Ok, here is the deal. I am 16, a junior in high school. About 3 months ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of 16 months. At first our relationship was really great, but then we started fighting a lot over little petty things, and it just seemed like he had changed. He didn’t understand me anymore and he wasn’t the guy I fell in love with. Plus we were getting really serious and since we were only 15 and 16 at the time, and had already dated a year and a half in high school, I felt like we both needed to branch out and explore. I mean isn’t that what you’re suppose to do in high school? Date around till u find the one?? Anyways, ending it with him was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But for some reason, deep down I felt like I needed to do it. Well at first I didn’t find myself missing him much. And a few weeks after we broke up, I started talking to and liking a guy who is now my current boyfriend. We have been dating all summer. I really like him alot. This is where it gets confusing.
I have been talking to my ex all summer long, because when I ended it, we agreed to stay friends and continue to talk. Well our "talking" involves such things as him saying he will always love me, and he would drop any girl for me. I did not really miss him at first, because when he said these things, it reassured me that he will always be there for me incase I realized I need him back. Well, he just recently got a new girlfriend and it hurts me to hear him talk about her. I see how happy he is with her and how happy she is, and I just think "that could be me". IAnd now when he talks to me, he says things like, "I really care about her and she could be the one for me instead of you", and "I don’t think I would leave her even if you wanted me back because I care alot about her." When he says these things I cry, and I regret breaking up with him. I have contemplated getting back together, but I know that I must’ve ended it for a good reason in the beginning. Plus I like the guy I’m with right now A LOT! But the thing is, I love my ex.. I can’t seem to get over him. I know I told him I want to date around and him to move on, but now that he has I am extremely depressed. I’m worried that I will realize later on down the road that he was the one for me and I need him, but by the time I do he will be long gone and I will have lost all chances with him. I don’t know if I’m feeling jealousy and I just feel this way because he was my first love and I will eventually get over it. Or if I feel this way because I really do NEED him. Please help! I don’t know what to do! =(
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I quit smoking in May 2007, it was the hardest thing I had ever done in my life, but I felt SO GOOD after having done it, I saw so many positives to the experience, life was great and I owed it all to having quit smoking.
In October 2009, I was out with some friends, drinking, and I had one cigarette. I felt bad about it, but was determined to never do it again.
In December 2009, I found a pack of cigarettes on the ground outside of my apartment, containing 5 whole cigarettes. Over the course of a week, I smoked all 5. I again felt guilty, I felt like the last 2 and a half years as a non smoker had been for nothing, and once those 5 were gone, I was determined to never smoke again.
On New Years Day 2010, I smoked one cigarette at a friend’s house. The next day, I bought a pack, and I’ve been smoking about 7 cigarettes a day ever since.
I REALLY want to quit again. The first time I quit in May 2007, I used Nicorette Gum for a week, and then I was okay. But now, again, I’ve bought the gum, and its just not cutting it, I go for maybe a day or two without smoking, and then I find myself buying another pack of cigarettes. I’m now 20 hours into not smoking, and I have to go to work in 2 hours, and I don’t want to smoke anymore, but the urge is so strong that I know I’ll stop and buy another pack before I go to work tonight.
I have two and a half years as a successful non smoker under my belt, there are so many positives to not smoking, but, when your smoking, its just such a powerful addiction that its nearly impossible to stop.
I’m a nurse, I KNOW all the health dangers, I have patients with COPD, emphysema, throat cancer, lung cancer, CHF, heart disease, hypertension, etc, all due to smoking. As a lifelong asthmatic, I know that if I continue to smoke, I WILL get many of the things listed above. When I smoke, I get severe heartburn, shortness of breath, skin rashes, and urinary frequency.
I think that, maybe if I could keep my smoking to one or two cigarettes a day, I’d be okay with that. And thats why I continue to buy packs, I think, "well, I’ll only have one in the morning, and one at night", but that quickly turns back into 6 or 7 a day. I like the "high" that you get after not smoking for 12 or more hours. And, for me, smoking during "adult activities" increases the pleasure I feel.
But I’m sick of the coughing in the morning, I’m sick of my lack of energy, I’m sick of the heartburn, the urinary frequency, the smell on my fingers/clothes, decreased sense of smell, decreased circulation to my limbs, decreased tolerance for exercise, etc, etc.
