I broke up with him around this time last year. We had been going out for 2 in a half years and I spontaneously decided to end it all because at that point in my life I didn’t want to be attached. I was 18 years old and starting college, a new job, and viewed my ex as un ambitious. All he would ever do is want to stay home and be with me, never really going out to hang with friends, and feeling down on himself for having the job he had. He was a wonderful artist and I tried to be a supportive and encouraging girlfriend by telling him to pursue a career in the field. Yet lack of funds was the reason he said he couldn’t live out his dream. I tried accepting this but found that I might be growing out of him. I also wanted to experience other relationships since he had been my first, and though I loved him I found myself growing more detached. Spending less and less time with him even though he kept reaching out. I broke his heart and he eventually gave me back everything that was ours to cope with the break up, cutting me out completely. At that time this didn’t faze me. He came to my door step with the box and I could care less. I felt relieved, or so I thought. We didn’t talk much for 8 months, maybe passing one another since my little brother and he were such great pals and didn’t let our break up end their friendship. Eventually after working and going to school nonstop, boys being the last thing on my mind the summer hits. I find myself infatuated like I once was with my ex on a new guy. He’s a graphic designer and aspiring filmmaker, extremely driven and confident. All I can do is think about him. He seems to me to be the next best thing. Eventually we hang out (not an official date I had no idea what his intentions were, he was very hard to read) with a few of his friends and I find him to be the most obnoxious individual. He practically ignored me the whole time while being an entertainer to his audience; he thrived off of the attention I could tell. One of two questions I can remember being:

"What do you want to do with your life?"

This was such a turn off; a mutual feeling I later find out. He thought I was too quiet and smelled of tuna! I hate tuna. We go on to not talk for two months, and yet even then I didn’t think of my ex. Eventually The new guy starts to talk to me again and even though I was so disgusted by his previous behavior I still find myself immensely sexually attracted to him. That’s all I wanted from him. Funny thing is he was looking for a girlfriend and found a way of convincing me to be with him otherwise. I figured ok I like this guy why not give it a shot? From then on it has been a rollercoaster. Nothing like when I was with my ex. One day this blokes happy with me the next he’s unsure about our relationship. So eventually I end up feeling lonely within my own relationship because I don’t feel good about it. Where did all my confidence go? Sure I may have felt inhibited because he’d ask me "why are you so shy?" "I wish you’d contribute more to the conversation." I have never felt so much pressure in a relationship. Like if I don’t please, I can be dropped at any given time. So for the time being I had been unhappy, yet the messing around was great. What a trade off, not worth it at all when I look at it, but within the moment it’s a whole other game. All I could think about was how to sort the issues in my head over this relationship in a mature manner. Work out all the small things and focused on what we have that’s great. All I could think of was our similar tastes in music, movies, and fooling around. Sure we had conversations but for the most part they were short and the fooling around was to the point not long after. Than he’d tell me I got to get back to story boarding birdbrain. I’d be there reading a book instead of getting to know anything about him. My excuse was that he’s really trying to get this short film done before Sundance, don’t worry about it. And eventually things did turn around with a few hiccups, but on a trip back from Ohio I found out that my ex was going out with a new girl and the last thing that has been on my mind for the past month isn’t my new boyfriend. My brother disclosed to me some information that my ex was going out with a girl that we formerly couldn’t stand. When we were together we would actually make fun of her amongst ourselves. She was just such a typical high school girl. Going out to parties all the time, drinking, taking in controlled substances, bisexual one minute, straight the next. She was a total nut. Now he is with her. I really needed someone to talk too when hearing all this. So I wrote an email to a mutual friend of ours who still hung out with him. And I explained everything to her. It than finally hit me that he had moved on. Though I was in my own relationship (not much of one actually) I still had this terrible pain in my stomach thinking that he’s with her of all people. I didn’t care if she told anybody (we we

Technorati Tags: 18 years, Audience, Depressive State, ex boyfriend, ex girlfriend, friendship, girlfriend, graphic designer, half years, heart, job, last thing on my mind, little brother, new girlfriend, new job, pals, relationships, stay home, whole time

