Extremely Depressed After Fiance Broke Up. Please,Please Read?

My fiance who I was with for 4 years broke up with me in early June, stating that she needed to find herself. I was completely blown away when she told me. We had( at least I thought) that we had an unbelievable relationship, we never fought and had so much in common. I lived her family and friends, and they loved me. The same went for my family, they absolutely adored her. She told me she wants to find her individuality and that there is no other guy in the picture. We have hung out a bunch of times since then, but she is sometimes loving and sometimes cold. I hate that this happened and she had never acted like this in the 4 years we dated. I have tried dating and hate it , but the whole thing can’t escape my mind. I love her and can’t seem to get past this. She still calls me every single day and all I think about is her. We were supposed to get married in December of this year. I need advice, I am so depressed.Please Help!!!



Related Information:

Should I get back with my ex-girlfriend?? Please help?

Ok so I had a girlfriend last year in the middle of June 2008. We met through a site and I was 16 at the time and she was 15. She lived (and still does) about 50 mins away from me. We of course, flirted and eventually met. We met at a movie theater near where I live and made out. It was my first kiss and it was the best night of my life.

She’s a very good girl: smart, funny, attractive, etc. and she trusts me with a lot as she told me about issues she’s going through with her family and friends and so on. I was the best boyfriend I could be and always made sure my baby was ok. I listened to her and comforted her and everything like that.

So we were going out for about a month until she told me that she had to go to a different state because her parents enrolled her into some educational thing for business. Before she left, she promised me that she would msg me through the site we met on in order to keep in touch. She arrived to her destination and we still messaged each other and texted. But, as time went on, I didnt hear back from her for a while. I would leave her a comment on her page on the site showing my love for her and I guess she would delete it as to not let it show to page visiters. BUT, her friends’ comments were still there. I thought something was up and even when we instant messaged, she would be very short word responsed and she just seemed a little different.

So a couple of days later I started to IM her. I left her a couple of IMs hinting that something felt wrong to me. I got no response but she was online though. So, I felt maybe she was ignoring me, so I said some short last IM that signaled that I was going to sign off. But right before I could she responded and asked me what was going on.

I told her what I felt and that we only met once and it’s tough to see her because of the distance. So I broke up with her that night and we agreed to just be friends.

Now, that was all in the month of June. A couple of months later, sometime during September of October, she started to talk to me again through the site. We caught up to see how each other’s lives had been during the silent months and she told me she had a bf. I was single at the time, but she said that she really wants to leave him and be with me instead because she had never met a caring and selfless guy like myself before. She told me that she’s with him because his parents told her that he is suicidal and that she could make him happy. I know right? Isnt that kind of weird?

So, she was already his friend and so they started going out.
So her and I were IM’ing and she was talking about this whole thing. Then it hit me, she randomly blurted out the topic of sex. I was really caught offguard.

She asked me all of these questions and everything through IM and she told me she wants to have sex with me. I of course agreed. Why not? The average 16 year old would have. Plus she’s gorgeous. So, we started talking about it and about the next time we would see each other. BUT everything changed.

All of a sudden when we were IM’ing she said "wait, dont say anything, my bf is here. dont type or anything."
Me- "ok. whats going on? why is he there?"
Her- "We’re gonna get busy. I’ll ttyl"

I was lik WTF!?!? I questioned her why and she told me that I got her horny and it was why he was there. I was humiliated. She signed off and came back in about 15 mins.
She even described exactly how it happened even when I told her not to!

I didnt know what got into her! She never seemed that way at all! I was in shock and I though about it for the rest of the day. it was a mess.

So, I still talked to her and she told me that her bf broke up with her the next day because she referred to him by using my name instead of his because I was on her mind. I don’t really believe it, but yeah

So now its April 2009. Things have changed and she just left another guy because he didnt know how to treat her like a bf would. So she’s single. Ive been single this whole time lol

So we are talking again and we want to meet each other again. She’s apologized for what happened earlier countless times and I really believe she’s sorry for what she did. We havent declared that we will try to go out or anything, but should we?
I know that she’s done a lot that hurt me, but I feel healed and it happened in the past. It doesn’t really bother me anymore, because if I was "in the mood’ like she was, I probably would have done the same exact thing. Was it wrong for her to have sex with that guy? He was technically her bf at the time after all, and I wasn’t her bf at the time so it isn’t her fault is it?

Out of all the girls I’ve talked to she’s been the most caring and charismatic out of all of them. I really want to see her again, and we will very soon, but do you think we should give it another shot?



Related Information:

Extremely Depressed after Fiance broke up with me. Please Read!!!?

