my ex gf and i broke up in feb, but we still were real good friends and freinds with benefits until the end of june when she got a job. At this job she met someone else and threw me away like i was nothing. I called the no contact on her and four months later she contacted me saying she missed me. the other guy dumped her. I really love her and she really loved me. i told her i cant be friends yet even after 5 months. she kept texting me so we finally got together and we told each other all our feelings and i realized the problems i had in our relationship and i want to fix them. she says she wants to be alone right now but still wants to be friends. In our previous relationship i loved her but i had a lot of problems showing it so she didnt think i cared. Now we have reestablished a freindship but she is sending very mixed signals. I am afraid i may get hurt again but i want to at least try to get her back so i can say i tried. I am not sure if i should talk to her a lot and show her i really do care since that would show her i changed or if i should play hard to get which is how most blogs and forums say to do it but i feel like my situation is different. I dont want to show desperation either. Any suggestions? Her friends and my friends have all been best friends since freshman year of high school and now we are soph in college which makes it so hard because i want to hang out with everyone. We all hang out every weekend together and always have. i couldnt imagine not having them but i feel if my ex doesnt want to get back i cant be around her anymore because i still have so many feelings for her.
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my ex gf and i broke up in feb, but we still were real good friends and freinds with benefits until the end of june when she got a job. At this job she met someone else and threw me away like i was nothing. I called the no contact on her and four months later she contacted me saying she missed me. the other guy dumped her. I really love her and she really loved me. i told her i cant be friends yet even after 5 months. she kept texting me so we finally got together and we told each other all our feelings and i realized the problems i had in our relationship and i want to fix them. she says she wants to be alone right now but still wants to be friends. In our previous relationship i loved her but i had a lot of problems showing it so she didnt think i cared. Now we have reestablished a freindship but she is sending very mixed signals. I am afraid i may get hurt again but i want to at least try to get her back so i can say i tried. I am not sure if i should talk to her a lot and show her i really do care since that would show her i changed or if i should play hard to get which is how most blogs and forums say to do it but i feel like my situation is different. I dont want to show desperation either. Any suggestions? Her friends and my friends have all been best friends since freshman year of high school and now we are soph in college which makes it so hard because i want to hang out with everyone. We all hang out every weekend together and always have. i couldnt imagine not having them but i feel if my ex doesnt want to get back i cant be around her anymore because i still have so many feelings for her.
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Alright, to start this off I’ll let you know I’m a 16 year old boy and the girl I’m talking about is also 16. Anyways, she was my best friend for two years, we met in a class freshman year of high school and we just bonded from there. I fell in love with her about a year ago despite having a girlfriend (who moved far away, so i didn’t get to see her much). After an attempted suicide on my part, she became a lot more involved and knew I was in love with her. One night she slept over and we kissed on the couch in my basement. It wasn’t a make out thing, I kissed her on the cheek, she kissed me on the cheek, and after staring at each other for a few seconds i used that crappy line "i think we missed" or something like that. Anyway, I still think there’s chance at some romance. After a little while, we got in a fight over something and stopped talking. Eventually we made up, but we’re not the same as we were. I keep trying to get us back there, but I’m just another friend to her. I don’t want a relationship right now, neither does she. What I do want is the chance to take her on a date. I don’t want a crappy date like just a movie and dinner. I want something romantic and awesome. We live close to the beach, but that’s getting too cold. We do see movies often, so i could incorporate that. I can’t drive yet, so there’s an issue. She’s not very outdoorsy and she isn’t a huge fan of animals. I need some help picking something out, like a whole night date. I just want us to be alone and be able to talk to each other. Let me know of any ideas. Thanks.
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ME N MY EX BOYFRIEND GOT TOGETHER THE END OF FRESHMAN YEAR. WE BROKE UP END OF SOPHOMORE YEAR.. WE HOOKED BACK UP..HE WAS MY FIRST AND I WAS HIS FIRST. WERE TALKING AGAIN.BUT HE FOUND OUT THAT WHILE WE BROKE UP I WAS TALKING TO ANOTHER GUY AND WE MESSED AROUND.BUT WE DIDNT HAVE SEX..WE JUST KISSED BUT WE ALMOST HAD SEX BUT I DIDNT WANT TO .CUZ I WANTED MY EX BOYFRIEND TO BE MY FIRST AND ONLY.BUT I EX BOYFRIEND NOW DOESNT TRUST ME. I LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY HEART. HE MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME. AND WERE STILL TALKING NOW.BUT HOW DO I EARN HIS TRUST BACK.THATS THE ONLY THINGS THATS HOLDING US BACK FROM GETTING BACK WITH EACH OTHER.I NEED HELP..I NEED ADVICE
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Here’s a long story.
Dated my best friend for three years starting freshman year. Last couple months have been rocky – I picked fights over everything accidentally, but still didn’t stop. We talked last Sunday about being sad in the relationship because no one is budging, and I suggested since he seemed so doubtful about what to do, that we should break up. To my surprise, he didn’t deny it as he usually would (with him or with another partner, never again will I try the reverse psychology…no games). I begged him Sunday night thru Tuesday night, and eventually he went from being nice about it to telling me he fell out of love with me and that he was unwilling to work on the relationship and he didn’t want it. Of course I’m devastated. Well that was Tuesday, where he also said he didn’t miss me. It had only been two days at that point and I know he’s been under a lot of stress, and he thinks that this will fix our problem – running away from it. He said he wants to be friends (the classic line to soften the blow) but I don’t want that, but now I can’t fight it. So I’m going along with it, and Friday he sees me and comes up to me at school and hugs me, then goes on to say, "Oooh girl you smell good." It’s like why would he do that? Then Friday night I go out with my friend and shop. Saturday he texts me saying good morning, much like a friend WOULDN’T do. That’s not just friendly at all. He stopped doing that when we were dating even months ago, and probably around the same time he claimed he fell out of love. Then all day he texted me, asking me what I did Friday night, who I went with, where I went, what I bought, what I was doing Saturday, where I was going, and who I was going with. He NEVER did that before when we were dating. Why now? Why is he complicating this? He said he wants friends but it’s not just friendly talk. He’s not being sexual but it’s not always strictly being sexual that makes a relationship. Then Sunday he didn’t talk to me at all. He’s hot and cold! He had told me before that he didn’t like how I acted, but he was never as explicit to why until it was too late. But I feel like he’s fighting with himself on his decision. A lot of our mutual friends are ambushing him asking him what’s the deal, and now he’s shutting even his best guy friend out about it. I think he needs time to figure things out once his obligations quiet down and he gets to think about what’s going on, but can someone tell me what’s going through his mind? He’s not trying to be friends in a good way because if I need to move on I will, but I can wait for him. I just won’t wait forever, and he can’t put me through this heartache of trying to figure him out. He even had said that he wants our friendship to be natural, and if it comes back to being together, then it does, but we shouldn’t force it. It seems like he’s forcing it to stay friendly at times even when he feels like he wants more. That’s also not natural if he is falling slightly for me again…he’s fighting himself. I wish I could get him to listen to his heart and not just his head. I don’t want to fight either but I can’t show him that we won’t fight unless we’re together. Friends don’t just fight for no reason – couples fight because of couple problems. Help…how can I show him that we should be together by being his friend?
*I have evaluated my issues and our issues and they’re just a matter of dealing with problems better, not lashing out for stupid things. I just want to to prove to him that this can work – but I want to know how to make it to that point. He said he loves me but isn’t in love with me, so there’s that love there. I think he’s scared to get back into it and be hurt, but I want to show him that being with me or having an us doesn’t have to be painful – it shouldn’t hurt.
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