My girlfriend left me for her ex!?
met her ten years ago. we hit it off. her ex had dumped her for another prior to that. they had been together for 6 months i think but friends for a few years before that. anyway – she and i went out for a year in 2000. then she dumps me for some stupid woman. i let her go.
didnt talk to her for about 3 and a half years. she calls me. we patch things up. we lived together for the last 5 years. 2005 to last week.
then she dumps me for her EX GIRLFRIEND who initially dumped her ten years ago! arrrghgh! are you kidding me?! i moved out quickly and told her to go to hell as any self respecting woman would have. lololo sad thing is this girl will just dump her AGAIN and i told her that as i was leaving. we are in our early 40’s.
what the hell is wrong with these women!!! oh – and this ex dumped her girlfriend at the same time as mine dumped me so they can be together – yet wont move out of her girlfriends house. she makes good money. so no excuse.
i think its pathetic. really bad thing is i know beyond a doubt my girlfriend will call me one day – when this woman dumps her *** yet again. how do you prepare yourself not to get sucked back in – even though you love them still?

Technorati Tags: Doubt, Dumps, ex girlfriend, excuse, half years, hell, Met, money, sad thing, stupid woman, Wont Move

I have been married for 8 months, been with him for 2 and a half years. Our marriage has turned into a legal friendship. I have had 3 serious relationship talks with him in the past 2 months. Here are the problems. One is that he is on Lexapro, has been for over a year. The side effects are that they lose interest in sex. I excepted that at first, but we haven’t had sex since November. I told him to talk to his doctor about another med and he has seen his doctor twice since I said that and he has done nothing about it. The other thing is that he doesn’t want to do anything together anymore. He does not like my friends for whatever reason, doesn’t even try to get to know them. He does not want to go out with me and my friends even though he is invited every time. Even with out friends, he does not want to do anything. I go out, but I feel like I am married living a celibate singles life. The first talk I had with him, I was nice, trying not to hurt his feelings, I just said we need to do more things together, there are things we can do that don’t cost money, even play a game of cards or something at home. He said he understood and everything was fine, but then he did nothing to change. The second time I talked to him, I was a little more blunt, I told him that I feel that we are friends who kiss once in awhile and he agreed that he thinks we have turned into roommates. I suggested marriage counseling so that our marriage won’t get worse, and he seemed ok with it. Still, he has done nothing to change. The third time I talked to him, I didn’t hold anything back.
I told him how I feel lonely, how I feel like I have one life with him in our house and then another life with me out in the rest of the world. I told him that I feel like we lost it, he doesn’t feel that way. He feels things are fine. I told him that he feels things are ok, me here at the house cleaning and cooking dinner and that he has me to come home to. I feel that something is wrong, that I want to get back the passion we once had. He really had nothing to say to me when I was talking, he felt bad because he started to cry, but that was it. Still, no changes! My mom and my friend say that I might have to be the one to say let’s go do this or that, be the one to hook up with a counselor, basically be the one who carries this marriage. I don’t want to have to do that ALL the time. I want him to show some input, show that he cares. When we were first together, things were great. Then he went on that med and our sex life went to hell, and then after marriage, he just totally changed. I know that he loves me to death, he is never mean to me, but it feels like he is content with what we have now, we don’t even hold each other anymore. What else is there for me to do? Should I mentally have a time frame to give him before I say that’s it?
As of now, I don’t see myself leaving him, but I need to feel wanted, ya know? Any suggestions, thanks so much!
I am not ready to give up on the marriage, as the question is, what else can I do to save it and that I don’t see myself leaving him right now. I am in my late 30’s by the way and I know what marriage is.

Technorati Tags: celibate, feelings, friendship, game of cards, half years, lexapro, marriage, marriage counseling, money, rest of the world, roommates, second time, serious relationship, Sex, third time

My wife has just left me for her ex. They were together for 7 years and have 2 children. Me and her JUST got married. We been together for about one and a half years. She had her kids calling me daddy. He has been a dead beat father to them. He’s hit them, neglected them on his weekends, and not payed any child support. I am in the Marines. He has nothing to offer her. Yeah me and her had problems but nothing to big to work a marriage. She has done this before and left me but came back to me. But last time she left me for another Marine and he just wanted her for one thing. I’m hurting now. She has always said how she will never go back to him. He is a dead beat and has absolutely nothing to offer her. He even still lives with Mommy at 26. What should I do? She even went as far as serving me for divorce. I posted this question earlier and got alot of "just leave hers" yes I know! But I want to know if she’ll come back to me. What do I do to get her back to me? I know she loves me and I know she’s confused. WHAT DO I DO? Any marriage can be saved!!!

