My boyfriend gets upset when he talks about his ex. Is he over her, should I keep seeing him?

I’ve been dating this guy for 2 months, we have spent time together every day since our first date, we’ve met each others’ parents and friends, and we have been intimate. He is my first boyfriend and the first man I’ve ever been with. I’m starting to have strong feelings for him, and he says he cares a lot about me too. However, he just got out of a 2 year relationship just a couple months before he met me. He said he dated around a little and met some people before me, though I’m the first person after her that he has had sex with and been serious about, so technically I would be considered the first relationship after her.

The issue is that he brings her up frequently enough that I feel upset/bothered/worried/irritated by it. Hearing the story of their breakup is depressing to me, and I feel like now I know way too much about their relationship, I’d rather just know the basics. It was sort of a mutual falling out between them, she left town to go to school in another state, when she technically could have stayed with him, and generally she just changed as a person (had different life goals all of a sudden, stopped being affectionate towards him, i.e. forgetting his birthday after 2 years of being together, she got depressed or something). The real problem is that he will randomly bring her up (for example yesterday, I told him I liked his cell phone, which reminded him of how jealous she would get about his phone, which turned into a long discussion about her and their relationship) and when he brings her up, he gets visibly upset about it. The first time we talked about it (a couple weeks into dating we had a couple hours long conversation about her) he would get teary-eyed, lately he just gets angry about it. He has a slight temper and so gets wound up pretty easily I suppose, but the fact that he displays this irritation and anger about her behaviour and their past situation really negatively effects me. I worry that anything I say might bring her up and I hate hearing this anger from him. He knows this bothers me but yet he continues to do it. I’ve asked him continuously if he’s over her, he says he is, but because of their past he is now skeptical of women/relationships, which is understandable. He obviously knows I’m tired of hearing about her because I told him angrily one night, "I don’t want to talk about your ex girlfriend anymore!" So now when he talks about her, he starts by saying "I"m over it, I’m not in love with her anymore, but I still care about her and the whole thing worries me (that she seemed to become a completely different person in 3 weeks). Which is understandable, that is unnerving.

Is he just worried and skeptical about the future, because of his past experience with her and so he just wants to share this with me? Or his he really not over her, because he gets emotional talking about her? Should I call it quits before I get too far in or should I hang in there?


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Help with getting back ex girlfriend?

to start ill just give you a little story. so this girl was "dating" this guy who didnt treat her very well but she loved him and he loved her and he was the first person she ever loved. but he wasnt treating her well so i came along and me and her started talking (we go to the same school, as did her boyfriend at that time) and we grew close and eventually we hooked up and one thing led to another and we were dating. well, she really did love this guy, but lucky for me, he went on a foreign exchange program and couldnt keep in contact with her for the whole summer. so me and her grew really close and we loved eachother, and i know we loved eachother. there was one problem though. she was going to a different school which was far away and i wouldnt be seeing her very much at all, so we talked about it a lot and we decided to break up and if we still loved eachother, we would date the next summer. so the school year went on and we still loved eachother all the way through december. but there was a problem, she was talking to her ex boyfriend (the one who she loved first). but they got in fights and they stopped talking. but they had established contact again which was a problem. but anyway, in december we decided to try dating eachother cause we still loved eachother, but so much had happened between the summer and december that things werent the same. we expected things to be amazing like they used to be, and we tried to hard to have that, which just made things harder. so, she starts talking to her ex boyfriend more and more. and midway through february, she dumps me for him… but she doesnt wanna date him yet, shes waiting until the summer.

ive talked to her a lot since then and she said to me "i loved u a lot, and i still have feelings for you, but we ended really badly, but i want to be really good friends with you" and i asked her why she went back to her ex boyfriend if they had such a miserable relationship and she was like "he was the first one i loved and we have this connection i cant explain. me and u had a great connection, but our relationship ran its course." so i started to become a friend to her. but then she came home for vacatoin, and we hung out and things were great, but she was trieing so hard to be friends, but i know she had feelings for me still, but she wont accept it cause she doesnt think me and her would ever work again. she also saw her ex boyfriend, and they also had a good time. we recently got in an argument about it and she asked me "why cant we just be best friends?" and i told her it was cause my feelings were way mroe than that, and then i told her that i cant deal with this hurt anymore and i told her im not gonna talk to her for a long time. so i decided im not going to contact her for a month and since she is going back to school soon, her ex boyfriend shouldnt be too much of a threat to me since he wont see her in person for a while. but i need to know how to get her back before summer. i cant tell u how much me and her have been through together and how much i love her, she is everything to me and we had such a great relationship the first time. i know what we did wrong the second time and i know we can avoid those mistakes, but she wont take it, cause she has feelings for me and her ex. i jsut want her to see that im the better guy, and that she can have a great connection with me. she even has told her ex that she wishes he was like me, and that she wishes she had loved me first. but she still has hope for him, and still hopes he can be a good boyfriend. but i know that shell be unhappy. and ive told her all this, so dont suggest to me that i should tell her. ive also told her exactly how i feel, so dont suggest that either please.

i know she wont go back with me cause she thinks that it wont work and that our relationship has run its course. what i want to hear back from you guys is. how do i make her see me as what i used to be to her? how do i get her back from this guy? she has admitted to me that she wishes i was the first person she loved and that she had built the strong connection with me. so obviously she still has a lot of feelings for me. but how do i make her believe that we can work out like we used to? should i establish a friendship with her again first? how should i act with her? if there are any professional dating advice people out there. if they could answer this one for me, it would be very helpful and id appreciate it so much.

but please dont tell me to give up and move on, ive loved her for so long, its been a year now since ive loved her, and i know she still loves me in some ways too.

any advice from anyone is very much appreciated


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What do you think of this part of my novel?

