really hope a noble muslim man/woman can help me. i am suffocating in my own guilt and starting to feel suicidal

i am muslim girl and i have found the man I am going to marry. he is a good muslim man and has brought out a better muslim in me as well..

there is just one BIG problem, i told him i am a virgin, but i have had sex with 3 other men that i was involved with in the past from the ages of 18 -22 years. I was not on the path of islam and strayed badly in my younger years. my guilt is now killing me as i have lied to my future husband, the love of my life – i wish i could turn back time and undo it but i cannot.

i am soo guilty, the thoughts are always in my head, i feel so so low and i always beg allah for forgiveness. now i will never do what i did again, i want to marry, settle down and have a good married life and be a good muslim woman and a muslim wife.

buy i my fiance knows NOTHING – he always says he cannot accept his wife has been with anyone else – he will leave me if i told him about the grave mistakes of my past.

somebody please give me some guidance.. should i leave him?tell him? i do not want to do this as i am fully devoted to him and want to keep my past where it belongs. i dont want it to ruin the right way of life i am about to start.

am i unchaste for him.? i am truely repenting..is this a good enough reason not to tell him anythin and just repent, do tawba and live my future according to the rules of islam

please, please please do reply back to me my muslim brothers and sisters – this feeling inside me just will nto go – i truely know what guilt, regret is, it is eating me up
I have always been a muslim from birth, i am not a convert – its just that when i was younger i was doing a lot of gunaah

Technorati Tags: 22 years, according to the rules, allah, anythin, brothers and sisters, fiance, forgiveness, good enough reason, grave mistakes, guidance, guilt, Hidin, Islam, love, Man Woman, Married Life, muslim brothers, muslim girl, Muslim Man, muslim wife, muslim woman, Path, Self Hatred, virgin, way of life

okay so here’s the story I dated this girl for about fifteen months and I loved her and she loved me we were only seventeen, we planned to get married after we graduated and before I shipped of to the Army. we had the perfect relationship nothing between us felt comfortable talking to each other about anything and everything I never lied to her and if I did I told her the next day and apologizes and asked for her forgiveness even after she said it was okay. any way last summer when we finished our sophomore year about half way threw the summer I promised her I would stop drinking so hard and quit smoking and cut back on chew. well I don’t know how it started but my friends needed a case of beer and some cigarettes so I bought it for them the next day I went to pick her up I saw her walking down the street and parked next to her I said "hey you ready to go?" she walked in her house and came out almost crying and said "I can’t be with you any more and put my dog tags on my passenger seat I just drove back to my uncle’s [were I was living at the time] I kind of fell into a depression and constantly drank and smoked heavily just sitting on the couch I later found out my friend who I bought the beer and cigarettes for blocked his number and text-ed her saying he saw me buy a case and was at a party at my uncles were I got really smashed and was getting rowdy trying to fight people. when I found this out I called him told him to come over it was just me, him and best friend the first thing I asked was did you text my girl and tell her that he immediately said "yea I had too you just seemed to p*ssy whipped" as soon as he said I jumped up kicked down the coffee table and began punching him and and he fought back and we spilled out on the street my best friend and gran pop broke us up and he said "bros before hos" then it started all over again by the end we were both pretty bloody and banged up I never talked to him after that. I just felt a void and began seeing a girl who I met threw my uncles crack head girl friend after about two days of knowing her we began dating I would always drop her off in bad neighborhoods and give her money and drive her to her house about 20 miles away. it wasn’t a serious relationship i just wanted to fell loved. finally the night came when she was high and kept yelling at me so we walked to my house and i was so angry I got my revolver tucked it my waist and took my mom’s car keys she was constantly yelling and I was driving around trying to find gas money finally I had enough and was going home to tell my parents what happened when I drove by the were out front and yelled for me to stop I just had enough and drove down the road and parked and said I’ll be back I had to get away I walked to the old school and sat out front for about five hours and watched the sun rise and calmed down. I came home the back way threw the woods and my mom was upset and said my dad and herself drove around the whole night looking for me the messed up part she called the cops and reported her car missing long story short I got 1 week in a youth detention center and all I could think about was my ex and how it all went wrong I just kept to myself the whole time and got my head on straight and realized what was right and broke up with that ***** that caused me to get in lock up. it’s been about a year and I always think about this girl when I see mutual friends the first thing I ask is how is she doing. they say she asks about me all the time and they can tell she still cares about me. about a month ago I sent her a long letter because I felt if I called her I would cry and ask her to take me back asking how are you, are you still in school, told her I was how I drooped out in october and caught her up with me. she sent a me a letter back saying she doing fine how she knows how I’ve been, and she kind of hinted around that wished we were still together. her friends told me she hasn’t been with anybody since we broke up. It would mean the world to em if she took me back. I understand that if we get back together things won’t be how they were right away i just wan’t to know do you think in it’s possible she would take me back?