Technorati Tags: child support, dead beat, divorce, half years, last time, marines, marriage, Mommy

I met my ex about 2 and a half years ago. We got along great for a while than I just started suspected things were going on behind my back. He wouldnt take me around any of his friends for about 7 months and when he finally did a girl that I had always been suspicious of who he told me was "just a friend" was very rude to me. I got upset and just had a feeling like something happened. He continued to talk to this girl and even went on trips with her and others. He kept telling me that he never did anything with her and if I couldnt trust him I shouldnt be with him. I let it go well tried my hardest atleast though it always bothered me. A while later we seemed to be doing much better. I was living with my mom as I am a single mother of two kids. He came to spend the summer with me and we lived together at my moms (He lived about an hour away). Things went pretty well while we were staying there and he got me an engagement ring and we got our own place down his way. We had been living together for only a couple of months when he told me that he didnt want to be with me anymore that I am too controlling and that I didnt treat him like a human being. We still lived together and ended up getting back together. Things were going good again for a while and he stopped talking to most other girls that I ever had suspicions of. He got me a new engaement ring for Valentines day this year and surprised me with a bear he had delivered. We got into a fight about a month later because he went out all night and didnt come home til the next day. It’s not that I didnt trust him, I really dont think he was doing anything except drinking with the guys but ive always told him that I dont care if he goes out but we have a family and he should be home at night. In a rage of fury I packed some of his stuff and told him that if he didnt love me to go. He told me he loved me more than anything in this world and didnt want to leave. I had a class the next morning and when I came home he had all the rest of his stuff packed and moved out. He was still coming for dinner once a week and than one day he said maybe we should start dating again and we took the kids to the movies. People started telling me things he was saying behind my back, that I took advantage of him and that he took care of my kids (he watched them while I worked, not for anything else) and that he wasnt going to get back with me that i just kept nagging him. I called him and asked him and he yelled at my that it’s a bunch of high school bs and hung up on me. I told him to get the rest of his stuff out of the house and to just let me alon that I couldnt play the games anymore. It’s been about 2 weeks now and I havent heard a word from him. I sent him a picture of my ultrasound (turns out Im 9 weeks preg) and he told me that it wasnt his and Im not really preg. He talked to the kids on Easter but he wont speak to me. He told my sister that there is no chance of us ever getting back together and that when the baby is born he will take care of it but besides that he wants nothing to do with me. Also it came out that he was seeing that other girl when we first got together. I was the longest relationship he was ever in, the first girl he ever said I love you to and the only person he’s ever lived with. He still has some of his belongings here and also the cable and water bills are in his name. I’m just so torn on how you can give someone a ring one week and decide your done the next. He is moving four hours away in about a month and I am afraid I am going to lose him forever. I gave up everything to move down here and be with him, my family, friends and job. Is there anything I can do to make him want to come back home?

Technorati Tags: 7 months, anything in this world, atleast, engagement ring, girls, half years, Met, mom, moms, next morning, rage, single mother, suspicions

My ex boyfriend and I dated for 2 in a half years. We have been broken up for almost 9 or 10 months now. We weren’t on the best of terms with each other, we were okay, but we would occasionally hook up. We actually did 3 days ago, and now I just found out him and this girl are going out now. (im guessing he wanted to do stuff with me for one last time) I knew they were talking and hanging out but I didn’t think he would end up dating her because he talked to other girls before that. My ex and I will always have feelings for each other, how could you not after 2 in a half years?! I haven’t texted my ex or anything about it. In fact we never really texted each other unless it was to hook up. I am friends with most of his guy friends so sometimes I do see him.

So it’s been 9 or 10 months since we broke up and now he has a girlfriend. I am still so in love with him, and would die to have him back in my arms. Is there any advice you could give me! Im sure now that he is in a relationship he wont even talk to me anymore….so how can I get him to come back to me?!

