Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years and we really love each other. I am 23 and he is 27. Well, my ex boyfriend who I dated for about 6 months when I was in college has moved back to the area, and is trying to come back into my life. We were not as close as what me and my boyfriend now are, and we broke up because he was always busy with work and never had time for us. He is really wanting to get back with me but I don’t want to be with him, and I have told him that but he want listen. He comes to my work and bothers me and has even went to my boyfriends work and told him that he wants to get back with me. This is really upsetting my boyfriend and he has told my ex to back off and came close to beating him up one time but some friends of my boyfriends held him back. We have checked into getting a restraining order, but the cops say there isn’t enough to get one. How can we get him to leave us alone?
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My girlfriend and I have been dating for a little over 3 months now. We have been really happy together and our relationship has really been taking off lately, but then she broke up with me. What happened was, she has an ex-boyfriend from high school (we are sophomores in college) who goes to the same college as us and talks to her and stuff still and is pretty much crazy, bi-polar at the very least. Her parents have thought about getting a restraining order against him because he stalks her at school, but they are family friends with his family so they have never done anything. A little bit after we started dating, he began sending me e-mails about how she was cheating on me. I blew them off, until he sent me some e-mails after Christmas that made it seem very convincing that she was doing something behind my back. I had some trust issues for a few days but finally got over it and came to realize she was telling me the truth. But that whole thing stressed me out a lot and I had a lot of other stressful things going on and I got really mad at her one night for a very small thing and told her not to talk to me. She got pretty upset, understandably, and I spent a whole day apologizing to her until she finally told me that she had forgiven me. But then, later the same night, she told me that she needed to think about things. I had no idea what was going on, but then all of a sudden she dropped all of these things on me that she didn’t like that I do such as poking fun at her and going too far, not always talking to my parents with respect and a couple other things. I never knew that any of these things bothered her until she told me all this when it was pretty much too late. While it shouldn’t take her getting that upset for me to change things like that, I really had no idea they were bothering her that much. So last night, January 10, she broke up with me, saying that all of the things I had done had been so hurtful that she just didn’t feel the same way as she used to about me. She didn’t close the door on us getting back together when I asked about that, but I don’t know what to do to get her back. She wants to stay friends, but I don’t know how I will be able to be just friends with her, that would just be too hard for me. Can anyone give me some advice on what I can do to get her back?
I tried to convince her that I could change these things because I can and I apologized multiple times for the things that I did. She just can’t look past those things because of the relationship she was in with the crazy ex-boyfriend, she said that all these things are major red flags. But I’m not a red flag kind of guy, I never ever meant to hurt her feelings or anything, and I’ve even asked her multiple times if those things bothered her, and she told me no. But now all of a sudden they bother her so much that she breaks up with me. I guess I don’t know how to go about showing her that I can change these things. Should I try to be just friends with her for now and show her that I can change these things? Or should I just give her some space and let her think about things and hopefully start missing me?
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