My fiance who I was with for 4 years broke up with me in early June, stating that she needed to find herself. I was completely blown away when she told me. We had( at least I thought) that we had an unbelievable relationship, we never fought and had so much in common. I lived her family and friends, and they loved me. The same went for my family, they absolutely adored her. She told me she wants to find her individuality and that there is no other guy in the picture. We have hung out a bunch of times since then, but she is sometimes loving and sometimes cold. I hate that this happened and she had never acted like this in the 4 years we dated. I have tried dating, but the whole thing can’t escape my mind. I love her and can’t seem to get past this. She still calls me every single day and all I think about is her. We were supposed to get married in December of this year. I need advice, I am so depressed.Please Help!!!



Related Information:

He called off the wedding with 6 months to go, now what?

He says that I did a 180 change and that it’s not fun anymore and that I didn’t care for his feelings. So he no longer has any feelings for me. I still am so much in love with him, that I think I’d take him back regardless of what has happened … what to do? He doesn’t understand the stress of planning wedding, wants nothing to do with planning, can not answer any wedding related questions and is hypocritical in his reasons for calling it off …
I did give him time, a whole month – actually a little longer, at the end, when I didn’t bug him at all, and after I tried to explain the stress I was under, telling him I understand how he feels and wanting to talk/work it through. I apologized and took 100% responsibility, I know this took over, but he said he no longer wants to fix it, that it’s too late … It just does not make sense … and it hurts so much!
I know that this planning took over) and I only saw him about twice a week, because of our work schedules and (work related) traveling), but when I asked that he share and help, I got nothing in return. He still wants to live his life as if we weren’t planning a wedding … he’s changed too – of course he says it’s because I made him change, and that he is not responsible. I can’t take all the blame, although it seems I have … he was my best friend, my greatest love, now it’s all gone …
I do/did want a marriage with him, not a wedding – I would have LOVED to just elope or have a small ceremony in the back yard with just family. This was going to be lifetime … I think someone here made a strong point, maybe our foundation wasn’t strong enough. My world is crumbling, and I don’t know that I am that strong. But for now I have to be, because I have to call all the vendors and all the family and friends, and I am left with selling the rings to pay for everything that is outstanding. This just plain sucks! Seven years of our lives – gone in the blink of an eye!


Related Information:

Break-up advice… do I really have to move on or would wait?

Hey guys, I really need your advice on this. My boyfriend and I just broke up yesterday. I’m 25, he’s 27. We discussed things last week, and he said he doesn’t know if he loves me or not anymore. He said he already gets annoyed and he needs space and time. So it got me into thinking of finally breaking up with him since I think it’s unfair for me if we still have this relationship, and he’s unsure of his feelings. He said he needs time to figure it out if he still loves me. He has feelings for me, he said, but is just confused right now if wants to have the relationship. He wants to have space right now to think about it. He asked me if I can wait for his decision (it may be good or bad and he doesn’t know how long it’ll be) or just break up. At first he did not want to break up, but when I told him I’d rather break up rather than waiting and expecting for something uncertain, he agreed. He finally said he does not want me to be left expecting with nothing at all in the end.. I might just waste my time waiting for nothing. So there it was a mutual break-up. We ended it in good terms, he said we could be friends.

But I’m just so heartbroken right now. We’ve been together for 10 months. Part of me wants him back. He said he will still think if he will still love me while he has his space right now. Do you think he’ll do that? Will he still think about me? Or do I just need to move on and forget about him? Part of me is still expecting that while he’s having his space now, he’ll want me back. I don’t know. May be not. I’m just so depressed right now.

We have a long distance relationship. He’s in New Jersey, while I’m in Austin. We see each other once in 2 months. We’ve known each other’s family and friends. We were serious. But then, he said he got annoyed recently because I keep calling him and he needs his personal space. He just started work for about a month and may be it’s an added factor that he wants to have his time alone. Yeah he said he needs to be alone. Well, I admit that I was a clingy girlfriend, but I learned my lesson. And if he had told me, I could have changed. He just got tired of me. I love him so much and it just really hurts. Two weeks ago, we were together, so happy there in New Jersey. And then suddenly last week, he told me he grew tired of the relationship.
Should I just move on? or should I still wait? He told me that we should stop communicating for a while in order for me to move on. He said if he would realize he still loves me but then I already moved on, then it’s his loss because I was really a good girlfriend. It’s just that according to him, not all couples just get along well. He’s so honest and I appreciate that. It’s just I’m heartbroken right now and constantly thinking about him. And I’m sure there’s no 3rd party involved. It’s all about him having his personal space for now and the confusion if he still loves me or not.
Thanks for listening to me. I’d appreciate advice from you guys. I guess this communication here would somehow lift my spirit up. I just moved here in Austin and I don’t have friends yet. That’s why this is harder for me…


Related Information: