, ive called a counsoler, ive signed up for daily emails on how to save our marriage, ive tried to talk to him and i have told him what he can do to change, i have asked him to do the same for me yet he refuses. When he tells me hes done all he can do the only thing that comes to mind is he has started attending a recovery group*yet he is still drink
Sorry it didnt take my whole message here is where it left off….*yet he is still drinking*, he tells me he provides a home for our family, he tells me he plays with his kids, but you dont hear naything about ME in there… nothing about ive done this and done that to make our relationship better. Hes told me several time that paying child support would be ten times better than being with me. A week after we got married he told me he has felt the erge to leave but he hasnt because of the kids becuase he didnt want to be away from them… Is there anything more I can do to help save our marriage or should i just let it go here and stop holding onto something that is not there…? All advice is welcome good or bad… Please Help!!!


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