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This article shows you how to avoid divorce when your are experiencing relationship problems.

No one goes into their marriage wanting to fail. Many couples dont want divorce because they believe that it equals failure. New facts and figures now state that if divorce is not considered when problems arise in a marriage that couples can resolve their issues and have a stronger marriage.

If you are having problems and are considering divorce, make sure to try to find alternatives that promote fixing the problems via open and truthful communication or marriage counseling. This is preferable over the pain and effort involved in divorcing your spouse.

When others hear that you are having marriage trouble, many couples get unsolicited advice from friends and coworkers that they really dont want. Divorce to others can be seen as a quick fix when in truth it can simply add to your problems rather than fixing them. While you appreciate the support and advice offered by your friends, keep in mind that this is your marriage, not theirs.

By looking at statistics, 80 percent of surveyed couples who at one time considered divorce and subsequently decided not to go through with it claimed to be happily married years later. This can be explained by two possible outcomes. The first is that the couples who previously were considering divorce decided to deal with their problems directly. In doing so, it not only acknowledged their problems but it may have resulted in their finding effective solutions that saved their marriage.

The second is that when divorce was considered that it can change the entire dynamic of a relationship. For some couples this could be a positive thing or it could be detrimental to others. If a problem develops, those considering a divorce could see this as a way out without ever dealing with the issue directly. If these problems grow or the issues faced become more divisive, the option of divorce can be seen as an easy out and therefore become very appealing.

However, those who did not consider a divorce may find some success. They are forced to deal with their problems, and possibly find a constructive solution and common ground. Although this can be hard work and is not as easy as a divorce appears to be in fixing problems, working together and facing issues can be much more rewarding.

Marriage is a team of two players. When both players are actively working towards solutions to their problems and remove divorce as an option, resolutions can be found for their differences. This will strengthen their marriage as you will be working towards something better rather than looking for a way to cut your losses and run.

If you remove divorce as an option and resolve to work through your differences, you can make your marriage work.  It will give you the motivation to work to improve your relationship through understanding and communication. By listening to each other and finding ways to compromise that benefit the both of you; you can build a marriage that will last for years to come.

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I have a question, and please respond seriously, no jokes please.

I am a 16 year old christian boy. I attend religious education classes, and for my entire life I have beleived in God.
Recently however, I have begun to… lose faith in him. Im not sure how to word it.

I’ve been living with a father who hates me (it is a looooong story, but beleive me when I say it :\) and ontop of that, he is disabled. My family has virtually NO money, and my poor mother has such a hard time running the house without a husband that can help her.
Not only that, but last year, I met the girl of my dreams. I know I’m young and everything…but she was perfect for me. You have no idea. It was almost a fairy tale come true.We were perfect for eachother… and All i wanted in life was to make her happy… I prayed to god every night for her to be safe and happy, and for the most part, she was.
The only exception to my "fairy tale" is that she lives 6000 miles away… which was a big bummer, but I had learned to deal with it.

But now, explaining my current situation, my family is still in the same shape it was in. Extremely mean father who makes me feel like a failure, no money, small house, work piling up…
But as for the girl in my life… recently, she just…disappeared. She’s been gone for so long with no contact… and I cant get a hold of her….

My life has been empty without her… and I cant do anything about it…

Then i started thinking about where god was… I do NOT expect god to wave a magic wand and make my life better…but I still pray to him every night…begging for Justine to come back… and she doesnt…. I beg of him to help my family in some way… and it just gets worse…

I KNOW god cant magically make my life better…but how come he lets these things happen… how can he just sit by, and watch people like me’s lives fall appart…
Its times like this that I think about the Holocaust, and all the poor starving people in Africa… and it leads me to lose even more faith…

Even the other day on the internet, I saw a picture of a pile of dead bodies. The bodies were all of starved, skeletal looking african people. There was a caption under the picture that said
"God?… I dont see him, maybe he’s under the bodies"…. and it just hit me deep down…

I’m afraid that I’m losing hope in god… and theres nothing I can do about it….

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You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

The problem with sex in the movies is the popcorn usually spills.

The statement following is true. The statement prior is false.

He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.

I like cats too. Let’s exchange recipes.

I was happier than a kitten with a Q-tip.

He was deader than a shrunken head at a Hackey Sack festival.

I was busier than a beaver in a coffee lake.

I was more nervous than a ceiling fan storeowner with a comb-over.

He was more tense than Jesse Jackson on Father’s Day.
Failure is not an option. It’s bundled with your software.

Arkansas State Motto: Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Don’t Laugh

You chatter more than a dolphin by a fish bucket.

