I was thinking about this today after a discussion with an ex about her sexual fantasies with me. Now as a whole, women are thought to be the more private and the less sexual ones in relationships….mostly because it’s true. However, women do have sex drives, and to me at least…it seems like women have more sexual fantasies than men do. Is it due to sexual repression? Repression of your fantasy due to societal norms or taboos?

For example, here are common sexual fantasies I hear from most women:
1: Rape sex-This varies from woman to woman, but it all involves them being submissive to a dominant male. Some women fight through the sex for more excitement, while others are completely submissive and just take it from a dominant male. For starters, I hope you women clearly indicate to your partner how "hard" you want your rape sex because it could be just a male dominated sexual experience or he might actually sneak up on you somewhere and start beating the hell out of you and almost "raping" you. I just thought I would throw that in for an FYI. What is it with women liking this "rape sex" though? Is it just because you feel and try to act as a "pure" woman all the time, yet you fantasy about being just slaughtered roughly by some guy or what’s the deal?

2: Group sex-I’m just going to mention 2 girls, 1 guy because I am homophobic and I would never get with another dude in this scenario, but obviously a lot of women fantasy about either of those situations. For women, what is it about being with another woman or man that you find fantisizing? And don’t tell me it’s "skanky" or "dirty", because I hear this one from a lot of down to earth girls that don’t do it, but WANT to do it…..as I’ll discuss later below.

3: Work/Public/Elevator sex-Pretty straight forward. Women fantasize about having sex in the confines of their workplace and enjoy doing the deed in an environment where it is very taboo. Similar situation with elevators although I think it’s rather just a kinky "I want to try that" maneuver. I’ve heard weird and kinky things about Public sex. Some people just want to do it in a condo with a big window so some people can see them, but I’ve heard a few women…including an ex…tell me that they would have loved it if I would have had sex with them in the middle of Central Park in NYC for everybody to see…because she WANTED them to see. But why?…is it an underlying female ego thing where you just let everybody know that "This is my man, not yours" type of deal or what’s the deal there?

These are the top 3 that I hear from females…I know there are more. Now for the meat of what I am getting at with all of this. Why don’t you women ever tell your partners about your kinky fantasies that YOU WANT to have done to you or you want to do to them? Do you feel as if you are too innocent or you may be frowned upon as a woman because of these "secrets"? I’m asking because in all 3 of those situations up there, I would do them all in a heartbeat as a guy. You need to understand that men like sex more than you. If you opened up and described these fantasies, then in more cases than none, the guy would enthusiastically give you a "HELL YEA!!!" back with your enthusiasm. I mean guys are different on some things….for example myself…. I would never do 2 guys, 1 girl and probably never have public sex in Central Park…..although I think a good woman could probably seduce me into doing even that haha. Sure, most guys fantasy is to have 2 women all to theirselves(I’m not as keen as others, but love it nonetheless), but it’s not like your female creativity isn’t stimulating as well. For example, if you were my GF and just straight up came out and told me you had a rape fantasy, I would be totally infatuated with it and love to carry that out. I mean c’mon….you are basically asking your partner to cut loose sexually and have rough sex with you….and you think he might turn that down or not like it?…..c’mon now….I think just about every guy on the planet would take up that offer in a heartbeat. That fantasy would become personally mine as well as yours and I would love to sneak up on you and just throw you against something and go as hard as possible no restrictions applying.

As far as the threesome deal, that’s most guys fantasy anyways….so I feel that needs no real explanation.

Work sex is no issue. If you told me about a work fantasy by having sex in a break room or under your desk, I’d be more than willing to give it a try as a guy. Same goes for elevator sex…that’s simple and easy. You tell me, we do it. Public scenarios are bit odd for me personally, but a lot of guys would love to complete some of those fantasies as well if that is your fantasy. Something like sex on a beach of people would be perfectly fine by me, so why are you holding back?

Don’t even begin to think of me as a perv for asking these questions. These are fantasies that I

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Here we go… the basics about me: I’m 22, My parents were divorced when I was 10 (my moms fault, my dad wasn’t enough for her, she wanted more excitement in her life) and my mom married a white trash, violent abusive drug addict. I lived with them for 4 years where I watched him physically abuse my mom, verbally and emotionally abuse her and listened to him rape her. (IE, listen to her screaming no and crying and him telling her that she had no choice.) I was afraid to leave her and my new little brothers (they sometimes disappeared for a couple days at a time and I was worried about my family.) I’ve been diagnosed bipolar (unmedicated now because the meds just made it worse), anxiety issues, have had suicidal issues and extremely low self esteem.

