for a another man, i have known this lady for 6 months now, i try to understand why women leave a good man, any help ladys
I was a late bloomer, and new even younger I was inquisitive, adventurous yet cautious and no where near ready to get married, in addition when I was 35 I had the blessed opportunity to have my aging mom come & agree to live with me & became the best friends we had ever been, & I was able to return the help, love and loyalty she gave me as a kid and on. I met a man two years later, after she passed, very laid back but friendly (German) and I am Greek. He was a polite slow starter to our friendship, had been married 25 years and wife left after last kid left the house. Later I found out she also expressed what was wrong, and by the time we met two year after their divorce, she was making attempts to declare interest again..maybe from guilt, maybe from second guessing her decision, conscience, or just making sure she did the right thing. By this time my husband had made a decision as we were progressing that I was the one he wanted to pursue.. So he did and in time after not much responding to her as I said to him her interruptions were unwelcome, either tell her you are seeing someone, it’s too late, and stop or I told him go and try again and be sure. Hence we are married. He really pushed to be married fairly soon. He did everything right that I saw and was responsible. He didn’t want to wait. I lost my head. He wooed me, dined me, called me, couldn’t keep his attentions or (later) stop from kissing and holding me, and even when I asked for us to slow the physical down he did so without hesitation until we married. He is a good man. The day we married HOWEVER and forward he (I believe got suddenly confused) I guess. We just married in a church, two witnesses and that’s it. I was disappointed he wanted no wedding or never considered it would be special and a welcome memory for me to make an effort to have something more special, but he was in such a hurry.. and said he had the "big wedding" and were were both older and it costs money (I agreed), so we didn’t. I would be okay today with this if all had not changed the day we married. We had 5 minute s-x and went to Cracker Barrell for lunch. He was cold. His family was upset, though they and we are fine now, he was unhappy, he would not touch me and I was lucky to see 5 minute s-x once a month, I asked him two weeks into the marriage waht’s going on and that I needed him.. he said absolutely nothing and left for work. Time would lapse and he wouldn’t notice, I had addressed it many times and that one of the things that drew me two him was when I asked what he wanted out of his marriage if done again.. he said someone who likes to have s-x AND communication. To date he rarely does either. Two months into it I told him clearly I noticed and asked if he did, & he clammed up. Later I asked him most difficult questions -
If he was happy; he shook his head no; If he wanted to be married – he shook no; If her wanted to be
married to me – shook no; If he wanted to be married to me the next 30 years – shook no; If he loved or was in love with me – he shook no. It was 2 am when I asked those tough questions – tough for me to ask and tough for me to hear. Since, then he thought I would surely throw him out. I did not. He said he didn’t know why he felt that way but thought of me as a sister and didn’t have s–x—l feeling at that time and asked me to give him time. I did. We are good friends, we joke,I love him, take care of him – one of the things he did though for months early in this short year though, was point out all the things we didn’t have in common. In sort of a poking sarcastic way. Though I asked him later on to stop and he did, the lack of passion that was missing has taken a toll on me. It sunk in after awhile and really hurt me. I kind of had a delayed reaction to how he initially felt. We both believe in Jesus, and am sure that is what glues us at this point. He has never acted like he is in love with me since we dated, and changed "the day of marriage". It feels horrible. I asked him if he was just staying because he didn’t want another failed marriage, or just wants a companion, or why?
He said he loves me was his answer, but I have not seen one passionate romantic gesture or outing where he clearly means physical busniess. I used to have to ask and initiate sex and told him later on I do not want to anymore, but it is hard, and now I have lost so much interest. He doesn’t have his hands on me and want me like he used to during dating, it isn’t like he always was this way. He was respectful but very different. I have mentioned 3 or 4 times this year.. that I need physical affection and to see and hear he wants me and show it, He has become so reserved and mechanical when we are together. He tries. I can tell, but something is stopping him. He has relaxed much and we joke and eat out. I am the same weight I was when we dated and married.