Save the whales: collect the whole set .

I just got lost in thought, and it was unfamiliar territory.

I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
Two wrongs are only the beginning.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

The sooner you fall behind the more time you’ll have to catch up.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Can a blind person feel blue?

Change is inevitable except from vending machines.

Plan to be spontaneous – tomorrow.

Always try to be modest and be proud of it!

If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
OMG Uncle Too Funny!!!!!!!

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My boyfriend and I broke up on Thursday. We’d been dating and living together nearly two years. Within three months of meeting, he proposed, but I knew he was making a hasty decision and said that we should get to know one another better.

Almost two years later, I am prepared for a more serious commitment, but he isn’t. I wanted to marry him, but he couldn’t say with certainty that he wanted to be in any committed relationship anymore (including our present situation), so I left him. I feel that it will only hurt me more if I wait for him to be ready to commit. I feel like I deserve a man ready for commitment.

We live in a one-bedroom apartment. It’s nearly impossible for me to get over him (or cry, or scream) when he’s in the same apartment. How can I miss him if he isn’t gone?

It’s killing me, but I’m trying to separate myself from him entirely. We’re not speaking unless necessary, but I’m terrified of coping when he finally does find his own place, leaving me in an empty house. I’m also hurting knowing that he’ll probably nail the first girl he can as soon as he’s gone.

Most of all, though, I feel like a failure for not being good enough to make him want to settle down. How could he change his mind, and be so calm about it, when just weeks ago he was crying at the prospect of losing me?

Has anyone gone through this? Can anyone help me move on? And does the "distance yourself & he’ll come to his senses" thing fail-proof? He seems completely fine about the whole thing.

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hi i am 36 and single going to be 37 on june 17 th ( having bit of birthday blues ) …..i never married because i never found the right woman and now i am bit set in my ways to contemplate marriage … i am in a reasonably dead end job ….. in the accepted meaning of the term i am a failure . … but i have kicked alcoholism 8 years back after a 6 year affair with the bottle .. i have overcome dire poverty to have an existence and have changed from being a wimp to having a rather pleasant personality ….. am i being too harsh on myself just because i do not have a wife and mandatory two and half kids and a dog … and have not yet been able to accumulate assets like house , or started saving for retirement …….
does anyone know a good motivation , self help website ?
i believe like Rocky … " it is not how hard you get hit and stand up which matters .. but how hard you can get hit and keep moving ….. " is that a good mantra to have ?
Oops that was wrong quote here is the right one …." It ain’t how hard you hit; it’s about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done. "

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I have windows 7 ultimate. I have a Hitachi 320 GB HDD in NTFS format. It’s the only Drive with my OS on it. I installed Partition Magic 8. I then changed the compatibility to XP service pack 3. The program asked to fix 2 errors on my HDD. (Something about my partitions showing wrong information) I allowed it. Afterwards the program wouldn’t work. I tried again with Xp Service Pack 2. Same thing, didn’t work. I deleted the program, and the install files. I was about to check with Revo uninstaller that it was gone and make a restore point when my PC randomly Rebooted. After it was up, it asked me to "Launch Start Up Repair." I checked and the PC wont start up normally so I used the Start Up Repair. On it, I could use Startup Repair, System Restore, System Image Recovery, etc. Start Up Repair did nothing. Both System Restore and and System Image Recovery will not work. I have no clue how to fix this. Can I fix my problem form booting form linux or something? Please do not suggest to reinstall OS. That’s obvious.
I did some more work on it. Apperantly I still have my main partition (280 GB) but I also have 280 GB of unallocated memory. (It’s a 300 Gb drive). WTF!

