What's the best way to get back at my spouse?

My husband has become so selfish. He thinks only about his motorcycle and his new close running buddy (who is also married). They take trips out of town to ride their motorcycles, ride every weekend in town (without us, their wives) and his friend has such a powerful influence on him. I feel used like I’m just a roommate helping out with some of the bills so he can have extra spending money for himself. I’ve been such a good wife, always cooking and cleaning and trying to do family stuff with him but the motorcycle and what his friend wants to do is more important to him. I’ve tried talking to him but he just gets mad. I know I can’t make him do anything, but sensibly and rationally what should I do to make things better for myself? I don’t want to be a drama queen. But what drives a man crazy or let’s him know she means business? Suggestions of what to do please!


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Husband leaving me for ex-wife. Any words of encouragement-I'm devastated?

My husband’s ex called him out of the blue 6 months ago- she’s going through a nasty divorce. They have been divorced 20 years!!! We have been married 5.
They have one grown daughter, I have one teenage son who lives with us.
My husband divorced her because she cheated on him many times, and when he finally found out she threw him out of his own house-told police he was abusive (lie) and got a restraining order so she wouldn’t have to leave the home.
We had a happy marriage or so I thought. I loved him, was good wife, kept nice house and romance whenever he wanted because I love it too!

Long story short, found out he is leaving me to go back to her! They have been in touch by emails and texts. The house we live in was mine before marriage. I have been unemployed but looking for 2 years. I have no money of my own. I am devastated. When he leaves I will lose everything and have to file bankruptcy-I have spoken to lawyer. I have no choice. No money to pay anything.
At age 48 I will be living with my son at my parent’s house until I get work. I slaved for years to keep that house as a single mom. Now gone.

What would posess a man to go back to someone who did that to him? The first text I saw she said she would never hurt him again-thanks for the second chance! He never even told me he was unhappy in marriage! I ask and get no answers, no explanations. Nice guy. I told him if he was unhappy he should have come to me first to at least try!

The only thing I can logically think of is that she makes good money and he is tired of scrimping without my pay.
He always hated his father because he walked out when he was a baby and he is doing the same to me. In all honesty, why would he want that tramp that dumped him? She left him for a married man!

He will come to her rescue but leave me with nothing? Anyone ever been through this? I am a good, loving woman. I will not take him back-I have dignity, but part of me wants him to realize someday what a selfish jerk he was to do that to me. My son is crushed.


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Can this marriage be saved?

I’m 21 yrs old he is 22 we’ve been married for 7 months and it seems like all we do is argue sometimes about the stupidest things and sometimes really bad yelling at each other. When we first got married he was looking at porn while I was gone for work( he was on vacation) and I told him I didnt like that. He stopped and even asked me to block everything for him. I noticed because we are very active sexually and all of a sudden he wouldnt be interested at all, it would bother him if I touched him, thats how I knew something was up. That was about 6 months ago, it stopped and now I feel like it’s happening again( work is very slow now, so he has to stay home here and there) I get home he feels uncomfortable if I touch him or whatever, but porn is blocked on the computer, the phone records only have numbers I know, we live in an apartment with only way older people that leave to work everyday and we never talk to them, he plays xbox all day yes, which doesnt bother me, and when i come home the house is clean and sometimes he cooks dinner. I dont know whats going on, why is he acting this way. I try and try to talk to him and he says "all this accusing is killing us baby" he only wants to make love once at night which is ok, but I know my man and even when he works out in the sun all day, we both come home and have 2-3 times before bed.

He loves me and I love him, but I feel like something is going on and I dont know what to do? he says "stop accusing me of shit I aint doing" and stuff like that, he doesnt get really angry, only if I start crying or something gets him frustrated….I want this to workout but he says he feels like he cant make me happy, im constanly accusing him and nagging him. I try to be a good wife to him, we go out on the weekends to dance movies or whatever, it’s just that every time he stays home alone, he looses interest in sex with me…….PLEASE HELP ANYONE!! I WANT TO SAVE MY MARRIAGE!


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Divorce vs. Legal Separation (to save? the marriage)?

After three years of marriage, my wife has told me is going to file for divorce. (We decided to separate in August with the initial intent to just take a "time out" of the marriage, but while she was off on her own, I imagine she decided that her life (and stress level) would be lower without me.)

In recent conversations we’ve had, she said she needs to be on her own to figure out what she wants in life, and doesn’t have the energy to devote to being a "good wife".

I haven’t given up on the marriage, but apparently she has. I tried to talk her out of moving foward with the divorce, but she seems pretty determined. The only thing I can think of as a "last gasp" effort is to convince her not to divorce, but to legally separate, and stay apart for a while more while we work on our own issues.

Yet in several good books I’m reading, they say that if I really want to save our marriage, I need to let her work through the process SHE wants to go through (so she doesn’t feel controlled), and if during the process she sees that that things have really started to change (in me), maybe she’ll cancel the divorce.

At the risk of sounding sexist, I’d like to get thoughts from women, and married women in particular, who have been at the same place as my wife is now, and what they did or didn’t do during this period.

BTW, our marriage problems didn’t involve physical abuse or infidelity. Just a lot of emotional issues from past marriages, a "Brady-Bunch nightmare family dynamic" as a blended famiy, and some addiction problems on both sides. I don’t need advise or info on the legal ramifications of divorce vs legal separation. I know all those.


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I love my husband, but I am not in love with him anymore, WHAT DO I DO?

We have been married for over a decade have children together. We met in high school. We had a rough marraige, I did everything you could think of to stay together. I have been a good wife and mother. About 1 year ago I met a man and we became friends it has been 2 years now, friendship lead to an affair. I now have feelings for this man. I don’t love him. I think I just like the sex. I now have a hard time having sex with my husband. I know I messed up. I just wish I could fall in love with my husband again. ( For the record I have been to counseling and all.. but I refuse to admit to infedelity. Anyone’s advise will help.. Thanks


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