Let me say up front that I KNOW that none of that excuses what I have done and the pain that I’m about to cause others. I just wanted to give some background… I’m not looking to excuse myself, I just want the full picture here. So, please if you feel the need get it out of the way to tell me what you think of me, I’m completely positive you couldn’t think worse of me than I think of myself.

I liked a guy at work and when I found out he was married I was disappointed, as I thought he was attractive and funny. He is older, he is 41. I started hanging out with him and a few of his friends (we work night shift and we would go out of a few beers in the morning) and eventually it led to him and I getting together. That was 8 months ago and since then we have spent some of nearly every day together and I love him. And he loves me. I never meant to end up in a situation like this, and I admit I didn’t truly understand the extent of what I was doing.

He says he never thought he would feel like this again, and that even if he wanted to he doesn’t think it would be possible for him to stop seeing me. He has 2 grown kids, 20 and 18. I have no idea how he spends so much time with me and to be honest I never wanted to know.

He is starting to talk now about how somebody is going to get hurt no matter what, that either I will get hurt or (he trails off here, he has never once mentioned his wife) and that no matter what he is going to end up hurt. I started to realize, however, the true extent of what would happen. If he leaves her… He already has kids and doesn’t want more, someday I will. Even if he truly left her I’m not ready to commit forever and I’d feel like I had to because he gave up everything for me.

This is going to sound stupid but he is very controlling and possessive, which I don’t mind when we are together but I don’t want to spend my entire life being told what I can and can’t do, and I want to travel and do what I feel like doing. … I’m not ready to settle down. This should make it seem like the easiest situation possible to work out but I love him. I feel sick at the thought of never seeing him again, when he holds me I feel like I’ve never felt before.

I know people will say he is a daddy figure – but I’m not actually lacking that because I have a very good relationship with my father (who I moved in with when my house with my mom got to much). I have never been able to spend more than a day or two with someone without getting irritated with him and I have spent a weekend with him and I wanted more. I don’t want to be selfish but I can’t stop because I want him, I want to spend my life with him…

Without him… I have moved on so much in my life since he has been helping me, I’ve been terrified to enter the world because I was so afraid that people everywhere would hurt me. He helped me get my place, helps me stand up for myself. He has helped me to get the promotion at work that I was scared to do. I think of life without him and I start to have suicidal thoughts.

I hate myself for what I’m doing, for the people I’m hurting and for not being able to end it. I hate to think of my life without him. I realize the mess I’ve made of everything, and I can’t stop thinking the only thing to do is end it with him so he can salvage his family and kill myself to stop everything from hurting.

Technorati Tags: anxiety, beers, bipolar, couple days, dad, drug addict, excitement, extent, low self esteem, meds, mom, night shift, parents, Rape, Sordid Affair, trash, white trash

I completely accept that we are over because we weren’t working, and I know that we will both find other people but I don’t understand. We took a break about 3 weeks ago and got back together 2 weeks ago and he was begging me back because we still had feelings for each other, but like I said we broke up because we didn’t feel the excitement anymore. It has been less than 24 hours and he is going out with somebody else when only a week ago we were saying we loved each other. I don’t love him anymore or anything, but we went through a lot together (dated for 15 months and were each others firsts). Any advice?

Technorati Tags: 15 months, excitement, feelings, love

My ex and I broke up a little over 3 months ago in September. We were together for 1 yr and 3 months. We have been through a lot in that time though. We technically traveled the world together as she studied in France while I studied in Spain. Our split was mainly because there was a lot of pressure from our relationship because it progressed faster than we had planned and felt like we were very involved in each others lives. I guess you can say to a point where the appreciation and excitement of one another was losing its spark. Also the distance wasn’t helping when we were away from each other during our school semesters. Anyways when we broke up she studied one more semester abroad in Italy and I was here in the U.S. I stopped contact with her during the three months because I didn’t want to push her away by possibly making her feel any guilt from the separation and which I also thought was the best move for me regardless. During the 3 months I have not thought about her that much really and have been going out and enjoying the single life as you may say. Been able to move on from this instead of moping and feeling depressed from it, which I know I should of been doing anyways. So I have been fine and I know she had been fine especially being away from home.