Technorati Tags: 10 months, ex boyfriend, feelings, girlfriend, girls, guy friends, half years, Hook Up, last time, love, relationship, texted

He has a baby with another girl and he refuses to let me meet his baby. We have talked about it and he doesnt want anymore drama. He wants to marry me and have kids with me, but I just cant see him as the father of my future children. I love him, but I dont think I want to be with him forever, what do I do? Should I break up? or should I continue living with him?

Technorati Tags: break, future children, half years, love

I cheated because he neglected me to spend more time with his friends (all girls), i got jealous. he left me and doesnt want me back. says he needs space. but im worried that too much space will lead to him moving on? we were together for two and a half years. please help. i realy love him and made a mistake. i know he still loves me too.

Technorati Tags: girls, half years, Lead, love, mistake, Moving, Realy, two and a half years

cut along story short we were together for 2 and a half years..and she would always say she loves me etc…and even talked of a family etc…when she split from me she said i know it sounds sad jeff but i can see myself marrying you when im older….and she even said to one of her best mates that when she is ready to settle Down i would be the one she wants…im 20 she is 18 im her first love..and relationship…does anybody no wats going on? havent heard from her in month now either..

Technorati Tags: ex girlfriend, first love, half years, love, mates, relationship, wats

about a month ago me and my boyfriend got into a really big fight, i ended up doing something i shouldn’t have done. i tried to help with something he wanted to do on his own, and the only way he thinks he can get closure is by breaking up with me. we had been going out for 2 and a half years and broke up while we were apart in a long distance relationship. he comes back in a week and i want to find a way to get him back, we were so good together and i can’t just not try.i have written him a letter about how i feel and all our good times that we have had and plan to give it to him next time i see him. any help would be good. thanks.
we broke up because i tried to help with a problem he had with one of my friends and he says that i helped to late. and h wanted to do it himself seeing that i had taken so long.

Technorati Tags: closure, Distance Relationship, good times, half years, long distance relationship

So i’ve been dating this girl on and off for about a year and a half. Well we’ve gotten more and more serious over the last couple of months and i love her to death. I have every intention on spending the rest of my life with her, and she feels the same way. She’s so good in showing me she loves me and we’ve just been doing really great lately. The problem for me is, she has an ex-girlfriend of about 2 and a half years. They don’t talk TOO often, but they do every now and then. The ex-girlfriend is still in love with her and went as far as to tell her the other day that I will never love her as much as she did when they were together. My girlfriend told me about this and honestly, it just makes me so insecure. I know she has no say in how the other girl feels or what she says…but idk. I just can’t get over the feeling that one day she’s going to want to leave me for her again. And it’s not that I don’t trust her…i just don’t know. Am I just overreacting or what? How do I get rid of these insecurities?

Technorati Tags: ex girlfriend, half years, insecurities, intention, love, rest of my life

Me and my husband got married last Saturday, when we were saying our vows I felt butterflies again. And on our honeymoon I felt like we did when we were first going out 4 and a half years ago.

Did you feel this way as well on your wedding day or night?

Technorati Tags: amp, butterflies, Fall In Love, half years, honeymoon, last saturday, vows, wedding day

5 and a half years ago, I fell madly in love with a woman. I was so sure that she was everything to me. After 5 years, I don’t feel anything anymore. I’m really confused as to what to do now! If I leave her, how can I ever trust myself to love again? Won’t I just end up, after a few years, hurting someone else? So maybe I should stay with her, because the same would happen if I chose someone else? I’m so confused!
The problem is, I’m not even sure if I want to continue with her, so how can I put forth an honest effort to try to get things going? I’m just so tired of it all.. Sometimes I just wish I could meet someone new, but then again, wouldn’t it just be the same again? Oh, and as far as I know, there aren’t any marriage counselors in my country.

Technorati Tags: half years, honest effort, love, marriage, marriage counselors, woman

Well i went out with my ex-girlfriend for one & a half years and then last week she told me that she still loves me but its just not working out, i really love her and still want to go out but i dont want to scare her by asking if we can try again so soon, please can someone give me advise i really am willing to try anything here.
Thanks.

Technorati Tags: amp, ex girlfriend, half years, love, scare

Hello,

I will apologize in advance for the length of this but I really don’t have anyone to talk to. I don’t feel like I have anyone who understands what I’m feeling. So I’m going to vent for the first time about my feelings here with you.