I’m writing this book and I’m not quite sure what people might think of it. In order not to spoil the story, I’m only showing a small part of it. It’s a fiction, action, some romance book. Tell me what you think. oh and do you think this would sound better in first person?

…but the river was frozen solid.
She stopped dead in her tracks. She shivered. She can’t remember the last time she was so cold. Her hair swayed in the wind and she bit her lip.

The only wooden bridge that crossed the river was now covered with a thin layer of ice. She looked at the frozen river in disappointment.

How is she ever going to cross it now? She is no doubt going to slip and fall on that icy bridge and who knows how thin that ice is?
Great.

She gave a deep sigh and watched her breath as it rised up into the cold air and finally disappeared.. She looked back at the path she came from and then to the forest at the other side of the river.
Another shiver.

Well, she’s not going back! She’s come this far and she just has to see what’s on the other side of this river. It has been three days! Another minute passed in silence.
Ok, that’s it! Without thinking about it further, she slowly went over to the edge of the iced river.
She could hear the faint rush of the water under the ice. The thin cracks looked like carefully carved in cobwebs.

She held her breath, and very gently put her left foot onto the ice.
Nothing! No noise or anything like that! Relief washed over her and she let her breath out. She actually had a chance to get over! Maybe the ice is thick enough after all.

With new confidence she slowly put her right foot onto the ice as well.
Still nothing. She half smiled to herself in approvement. Not thinking about it twice, she slowly continued over the river, watching her feet at all times. it took her a minute to cross about half the distance when she stopped.

She heard something she fears to mention. Very faintly but sure enough. the sound of a crack forming in the ice. She looked down at the ice under her feat in panic. Sure enough, there, right between her feet, was a very small crack in the ice. A hint of fear as she realized she could faintly see a dark blur of rushing water under the ice where she was standing.

The ice was getting thinner.

The ice was melting.
She quickly looked back to where she came from, just to get the same results.
"No, no no!" She cursed under her breath. This can’t b happening. She can’t go back. The ice is just as dangerously thin there as it is here. She looked around in frustration, searching for a safe place to step.
Then, her head shot up in fear as she heard it again. This time it sounded deeper… and longer.
"Help!" She cried out nearly in tears. "Somebody help!" This time more urgently.

a few seconds passed as she desperately listened for an answer. Then she heard a faint crunch of what she thought was a footstep only a few meters into the forest. Another crunch, this time closer. Shedidn’t dare move. ‘Hello?" She whispered half to herself.

Then, HE stepped out from behind a few trees.
No. It can’t be. He, he…. He’s not suppost to be real…

She could hardly see him but it was definitely him. She’s just seen him for a few seconds just a few days ago. In a dream. his green eyes revealed a mixture of anger and confusion.
He was wearing trainers and jeans, (just like the first time) but this time with a black hoody. Despite the freezing temperature, he didn’t even look cold. Suddenly it looked like he knew what was going on but also like he was hesitating about something.

"Don’t. Move." He said this very carefully. She stood there frozen on the spot. He closed his eyes as if he was listening for something. All of the sudden his eyes shot open in alert. "No!" He leapt towards her, her eyes wide with shock, but it was too late.

Her cry was drowned by the icy water as the ice beneath her gave way and she plunged through the ice. Bubbles rushed past her as the hole where she fell through disappeared into the distance.
The water was blinding me and it stinged in her nose and eyes. She tried swimming back but the water was pushing her backwards. She was just about to give up when a wild current hit her from the right and left her breathless.

The current threw her around like a doll. She struggled helplessly as the ice disappeared above her. Her vision was fading fast and she gave up on struggling. That was when the current released her. It threw her into the calm-moving dark waters of the river.

She couldn’t see anything and all she felt was cold, heavy and there was a soar burn in her throaght.
She couldn’t breathe anymore.
The last thing she felt, was a faint pressure tightening around her waist.

let me know what you think of it. Oh and please be honest.


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Recovering from a broken heart is a tough task, i know, but are there any ways that i can heal my hurt and start living again?

So we are friends. At first I was fine with that, until he offered to marry me to come to his country (he is Australian and I am in the US). The reason why he’s told me that is because I said i was thinking of moving there because it’s a really nice country. But he only offered because he said he would marry anyone who wanted to come to this country kind of like a mail order bride. But he said that he would not be emotionally involved or honor any vows.

It’s not so much that he wants to do this but more so because he even offered me. I told him no.. I feel so hurt that he would even think of me as such…

Now he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me (he never wanted to be in a relationship with anyone before me and he says I am the first he’s ever fallen for).

He only wants to be my friend because he says I am the first person he is ever been so close with. I know more about him and his past than anyone he’s ever known.


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How To Recover From a Broken Heart?

Is it possible to recover from a broken heart it and start feeling good again?

This guy I was engaged with for some time really rocked my world. We had a lot in common and we did really fit perfectly. However, when our engagement was a couple of months old, he slowly started to act different than he used to do. The reason for this was that he had mpd – multiple personality disorder.

He only wants to be my friend because he says I am the first person he is ever been so close with. I know more about him and his past than anyone he’s ever known. He doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me (he never wanted to be in a relationship with anyone before me and he says I am the first he’s ever fallen for).

It’s not so much that he wants to do this but more so because he even offered me. I told him no.. I feel so hurt that he would even think of me as such…

So we are friends. At first I was fine with that, until he offered to marry me to come to his country (he is Australian and I am in the US).

The reason why he’s told me that is because I said i was thinking of moving there because it’s a really nice country.

But he only offered because he said he would marry anyone who wanted to come to this country kind of like a mail order bride. But he said that he would not be emotionally involved or honor any vows.


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