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My wife and I have been together for 12 years. The first 10 and a half were loaded with ups and downs as lifes roller coaster moves along. My wife and I have been through tons of good times and tons of bad times as well. She has stuck by my side through thick and thin. She has been there for me every time I have fallen flat on my face to pick me up, brush me off, and set me back on my horse. Why now, after all these years do I feel as though I love her for who she is, but that I feel empty inside myself and that I feel incapable of showing her the love that she deserves and giving her the life I want for her to have. She is so in love with me that it hurts me to hurt her this way. She has had a really negative life before me (negative childhood, negative and abusive first marriage, depression, anxiety, negative influences, etc), and all I want for her is for her to be happy and to have a good life. But, with the loss of my job after being laid off earlier this year, everything has gone down hill, fast. I have had difficulty in obtaining another career which would provide for her the way I want to provide for her. I feel as though I am a failure as a husband, a lover, a friend and, a father. These feelings have caused me to not love myself, much less anyone else. I fear that all I have done over the last year is hurt her, but she won’t tell me so. I sense it, I feel it, I see it. Our financial stability down the drain, in a negative balance in all of our bank accounts as we are overdrawn, my retirement account tapped out, our investments sold off and the funds used up, potentially on the verge of bankruptcy, our financially secure future up in smoke (??). What makes this more difficult for me is that we have an 11 yr old son together. Our son knows we are having difficulties and he is also aware that his mother and I may be on the verge of seperation/divorce. She is doing all she can, as she always has, to support me, help me, be there for me, but all I do is turn her away and I can’t help but think that if I can’t provide what I want for her, then, it’s best to let her go. I am in extreme turmoil and duress. I can’t sleep, can’t eat, have no feeling, no emotion, an empty shell, can’t make love, but, I LOVE HER, and I can’t show her. I can tell her, but the words feel as though they are hollow when I hear myself say it. She feels it. She senses it.
I fear that my own pride, my own fear, my own anxiety, my own issues are tearing me apart inside, and, therein, tearing apart my relationship with her. For the love that I have for her, I feel that it is best to stop dragging her down with me. I think it best to let her go so that she can go on with her life and not go down in flames with me. She says "…for better or for worse…", but, how can I continue to hurt her by not being able to provide her the life I promised myself and her that I would do my best to give. I pride myself in not hurting ANYONE, but here I am, hurting the one person in my life that has loved me for me, the one person I swore to hold and cherish til death do I part. I have told her that I do love her, but that I am just incapable of showing her. I have told her that I feel it is best for her to leave me so that she does not watch the man she married fall to shambles. I feel that if it was meant to be, and the love that we had was real all along, love will return her to me when I am stable again, but, how much more can I hurt her due to my own failures. Help. I am losing it, I am losing everything I am and I feel as though I have come to the end of my only opportunity to love for eternity.
Oh, and by the way, I am 35, she is 39. She has so much more in store for her out there than I can be and she does not need a failure for a husband. She says, supportively of course, that I am not a failure, but until I can feel in myself that I am not a failure, I can’t believe it from her or anyone else.

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Hi .. I am 36 and single going to be 37 on june 17 th ( having bit of birthday blues ) …..i never married because i never found the right woman and now i am bit set in my ways to contemplate marriage … i am in a reasonably dead end job ….. in the accepted meaning of the term i am a failure . … but i have kicked alcoholism 8 years back after a 6 year affair with the bottle .. i have overcome dire poverty to have an existence and have changed from being a wimp to having a rather pleasant personality ….. am i being too harsh on myself just because i do not have a wife and mandatory two and half kids and a dog … and have not yet been able to accumulate assets like house , or started saving for retirement …….
does anyone know a good motivation , self help website ?
i believe like Rocky … " it is not how hard you get hit and stand up which matters .. but how hard you can get hit and keep moving ….. " is that a good mantra to have ?
uh forgot to mention that i am from india … but i am very cosmopolitan so your answers are welcome where ever you are in the world ..

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I had my heart broken when I was 19 years old so I stopped dating for 7 years.

Finally in October of 2008, I got my confidence back and I began dating again.I was 26 years old.
I have had no luck in the love department.

I’m going to be 28 years old in February and I still have no husband or children and it really hurts.

I really want to get married and have children someday.I love children and I want children of my own someday.I also want to be happily married like my parents.
I tried these free online dating sites and I have had no luck.I am enrolled on eHarmony.com.Eharmony is a little expensive but its worth it because at least the members are screened first.But these free online dating sites are no good.I have had no luck.

Some of my relatives have no respect for me because I’m not married and I have no kids.Some of my relatives think I’m a total failure because I’m in my late 20s and I’m still not married and I still have no children.

I’m working on my Bachelors in Arts in early childhood education, I work full time,and I have my own place, but still no men seem to want me.I thought men liked women who were educated and self supporting, but I guess thats a lie.I have my own place,I work,and I’m in school but still no men are tugging on my line.

I’m thinking about giving up on love just like I did before.I didn’t date for 7 years.I’m thinking about giving up again.Or maybe I should wait until I move to the south to try love again.I live in Chicago and the men up here are very different from the men in the south.I’m moving to the south when I obtain my Bachelors in Arts.I have a friend who had better luck in the love department when she moved to the south.

How can I cope with being single and childless? I’m going to get 2 cats soon, but the cats can’t replace my desire to have children.
How can I face my family? Some of my relatives still see me as a little girl because I’m single and childless.Some have even dared to question my sexuality.How can I cope with the mean way my relatives view me?