I just turned 28 and had a mental break down over my birthday. Now that I am approaching my 30’s I see that I have accomplished nothing in my life. I have been living from paycheck to paycheck working in retail for over 10 years now with nothing to show for. I still live with my parents, I am always broke, I have no friends, and I am terrified at the thought of going to school again. My life mainly consist of working lots of hours at dead end jobs that get me nowhere and pay near nothing.

Suicide lingers in the back of my mind often, but I know I could never go through with it because I want to be there for my 5th grade son. I am ashamed that I couldn’t have provided a better life for him. I lacked the ambition to stay in college because I couldn’t even pass my prerequisite math and english courses to pursue a degree. I feel like an incompetent loser.

My girlfriend of 3 years loved me and accepted me for who I am. We lived together for 2 and a half years. She was always supportive of me and wanted nothing more than to get married and start a family. I love her with all my heart. But I constantly doubted myself because I can barely take care of myself and my son as it is. How can I possibly have a wife and more children? I even cheated on her and she found it in her heart to forgive me. I took her love for me for granted.

I made the mistake of telling her I was afraid of being able to provide for her as a husband and ended up leaving her. Because I wanted her to be with someone who could take care of her better than I ever could.

Throughout the entire time we were separated we were still in love and intimate with each other. She made plans to hang out with me one night and I wanted to have a serious talk about getting back together. Before she was about to come over she called and told me she was just going to have a few drinks with her sister for a few hours then come right over and hang out. She ended up getting completely wasted without any consideration of answering my calls and telling me what was going on. It wasn’t until after midnight I got a hold of her and she was trashed. I was so worried yet disappointed at the same time. So I decided to hold back on getting back together.

After a few months I told her that I wanted to give it another shot and work things out. I would do everything I could to make sure we could have the life she wanted. Even though it was just a few months of being separated she was unsure because she finally realized that she could do better. I knew she was dating other people but she promised me that she wouldn’t become intimate with anyone else while we were trying to work things out. I trusted her with all my heart and took her word for it.

While she was intimate with me and trying to repair our relationship I was trying really hard to get her to stop seeing other people. She ended up sleeping with someone else. Someone who was loaded with money and could make sure she would never have to work ever again. Someone who was everything I wasn’t. When I confronted her about it she denied it. I trusted her and loved her so much that I blindly accepted her for her word. Weeks later she finally she admitted it to me what happened then ended up breaking it off with him. Then we officially got back together.

I forgave her and blamed myself for what happened. I could have prevented all this damage if I just had the confidence in myself to stay with her. To work it out I had faith that our love for one another would prevail and even grow stronger in repairing our relationship. We’ve been back together for 3 months now but I can tell her heart is not in it like it used to be. It doesn’t feel the same like it used to. My love for her is stronger than ever. But it doesn’t feel mutual anymore. Now it feels like I’m putting all the effort in repairing our relationship than she is.

I commute to see her everyday. I’m always trying to make a difference with the little money I have in improving her yard, buying her flowers, and taking her to the movies. I drive over 45 minutes round trip even if its just to see her for only an hour at her work, and take her out to lunch. I take better care of her than I do myself. I put her before me always. While we only separated for a few months but we were still in love and intimate with each other, and she totally broke my heart. But my love for her is so great that I look pass it and am eager to move on.

Before I left her I could have asked her to marry me and she would have said yes. Now I can tell she isn’t ready. When in the beginning it was all she ever wanted. Now that I’m ready to make that commitment I fear that she realizes that I’m not the best choice for her and the kind of fu
I’m on the verge of losing the love of my life. I hurt the only person who ever truly understood me. I’ve found myself breaking down and crying 4-5 times a day for the last 3 months. I feel that I am good for nothing. I have nothing to show for. Nothing to be proud of. All I have around me are constant reminders of how much I have failed in life. If it wasn’t for my son and having hope that I can still work things out with my girlfriend I would’ve killed myself already.

I imagine how much better off everyone would be if I was dead. My son would be taken care of better and happy that I wasn’t there to be a dead beat loser that wasted his life accomplishing nothing. My girlfriend would finally be happy with someone that can give her everything she wants and not have to worry about me holding her back and bringing her down all the time.
future she wants. In just a few months of being separated it has completely damaged and forever changed her love for me.