Technorati Tags: army, best friend, cigarettes, coffee table, couch, depression, dog tags, fifteen months, forgiveness, girls, passenger seat, relationship, sophomore year, ssy, uncles, walking down the street

okay so here’s the story I dated this girl for about fifteen months and I loved her and she loved me we were only seventeen, we planned to get married after we graduated and before I shipped of to the Army. we had the perfect relationship nothing between us felt comfortable talking to each other about anything and everything I never lied to her and if I did I told her the next day and apologizes and asked for her forgiveness even after she said it was okay. any way last summer when we finished our sophomore year about half way threw the summer I promised her I would stop drinking so hard and quit smoking and cut back on chew. well I don’t know how it started but my friends needed a case of beer and some cigarettes so I bought it for them the next day I went to pick her up I saw her walking down the street and parked next to her I said "hey you ready to go?" she walked in her house and came out almost crying and said "I can’t be with you any more and put my dog tags on my passenger seat I just drove back to my uncle’s [were I was living at the time] I kind of fell into a depression and constantly drank and smoked heavily just sitting on the couch I later found out my friend who I bought the beer and cigarettes for blocked his number and text-ed her saying he saw me buy a case and was at a party at my uncles were I got really smashed and was getting rowdy trying to fight people. when I found this out I called him told him to come over it was just me, him and best friend the first thing I asked was did you text my girl and tell her that he immediately said "yea I had too you just seemed to p*ssy whipped" as soon as he said I jumped up kicked down the coffee table and began punching him and and he fought back and we spilled out on the street my best friend and gran pop broke us up and he said "bros before hos" then it started all over again by the end we were both pretty bloody and banged up I never talked to him after that. I just felt a void and began seeing a girl who I met threw my uncles crack head girl friend after about two days of knowing her we began dating I would always drop her off in bad neighborhoods and give her money and drive her to her house about 20 miles away. it wasn’t a serious relationship i just wanted to fell loved. finally the night came when she was high and kept yelling at me so we walked to my house and i was so angry I got my revolver tucked it my waist and took my mom’s car keys she was constantly yelling and I was driving around trying to find gas money finally I had enough and was going home to tell my parents what happened when I drove by the were out front and yelled for me to stop I just had enough and drove down the road and parked and said I’ll be back I had to get away I walked to the old school and sat out front for about five hours and watched the sun rise and calmed down. I came home the back way threw the woods and my mom was upset and said my dad and herself drove around the whole night looking for me the messed up part she called the cops and reported her car missing long story short I got 1 week in a youth detention center and all I could think about was my ex and how it all went wrong I just kept to myself the whole time and got my head on straight and realized what was right and broke up with that ***** that caused me to get in lock up. it’s been about a year and I always think about this girl when I see mutual friends the first thing I ask is how is she doing. they say she asks about me all the time and they can tell she still cares about me. about a month ago I sent her a long letter because I felt if I called her I would cry and ask her to take me back asking how are you, are you still in school, told her I was how I drooped out in october and caught her up with me. she sent a me a letter back saying she doing fine how she knows how I’ve been, and she kind of hinted around that wished we were still together. her friends told me she hasn’t been with anybody since we broke up. It would mean the world to em if she took me back. I understand that if we get back together things won’t be how they were right away i just want to know do you think in it’s possible she would take me back?