Should I give up on love?

If by the age of 32 no man has come along,I’m going to adopt children and go to the sperm bank and have children artificially.

My biggest fear is that I will get to be an elderly woman who never married or had kids.I don’t want to be the lonely old lady who never married or had children.

I feel pressured to get into a relationship before I turn 30 because my relatives think of me as a failure because I have no man or kids.

And my ex boyfriend said I’m too ugly to procreate.He said I will always be the second best to all men and that I will always be a man’s doormat.He said God doesn’t want me to procreate because Im too ugly.

I’m beginning to believe that my ex boyfriend is right.I’m going to be 28 soon and I still have no kids or husband.And once again some of my relatives will whisper what a failure I am and they will think of me as a child and have no respect for me.

How can I cope?
Should I give up?
If I’m so pretty then why am I still single?

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Christians, they love to talk about how loving, dutiful and compassionate they are, yet I have yet to meet ONE who does not practice hypocrisy to the highest degree. Their willful ignorance of the Bible combined with their two faced idealism to preach it, has made us sick, hasn’t it? For nearly two thousand years Biblicists have been lecturing people on the importance of adhering to the Bible’s teachings on ethics, manners, and morality. They quote Jesus and Paul profusely, with a liberal sprinkling of Old Testament moralism. The problem with their approach lies not only in an oft- noted failure to practice what they preach, but an equally pronounced tendency to ignore what the Bible itself, preaches. Christians practice what can only be described as “selective morality”. What they like, they cling to and shove down other’s throats; what they don’t like, they ignore vehemently. That which is palatable and acceptable is supposedly applicable to all; while that which is obnoxious, inconvenient, or self-denying is only applicable to those addressed 2,000 years ago. Their hypocrisy is so rampant that even the validity of calling oneself “Christian” is in question. I see so many people enjoy quoting the Ten Commandments, the Sermon on the Mount, and some of Paul’s sermons, but don’t even PRETEND to heed other, equally valid, maxims. I’ve mentioned pro-life and conservatism in other sermons. This one is going to sum up the rest of my beefs.

Hypocrisy of Marital Relationships: So many Christians try to rationalize this but it is clear that a true follower of Jesus can neither divorce someone nor marry someone who is divorced. There is an exception to the rule, however. If spouse commits adultery, divorce is permissible. On the same token, the Bible also says that anyone who obtains a divorce and marries another is in adulterer. Remember that 80% of this country is Christian yet we have a 50% divorce rate. A majority of divorces are a result of irreconcilable differences, not adultery, which implies that Christians are again practicing selective morality. How many Christians are working on a second, third or fourth marriage?

1) “So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder” (Matthew 19:6 & Mark 10:9).

2) “Whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery” (Matthew 5:32, 19:9 & Luke 16:18).

3) "Whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery" (Matthew 5:32).

4) "…whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her" (Mark 10:11 & Luke 16:18), which applies to women as well (Mark 10:12).

On to another beef: The Christian attempts to put prayer into schools run directly counter to biblical teachings. Jesus said prayer should be a private affair devoid of public display: "And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by men. Truly, I say to you they have received their reward. But when you pray, go into your room (or closet.) and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret…" (Matthew 6:5-6 RSV). Biblicists violate this on a regular basis and have no intention of correcting their behavior. They demand that evolution be taken out of the curriculum. They demand parochial school receive voucher programs so that they may collect public funding. Christians continuously pray in public, IE: churches, street corners, schools, courts, etc. yet all the while they never stop to think this is in direct violation to the god they pray to.

I, of course, know why this is voluntarily ignored. Public prayer forces the peers of school children to jump on the band wagon and pray. We are all aware that the church is simply a business which employs tactics similar to that of tobacco industries in recruiting consumers. Get the kids while they are young and vulnerable so that they become donating members of the church when they reach adulthood. I find it humorous that other businesses warn their consumers on the package that it is dangerous to one’s health while Churches don’t put warning labels on the bible for the pornography and immorality it contains. The psychological damage organized religion causes is notably prevalent. Cancer from smoking and cirrhosis from drinking is JUST AS HARMFUL as the psychosis believers develop concerning reality. The “I see demons” complex is more rampant in Christians then it is in acid dropping space cadets. I am not saying this as a joke. There are literal studies done on this topic and they are in accordance to what I am conveying here.

