Hello thought I’d ask all the ladies and men how they would feel if they were me. I’ve had a friend since 7th grade in HS, so probably like 13 yrs. We met in band and became friends. She was always busy working full-time in high school and college so we didn’t talk as much on the phone till college but I always considered her a good friend. She would remember things I had to do, what was going on in my life, etc. yet I never seemed to ever see her cry or share emotions like that which to me is odd as a very emotional girl.
In college she dated a nice guy who treated her good and he lived in the dorms. She always had time for him, staying over there, spending time with him, etc. but never had time for me (oh till after I was single, then I got to "tag along" with them-lucky me never alone time) despite our long friendship. She claimed later on that she didn’t want me to come over her house because it wasn’t as nice as mine, she was busy, etc. and we hardly ever hung out our whole friendship-it was more of a phone friend relationship.
She would work nights at times and when I was single her bf at the time and his friend and I would go out to the clubs-nothing would happen, I just always got along with guys better and she was fine with me hanging out with them and often times we would just all crash at her bf’s dorm after going to the clubs because it was close and I didn’t want to creep in late sometimes to my mom’s house. My mom thought I should quit talking to him after they broke up-but since she broke it off probably because she wasn’t getting married or something right away I figured he was my friend too and I kept talking to him and his friend as friends.
They broke up the day after Christmas (probably so she’d still get a gift) and her then ex told me she was having phone sex with some guy while they were together. New Year’s we were supposed to go out to the clubs in Cleveland and last min. she told me she had a family thing going on and her ex told me she went to Cleveland to meet this guy and apparently had sex with him that night which I thought was pretty shady and shallow after dating a guy for 3.5 yrs to not even a week later be physical with someone else like that.
I think we sorta lost touch after a while and I stopped in her job one day to find out that she transferred to another store and gave me her new number to call her. Here I found out she married this guy she met on New Year’s and quit talking to me. So I got ahold of her and we started talking yet again.
Later on I met a guy while vulnerable and single from my ex who I still cared about at the time. I became pregnant shortly after which I love my child but the whole situation was and still is a mess. I was hormonal one night and wrote a blog I posted online about fake friends.
One of the people was her as I felt like she always blew me off for guys and other friends and how in high school her and another girl would write on my notebook, "Lonely? Depressed? Call "my name" "my number". I also wrote about her other friend who was more of an acquaintance to me as we didn’t hang out or talk as much. I wrote how when I told her I was pregnant that her dad went and told my mother and family and that’s how they found out.
I approached her and her dad about it and they were unsympathetic and said they would do it again. I was mortified as although it took the pressure off me telling my family, I thought it was an inappropriate jesture. Others were about a girl who when I told her I was pregnant-she told me to abort my child without asking my opinion. I probably should’nt have wrote a blog in a public forum but I was upset, hurt, and hormonal at the time.
So as a result of them reading this my "friend" and her friend whose dad told I was pregnant wrote many nasty things about me and it was a war of words back and forth online in blogs. The girl whose dad told said about how you shouldn’t expect friends to bend over backwards for you (whereas I’m the kind of person who put my friends before myself), be there in the middle of the night, etc. and about how much smarter she was than me as valedictorian, and how busy she would be with her vet. career and wouldn’t have as much time for friends, etc.
My other "friend" wrote about my impending pregnancy with my now ex. She wrote how I was a wh*** as after my ex of 3.5 yrs left me, I fell into a depression and just basically had sex with guys in place of affection and would hate myself and regret it so that hurt, despite the fact that she was screwing another guy not even a week after her 3.5 yr relationship with her ex, wrote how her child won’t be a tax deduction, how she will work and won’t be on welfare and have to depend on the government, etc. etc. She also wrote about not bending over backwards for friends and all that. I was really hurt and the one girl whose dad told I quit talking to even though she has several times to tried to add me on Myspace and Facebook sin
since this incident.
The other girl I quit talking to, I was so hurt. My ex/son’s father was in and out of jail, cheating, etc. and I was just so insecure and lonely I accepted him being mean to me and I just wanted to work and do better.
The friend called me one day out of the blue after a long time after my son was born to I thought to apologize but instead because she had a few outfits for my son. We began talking again like nothing ever happened. We never talked about the situation online ever since but I don’t feel like I could ever trust her. I felt what I said paled in comparison just saying I felt she didn’t have time for me in comparison to calling my child an "oops baby" because he wasn’t planned like hers would be.
While I still talk to her this day, I don’t trust her and feel so judged talking to her especially compared to other friends of mine.
One of my close female friends moved out when she was like 14 and her bf works and we both have received gov. assistance and she is still in college-graduating next yr and I feel she doesn’t judge me, hey we all pay taxes and aren’t just druggies trying to get free money. My hubby works 7 days a wk and me part time and we are struggling but I guess my other friends doesn’t understand that. Another friend of mine had a daughter by an idiot but I feel she understands the harassment and all that and this other girl in question never seemed to date a guy who wasn’t good to her for her to understand.
She urged me to go back to school, I did, got a useless General Studies degree which she told me to go for since I was already a senior and I can’t find a job with it now. Here she’s an assistant manager whose mom used to babysit for free so she never had problems finding daycare. I just got married in April at the courthouse as did she to a great guy.
My mom and mother-in-law’s family both had small wedding parties for us and I invited her to my mom’s party and she kept telling me she was coming and I was going to give her stuff I saved for her daughter. Last min-I think the day of or day before she told me someone at work took off for a funeral and since she was an assistant manager she was stuck covering for them. I was kinda mad and thought maybe it could be jealousy since she never had a wedding party and her family doesn’t like her husband and that and mine does.
She told us she had a card for us which has yet to been seen. If you don’t have a card or gift, don’t say you do ya know?
She did give us supplements, pregnancy tests, etc. after she got pregnant which enabled me to now become pregnant so I am grateful for that as we were going to buy a supplement like she gave us anyways.
Recently a girl we hung around and went to high school with’s mom just passed away. She drove 3 hrs from her home to the calling hours and was going to go to the funeral next day which calling hrs and funerals are sudden where my party she knew about longer and claimed to call off yet still "had to cover for someone for a funeral for this co-worker" but was instead called back to work as no one could cover for her. I felt jipped as she can make a funeral for a girl I don’t think she even talks to as much as me, yet couldn’t make it to my party? Also she told me on the phone how her mom was nicer than her and would talk to us. It made me wonder if she talks smack about me to her other friends. Part of me is lonely and wants to hold onto our friendship but the other part of me wants to tell her she’s phony and to go screw herself. I feel so judged and don’t feel myself anymore around her.
What would you do if you were me? Forgive and forget, get rid of the friend, etc.? How would you feel if someone made comments like she did about you-would you forgive or think they really were jaded, jealous, etc.? It makes me wonder if she thought all these things about me all along too….
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