miss him and break upAre you looking for some helpful advice on how to get over depression after a break up? As you most probably realize, breaking up is quite simply an extremely painful experience.

It’s not only the feelings of loneliness that make it so awful. Things like guilt, pain, despair, and self-loathing can all seem to rear their ugly heads at the same time. Each of these emotions can derive from, or be the cause of, depression after a break up. The following thoughts will help you through it, and have you coming out the other side a new and improved you.

It is vital to realize that post-relationship depression is a very real problem. While that may not be a medical diagnosis, you must take it seriously, seeking professional help if needed.

Chances are your friends will try to cheer you up. But, let’s face it, sometimes the things they say after a break up only make it worse. However, they can be a great resource to recovering from heartbreak, so be sure to take them up on any offers to help; assuming they fit in with your plans.

The main thing you need to do at this point is focus on taking care of yourself. You may not feel like eating, talking to anyone, or even taking care of basic hygiene. But you have to find a way to do it. Again, see a professional if these things start happening.

Though you may feel like it now, don’t try to erase your ex completely from your mind. It’s impossible to do so, and by trying to forget, you will actually be remembering more. You may want to get right back into another relationship to forget your ex (or to fill the void that has been left by their leaving). You just have to give it time. Do your best to avoid harmful rebound relationships, at all costs, as they can lead to a much worse situation.

One thing that really helps is to be around people. It may be difficult to be around friends and family that offer advice without understanding what you’re really going through. The trick is to be social without having to deal with people that know you, your ex, or your situation. That’s why volunteering for charities outside of your home is such a great idea. You don’t have to worry about the excess emotional baggage, and you are getting rid of your depression after a break up and helping others at the same time.

While being around other people can work wonders, it’s okay to enjoy your own company, too. Now is the ideal time to do things you have always wanted to do. Just be careful not to do things you associate with being a couple, at least at first.

A lot of depression after a break up stems from having too much extra time. How you use that time is key to your emotional well-being. You can use this time to make yourself more miserable, or you can use it to become a better, stronger, happier person. Admittedly, the latter choice isn’t always easy, but it is possible…the choice is entirely yours!


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ok I know this has been a while ago and I have been trying my hardest to forget about my ex but I cant shes constantly stuck on the back of my mind and i see constant reminders of her nd things. It was about two nd a half months ago she broke up with me on seemingly good terms. then about a week later she was wif a new guy which hurt so tried to move on.

Truth is she was wif him for a month before she broke up with me. she doesnt no that i no that she cheated. we havent spoke since I just let her go thought she rushed the decision so i feel i just let her get away without reasoning etc.she sent me a bday text but my friend said not to reply then went on to explain the cheating so i didnt reply.

anyways so ive been out like nearly every nite constantly doing things to try get her off my mind but she doesnt budge, ive been looking to meet new girls aswell still no luck on that part but still looking.

my friend G nd his gf where up town today and they bumped into her and she was with the guy she cheated on me with.my friend Gs gf went to school with her its how I met my ex.They were talking for ages Now they are all going out this friday and some of her friends and one of my and Gs friends is goin. My friend Gs gf is trying to get mine and gs friend matched up wif one of my exs and Gs gfs friends.

So now I feel like S**** cause my close friends will be hanging out with my ex nd that guy. nd there friends.its the way it used to be before we broke up wed go and have a good time with r friends.

I dont no wat to do about the cheating thing with regards my ex. How do i get her of my mind, im trying everything.do i talk to her?I feel bad as well that we havent spoke she said to be friends.I just wish it didnt happen the way it did be so much easier.I treated her rite I thought she was perfect nd trusted her, so im shocked nd dont no her now. I dont get how she didnt say to me aswell with the guilt etc.she must feel bad about herself but she doesnt no i no.wat do?advice please.
also makes me sick because we never got round to doing "it".it would have been r first time for both of us and I was her first boyfriend.so I feel sick at the fact that they probly have r have wen I was with her.



