How can I get over broken engagement?

I just broke off my engagement with my fiancee, i think she has a bipolar disorder and drug addiction. She has been arrested for passing fake prescritions in the past and then my brother accused her of stealing prescripts from their house. no one saw her do it but there was no one else there and i never told them about her past so i do think it is a very possible action on her part.

it hurts me to break up like this, she denies it all but this is part of the drug addict..they are liars and thieves. my whole family hates her and i think her parents probably hate me now too..too much hate going around, this should be a happy time..i didnt do anything wrong but i know to marry someone with these problems will lead to big issues down the road. i was a fool to ask her to get married but now i feel like i have hurt her and her whole family by doing what it right..advising her to get help and breaking it off.

What can i do to get over this?

Thanks


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do I need to break up with him? How do I fix this?

Okay, so I have been in a relationship for about a year and a half. Everything was great until around December, when I started getting these obsessive thoughts about falling out of love with him… It completely destroyed me. I felt like I was going crazy and losing everything good. The Thanksgiving before I went to visit my family in Oklahoma, and I hadnt seen my mom in about 10 years (she was/is a drug addict, etc) and she showed up, unannounced, with a kid that I didnt know about. I was in shock and I never really got upset about it. I actually thought that It was kind of funny. In fact, I never cried about my mom even when I was younger. I was alway numb to it. When I got home I had mono. During mono I got very depressed and I didnt even realize it.

The first day I was better I was with my boyfriend and I were talking and all of the sudden this rush of unfamiliarity and doubt rushed over me… I dont know why. Ever since then I have been obsessed with "what ifs" what if I dont love him anymore, what if we arent right for each other anymore, what if I dont even like him, what if I never loved him? And so on… I just obsess about it and then eventually convince myself that I dont care about him… and then it just goes away for a while. I see everything clearly and nothing feels forced, he doesnt annoy me much, and I just feel natural and like myself. I dont know what is going on. I just feel numb! I feel like I am sabotaging myself!!!

Oh, by the way, I am 18, and this is my first real relationship. I am on zoloft.

PLEASE HELP ME


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would you read this book?

Here’s the basic plot for the novel I’m writing (It’s about a dysfunctional family):
A middle-class model and a recovering delinquent drug addict with a dysfunctional relationship end up getting married against the woman’s better judgment (it’s cliché, I know…any suggestions?). He beats her sometimes, and he’s such a bad influence on her that she loses her job, so now she can’t leave him, she depends too much on him. They end up having 7 kids. The 3rd has a fatal heart condition that will end her life at a young age (around 15, and it’s because of the drugs the dad took), but they don’t find that out till later, which is why they had more kids. The main part of the novel takes place when the kids are 19, 17, 15 14, 12 and 8. The mom saw sense (although it was too late) and kicked out the dad when he started beating the children too and almost killed the 2nd youngest (the only other girl), and now she is recovering, she has a job as a waitress in a casino.
The kids are coping too, the oldest is finally able to get on with his life now that the mom looks after her kids again, the 17 year old has anger management problems but is getting counseling, the 14 year old twins (who had only each other to rely on for so long) have trouble relating to the rest of the family and are called gay at school but (they insist) it doesn’t bother them (They’re not), the 12 year old girl is called a freak at school for her dysfunctional family but she is defiantly “proud” of being an outcast, and the 8 year old, probably the only normal one among them, has no clue anything is wrong (or ever was). The 15 year old girl is reaching the end of her life. She’s trying to figure out who she really is, and wondering how to break the news to her boyfriend and her best friend.
Then trouble brews. The mom finds a new guy at the casino. At first he seems to be helping her heal, but then it is revealed that he needs cash, and he has been selling the 17 year old drugs to cope with his problem. The 17 year old sometimes can’t control himself and he beats his girlfriend. He’s afraid he’ll turn out just like his father. The 15 year old dumped her boyfriend and started dating his best friend to get him to move on from her, but then the best friend starts falling for her and it turns out he has a lot of valuable philosophies about life and coping with things. He’s a “live in the moment” type guy, and he really helps her find herself. The 12 year old has been being harassed in many ways at school and stalked online by this guy, and she ends up killing herself (or trying to…that’s what I need help with…I was thinking an overdose of her brother’s pills could work, although it might be kind of overkill…) The 19 year old is sucked back into everything just when he was almost able to live his own life, and the twins just try to close their eyes to everything again. How should everything work out in the end? I don’t necessarily think it has to be a depressing read…at least it doesn’t have to end depressing. What do you think? Would you read this? And what should my characters be named?
Also…is it just like alot of other books? What are some ways I could make it more…unique? And how can I make the characters of the youngest brother and the twins more interesting? All of the other characters except them have a big problem they’re dealing with…ideas?! :)
thanks! 10 points to the best answer!


