It is really astonishing how many people who are looking for marriage license requirements to find out if they can legally get married or maybe to see if they are able to have a Church wedding. Yes these same people may not give the same time and thought to whether the person they are marrying is the right one for them. It is so easy to get caught up in the romance of the occasion and to forget that while your wedding day is a big event, it is the start of something so much bigger.
Getting married is a commitment and should be treated as such. More people give longer thought to taking out a joint mortgage than to getting married. This could be due to the fact that divorce is relatively inexpensive, unless you have a complicated estate or are very wealthy, and it is also socially acceptable in most circles. The fact that celebrities marry and divorce at will certainly doesn’t help.
The sad fact is though that most people do not walk away from a broken marriage without incurring pain and scarring. It is difficult to see all your dreams of happiness with another person die. And it is worse when you remember that a significant number of people who divorce, regret it. They don’t regret getting married, they regret getting divorced!
So what can you do to prevent landing in a similar situation? The first step is to be realistic in your expectations. While it is fantastic to have your husband or wife as your best friend, they cannot supply you with everything you need. You have to a happy individual in your own right or you will make both of you miserable. You need to be independent even though you are part of a couple. You need to show your partner love, respect and loyalty while still giving them and expecting them to give you the freedom to have a life of your own. Your partner should know that they can go out with their friends and have a good time without getting the third degree on their return. Your relationship will be much more successful if everyone involved has room to develop and breathe. And if you do have kids be careful to still make your relationship a priority as one day they will grow up and leave home and you don’t want to be left with a stranger for company.
You need to do things as a couple and spend quality time together. Nurture your love and show appreciation for each other. Surprise your partner with a small romantic gesture every now and then and not just on the obvious occasions like their birthday, Valentines day or your wedding anniversary. In the Magic of Making Up you will get more ideas on how to prevent your marriage or relationship from joining the depressing list of the divorce statistics. So stop worrying about marriage requirements and concentrate instead of being sure that you two are made to last the distance.
Break up advice??
my gf just recently broken up with me, she just want to make sure of her feelings for me… if i was the one for her? she said she wanted a time or freedom for herself to realize of what she really wants for our relationship.. and now its been a month that i didnt contact her.. and i feel slightly good.. so what can you advice for me if she comes back? we’d been 5 years and its not easy of letting go..on the other side being single again is another adventure and fun.. so what can you say for me.. thanks!!!
My girlfriend is pretty much through with me but I feel like the relationship can be saved and she has agreed to talk one last time. She is very agrumentive around me and doesnt want to be aroung me at all. She says she does not love me anymore and hates me for who I am. What steps can I take to give her more space and have her more comfortable around me?
These are a few issues we have but the major one is I need to stop being so clingy and give her freedom to do what she wants. The more I stop her the more she wants to!
1. she is a hostess and goes out with clients for dinner dates. Solution: I told her not to but now I am good with it.
2. she goes out with her friends every weekend. She meets new girls and guys. My problem with this is she did it 3 times a week and never went out with me. Solution: Give her the space to meet new people and make new friends. After awhile she will want to go with me.
3. Try to be friends. Get out of her face and try not to live her life.
3 continued: stop telling her what to do and just be supportive of her.
4. Get my own life. I have a new job now. I am more busy.
5. tell her not to marry anymore.
I guess my problem is I am a control freak. I have been improving and it is showing. I dont want to say I love her, give her gives and buy her off. I want her to come to me out her own free will.
Tonight will be tough. women usually get set on a decision and dont change their minds.
When my ex met me, he knew he wanted a gf and worked very hard to get me. I was "selfish" and very content w. being single and was cautious of being in a relationship but through time, came to find that he was loyal and the long term type who cared and respected me very much. He loved that i was not like other girls. I’m the "good girl" and completely different than all his exes who were "high maintinence" and b*tchy. He loved how i was confident, independent, smart, knew who i was and what I wanted in life, educated and will graduate soon and into a career, classy, mannered, and funny. I also loved being intimate w him and loyally to him I’m not too bad to look at either (his friends thought i was pretty) and right away, introduced me to all his friends, family and they liked me (they were grateful he found a good girl like me). I was a good girlfriend – we both have busy schedules and I NEVER chased him at all but did nice things for him now and then. I never held him back if he wanted time w. his car, video games, or friends – always gave him space and freedom. I always respected him, appreciated him for who he was and what he did to me but if there was ever a time i felt disrespected I stood my ground. I never nagged or criticized him at all.
Within the last few weeks my intuition told me something was off and no matter how much I talked w. him, he assured me everything was fine and how much he wanted to be with me. He was still affectionate and consistent in calling me but felt he wasn’t "there". He wasn’t giving me the sincere respect and attention I deserved. And now, he broke up w. me b/c of his indecisiveness, immaturity, insecurity, and infatuation. I was nothing but infatuation for him. He wants to be alone, no gf, no work, no spark, doesn’t wanna try…how can you not try if having a good girl and all that is here? I don’t wanna get married anytime soon, I’m not pressuring him to be "super serious", i just want a loyal, committed bf. And if there is no other "3rd party", then he didn’t even wanna try w. me? Being on the inside, i never knew (or cared so much) for people’s reactions. Apparently, our mutual friends thought it was "strange" that the "princess was dating the bum" and how "she’s seems to be too mature for him" but were happy he finally "had a princess". And fr. what people say, he still doesn’t know who he is or what he really wants; very immature and can’t think for himself and is easily influenced by his friends. We’re nearing our mid 20′s and i’m more mature than most girls my age (anyway) and he seems to be content w. his friends who have no ambition in life (and possible influenced him tht he’s always w. me, getting jealous but little did they know..). His best friend thinks he’s "stupid" for letting go of a "good catch" like me and that i’ll be the "best girl he’ll ever get". What’s confusing was tht I know he still cared – still consistent w. hugs, kisses, cuddles, taking care of me and phone calls but was distracted. Also, i’m VERY different than all his exes. Will he regret this?
its been 11 days since it and we havent spoken..we were really serious and he broke up so he could do what he wants again like his old ways (drugs and other freedom things) he felt i was his restriction on that stuff…anwyas thats bessides the point..i am going crazy at the fact that i havnt talked to him or seen him for this long anad my plan is to call him by this friday which will mark about 2 weeks…i wanna just call to be freinds and show him that im still the same self i was before and that things can be ok..so we can at least be on good terms and be in teh same place at the same time sometimes…is that like a good length of tiem to wait? has he not called me yet cuz he is totally done and doesnt wanna deal with me? is he covering up his feelings cuz i kno guys do that? im wonderinggg…
I’m not too bad to look at either (his friends thought i was pretty) and right away, introduced me to all his friends, family and they liked me (they were grateful he found a good girl like me). I was a good girlfriend – we both have busy schedules and I NEVER chased him at all but did nice things for him now and then. I never held him back if he wanted time w. his car, video games, or friends – always gave him space and freedom. I always respected him, appreciated him for who he was and what he did to me but if there was ever a time i felt disrespected I stood my ground. I never nagged or criticized him at all. 