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My nephews 20 year old father committed suicide just 5 hours ago. He felt so alone and hopeless that he hung himself in his aunts basement. Now i didn’t hate him but because of some words we had had between us i had said and done some mean things to him since than, such as making him sit outside to visit his son because i was angry with him and didn’t want him in my house, or making him feel unwelcome when i did let him stay with me because he had no place else to stay. But i did still care about him i was just angry and this was my petty way of showing it i guess.This was awhile back and me and him haven’t even spoken since last christmas where we were very civil to each other because i was over being angry by than. However now the guilt is overriding me i have cried so much my face is raw because he has had such a hard life he really did as a child he was abused, molested, bounced through foster home to foster home. And as an adult he has struggled with drugs, trouble, and mental illness, i just keep seeing him and imagining how alone he must have felt, and i feel i am one of the reasons he felt so unwanted and unloved in this world that he didn’t want to live in it anymore. I know that isn’t realistic with all the other stuff he has had happen to him but i just want to take it all back and tell him how sorry i am and that he is cared about and its too late and its killing me.He was only 20 years old and he felt so unwanted and hopeless that he endured the suffering of hanging for 45 minutes before he was found, i cant get that image out of my head it will haunt me forever. How do i at least let go of enough of the guilt that i can move on enough to cope? I am a single mom of four kids and i have really not been all that much good to them since i heard the news cuz i cant stop crying for more than 5 minutes at a time. I think i have post partum on top of this and i’m just a real mess right now as you can probably tell. I wish i could just go back 5 hours and call him and tell him he’s not alone, i know what it feels like to feel all alone and i wish i hadn’t let him feel that way
Jessi thank you we did try so much to help him when he first entered our family but it seemed like he always fell back down. I guess he had just been damaged too much by the time he got to us. There were some pretty bad things done that led me to act the way i did to him but now that he’s gone it just feels insignificant and petty and although i know the few things i did that happened almost 2 years ago were probably the last thing on his mind as i said im a single mom of 4 so i know what its like to feel so alone and hopeless and i just wish i hadn’t done anything to make him feel that way if i did. i wish i could apologize and tell him he was still loved and cared for regardless of what he had done wrong. It probably wouldn’t have changed the outcome with everything he has been through but it would have eased my soul a little. The guilt is a big burden an i will never let my babies go to bed without telling them how much i love ever again. thank you for your kind words and prayers
Josh wherever you are i hope you are no longer hurting and are finally at peace like you could never be here on earth. Forgive me if i ever did or said anything to make you feel unloved or unwanted because you were loved and wanted and you will be missed more than you would have believed. I wish someone would have helped you when you were little before you had to go through what you did than maybe things would have been different and my nephew would still have his daddy. I miss you i hope your suffering has ended finally, i’m so sorry we couldn’t give you whatever it was you needed :(


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I am a step mom (or soon to be) of a wonderful 2 and a half year old little girl. My boyfriend and I have been together now for a year and a half. My boyfriend and his ex wife separated when the baby was only a few months old, (no I was not the reason) at that time the ex wife took advantage of the fact that he felt guilt for the marriage failing and that he didn’t know that he could’ve stopped her and she moved out of state back to her hometown, half way across the country. This will be a second marriage for both of us, we’ve known each other since we were kids… at any rate, his ex wife kept their daughter in her homestate and wouldn’t allow visitation to him or his family unless they flew out to see her, which he did several times. When he and I first started dating I didn’t know the specifics of their divorce or their previous agreements so I kept my mouth shut and stayed out of it. He flew out there every 6 weeks to spend anywhere from 5-7 days with her, which ended up being only two days at a time. His ex would let him keep their dauhter for more than two days and then would make him bring her back to her and then he could keep her for another two days before he left… which to me is BS since your making him go all that way and he isnt getting to spend the quality time with her that he was looking to or that she told him he could, but again I kept my mouth shut.
Now over the past year I have given him some advice. I got him to speak up to her and request that she or he be allowed to bring their daughter back here for visitation for him and his family, mind you the family and her (the ex) don’t get along at all, so his parents didn’t see their only grandchild for almost a year, which really bothers me, coming from a tight knit family. I told him I thought he should seek out custody arrangements with an attorney to have the courts appoint visitation so that he is guaranteed to get his time with her, which he has done, we are still waiting on the courts though. Meanwhile, since he has pursued an attorney the ex wife is allowing their daughter to come and stay with us for a few weeks every few months, which is great!
My dilema is that his ex wife doesn’t see me as anything but just a girlfriend. Yes if you want to be technical I am… BUT at the same time, I am going to be marrying her ex and be their daughters step mom, so I will be a major part of their daughters life. I know I don’t have the right to make life decisions on their daughters behalf, But I am the one who she spends a lot of time (which I am grateful for) with if he gets stuck working when she is here, he works shifts and he cant always get the time off he requests (since he is low man at his job and my job is very flexible with time off I take as much time as we need for her). How do I get his ex-wife to start including me in travel plans and such? Or even recognizing that I am here to stay and I am not going anywhere so she has to deal with me as well! When their daughter is here, we follow ALL of the same rules her mother has for her at her house, bed times, nap times, snack times, dinner times etc., even down to the time outs if she misbehaves (as much as we hate to) we want this transition from our house to hers to be as easy as possible and want her to know that different houses doesn’t mean there are different rules! I also want her to know about the things I try to do or have done with her when she is here, so that she doesn’t feel like an outsider. Is there I way that I can try to develop some type of relationship with my future husbands ex, that is healthy and open as opposed to it being a resentful and painstaking relationship?
Sorry this is a little long winded, I am trying to give you all a background on the relationship as it is now… feel free to ask questions
Thank you for your responses… and any additional info you can offer me is extremely helpful also!
Lovin_Life… I do not think you are too young at all, in fact I think it is great that you responded because it opens my eyes to the other side, the kid side and I love that! As adults we sometimes lose sight of how the child feels and that isnt right. We need to include them every step of the way, which is what I try to do with her when she is here, even though she is so young, I think when she gets older she will appreciate that more!
THANK YOU
and to Domi E thank you for your honesty, I held my breathe posting this b/c I was prepared for someone to bash me telling me I need to know my roll and back out of the childs life or something similar, since I read other Step Parenting questions prior to posting this one.
Thank you!