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Here we go, I have edged around this ? but its time to get the whole sordid affair into the open, please help?

Here we go… the basics about me: I’m 22, My parents were divorced when I was 10 (my moms fault, my dad wasn’t enough for her, she wanted more excitement in her life) and my mom married a white trash, violent abusive drug addict. I lived with them for 4 years where I watched him physically abuse my mom, verbally and emotionally abuse her and listened to him rape her. (IE, listen to her screaming no and crying and him telling her that she had no choice.) I was afraid to leave her and my new little brothers (they sometimes disappeared for a couple days at a time and I was worried about my family.) I’ve been diagnosed bipolar (unmedicated now because the meds just made it worse), anxiety issues, have had suicidal issues and extremely low self esteem.

Let me say up front that I KNOW that none of that excuses what I have done and the pain that I’m about to cause others. I just wanted to give some background… I’m not looking to excuse myself, I just want the full picture here. So, please if you feel the need get it out of the way to tell me what you think of me, I’m completely positive you couldn’t think worse of me than I think of myself.

I liked a guy at work and when I found out he was married I was disappointed, as I thought he was attractive and funny. He is older, he is 41. I started hanging out with him and a few of his friends (we work night shift and we would go out of a few beers in the morning) and eventually it led to him and I getting together. That was 8 months ago and since then we have spent some of nearly every day together and I love him. And he loves me. I never meant to end up in a situation like this, and I admit I didn’t truly understand the extent of what I was doing.

He says he never thought he would feel like this again, and that even if he wanted to he doesn’t think it would be possible for him to stop seeing me. He has 2 grown kids, 20 and 18. I have no idea how he spends so much time with me and to be honest I never wanted to know.

He is starting to talk now about how somebody is going to get hurt no matter what, that either I will get hurt or (he trails off here, he has never once mentioned his wife) and that no matter what he is going to end up hurt. I started to realize, however, the true extent of what would happen. If he leaves her… He already has kids and doesn’t want more, someday I will. Even if he truly left her I’m not ready to commit forever and I’d feel like I had to because he gave up everything for me.

This is going to sound stupid but he is very controlling and possessive, which I don’t mind when we are together but I don’t want to spend my entire life being told what I can and can’t do, and I want to travel and do what I feel like doing. … I’m not ready to settle down. This should make it seem like the easiest situation possible to work out but I love him. I feel sick at the thought of never seeing him again, when he holds me I feel like I’ve never felt before.

I know people will say he is a daddy figure – but I’m not actually lacking that because I have a very good relationship with my father (who I moved in with when my house with my mom got to much). I have never been able to spend more than a day or two with someone without getting irritated with him and I have spent a weekend with him and I wanted more. I don’t want to be selfish but I can’t stop because I want him, I want to spend my life with him…

Without him… I have moved on so much in my life since he has been helping me, I’ve been terrified to enter the world because I was so afraid that people everywhere would hurt me. He helped me get my place, helps me stand up for myself. He has helped me to get the promotion at work that I was scared to do. I think of life without him and I start to have suicidal thoughts.

I hate myself for what I’m doing, for the people I’m hurting and for not being able to end it. I hate to think of my life without him. I realize the mess I’ve made of everything, and I can’t stop thinking the only thing to do is end it with him so he can salvage his family and kill myself to stop everything from hurting.


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my ex,daughters dad is using my daughter as a pawn to get at me can my boyfriend adopt her and if so how?

My exhusband was very abusive, was and still is a drug addict. I have lived with my boyfriend and his three boys for over two years now. My daughter is happy secure and my boyfriend treats her and loves her as if she were his own. The court in missouri is very antirights termination but for my daughters sake and safety i need to know how my boyfriend can adopt her if my ex just has visitation rights?


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