Now she had come back home a couple weeks ago and I have seen her for the first time. I was very very happy to just see her and I had missed her very much. We got together a couple times just to catch up a little bit. One of the last times we had spoke, we kind of just spoke about how our relationship was before and how things may have been the cause of our separation. However I had asked the question of her possibly dating me again sometime in the future and she said maybe but that she wasn’t sure and that she has been happy being single. But our conversation got cut off after that cause we both had places to be at. A few days later I was invited by one of her best friends to her best friends Birthday Party. I had attended with a couple of my friends that they knew and we hung out with them and had a good time for the most part. For me it was the first time I had really felt the feeling again of really missing being her Man/ boyfriend and it was starting to kill me. I didn’t really interact with her too much that night but my friends had more than me. At the end of the night when I said goodbye I told her that she looked great and that it was nice seeing her. And she then informed me that she was wearing the dress that I had bought her before. Then we had a big hug and then an unexpected almost near kiss goodbye. Really wanted too but didn’t think it was right to. But my friends were all saying that they saw something that night. Maybe little indications of interests still there.

The next day I tried seeing if she wanted to hang out later that night. First she wasn’t able to do anything cause she had things to finish up and wasn’t sure if she felt like going out. Then I had mentioned that she should let me take her out once. After that she had said that our conversation that we had before the other day had gotten cutoff and that maybe we should get together and talk about it. So I said sure and then she asked to meet her at like a starbucks. Then before I was on my way she had mentioned that she didn’t want to leave the house and if I wanted to just go over her house instead. So I did. We spoke about what was going on between us and I guess you can say that she has been happy being single and isn’t quite looking to be in a relationship, however we had agreed to "Date" each other though. She admitted that being back home, that it is weird not hanging out with me when she is home or getting back from work and what not. Now she said she was afraid to go through with just dating because she thought that I wouldn’t be able to just date. However I felt like there was more to it than just being worried about me. But I’m unsure. So I guess you can say that we are technically dating now. We have hung out only a couple times now but when we do it feels just like how it used to be before when we were together. And I feel she tries to hold herself back at times but then she can’t at times as well and just goes with it. However we still now kiss each other at times and it seems cool for the most part. But for me I’m starting to feel the feelings that I once had for this girl. I loved her very much and I still do love her. Now I feel stuck in my head and what to think. I want to be back with her but at the same time I have no clue on how she feels because its like mixed signs.

My friends have told me that I am in a good spot and that I shouldn’t be worrying because they feel that she might be having similar feelings as well but she may be afraid from it as well. I just don’t know what to do and how I might be able to go about to possibly getting her back. I need some help, advice, something. If some of y’all can help me that would be great. It’s just tha

Technorati Tags: best friends, birthday party, couple times, couple weeks, ex girlfriend, excitement, few days, friends birthday, Guess, guilt, italy, little bit, relationship, school semesters, single life, spain, three months

I am 16 now, and I haven’t believed in Santa since I was 11. But ever since I stopped believing in him, Christmas has lost all its magic and excitement. Yesterday I was crying because I just wanted to experience Christmas that way again so badly. Is there no way to get all the magic back?

Technorati Tags: christmas, excitement, Experience Christmas, magic, Magic 97

Ok so just to give you a little background on my fiance and me. I an a 24-year-old single child and he is a 25-year-old twin from a large family. We began dating nearly three years ago and engaged in February of this year before he went overseas (hes in the Marine Corps). We were so in love, like no other love I have ever experienced before. He would do anything for me and I would him. Up until this summer.

I have lived in the same boring town my entire life with my parents since the university I chose was only 20 minutes away. I have always had higher expectations of getting out but never had the courage to do so. Well this past summer I went on an internship and was given the opportunity to get out of this close-minded town.

While on internship I met some really awesome friends and was able to experience being myself and having the freedom of being out of my parents house in a little conservative town. All of this excitement went to my head and I don’t make anytime to speak to him while he was in Iraq as I started to freak out about feeling like I was just "finding myself" so how could I be ready to be married in three months. I started freaking out. "Im an only child, how will I share my space with him….while we have been together for three years we haven’t had my opportunity to spend together seeing as we were only together over the holidays and when he would leave for and come back from iraq every year. (That’s right…he deployed 7 months out of every year). Have this long distance relationship was difficult but we make it work. But I freaked out. And I told him when he got back from Iraq in three months we we rent going to get married as we had planned because I didn’t want to spend married life apart for another year while I finished school and he possibly deployed again. I thought it would be a good idea to wait until we were able to spend more than two weeks at a time together to get married.

He took this as my feelings for him had changed which they didn’t at that time. But as I was unable to talk to him as much as he would have liked, and this in turn made him fear the worst and he began questioning me telling me he wanted the old me back. At the time that I was letting the freedom go to my head and prioritized that over him. The resentment went on like this all summer, he was an emotional wreck and so was I. We were communicating poorly and didn’t understand each others needs. (my experiencing freedom and finding myself. and him needed to speak to me just to keep sane and have a connection to the outside of war zones.)