She was the only person I could have imagined a future with. Never have I felt such a strong connection with someone in my entire life. All my life all I have done is let people down and fail everyone. I was never confident enough to make things better. I spent the last 10 years of my life just barely getting by because I was a coward. Now I’m almost 30 with absolutely nothing to show for but countless regrets and bitter disappointments in myself.
All I want to do is spend my free time with her on the days my son stays with his mom. I have absolutely no friends and nothing to look forward to but being with her. She has a lot of close friends that absolutely despise me for hurting her the way I did. I don’t blame them nor hold any grudge towards their feelings about me. I completely understand their feelings about me. I understand she wants time to hang out with them. But when she slept with that other guy she lied to me and told me she was at the bars with her friends that night.

I told her that she needs to start building my trust again before she can go out drinking with them. I wouldn’t care if they hang out but I don’t like the idea of her drinking. In the past every time she went out for "a few drinks" she has always proven to be unreliable. She never calls when she says she’s going to, and never comes home when she says she’s going to.
She makes it seem like I’m making her choose between her and her friends but all I’m asking is for her to be responsible and not to drink. It’s not impossible to enjoy yourself without a drinking. I don’t feel like I’m asking too much. I just want her to be reliable and show some interest in repairing my trust in her and our relationship.

Is our relationship damaged beyond repair? I feel like no matter how hard I try it is never good enough. It is so difficult because I love her with all my heart I don’t want to lose her again. But at the same time she doesn’t love me in the same way like she did.

I’m not into bars or drinking. I prefer to stay home or go out and do things that don’t require getting wasted. I am aware that I have serious self esteem issues with how I think I have accomplished nothing in life but disappointment in myself. I feel it’s too late for me to make a better life in the little time frame my girlfriend wants it. What can I do?

Thank you for reading this.

Technorati Tags: 10 years, 3 years, ambition, back of my mind, better life, failure, feelings, girlfriend, half years, heart, Hello, jobs, loser, love life, love of my life, mistake, parents, Paycheck, paycheck to paycheck, prerequisite math, suicide, vent

My ex-girlfriend broke up with me for another guy after 4 and a half years of relationship. The thing is she uses me as a backup and she even tells me that she’s taking me for granted. She comes to me when she has problems with her boyfriend. Oh by the way she already cheated on her boyfriend with me for 3 times. Recently they had this problem and she came to me. We ended up having sex and having a good time and i thought we might get back and all. But recently she fixed things up with her boyfriend and told me that she loves him. Now she wants me out of her life since her life is so perfect with her boyfriend now. Im basically her doormat and her rebound. I want revenge. Her boyfriend already knows about the 3 times that she cheated on him but doesnt know the most recent one when we had sex. I want to get revenge on my ex…any ideas?

Technorati Tags: doormat, ex girlfriend, half years, having a good time, having sex, How To Get Revenge, rebound, relationship, revenge, Revenge Girlfriend, revenge on my ex girlfriend

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 years. For the first 3 and a half we were on and off and everywhere inbetween just because we were young, naive, and unsure of what we wanted. He was my first boyfriend, first kiss, first love, first to take my virginity, first of literally everything. I have always felt a deep love and a gut feeling towards this man. During the times we weren’t together, just considered "sex buddies", it didn’t matter how great of another person I had found to date I dumped that person immediatley just to have a one night with my ex. I took every opportunity to be with him.

Towards the end of those 3 and a half years, both of us were going down a horrible path. Him with his drinking and drugs, and me dating several men at once and doing adult modeling. We realized at the end of those 3 and a half years where we were headed was a dead end and we needed to get our stuff together and we did. We jumped back into a serious relationship and helped each other turn our lives around. Over the last 2 and a half years we’ve hit a couple small bumps in the road but we’ve easily overcome them and it’s made us nothing but stronger. We love each other very much, we’re each other’s best friends, we both know our world would come crashing down without each other. We’ve been planning our future, saving up money to buy a house together outside the state, planning on marriage someday (when the time is right), and growing old together.

