How can I cope with this break up?
I had almost an emotional affair with a married man that lasted 3 years, I realized finally it was wrong so I cut it for good.
I still love him, but I value myself more and don’t think Neither I nor his wife deserve to go through a thing like that.
The thing is, even I still cut the affair off I still love him and wants to be free completely from all of it.
How can I pick myself up from the break up and start all over again with someone who wants to make a family with me?
I cannot talk to anybody else about this, since this affair was as most of them secret.
What should I do?
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My wife recently found out that I was having an emotional affair with another woman via my blackberry and we are thinking of divorce after 14 years of seemingly a normal up/down marriage.
When she confronted me with this I initially lied but confessed 5 mins later after a wave guilt
Poor decision making on my part as I met the younger woman through my job. We went to lunch three times and shared "how doing" and "whats going with you?" type of text messages over a 3/4 month period. The lunches were 1 group lunch and two lunches by ourselves.
My wife asked why.. and I gave her a very honest response of the different type of attention that I received from this other woman was something new and unexpected. I just liked the attention from this pretty woman and purposely hid this from my wife as I knew it was somewhat wrong.
I was never physical with this other woman but it doesn’t seem to matter to my wife much.. I feel like a total scumbag..
My wife questions my true intentions and doubts that we were not physical..I would doubt the same. .. I’ve lost her trust and friendship an want to try get it back..
Thoughts or ideas would be appreciated from today’s biggest Loser.
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doesnt seem to be gettinh any better i am sticking by her cause i love her so dam much and she is sticking by me aswell and she has been totally honest to me i dont know what to do let her go to be with him or try and fix our marrige up the problem is this guy she loves is 26years old and she is 46 not that age matters but he was a family friend to us for 8years and he knew my wife was going through menopause and she was so vunable at the time and he took advange of this and i am dam angry if i see him i rip him apart for what hes done to my family and now she still has deep feelings for him how long does it take for her to get her love back for me we been together for 30years and its worth saveing she agress but her heart is over ruling her head please help you guys i am a husband that loves this woman to death if i have to let her go i will but i want to try and avoid that and is it best to move from where we live and start fresh i know if she goes she make a big mistake in her life
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My husband had an emotional affair last summer and we have been trying to get past it. We have a child now…(I was pregnant when it happened) and I really want to make things work.
Any advice? Any help would be GREATLY appreciated.
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10 months later I STILL HAVE CONCERNS
I had read 6 different books including Michele’s d_busting. We never went to counseling. Back in August 9, 2008 I discovered 100′s of phone calls made from my wife cellular to the manager of the PX supermarket were she used to purchase our groceries. Right after I told her about my discover she asked me for divorce.I starting reading and reading and reading desperate to save my marriage . I extracted everything from 6 different books since not everything applied to our case. I did my investigative work with not too good results. I stoped "interrogating" my wife since she was planning to fleet. We had a mix of miserable and wonderful days together.
10 months later I continue with the investigation and guess what…I found out that I was chasing the wrong OM and I called the "wrong" OMW back in Octuber last year…(sh#!@). I was close but it wasn’t enough.
Today. I know exactly who is the OM. I know the name of the OMW. They have apparently have a "happy" family. Both of them are going thru a second marriage. I told my wife from the begining that she was dealing with a married man. She didn’t believed me. She said the OM told her he was divorced and that he lived alone in an apartment. Guess what…they live in a house 7 miles from our house and the guy is the manager of a local PX supermarket.
My concern: I haven’t prove it yet but I believed they started the telephone convertations after this guy was promoted and transfered from the px supermarket close to our house to a supermarket 20 miles from us in June 2007. I tracked (gps) her once in Octuber last year after the Discovery day and I was able to confirm this. Now, yesterday I confirmed that this guy was transfered to a PX supermarket closer to our house. My wife is totally unaware of this situation. I entered the supermarket and I saw his picture hanging on the wall "store manager". My concern is: my wife sometimes goes to this supermarket. If she discover the guy is there something may happen. So far she hasn’t promise me she will not see this guy again. I’m confuse. Everything in our marriage looks so far so good but I feel unconfortable with this asshole now to close to us. I don’t know if should go to his work place and warn this guy about what could happens if I discover another phone call in my wife cell, or maybe I should treat him to let his wife know everything about his affair with my wife. That could start another problem that I can not afford at this point. I feel like I want "revenge". All the miserable days this guy made me go through but at the same time I realize that if my wife knows that I’m following this guy she may be not too happy. I also discovered that this guy launch his boat at the same marina we launch our boat.
After 10 months of hard work to get to were we are, to a point that it looks like a "permanent" honeymoon. I’m still affraid to blow it. Please somebody help me. I need feedback. For the last 2 days I haven’t been able to sleep well again. I’m having dreams about fighting with this guy. Even when I’m awake I feel like going to his place and tell what a piece a Jerk he is. Even I’m thinking about telling his wife. I know that even tho 10 months has passed it isn’t enough to cool down. I think if I ever get close this guy I will kick his ass or it could even be worse. I still don’t know. I feel unconfortable now that I know the OM is around. Need feedback
After 29 years married it’s difficult to think about divorce. My wife and me dicided not to talk about this anymore an continue we our lives. Actually we are having a better time together, thanks God. I admitted I had some problems and believe me I’m working hard to solve them. We dicided not to divorce. There is only one proble and thatis that my wife does want to answer all my questions. I pray to God every day and I believe he will change her heart and surprisily she will come to me and ask for an appology. Only after that I will be in peace. But I can’t ask for an appology. I think it will take time. I did emotionally abandon her to engage in internet chating. I confesed to her that I wasted a year in this f*&king Internet.
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