When he came home from Iraq I resented HIM SO MUCH! I did and I admit it. I felt like he was jealous I was finally making other friends besides him. I felt like he was being selfish for wanting to take that away from me. I know now of course that that was not the case. Now I just hate myself for not realizing that my boy needed me and I was the one being selfish the entire time.

Now that he is back and i realized what a b***h I had been. He has been unsure if he can trust me, if I will treat him that way again and I completely understand why it is he feels this way. It makes me cry everytime I think about how awful I was. I know how lucky i am that he can find it in his heart to still love me. But I want him to trust me, I want him to know how much he means to me, I want him to know that I still want to get married. But when I try and talk about thses things he clams up and doesnt want to talk about it. I dont know what to do or say. What should I do? Btw, he is supposed to be moving to florida early next year and the plan was for me to move with him. he tells me he still loves me more any anything and he wants me to move with him as planned as long as I don’t "freak out" again. How do I get him comfortable with opening up and putting this wall down.
If you would like to comment on how "mean" or "childish" I acted you can save yourself the time. I obviously understand the way I acted is completely unacceptable and feel horrible about it. I do not need your comments to realizes this fact! Thanks And yes I want to be with him for the way he made me feel for the way we were before I torn his heart out. Not because I feel like I owe it to him or that he is my meal ticket out of the hellish town I live in. I will be receiving my degree in two weeks and will be able to move anywhere and get a job as a nurse. But I WANT to be with him. I love him, even though you wouldn’t believe it by the way i acted this summer. And no, I didn’t cheat on him, nor would I ever!

Technorati Tags: 7 months, amp, boring town, conservative town, courage, excitement, fiance, freak, freedom, hes, holidays, internship, iraq, long distance relationship, love, marine corps, Married Life, Met, parents, three months

My ex-husband and I have been together for 21 years, but in 2000 we divorced and got back together in 2005. We’ve been together since then, but I’m missing the passion and excitement. I love him, but I want it to feel new again. It only feels new and exciting when we have a little wine or mixed drinks. Is it possible?

Technorati Tags: excitement, Fall In Love, How Do You Fall In Love, mixed drinks, passion, wine

When I first got married, my husband was into porn and it really had a bad effect on our sex life. He didn’t want it as often as me, and he was disconnected.

Now that he has stopped, he is so into me and really loves sex with me, and wants it more consistently. The problem is, I’m not as excited anymore, because of the rejection I think during the 1st three years. This is year four. How can I get my excitement back?

Technorati Tags: Desire, excitement, porn, Rejection, sex life

I’m 32. I have been married for going on 4 years. Not long at all. My wife and I became reconnected about five years ago. About a year after that I asked her to marry me. A little quick I understand. I don’t think we took enough time to get to know each other the way we should have before marriage. About a year went by and we ended up in counseling. We went for about two months and she said we didn’t need it anymore. I felt we did. We DON’T have a lot in common, food music, sense of humor, passion for sex, or foreplay, for that matter which in my book is huge. I’m not saying that I’m just some overly horny guy but I like a little excitement when it come to sex. Not just hop on and lets go. To make matters more complicated we are pregnant. It’s our first, but I’ve fallen out of love with her. I don’t hate her or anything I just don’t think we are meant to be together. She on the other hand does not believe this at all. I’ve been going to counseling and she finally just started this week. I’m not running away, I want to be there for our child and I want to make sure that my wife is comfortable. I’ve told her how I feel and I feel like an ass for doing so. The past two years just seems to have leveled out and fizzled to nothingness. I probably should have discussed this with her before getting pregnant. I just don’t feel it anymore! Any feed back would be helpful.

Technorati Tags: counseling, excitement, food music, foreplay, horny guy, love, marriage, music sense, nothingness, passion, sense of humor

Came home from overseas, miss the adrenaline rush, marriage falling apart;depressed need some excitement…should I return for a third tour overseas, write a book, save my marriage or find some adventure-minded folks like myself, grab our cameras and travel the world on the cheap?

Technorati Tags: adrenaline rush, cameras, excitement, marriage, minded folks

After being married for 4 years together for 7 the excitement and bliss of course has diminished some. We both love each other and our sex life is still pretty good, but it is just like the day to day tokens of love are missing. What motivates you to express your love to your wife throughout the day? I have been better myself at doing this for him, but I want to know if there is anything that your wife does that motivates you to show your love in a non-sexual way?

Technorati Tags: bliss, excitement, love, sex life, tokens