About 3 weeks ago, he did the unthinkable. He cheated on me. I shocked me, it shocked him, anyone who hears the story and knows my boyfriend well would be in complete shock. He payed a prostitute to meet him in the middle of the night for oral sex. Thankfully he used a condom the entire time. And thankfully it wasn’t someone he knew where something like this could turn into a love triangle. He told me a week later what he did, how incredibly sorry he was, how sick he was that he did it, he couldn’t explain his actions, he couldn’t believe he went against his morals, religion, everything he’s about. He couldn’t believe he could do something so horrible to the woman he loves the most.

Some would tell me to leave him. Some would tell me to seperate for awhile. I decided to tell him I’d work it out with him. We’ve come so far and gone through so much. I told him the bare thought of being without him hurt 100x worse than accepting that went behind my back to shove his dick in another woman’s mouth.

He keeps telling me I deserve better but I refuse to believe it. During those 3 and a half years when we weren’t together I found another boyfriend. Before that man asked me out I thought "what if my ex comes back? I guess I can dump this guy and go running back to my ex cuz he’s what I really want". 3 months into that relationship, my ex did come back. Breaking up with this dude was no easy task. He was very controlling, very minipulative and I felt I was being guilt tripped and forced to stay. So I cheated on him with my ex…. 11 times in those last 5 months with that man. I almost feel I deserved this like karma is kicking me square in the butt. It was very wrong for me to cheat and even though the guy treated me like crap, didn’t justify my actions.

Do I trust my lover? Absolutely not. That part is shattered. I spent a whole week asking questions. I wanted to know the whole story. I wanted to know all possible reasons that could have lead to him to cheat. He also has a problem with instant gratification, he wants it now and we’re also working on that. I told him trust takes nothing but reassurance and time. Forgiveness will not happen in a day or a week or even a year. Takes time. He has to learn patience. I hate to pull the leash so tight and lock him in the dog house but it’s not my fault he got there. Even if it’s something I had done or didn’t do, it’s his fault for not communicating that to me before this happened. So, I made him get tested. Condom or not, there are possibilities of disease. His porn is trashed, deleted, and banned for a long while. His jerking off every day, every night has to come to a stop. A possibility of him cheating could have been a sex addition, a porn addiction, boredom (he’s unemployed right now) and I will do everything in my power to make sure we cure those possibilities. I email him throughout the day everyday, I want to know what he’s up to. We don’t live together which is hard for me to monitor his every move but I do see him almost every night for a few hours after my work, and all day through every weekend. I do question him a lot and exect answers. I tell him he MUST tell me everything no matter if he thinks it’ll hurt me. It’s best out than kept in. If he’s not satisfied in the relationship for some reason or another he MUST tell me so we can fix it so he can be satisfied again. Communication is vital in our relationship if he wants this relationship to last. I’ve been asking A LOT of questions and he’s been good with answers. I told him if he is unfaithful one more time, I DO NOT tolerate a man who constantly cheats. I deserve a man better than that. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

I spoil my man rotton and have. I cook from scratch for him often, sew up his torn and broken jeans, I take him out to amusement parks and other fun activities and shower him with gifts for his bday, our anniversary, xmas, and valentines. He spoils me too, just differently (he pays for all of our weekly fun like all dinners and movies and stuff). I give him massages and backscratches. I help him go fishing, I help him re-load his guns when he goes to practice his shooting (like a shooting range). I do everything in my power to be the most perfect girlfriend for him. I read up on sex, sexual techniques, and pay attention to his likes and dislikes so he can be sexually satisfied always. I listen to him. I understand him.

He’s been good so far and is definately changing for the better. We’ve been talking more, he’s coming up to my work to take me to lunch once a week, he’s being more active instead of sitting on his butt being bored. He’s been telling me how much he truely loves me, how truely sorry he is for screwing up. He’s been doing a lot more to please me. He even put a promise ring on my finger, promising to never leave me, to never cheat on me ever ever ever again, and to be the best man he can for me. I like it and all and I think it’s very sweet of him… i just hate knowing how it got there, what hurdle we had to jump over for the ring to appear on my left ring finger.

I guess what I’m looking for in response is am I doing the right thing? Is working through this, both him and I praying over the situation and bettering ourselves, and me keeping him on a tight leash in the dog house is the right thing? What would you have done if the man you’ve been loving for 6 years stuck his dick in a prostitute’s mouth?

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