I tell him I love him he tells me, but all the sexy texts and passion left – WHERE DI IT GO? He won’t open up
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Clean up first!!! This is a long one!!!!! My Taurus ex told me everything, he admitted that he ran away from me because he didn’t want to pressure me into a committment after ( me) going through a divorce and becoming single again. We had a beautiful relationship and still do, only its platonic now. We remained friends through me going off and dating other guys to him living with someone. A chick from his past. He admitted to me that he made a huge mistake, he says he’s told her its not working out and he wants out. He says she threatened to break his things. He’s disguisted with so many things about her like, not cooking, not cleaning, always arguing with him, and he pays all the bills, has a great job and is a really good man. We both agreed that timing was bad for us then, but it gave us a chance to go back out into the world to explore, well, I never found another like him, and always hoped that he would come back to me, he was out trying to find somebody better and got a smack in the face! I’m not sitting and waiting for him but, my hopes are high and he says there is no way he, wants to waste anymore time with this girl, so he’s gonna wait til the lease is up so that she can’t break his things. He doesn’t want sex from me and hasn’t had sex with me in about 2 years. He says he knows he will be happy with me, he says "you’ll see, I want to take care of you and your kids" He kept saying that he wants to be with me and that I have sooo many great qualities and that he made a mistake, says he’s always loved me, just didn’t want me to resent him for pushing me into a relationship, says I’m the one he wants to live with and he even wants a baby. Now this all came out of this secretive, sensitive, masculine, well behaved, loyal, dedicated man’s mouth. In the 3 years I have known this man, he has never pured his feelings about me to me this way, he always witheld. He even admitted that he thought he had found somebody better than me, and admitted he was wrong. I’m more in love with him now!!! I told him how I appreciated his honesty and will give him the time he needs to handle his business. She seems to be doing a good job at keeping me on his mind! He says he’s just gonna let the lease end and she will have to make it on her own, he’s caring and he would’t put someone with no job out on the street. I respect the way he’s handling this situation because he’s not abusing me, nor is he disrespecting her. We are not having sex until they are not living together. We both agreed to that. We may meet up a couple times, but, I’m thinking about telling him to just wait, until the lease ends. I have his respect, his loyalty and his promises for now…….. How can I make this situation as comfortable as possible yet, nudge him to maybe come clean with this woman and tell her that he’s clearly in love with another woman( me). He’s stated how he feels bad for being with her knowing he’s thinking about me and in love with me. He bought me engagement ring when we were dating but, it was too soon for me and we never ended on bad terms, never argued. He says I taught him so many things and I am the one he wants to be with. He was put under pressure to move her in because she lost her job and all, he says that she’s not ambitious like I am. This man described so many things that he loves about me, that I had no idea he even recognized. I believe this man and I know it takes a real man to be honest. He held onto me for 2years after our breakup, I am not desperate, I am very confident, beautiful, intelligent, and just know what I want. I just gotta be patient. Has any other woman dealt with this type of situation, or simular, and how did it work out? I don’t need any negetive feedback, I not asking what anyone thinks, I’m asking what the experience has been, so please refrain from wasting your time if you’re not intelligent enough to respect other people’s situation.
He didn’t come off as fake to me, he explained himself as caring about me and my feelings, not being able to look at me without lying to me, he cared too much too hurt me and didn’t want to lose me, obviously he had a feeling he mad a mistake, and I am an Aries, I am forgiving and with him I have learned patience so, I accept the truth wheher it hurts or not but, thanks for the comment
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My step children are hideously selfish and don’t listen to a thing I tell them. They won’t even bathe! They’re 14(boy) and 11(girl). My husband has a passive parenting style. He hates to hear any fussing or fighting and likes to avoid confrontations. He knows that they treat me bad, but he says he doesn’t understand why he lets them do it. He says he just doesn’t know how to make them do the right thing. He’s tried punishment, rewards, and a combination of both. Nothing seems to work. I know that he loves me very much and it bothers him that he can’t figure out how to make the children behave and do as they’re told. He also loves his children, but they are tearing our marriage apart. Anyone have any ideas or have you ever been in this same situation??
