You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
The problem with sex in the movies is the popcorn usually spills.
The statement following is true. The statement prior is false.
He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
I like cats too. Let’s exchange recipes.
I was happier than a kitten with a Q-tip.
He was deader than a shrunken head at a Hackey Sack festival.
I was busier than a beaver in a coffee lake.
I was more nervous than a ceiling fan storeowner with a comb-over.
He was more tense than Jesse Jackson on Father’s Day.
Failure is not an option. It’s bundled with your software.
Arkansas State Motto: Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Don’t Laugh
You chatter more than a dolphin by a fish bucket.
Save the whales: collect the whole set .
I just got lost in thought, and it was unfamiliar territory.
I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
Two wrongs are only the beginning.
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
The sooner you fall behind the more time you’ll have to catch up.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Can a blind person feel blue?
Change is inevitable except from vending machines.
Plan to be spontaneous – tomorrow.
Always try to be modest and be proud of it!
If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
OMG Uncle Too Funny!!!!!!!