Christians always use the excuse that the above mentioned verse is some how “metaphorical” yet they take Paul’s maxim that men should pray with their heads uncovered very seriously. I assume this is generally followed because removing one’s hat isn’t particularly inconvenient. "Any man who prays or prophecies with his head covered dishonors his head…" (1 Corinthians 11:4 RSV). On the other hand, Paul’s tenet that women must keep their heads covered with a veil during prayer is quite inconvenient and, for this reason, has either been rationalized away or ignored, although it is no less binding than any other moral law in the New Testament: “…but any woman who prays or prophecies with her head unveiled dishonors her head… For if a woman will not veil herself, then we should cut off her hair: but if it be disgraceful for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her wear a veil… Judge for yourself; is it proper for a woman to pray to God with head uncovered?” (1 Corinthians 11:5-13 RSV) The selectivity in which these verses are followed SCREAMS hypocrisy.

More Commonly Ignored Teachings:

1) "Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?" (l Corinthians 11:14). How many freaked out long-haired, bible thumping Jesus freaks do you know? Perhaps this is just my experience, but I can name 12 such individuals off the top of my head. Surely, you can recall at least ONE LONG-HAIRED CHRISTIAN. The stereotypical version of CHRIST HIMSELF! Think of the numerous statues and pictures Christians adore depicting the lord appearing as that which he detests. One can not stop and wonder at the absurdity of this.

2) Another tenet clearly prohibits women from being ministers or otherwise speaking in church (“Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak”– 1 Corinthians 14:34). It’s difficult to see how Paul could support the current movement to ordain women. Why, Jesus would shit himself knowing that even I, an ATHEIST WOMAN, has managed to get herself legally ordained.

3) A third tenet prohibits men and women from wearing each other’s clothing (“The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God”–Deuteronomy 22:5). Funny thing, two female Jehovah Witnesses came over this morning, they coffee clutched with my neighbor Jenny, a fellow Christian and ALL THREE of these women were wearing pant suits!

4) Ever watch these Christians on television and notice how their bowed heads uniformly shake amen while some evangelist goes on and on in prayer for a fucking hour? Well, repetitious and monotonous praying is in violation of Matthew 6:7. “But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.”

5) Christians are not supposed to take their disputes before non-Christian courts or judges. (“If any of you has a dispute with another, dare he take it before the ungodly for judgment instead of before the saints?” — 1 Corinthians 6:1 NIV) How interesting! Considering that state is separate from church all courts are supposedly “ungodly”. Does this stop Christians from tying up the supreme court with law suits concerning school prayer, abortion, or numerous other absurdities? Hell no it doesn’t, and my taxes are paying the fucking bill for their hypocrisy!

6) Christian women are supposed to dress discreetly (“…that women should adorn themselves modestly and sensibly in seemly apparel, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly attire”–l Timothy 2:9 RSV; and “Let not yours be the outward adorning of braiding of hair, decoration of gold, and wearing of fine clothing”– 1 Peter 3 :3). Violations of these rules are too numerous to mention. Just visualize Tammy Faye Baker’s mascara laden eyes and gold encrusted wrists.

7) Here is perhaps the mother of verses ignored: “Judge not, that ye be not judged” (Matthew 7:1) and “Judge not, and ye shall not be judged, condemn not and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven” (Luke 6:37). I have yet to meet a Christian who has not judged my atheism. The whole world is chalk full of judges, juries, voters, employers, teachers, etc. which are all constantly judging others.

8) Believers are supposed to hate their parents when they follow Jesus (“If any man come to me, and not hate his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sister, yet, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple” (Luke 14:26). Well, considering that Christians do not abandon their families but usually attempt to brainwash them they are all guilty of not following this verse. “It’s symbolic”, yeah, I know your lame ass defense to this one already.

9) They are not to oppose evil (“But I say unto you, that ye resist not evil; but whosoever shall smite thee on the right cheek, turn to him the other also”– Matthew 5:39). If this were followed one might just as well abolish law enforcement.

10) Biblicists are not allowed to call anyone “father” (“And call no man your father upon the earth: for one is your Father, which is in heaven” (Matthew 23:9). Not only is this rule ignored on a DAILY BASIS, but Catholicism uses “father” as a specific title.

11) Christians are not supposed to plan or prepare. God will provide (“Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or that ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on… Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, not gather into barns; yet your heavenly father feedth them. Are ye not much better than they?” –Matthew 6:25-34 & Luke 12:22-31 inclusive). I see Christian conservatives plot on a daily basis how to screw their employees so they can reap more profits.