A little more info:
We have a two year old daughter together. Mu husband just deployed to Iraq and will be gone 15 months. The mother rarely calls, lives out of state and is schizophrenic . She sees them maybe once every other year. My husband is a good man and a good father to my baby. He carries a lot of guilt about his divorce and the impact it had on his kids. I didn’t mean to make it sound like he was spinelss. I think his passiveness stems more from guilt than anything else.
We’ve been married for about 3 1/2 years.
I tried for the first two years to have some sort of relationship with the two of them. I’ve done things with them/for them, I’m the one who takes them shopping, I’m the one who buys them new clothes, I’m the one who makes their father take them to the library, the park, etc. After two years of doing for them and getting nothing (respect) in return, I stopped doing so much for them. They are just REALLY selfish children who were used to being the bosses and getting what they wanted. I’ve even suggested family counselling, but now that my husband is deployed, it’s too late for that.
Just a little nore in defense of myself: My husband is in the military and he’s not home much. The children are left in my care. I have provided them with structure and activities. It’s easy for a few to point the finger at me and say I’m the one being selfish, but if you any idea how many "talks" the kidsa and I have had about our relationship, you’d understand why, at this point, I’m pulling my hair out. I agree with some of the negative comments. You’re right, I shouldn’t let their behavior bother me, but I don’t know of any way to just "turn off" my emotions when they treat me so badly. Even their father ADMITS that they treat me badly. Again, I have suggested (on several occasions) that we seek family councelling. I work, their father is gone, and I’m taking care of all three children. Is it so much to ask, for them to just follow a few rules? I’ve compromised a lot. I stopped nagging them to bathe, brush teeth, do homework or clean up after themselves!
By the way, Skidoo, my screen name was a joke between my sister and myself. One I’ve had for years. No hidden meaning whatsoever. 
And for any of you who took offense to the term "demonic step children", come on! It was a phrase to show just how frustrated I am with them! I’ve done more for those two chilldren since I’ve known them than either their real mother or their father. I’ve taught them why they shouldn’t lie or steal, how to have compassion for others, how to take care of themselves, and a lot of other real life skills they need to become productive adults. The issues they have were going on a looooong time before I was ever in the picture. I tried to give them what they needed but they rejected me, so don’t point fingers at me for getting tired of trying to help them when they don’t want or appreciate my help. Sometimes, I think the only ones who really understand are the ones who have walked in my shoes. And some called ME judgemental?
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We married 1 1/2 years ago. He was 23 I was 18. We got married because I was pregnant.
Ok so i’m 20 years old now with a 11 month old baby. I finished high school and my intention was to go to college but I was having problems at home and on top of that I got pregnant so We moved in together.
I still love my husband and he loves me, we have had some problems but we are working on our marriage, we are trying to make it better day by day. Ok so lately I’ve been wondering if I really want to be living this life, I’m just turn 20 years old and i’m already stuck home doing chores and taking care of a baby. I love my daughter with all my heart but sometimes I wonder if my husband is the right gut for me. A lot of times I find myself wondering What if I had gone to college maybe I would have found someone that was more like me. someone that had the same goals as me. Somtimes I miss going out with my friends and having a good time , I sincerly really miss the single life! I feel like I missed out on so much. My husband was my first and only boyfriend and he is the only man I’ve dated. I feel really bad because I don’t want to make a stupid decision and hurt my daughter in the long run. I would like for her to grow up with her daddy, his a good man and very loving towards my daughter, she’s his world.
So my question is; how do I fall in love with my husband all over again? It’s not that I don’t love him it’s just that I don’t find him intresting anymore…’
Thanks in Advance!
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