Technorati Tags: army, best friend, cigarettes, coffee table, couch, depression, dog tags, fifteen months, forgiveness, passenger seat, relationship, sophomore year, ssy, uncles, walking down the street

okay so here’s the story I dated this girl for about fifteen months and I loved her and she loved me we were only seventeen, we planned to get married after we graduated and before I shipped of to the Army. we had the perfect relationship nothing between us felt comfortable talking to each other about anything and everything I never lied to her and if I did I told her the next day and apologizes and asked for her forgiveness even after she said it was okay. any way last summer when we finished our sophomore year about half way threw the summer I promised her I would stop drinking so hard and quit smoking and cut back on chew. well I don’t know how it started but my friends needed a case of beer and some cigarettes so I bought it for them the next day I went to pick her up I saw her walking down the street and parked next to her I said "hey you ready to go?" she walked in her house and came out almost crying and said "I can’t be with you any more and put my dog tags on my passenger seat I just drove back to my uncle’s [were I was living at the time] I kind of fell into a depression and constantly drank and smoked heavily just sitting on the couch I later found out my friend who I bought the beer and cigarettes for blocked his number and text-ed her saying he saw me buy a case and was at a party at my uncles were I got really smashed and was getting rowdy trying to fight people. when I found this out I called him told him to come over it was just me, him and best friend the first thing I asked was did you text my girl and tell her that he immediately said "yea I had too you just seemed to p*ssy whipped" as soon as he said I jumped up kicked down the coffee table and began punching him and and he fought back and we spilled out on the street my best friend and gran pop broke us up and he said "bros before hos" then it started all over again by the end we were both pretty bloody and banged up I never talked to him after that. I just felt a void and began seeing a girl who I met threw my uncles crack head girl friend after about two days of knowing her we began dating I would always drop her off in bad neighborhoods and give her money and drive her to her house about 20 miles away. it wasn’t a serious relationship i just wanted to fell loved. finally the night came when she was high and kept yelling at me so we walked to my house and i was so angry I got my revolver tucked it my waist and took my mom’s car keys she was constantly yelling and I was driving around trying to find gas money finally I had enough and was going home to tell my parents what happened when I drove by the were out front and yelled for me to stop I just had enough and drove down the road and parked and said I’ll be back I had to get away I walked to the old school and sat out front for about five hours and watched the sun rise and calmed down. I came home the back way threw the woods and my mom was upset and said my dad and herself drove around the whole night looking for me the messed up part she called the cops and reported her car missing long story short I got 1 week in a youth detention center and all I could think about was my ex and how it all went wrong I just kept to myself the whole time and got my head on straight and realized what was right and broke up with that bitch that caused me to get in lock up. it’s been about a year and I always think about this girl when I see mutual friends the first thing I ask is how is she doing. they say she asks about me all the time and they can tell she still cares about me. about a month ago I sent her a long letter because I felt if I called her I would cry and ask her to take me back asking how are you, are you still in school, told her I was how I drooped out in october and caught her up with me. she sent a me a letter back saying she doing fine how she knows how I’ve been, and she kind of hinted around that wished we were still together. her friends told me she hasn’t been with anybody since we broke up. It would mean the world to em if she took me back. I understand that if we get back together things won’t be how they were right away i just wan’t to know do you think in it’s possible she would take me back?
I don’t drink anymore, I work odd and end jobs and give it all to my dad for bills, I have 8 months left untill the army and I’m getting a HS diploma threw the state.

Technorati Tags: army, best friend, cigarettes, coffee table, couch, depression, dog tags, fifteen months, forgiveness, girls, passenger seat, relationship, sophomore year, ssy, uncles, walking down the street

Does anyone know how I can salvage my broken relationship with my girlfriend?

She is not interested in me any more,she is saying she is fed up with things i have been doing of course its not infedelity if i might i call it.

I have apologised a million times but she cant forgive me.

I value our relationship alot,we have come from a far and we were about to finish our journey soon,getting married,we have been courting for four years now.

She has hardened her heart, she is my world, I wont go anywhere else but to her.

The more iIhave been pressing for forgiveness,the furthest she is drifting away from me. I know there should be ways of how i can get my ex back and love her like i have never done before.

Please I need your urgent help. I have these mistakes listed down already. Warning: – Reassuring my ex that i have “changed” so things will be different from now on.