12) Lastly, Jesus, who clearly is of greater importance than Paul, said the Old Law was to remain in force until heaven and earth passed away and all is accomplished (“For truly, I say to you, till heaven and earth pass away, not an iota, not a dot, will pass the law until all is accomplished. Whoever then relaxes one of the least of these commandments and teaches men so, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but he who does them and teaches them shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven”-Matthew 5:18-19 RSV). Heaven and earth still exist and many prophecies are not yet fulfilled. How many times have you heard some lame ass Christian say “the Old testament doesn’t matter, Jesus was the lamb and abolished it”? Don’t let them get away with this shit for even the bible says that they should still be following the Old Law.

This verse leads me into an observation of how clear their selective morality can be exposed. Take for instance how Biblicists approach the Old Testament. They leap in and out of the Old Law like a porpoise in a ship’s wake. If they like it, they quote it; if they don’t, they won’t. Among the scores of verses they enjoy and employ are those which teach the following:

13) Contact with mediums or wizards is forbidden (“Do not turn to mediums or wizards; do not seek them out to be defiled by them. I am the Lord your God”– Leviticus 19:3 1 RSV, see also: Leviticus 20:6 & Deuteronomy 18: 10-12). Here’s an interesting little stat; Christians more then any other faith consult mystics and self-proclaimed oracles.

14) People should give one-tenth of their income to the Lord, which Biblicists equate with church (“And all the tithe of the land, whether of the seed of the land, or of the fruit of the tree, is the Lord’s…And concerning the tithe of the herd, or of the flock, even of whatsoever passeth under the rod, the tenth shall be holy unto the Lord”–Leviticus 27:30-32)

15) Tattoos are anathema: (“You shall not make any cuttings in your flesh on account of the dead or tattoo any marks upon you. I am the Lord”–Leviticus 19:28) Despite this teaching I manage to see Mexican Catholics daily with tattoos of the Virgin Mary, Jesus or a set of praying hands on their forearms and shoulder blades.

16) Money cannot be lent at interest to your brother, only to foreigners (Deuteronomy 23: 19-20) Ahhh, I’m recalling all the Christian banking corporations….

17) Eating pork is forbidden (Deuteronomy 14:8). Hmm, I’ve never met a Christian who DIDN’T enjoy bacon and eggs.

18) A man must marry and have relations with his dead brother’s wife (Deuteronomy 25:5-6). This goes without explaining of course.

19) A seducer must marry an unengaged virgin whom he seduces (Exodus 22:16-17)

20) A raped, unengaged virgin must marry her rapist and they can never divorce (Deuteronomy 22:28-29). What justice the “moral majority” advocates!

21) There are several petty and silly little verses in the O.T., but none the less, they are to be followed. I guess it’s okay to disobey the lord for fashion’s sake. Beards can’t be rounded (Leviticus 19:27); A garment composed of wool and linen can’t be worn (Deuteronomy 22:11); Note: this explains why you will commonly see orthodox Jews with the long beards and black clothing. I say Christians should do this too so we can identify their stupidity upon first impression.

22) Bastards can’t enter the Lord’s congregation. (Deuteronomy 23:2) Hey, I know this is harsh, but God commands it, hence it must be “just”.

All of these rules are part of the Old Covenant and of equal import. Why quote the Ten Commandments and ignore other tenets? A believer’s obligation to one is no less than his obligation to all. In fact, if under the New Covenant Christians have stepped into the shoes of the Israelites and become, in effect, the new Chosen People, then they should inherit all the privileges and duties of that office. They seem to want the former but not the latter. Biblicists teach, preach, and attempt to reach others with moralism, but are not averse to selectively using that which suits their interests.

I’d like to close this essay with how to catch a Christian in the act. When you see them expounding a verse and ignoring another, call them on it. I know what you’ll hear. They’ll say, “that’s from the Old Law and we aren’t under the Old Law anymore”. Trip them with this: “But aren’t the Ten Commandments part of the Old Law?” “Yes, but we are obligated to follow them because they are reported in the NT” (Matthew 19:16-18, Mark 10:17-19 & Luke 18:18-22). Immediately point out to them that Jesus omitted half of the Ten Commandments and invented a new one, “though shall not defraud” ! Before they can get a word in edge wise finish them off with: “According to scripture it is easier for heaven and earth to pass, than one tittle of law to fail” (Luke 16:17 & Matthew 5:18-19). If sin is transgression of the law, as 1 John 3:4 says, then you should be following all of the Old Law. This, from experience, is the best way to shoot down these idiots and bar them from getting away with their hypocrisy.
answer to texjade23:
I am not a Christian. Think what you told me.
You told that the verse implied that somebody can hate his family in the sense that they are sinners? But doesn’t it tell–Hate the sin not the sinner???
You contradict here.
Also, about the HAIR thing. It’s quite clear. Read the Bible.

