He says he loves me but he can’t do a Long Distance Relationship? Please help.?

Hiya. Um, bit of a long story.

Basically, I met this guy online back in about…March 2008? He owns this forum and we didn’t talk very much until it was his birthday in June, I made him a youtube vid just saying "Happy birthday =D" and stuff, I didn’t really think anything of it until he commented on it and said that I looked nice and thankyou very much. I don’t know what happened but I suddenly found myself blushing like mad. As the days went on, I became more and more attached to him, I don’t know how it happened, but I couldn’t stop thinking about him and suddenly found myself falling in love. I *knew* it was love as I hadn’t felt as strong as this about my previous relationships. I asked him if he would like to meet up at the end of July and he came down here for the day. He lives in London and I live in Peterborough. The train Journey isn’t too bad, it’s just that it costs alot. I’m having my driving test soon so hopefully I can pass that and it would cut down on having to use public transport.
Anyway…When he came down, we just clicked, everything was PERFECT. His kisses were the best and he had such nice hugs. We had a chat about whether to move into a relationship but he sad "I’d love to ask you out but I’m not sure…" He’d previously been in a LDR with a girl who lives in America, they never met but it ended with a bit of a bang because of the distance. I feel that from what he has told me about his previous LDRs has knocked his confidence in them. I have had quite a lot of LDRs myself, except for my last one. I tend to feel quite comfortable with LDRs because it’s really exciting going to see someone after a time.
Anyway, he also wanted to keep what we had secret online. He didn’t want his ex to find out who is also on the forum we talk on, he thought that it would hurt her so I was like "Fair enough" even though it hurt me so much. But, I was happy that I could still act like a couple with him, even if it was secret.
However, this weekend, I went to a convention in London to meet up with him for the second time, and I met with some forum friends aswell. It was really good and I was allowed to stay at his house over night and travel back home on sunday.
When we were at his, we began acting like a couple again and were kissing but then he paused to say something like "I’m not sure whether to go any further" and I replied "Whatever you want, I want". He said he would like to stop and I accepted that (he is a Christian, so, his thoughts on intimacy are slightly different to mine). But then we went into a very detailed and in-depth discussion about us. We started talking about school and what comes after that. We have this year left at school and then he goes off to University, I am not going myself. He said after Uni he has another course in order to get the career he wants. He also said "apparently you find the one at University". And I have to admit, when Uni comes into the picture, most LDRs break apart, it happened to my brother.
Anyway, he said he wasn’t sure about us dating because he will be in education for so long and it would take a while for us to be able to move to the same location together. He went on to explain I was worth everything and I was too good for him but because of Uni and the distance, we should move on. That included stopping the kissing and intimacy when together and also how we act online together. This broke my heart, I was fine hanging onto what we had even though it was secret…he said that we were neither commited nor non commited which I agreed with, but I don’t want to look for anyone else, I want to wait for him…am I sounding too desperate? I truely would do *ANYTHING* to have him. I even went to Church with him and his family in the morning. It actually taught me a good lesson, but I won’t go into that.

I need some advice, please can you help me? It’s tearing me apart. It all feels like a bad dream. When I’m with him, I just feel so happy, we get on so well like we’ve known each other 5 years even though we’ve met twice.

Thanks,

Kat xox



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How do I turn my ex back from being lesbian/gay to bi?