- Trying to use logic to show her why she SHOULD come back to me
- Telling her that i love her
- Begging her to come back.
- Acting depressed so she would feel bad for me

Technorati Tags: broken relationship, forgiveness, girlfriend, heart, journey, Logic, love, million times, relationship, salvage, Savage

Don’t marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without. But whatever you do,
you’ll regret it later.
Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.
Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.
My wife and I always compromise. I admit I’m wrong and she agrees with me.
Ladies first, pretty ladies sooner.
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
You’re getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.
Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.
Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.
They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak !!
Star it if u like it:-)

Technorati Tags: address books, falling in love, forgiveness, habit, love, marriage, mother tongue, parents, pretty ladies, real friends, remembering things, smile, successful marriage, transitions

i’ve dated someone off and on again for 5 years. We built a house and no, we aren’t married, but he said that he wanted to be with me forever and then we break up and are trying to sell our house and i find out that he’s hanging out with his ex wife again…he says that she is his friend and nothing more, but it always seems like she is right there when we break up and then he comes back to me begging for my forgiveness….i just feel very used and very confused..

Technorati Tags: forgiveness

Please anyone out there help me!!!! Let me begin by saying that I am very sorry and ashame for what I have done. I did have an affair on my wife of 17 years. After she found out about a year and a half ago, she moved out of the house and filed for divorce. We have two kids 15 and 16 years old girl and boy. MY kids stayed with me by their own choice. I have begged my wife for forgiveness all this time. We went through some marriage counsoling for a while but she did not want to go any more. We did see each other on and off while she was away and we did make love a few times here and there, there after. I had some issues with the kids and keeping them on line so after we talked she moved back home for the sake of the kids. She sleeps on a separate room and she has been back for the past seven months. While she has been back we have still seen each other , have been intimate many times, but she does not want to commit or let the kids know about us, what can I do. I love her !!!!!

Technorati Tags: 17 years, divorce, forgiveness, marriage, marriage counsoling, old girl, sake, seven months

I had an affair at the beginning of the year. It lasted for a few months. I was out of state working for 8 months and because I was in Mississippi working after the hurricane, there was limited housing and not a lot of time off. My wife and I only saw each 5 times in 8 months. Thats no excuse, I really don’t know why I did it. It was stupid, selfish, etc etc. It was the first time I ever cheated, and as God as my witness I will never do that to my wife again. I cant bear to see her hurt the way she has. I could never express all the remorse I feel, but I will spend the rest of our lives trying to make it up. She is a wonderful woman and has found it in her heart to try and forgive me. We are active in church ( I have asked God for his forgiveness, and feel that I have repented my sin), and counseling. I hope she finds it in her heart to forgive me, I HOPE I can forgive myself one day. My question is…as hard as she is trying, she has god days and bad days which I (continued)
completely understand!! I have been and gotten checked for STDs to ease her mind. We have resumed our sex life and when she has some wine or beer at night (which she has just recently stared doing) te sex is fine. But if she doesn’t have a drink she cannot go on with the act. I’m not complaining, I will give her all the time she needs, I messed up. She did not. But I want to know what I can do to help her. I am so in love with her, and if anything came out of my mistake, it is that I realize now what a wonderful person she is and how I cannot live with out her. Our 11 yrs of marriage hae been wonderful. Anyone have any suggestions as to what I can o to let er know that I love her and want her and only her.

Technorati Tags: counseling, excuse, forgiveness, god as my witness, heart, hurricane, love, marriage, mississippi, mistake, remorse, rest of our lives, sex life, stds, time off, wine, wonderful person, wonderful woman

recently i broke up with my girlfriend over a domestic arguement. I then cut off both her arms and threw them in the sea. How can i seek forgiveness? this is urgent, i still love her.

Technorati Tags: arguement, forgiveness, girlfriend

On 8/10/06 my wife left me after i vented some frustration regarding my 7 year old step daughter. I used foul language and yelled, my step daughter was not home during this venting. My wife has sinced moved out and filed for an anullment, she has also cut off all communication with me. My wife who i love dearly has a "PAST", since her 7 year old daughter was born she’s had seven significant relationships. 1 the babies dead, 2 a fiance who left her, 3 an old high school boyfriend who cheated on her, and 4 me. I knew this going in but was fully committed to the both of them and loved them with all my heart. I have sent her e-mails expressing my love and asking for her forgiveness. I have even gone to her moms house where she is leaving and said i am sorry and all she said was "you got her involved". I gave the child all the love and attention in the world, more than her own father. I just had trouble with repeating myself go clean your room your mom wants it clean. i love them both.

Technorati Tags: anullment, babies, fiance, forgiveness, foul language, frustration, heart, mom, relationships, step daughter