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We were ok, if not totally doting in recent years, spent quality time and went away on holidays short trips. My company struggled and my income dropped. I was too proud to involve her, later scared to. about my debts…you pay one to the detriment of another, he who shouts louder usually got sorted 1st. Result being in recent years, about 6, she has had to pay for everything, which she did willingly, but the drip drip conversations with our divorced and separated friends moaning about their Exes and asking if i did this why did she do that, combined with my own failings to deal effectively with my debts and her finding out about them in stages. and my failure to actually say the words "I LOVE YOU" finally came to a head last Christmas. We have tried to sort things out. We went to some sort of councilling at the Church, I cried, then asked why I was crying as she was the one that was hurt….seemed a stupid question to me. I ll leave it there, but as you would expect, there are a lot of other points to raise. What I would like answered is How do I encourage her to love me again. Particularly as within 3 weeks of my sleeping in a local Bedsit she was seeing another guy moved all my clothes out of our wardrobes his clothes haninging in their place and sharing by bed with her, also parking his black Sports car in my garage.

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He feels like every relationship he has been in has ended in disaster. In observing everything that he has told me in what happened in them was out of he control?

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i was going with my boyfriend to his prom and after his prom he broke up with me and over the summer he was trying to talk to some of my friends and now i just got me a new boyfriend that i love to death but i sometimes think about my ex-boyfriend(by the way he had cheated on me and broke my heart) so all of a sudden my ex wants me back but i just can’t go through that failure no more so what should i do?

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hi i am 36 and single going to be 37 on june 17 th ( having bit of birthday blues ) …..i never married because i never found the right woman and now i am bit set in my ways to contemplate marriage … i am in a reasonably dead end job ….. in the accepted meaning of the term i am a failure . … but i have kicked alcoholism 8 years back after a 6 year affair with the bottle .. i have overcome dire poverty to have an existence and have changed from being a wimp to having a rather pleasant personality ….. am i being too harsh on myself just because i do not have a wife and mandatory two and half kids and a dog … and have not yet been able to accumulate assets like house , or started saving for retirement …….
does anyone know a good motivation , self help website ?
i believe like Rocky … " it is not how hard you get hit and stand up which matters .. but how hard you can get hit and keep moving ….. " is that a good mantra to have ?
uh i work as a teacher and i forgot to add that i am from India …… but i am very cosmopolitan so your answers are welcome where ever you are ?

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Hello,

I will apologize in advance for the length of this but I really don’t have anyone to talk to. I don’t feel like I have anyone who understands what I’m feeling. So I’m going to vent for the first time about my feelings here with you.

I just turned 28 and had a mental break down over my birthday. Now that I am approaching my 30’s I see that I have accomplished nothing in my life. I have been living from paycheck to paycheck working in retail for over 10 years now with nothing to show for. I still live with my parents, I am always broke, I have no friends, and I am terrified at the thought of going to school again. My life mainly consist of working lots of hours at dead end jobs that get me nowhere and pay near nothing.

Suicide lingers in the back of my mind often, but I know I could never go through with it because I want to be there for my 5th grade son. I am ashamed that I couldn’t have provided a better life for him. I lacked the ambition to stay in college because I couldn’t even pass my prerequisite math and english courses to pursue a degree. I feel like an incompetent loser.

My girlfriend of 3 years loved me and accepted me for who I am. We lived together for 2 and a half years. She was always supportive of me and wanted nothing more than to get married and start a family. I love her with all my heart. But I constantly doubted myself because I can barely take care of myself and my son as it is. How can I possibly have a wife and more children? I even cheated on her and she found it in her heart to forgive me. I took her love for me for granted.

I made the mistake of telling her I was afraid of being able to provide for her as a husband and ended up leaving her. Because I wanted her to be with someone who could take care of her better than I ever could.

Throughout the entire time we were separated we were still in love and intimate with each other. She made plans to hang out with me one night and I wanted to have a serious talk about getting back together. Before she was about to come over she called and told me she was just going to have a few drinks with her sister for a few hours then come right over and hang out. She ended up getting completely wasted without any consideration of answering my calls and telling me what was going on. It wasn’t until after midnight I got a hold of her and she was trashed. I was so worried yet disappointed at the same time. So I decided to hold back on getting back together.

After a few months I told her that I wanted to give it another shot and work things out. I would do everything I could to make sure we could have the life she wanted. Even though it was just a few months of being separated she was unsure because she finally realized that she could do better. I knew she was dating other people but she promised me that she wouldn’t become intimate with anyone else while we were trying to work things out. I trusted her with all my heart and took her word for it.