Me and my girlfriend dated of and on over the course of a year and a half. We lost our virginity to each other, we never fought, and although we had a rough start due to me leaving at the end of the year for college, we made it work and we were happy. Until I left. My girlfriend was bi, and although I believe she tried not to be very open about it, I still knew. She had had many bad experiences with guys before, (ie. molestation, and other mental abuse) but I was a caring guy, and we shared a deep trust in one another. We even expressed thoughts about where we hoped our relationship would head in the future (marriage, kids, being highschool sweethearts, etc) . After I left for college, she remained in highschool and got a job, and there, over the course of about 3 months she was sexually harassed by a manager there. Being far away, I couldn’t do anything but give her advice to tell someone, which she never followed. The few times I came home, physical things became less enjoyable for her, and she showed signs of distance emotionally. She stopped opening up to me, and then when I left again for college after winter break, she broke up with me for a girl that had been hitting on her for months. It didn’t end well (I overreacted and told her mom, which I regret to this day, and will for the rest of my life), and we stopped talking for a month. Since then her new relationship has had the opportunity to grow to where she enjoys the physical aspect of girls, and says she’ll never date a guy again. After I apologized to her for my actions however, she answered back about how she sometimes regrets her decision and such. Which I do believe isn’t normal. (seeing how if she only likes girls and not guys, she wouldn’t regret it) I’m still head over heels in love with her, and I feel like if the harassment and molestation at her work hadn’t separated us physically, and the distance hadn’t separated us emotionally, we’d still be together. She however, is very stubborn(even she admits) and won’t give in to even the possibility of liking guys again ever.

I’m a very patient guy, and wouldn’t have sex with her for years if it meant being with her. Is there any way to win her back? She shows signs of not being over me, by trying to make a relationship with this new girl, as deep as the one she had with me, and I really can’t help thinking that if I put in enough effort, that if they split up ever, I’d be able to comfort her. How do I get her to open up to me/guys again? And is it even possible unless im physically home to help her through it?
btw, i do not want any anti-gay spam for answers. nor do i want any close minded answers. i realize that if you are born gay/lesbian, thats the way things are. but hopefully you all realize the possibility that a scarring experience with the opposite sex can indeed affect your sexuality. im straight and ik that the experience she went through would possibly have turned me too. so once again, please keep it to intellectual, open minded responses.


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2 years of dating now, i'm dating his roomate. Feelings are confused. How do you deal with your ex coming back

So, I dated Ben for 2 years, fell in love, which wasn’t hard considering I was getting over a horrible guy. This guy seemed perfect. A year in and we were still together, never fought, never seems to bicker about anything. A year and a half in.. I realized we hadn’t talked about a future together.. or a future at all. We are both old enough to begin to at least think about this, and yet.. we hadn’t. Around 2 years, Ben breaks it to me that he doesn’t know if this is it, he doesn’t know if this is “true love.” Ben had never been in a relationship before me, other than a few dates here and there, and I, well lets just say I’ve had my share of emotional connections. Ben was my 2-3 long term boyfriend and I felt with him what I felt with no other(and still, but we’ll get to that in a minute). I remember with Ben I never thought anything about another person, I never felt the need to think about another person, I was just.. as I like to put it: where I wanted to be. So the break-up happened and I made myself take a second look around. Maybe what I’d felt wasn’t love, maybe it was just what I could get at the time, maybe I could find more than “where I wanted to be.”
James and Ben were roommates for about a year. James was one of the sweetest guys I’d ever met(still to this day is). We’d always been friendly, yet I saw him in a different light, maybe it was a feeling, or maybe it was anger running though my veins to my ex. I felt as though it was a strong suggestion to at least try. James and I began dating soon after, he even asked his roommate(my ex) if this was okay. My roommate replied “I’ve seen how you to get along, it’s obvious it could be a good thing.. sure.” We’ve been dating for 3 months, and it has been a rocky time between our friends and my ex. James and I seem to not hang around them as much anymore, in fear that we might disturb peace between the “group.”
1-2 months into the relationship with James.. my ex discovers what happened was not what he wants now. He questions his decision to break up with me and starts a quick plan to win me back, I push away and take this as a “you’re an ex for a reason” type deal. I stop talking to him and tell myself this new relationship is everything I’ve wanted from Ben, only with someone else. Well, now, 3 months in.. I miss Ben. I think about him, and I pray he doesn’t move on.. because I feel like I haven’t fully recovered, nor that I may not. I love my new boyfriend, I feel things for him I can describe, but I love Ben, I feel things for him I CAN’T describe. Maybe it was my quick rebound relationship, or maybe… just maybe there was a reason for all this and the reason was to make it work with Ben. …I don’t know what my question is, I just need advice
Ben broke up with me because "he didn’t know if it was true love" since it was his first "love." He was confused.


