To expound: We all have people we know that get under our skin, particularly if the person is of our own race,gender,age,sexuality that act in a stereotypical way that when you yourself don’t behave in such a way that it makes you want to vomit through your eyeballs when these schmucks do.

Example number one: Say your a Latino who doesn’t speak Spanish, who is well read & has gone to college,has a high paying job but catches a lot of crap from a few other Latinos who speak broken English,who constantly yell at you in Spanish (even though both of you know you don’t speak it). And go behind your back and complain about not "keeping it real" or "acting like a white person".

Or saying how you forgot your roots.

The same goes with black people. You have a wide vocabulary,you like reading,you may like listening to Rock,Pop over rap or like both & want to go to college and enter a carer, marry a white person or someone from another race, which a couple of other black people accuse you of being a "sellout".

Saying: "why are you acting like a white girl/boy fo’ ?" "Look at him/her runnin’ around with that white gir/boy…) And they seem to be under the impression that just because you don’t go around using Ebonics every two nano seconds & starting/ending every of word or phrase with Yo that you aren’t "black enough"
(As an African American woman I have had more then my fair share of this crap happen to me but I digress.)

Or say your a young women who isn’t a neurotic,man crazy,rambling mess who can’t keep her emotions in check but who is more rational,practical,who might not be a social butterfly but is able to to do a job & do it very well.

And you might be the type to not have an interest in dating because it just might be a pain in the ass, and wouldn’t want to get married, have kids or be stuck with a guy just for the simple fact that you like your privacy. Then a few other women might start talking about you behind your back mentioning how "odd" you are & insert snide, comments and what not.

Not every woman mind you but a few of them. I’m sure you know the type.

Or if your a man who is more interested in being a nurse,a hair dresser and while not a spineless wuss you don’t feel the need to put on a front of being overly masculine and are more empathic then most people other guy might (and will) give you a hard time over it.

Or if your Gay and your not effeminate nor macho but, fall some where in the middle or a whole class of your own & you get bitched at by either side who act like very negative stereotypes of what it means to be gay or if you might be in the closet and don’t want to come out for your own reasons and other gay people give you a hard time over it and make you feel like you have to come out even though your not ready.

Well,my point with this is: Does this sort of stuff I’ve listed ever piss you off,even a little?

That sometime the most grief we get can be by the ones who might be people of our own race,religion,sexuality, or age group who do or say stupid shit without stopping to think about what their doing?

I’ve been mulling it over in my head and while I’ve got a lot of things that I strongly dislike about not only the black community & a lot of women I often wondered if others feel like me about their own races,age groups, genders…?

If what I’m say makes any sense feel free to give me your thoughts and express how you feel?

Because I sometime wonder if I might be alone in thinking like this.

Is this sort of feel normal and how do you deal with it if you have ever experienced some of the few examples I’ve listed ??


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Okay so I’ll try to make this quick.

She and I went out for 1.5 years, and after the first 2 months she told me she loved me.

With previous girlfriends, when they dropped the "L" bomb and I didn’t feel it toward them, I broke up with them within a month or less.

This was different though, I told her I didn’t know if I was ready to say it, but that I still really wanted to be with her.

So she continued to tell me she loved me throughout the next year plus.

Jumping forward… After this most recent spring break (2 or so weeks after) we were headed to the store to pick some stuff up.

I had been really debating for the past few days before that about telling her (FINALLY) that I love her. I thought to myself that I might as well make fully sure before I go through with this (because I had never ever said it to anyone else before).

So, being somewhat sneaky and untrusting, when she went in to the store I checked her old text messages on her phone. The text message at the very bottom had a little Lock on it, meaning it was saved… It said "Te Amo"… and it was from one of her best friends in Mexico. For those of you that don’t know…(she is Mexican, was born in Mexico, but lives up here now, speaks fluent Spanish, and went to spring break in Mexico to visit her dad)…. Anyway, Te Amo is VERY serious and it is essentially like professing your undying love to someone. Like the next step is a SERIOUS relationship.

So, I quickly put the phone down after seeing it, and when we got back to her apartment, I brought it up and asked her what it was. I said that I couldn’t trust her, that she was cheating on me, and all this other crap. She assured me that she wasn’t, and was BAWLING, like eyeballs about to pop out of her head she was so distraught because she thought I was going to break up with her.

She told me that the reason she kept the text message was to A: pretend it was from me, and B: it was nice knowing that someone could actually love her.

I didn’t buy it at the time, but I believe that now I do. So after the whole argument and explanation she gave, I told her that if we were to stay together, she’d have to go through a lot of pain at my hand because I was essentially going to treat her like shit.

She agreed and said whatever it took for me to regain her trust.

Well, about a month down the road, I sent her a text before she got out of class (we’re both in college) and it said something like, "I don’t know if I can ever trust you again." … I sent the text message because I was thinking about the "Te Amo" text and I was just frustrated.

She came over later that day and we sat down and talked, and essentially she wanted to break up with me because of how I had been treating her.

We broke up, and a day or two after we broke up, with ALOT of thinking, I realized that I loved her and I needed to tell her. It took me 2 hours of sitting in her bed and making small talk to finally bring it up and tell her. She said "I love you too" back to me or whatever, and then she said that we should give this relationship a second chance, but it’s going to take work, etc…

Well, now we’re broken up and she has fallen out of love with me, she still loves me, she told me… But I can tell she doesn’t feel the same burning love that she felt before, and she admitted that.

So I want to know… How can I prove myself to her and have her fall in love with me again? I really want to make her happy and I want to be with her, she is my life and I want so much to just prove myself to her.

Oh, and she’s down in Mexico right now for 2 weeks visiting family/friends, so I can’t really do anything immediately (kind of out of contact due to distance, cell phone charges etc) so any advice would be great!!

Thanks so much for reading this… I know I said it’d be short… But I have WAY too many emotions going on right now to keep things short.
Oh and sorry I forgot to add.. this is the order of things…

We broke up, I told her that I loved her… and thats it, we’ve never gotten back together, its still kind of like a "trial" period i guess.


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