While she was intimate with me and trying to repair our relationship I was trying really hard to get her to stop seeing other people. She ended up sleeping with someone else. Someone who was loaded with money and could make sure she would never have to work ever again. Someone who was everything I wasn’t. When I confronted her about it she denied it. I trusted her and loved her so much that I blindly accepted her for her word. Weeks later she finally she admitted it to me what happened then ended up breaking it off with him. Then we officially got back together.

I forgave her and blamed myself for what happened. I could have prevented all this damage if I just had the confidence in myself to stay with her. To work it out I had faith that our love for one another would prevail and even grow stronger in repairing our relationship. We’ve been back together for 3 months now but I can tell her heart is not in it like it used to be. It doesn’t feel the same like it used to. My love for her is stronger than ever. But it doesn’t feel mutual anymore. Now it feels like I’m putting all the effort in repairing our relationship than she is.

I commute to see her everyday. I’m always trying to make a difference with the little money I have in improving her yard, buying her flowers, and taking her to the movies. I drive over 45 minutes round trip even if its just to see her for only an hour at her work, and take her out to lunch. I take better care of her than I do myself. I put her before me always. While we only separated for a few months but we were still in love and intimate with each other, and she totally broke my heart. But my love for her is so great that I look pass it and am eager to move on.

Before I left her I could have asked her to marry me and she would have said yes. Now I can tell she isn’t ready. When in the beginning it was all she ever wanted. Now that I’m ready to make that commitment I fear that she realizes that I’m not the best choice for her and the kind of fu
I’m on the verge of losing the love of my life. I hurt the only person who ever truly understood me. I’ve found myself breaking down and crying 4-5 times a day for the last 3 months. I feel that I am good for nothing. I have nothing to show for. Nothing to be proud of. All I have around me are constant reminders of how much I have failed in life. If it wasn’t for my son and having hope that I can still work things out with my girlfriend I would’ve killed myself already.

I imagine how much better off everyone would be if I was dead. My son would be taken care of better and happy that I wasn’t there to be a dead beat loser that wasted his life accomplishing nothing. My girlfriend would finally be happy with someone that can give her everything she wants and not have to worry about me holding her back and bringing her down all the time.
future she wants. In just a few months of being separated it has completely damaged and forever changed her love for me.

She was the only person I could have imagined a future with. Never have I felt such a strong connection with someone in my entire life. All my life all I have done is let people down and fail everyone. I was never confident enough to make things better. I spent the last 10 years of my life just barely getting by because I was a coward. Now I’m almost 30 with absolutely nothing to show for but countless regrets and bitter disappointments in myself.
All I want to do is spend my free time with her on the days my son stays with his mom. I have absolutely no friends and nothing to look forward to but being with her. She has a lot of close friends that absolutely despise me for hurting her the way I did. I don’t blame them nor hold any grudge towards their feelings about me. I completely understand their feelings about me. I understand she wants time to hang out with them. But when she slept with that other guy she lied to me and told me she was at the bars with her friends that night.

I told her that she needs to start building my trust again before she can go out drinking with them. I wouldn’t care if they hang out but I don’t like the idea of her drinking. In the past every time she went out for "a few drinks" she has always proven to be unreliable. She never calls when she says she’s going to, and never comes home when she says she’s going to.
She makes it seem like I’m making her choose between her and her friends but all I’m asking is for her to be responsible and not to drink. It’s not impossible to enjoy yourself without a drinking. I don’t feel like I’m asking too much. I just want her to be reliable and show some interest in repairing my trust in her and our relationship.

Is our relationship damaged beyond repair? I feel like no matter how hard I try it is never good enough. It is so difficult because I love her with all my heart I don’t want to lose her again. But at the same time she doesn’t love me in the same way like she did.

I’m not into bars or drinking. I prefer to stay home or go out and do things that don’t require getting wasted. I am aware that I have serious self esteem issues with how I think I have accomplished nothing in life but disappointment in myself. I feel it’s too late for me to make a better life in the little time frame my girlfriend wants it. What can I do?

Thank you for reading this.

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How do I get the love back…..the trust back…..the sex back ?

Why sex ? Sex is important….it is an important part of my life…..I am not prepared to give up my sex life….because of age or because my partner might not want to have sex with me ……..

That is why I cheated……but it was 2 years of no sex, before I did !

She told me I had Sexual problems….and I did with her…..failure……but thankfully , with nobody else !

I love my wife…..but if we don’t love as we did before……I can’t promise I wont cheat again !

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