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How can I tell my friend I like him?

Okay, so this story’s a little complex and dramatic. Last year, I’m in seventh grade, and I meet this guy. He’s a little weird looking, bad haircut, weird clothes, and not all that popular. I mean, people in his elementary school loved him, he just hadn’t built up a reputation yet. We instantly become friends, except online, because we like never saw each other in person. His name’s Jack. At the same time, I meet this girl named Lindsey. We talked in person and online, and she became one of my best friends. Jack was definitely my best guy friend at that point, and Lindsey my second best girl friend. I fall for the guy. I’m a little embarrassed about it, so I don’t tell anyone. Not even my best friend of four years. Best friend in the world. Never fought, no secrets, talk every day, sleepover every day that’s not a school night, live at her house over the summer kind of best friend. Then I find out Lindsey and Jack dated like, all elementary school. Doesn’t matter to me, I figure it’s over. And then me and Jack have our little romance, where we flirt a lot but subtly, and get to know each other. Hug in the hallways. Pretty adorable, right? And then like, Lindsey starts liking him after he tells me he likes me. And I’m still pretending I’m only thinking about liking him. Me and Lindsey both ask him out at the same time to get him to choose. He decides he’s not going to ask either of us out for a while, but he likes me. He told me and everything. Finally, he asks me out. Me and Lindsey got in a fight over him like a week before, and we kept arguing and being pretty mean to each other. I told you, this story’s painful. Anyway, he finally asks me out. I’m happy. A little embarrassed to be dating him, but I figured I’d get over it. So when I tell Lindsey, she barely tries to put on a brave face. I can tell how pissed she is, and this whole thing was through a computer screen. I break up with him after like ten minutes, because her friendship means so much to me. I never would’ve done it if I hadn’t thought we’d end up together at some point. The next week, after some serious talking him into it, he asks her out. They last until about January. That was in November, by the way. He dates this girl Kennedy a few months later, and I’m pissed. I love him, why wouldn’t I be. I like her, but I don’t like them together. So yeah, we pretty much go downhill from there, talking less and less. In May, I talked to him after who knows how many weeks of silence, and he told me I was too high maintenance. ( I may or may not have been seriously annoying for those few weeks. Don’t know why. I just did. ) We hung out a few ttimes over the summer with a bunch of other people, but we fought everytime we talked online. Meanwhile, I’m still in love of him. Me and Lindsey became friends right after him and her got together in November. And now, we’re friends again. Me and Lindsey walked up to his house on Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday and hung out with him all day on the last two days. We talk in the halls, online, all of it. He’s not embarrassed to be my friend anymore (he was, because his friends hated me. Now I’m friends with all of his friends and I guess I’m kind of popular, so he’s not embarrassed at all. Like, it’s hard, in middle school, not to care about popularity. he hates when people hate him. So he tries to make everyone happy. He likes me now.) It’s amazing. He’s so much hotter now, and has so many friends, I’m not embarrassed at all to date him and I feel really shallow that I ever was. And I really want to tell him I like him. Before Lindsey does, who’s in love with him too. It’s my turn. He’s mine now. I still love her, but like, I dont know. I have to have a chance at this. She dumped him. It’s her fault. I was just wondering, how should I tell him? Like, how can I go over by myself (we can walk from her house, not mine though), like ask and have him say yes, and then make it work so it’s a perfect time to tell him? I want to kiss him after I say it. I’ve been saving my first kiss for a year. I’ve been in so many different situations where I could’ve kissed someone but didn’t, because that’s supposed to be Jack. Help me, I’m usually good with this kind of stuff, but it’s really important I dont mess this up. If you read all of this, I love you forever.