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I was a late bloomer, and new even younger I was inquisitive, adventurous yet cautious and no where near ready to get married, in addition when I was 35 I had the blessed opportunity to have my aging mom come & agree to live with me & became the best friends we had ever been, & I was able to return the help, love and loyalty she gave me as a kid and on. I met a man two years later, after she passed, very laid back but friendly (German) and I am Greek. He was a polite slow starter to our friendship, had been married 25 years and wife left after last kid left the house. Later I found out she also expressed what was wrong, and by the time we met two year after their divorce, she was making attempts to declare interest again..maybe from guilt, maybe from second guessing her decision, conscience, or just making sure she did the right thing. By this time my husband had made a decision as we were progressing that I was the one he wanted to pursue.. So he did and in time after not much responding to her as I said to him her interruptions were unwelcome, either tell her you are seeing someone, it’s too late, and stop or I told him go and try again and be sure. Hence we are married. He really pushed to be married fairly soon. He did everything right that I saw and was responsible. He didn’t want to wait. I lost my head. He wooed me, dined me, called me, couldn’t keep his attentions or (later) stop from kissing and holding me, and even when I asked for us to slow the physical down he did so without hesitation until we married. He is a good man. The day we married HOWEVER and forward he (I believe got suddenly confused) I guess. We just married in a church, two witnesses and that’s it. I was disappointed he wanted no wedding or never considered it would be special and a welcome memory for me to make an effort to have something more special, but he was in such a hurry.. and said he had the "big wedding" and were were both older and it costs money (I agreed), so we didn’t. I would be okay today with this if all had not changed the day we married. We had 5 minute s-x and went to Cracker Barrell for lunch. He was cold. His family was upset, though they and we are fine now, he was unhappy, he would not touch me and I was lucky to see 5 minute s-x once a month, I asked him two weeks into the marriage waht’s going on and that I needed him.. he said absolutely nothing and left for work. Time would lapse and he wouldn’t notice, I had addressed it many times and that one of the things that drew me two him was when I asked what he wanted out of his marriage if done again.. he said someone who likes to have s-x AND communication. To date he rarely does either. Two months into it I told him clearly I noticed and asked if he did, & he clammed up. Later I asked him most difficult questions -
If he was happy; he shook his head no; If he wanted to be married – he shook no; If her wanted to be
married to me – shook no; If he wanted to be married to me the next 30 years – shook no; If he loved or was in love with me – he shook no. It was 2 am when I asked those tough questions – tough for me to ask and tough for me to hear. Since, then he thought I would surely throw him out. I did not. He said he didn’t know why he felt that way but thought of me as a sister and didn’t have s–x—l feeling at that time and asked me to give him time. I did. We are good friends, we joke,I love him, take care of him – one of the things he did though for months early in this short year though, was point out all the things we didn’t have in common. In sort of a poking sarcastic way. Though I asked him later on to stop and he did, the lack of passion that was missing has taken a toll on me. It sunk in after awhile and really hurt me. I kind of had a delayed reaction to how he initially felt. We both believe in Jesus, and am sure that is what glues us at this point. He has never acted like he is in love with me since we dated, and changed "the day of marriage". It feels horrible. I asked him if he was just staying because he didn’t want another failed marriage, or just wants a companion, or why?
He said he loves me was his answer, but I have not seen one passionate romantic gesture or outing where he clearly means physical busniess. I used to have to ask and initiate sex and told him later on I do not want to anymore, but it is hard, and now I have lost so much interest. He doesn’t have his hands on me and want me like he used to during dating, it isn’t like he always was this way. He was respectful but very different. I have mentioned 3 or 4 times this year.. that I need physical affection and to see and hear he wants me and show it, He has become so reserved and mechanical when we are together. He tries. I can tell, but something is stopping him. He has relaxed much and we joke and eat out. I am the same weight I was when we dated and married.
I tell him I love him he tells me, but all the sexy texts and passion left – WHERE DI IT GO? He won’t open up


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