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what do you think of my story?

here is an excerpt from the book. i know it wont make a lot of sense if you just jump in to it so here is a little background.
setting: mideval type of setting w/ fantasy
characters:
annabel mavis: helps prince vincent on mission and is very independent. wants to be something more then just a servent like her mother and wants to see the world.

prince vincent: a prince who has just lost his father becuase of the war going on and has sworn to kill the man who killed his father (bad guys name is daken wraith). will do anytihng to kill him and doesnt fully un derstand how much he truly needs annabel (even if he doesnt want to except it). his true misson is to end the war between his kingdom and a few other agianst dakin wraith and his army of traitors.

Fran: one of the last shifters in the lands. as a shifter she is wanted by many for her shapshifting powers. fran wants to help vincent and annabel but annabel doesnt fully trust her untill fran tells her a very important deep secret.

what happened right before this:
vincent and annabel get into a fight becuase vincents ego gets in the way and annabel is fed up. fran ,annabel, and vincent part and go seprate ways. fran and annabel stay together and end up getting caught. annabel knows that vincent is not around to help and that it is up to her to save fran and herself because fran was taken over by a drak spirit with dark magic.

(annabel narrating whats going on.)
I felt my heart pounding in my chest ready to jump out my throat. I took in a shaky breath hoping that my capturers wouldn’t hear my unsteady heart. Vincent was my only other source of help seeing has how fans body was being taken over at the moment. I should have never left you Vincent I mumbled to myself. My feeling of defeat slowly started to turn into anger at everyone. If Vincent hadn’t of been so… so… horrible I wouldn’t be in this mess. It was his fault I was all tied up like this not mine. Here I was about to be killed or worse and he was nowhere in sight. I started to come off my anger high just as soon as I came upon it. It wasn’t Vincent’s fault it wasn’t anyone’s fault but my own. It was my own doing that I was here. If I had only done what I was supposed to and guided Vincent and aided him on his journey this would not be happening. I am not going to let them do anything to me. I thought quietly in my head. I am just as strong as anyone else. Even if I had no help and had messed up big time I wouldn’t let myself just give up. “you won’t’ get away with this.” I spat out my voice more menacing and stronger than I thought it would be.
“We’ll see about that.” Zenthyia said in a tone that made me want to kick her. Hard… “Fran ….” I shouted shifting my attention to her “your stronger than this don’t let this wench fool you. Fight Fran fight please.” I then felt a startling blow to the back of my head and slumped down in the chair I was tied to. Falling and fading into a darkness that went on forever.

When I awoke I was hanging from shackles nailed in to the uneven bumpy wall that was behind me. The shackles were digging into my skin my wrists and ankles sore and bleeding. I struggled trying to not give up and to get away.” There’s no use in doing that. You’re only making yourself weaker.” Fran said coming out of the shadows. How long had she been there? How long had I been unconscious? Where was Vincent.” Fran.” I pleaded, and I dint like to plead.” Please let me go. You don’t know what you’re doing. Be strong Fran fight this creature that possesses you I know you can. I believe in you. Vincent’s counting on you I’m counting on you.” I said forcing back my tears as my voice cracked.
“Fran isn’t here right now. And If I were you I wouldn’t count on her ever coming back.” For a moment I forgot who I was talking to and tried to kick the demon that possessed Frans body.
“I don’t think that was a really wise thing to do, Do you?” she said taking a step back. I spat at her and got her right in the face.
“I think we should teach you a little lesson on how to be kind to your hosts and friends.”
“You are no friend of mine I said to her wanting to kick her and not miss. “Besides hurting me will result in you hurting your friend.” I thought this thought over and realized that it was true, no matter how badly I wanted to kick the person inside, and that I would have to think about my actions more carefully. But a little spit couldn’t hurt right? I bowed my head I wanted to give the illusion that I had given up. Maybe this way I could catch her off guard. She knew my trick all too well and didn’t turn around or take her eyes off of me once. It was frustrating. If I only I hadn’t of been so stupid. There was a terrific crash from the room above and it made Fran loose her focus on me for only a moment. That moment was all I needed. All it took was Fran standing too close and my leg kicking her in just the right way. That the keys flew off of her belt and would you believe my
3 m


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