And then when I have all this willpower to quit, and I have 1,000 good reasons to do so, my mind goes back to my low self esteem, "you’re not good enough to quit smoking, you deserve to get lung cancer, look at all the bad things you’ve done in your life, why quit smoking? Why be healthy?"
HELP!!!!!!
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My Best Friend sent this to me and wanted answers…what’s the best way I can talk to her about this??? …Btw, she said she’s already emailed a minister, a Bible teacher, and a devout Christian a ways back with no reply…she is very discouraged and I’d like to help her back to her faith. Thanks.
When my oldest son was just a toddler my husband and I had our difficulties(this is our second try at marriage). He was very controlling and obsessed with video games(we found out last year, unofficially, that OCPD can account for most all the difficulties we’ve ever had). Jesus’ words in the Bible kept me in the marriage, specifically "Matthew 31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:
32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery." I knew that if I divorced I would want to remarry someday so I stayed and tried every way possible for things to be different. Nothing worked, I couldn’t fix it no matter what I did. I fell into a deep depression because the situation was so difficult. …and I still stayed because I didn’t want to sin. Eventually there was no joy in my life. My children are my world and mean everything to me so I hope I can convey how serious things were for me that even my son didn’t give me joy at the time. That’s when I started shoplifting – it was my coping mechanism. The adrenaline rush I got from it was the only ‘joy’ I felt at the time so it quickly turned into an addiction. I sought help, counseling and and antidepressants…it was the absolute hardest thing that I’ve ever had to go through. I really believe if I would have stayed in that situation I would have ended up dead or in prison…my son did not need that. I left when I realized that and I’ve been happy and healthy ever since…and with a different outlook on life and Christianity. I think if I hadn’t have been so devout I wouldn’t have fallen so far away from a religion that I held so dear at one time.
BTW(some people just don’t get this so I have to reiterate)Shoplifting was not me. I am an honest person and I always will be. It was not about the items at all…most of the time they were just thrown away. It was honestly the only way I knew how to feel good when I felt so so bad all the time. So I hope you don’t feel any differently about me for that period in my life. I certainly don’t condone any activity like that. I feel very strongly about doing other people right and having respect for each other. If you don’t have that what do you have?? 
My biggest question is that it’s pretty well accepted in the Christian faith that the Bible is God’s Word…but if that’s true wouldn’t there be a way where I could have got out of my situation without sinning. God is perfect so His Word should be perfect. Why did Jesus’ words leave me in a place of utter despair?!?
PLEASE give me some sort of answer…I just don’t know who to turn to! 
Love Always,
*******
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My husband of 10 yrs left me and filed for divorce. I am devastated and don’t want to divorce.
I love him…
My husband and I have had our ups and downs for the past 10 years like most marriages. We had a fight 4 weeks ago and it escalated to him moving out and filing for divorce within 3 weeks. He says I have emotionally abused him (silent treatment, yelling, talking to like a kid, etc…) and he doesn’t want our relationship anymore.
I have since stopped calling and texting as much as I was in the beginning, which only made things worse. I’m trying hard to give him space and time. I have accepted responsibility for my mistakes and am working with a therapist to change my behavior. His chief complaints are I don’t speak to him respectfully, always question him and control things, smother him, won’t accept his decision to divorce.
I am truly sorry for the way I have treated him and have expressed that to him, but he said he doesn’t believe me because I promised to change when he left me in January. I did make some changes, but they were not to his standard and he didn’t mention anything until our fight 4 weeks ago. I am desparate to save my marriage and I don’t know what to do. I have been reading books, taking anti-depressants and courses on relationship rebuilding, but nothing seems to matter at this point.
He says he is 75% gone and has recently agreed to speak with a counselor with me to find it if he is making the right decision. This is the hardest thing I’ve had to go through in life and the pain is almost unbarable. I can’t function. I cry from the time I wake up till the time I go to bed. I have missed work and am planning to take FMLA to protect my job. I’m severely depressed and feel my life has no meaning without my husband.
If he leaves he takes everything away from me. I only associate with his family, I don’t have many friends, everything I have done in the past 10 years has revolved around my husband and our marriage. I feel like I am loosing my identity. I want to show my husband that our marriage is worth saving and that it can be saved, but it is hard when he keeps moving further away and refusing to deal with our problems.
He has walked out and it is difficult to even get him to talk to me. I don’t know what to do. Divorce is not an option for me.
If you don’t have anything helpful to say don’t say anything.
I just can’t handle negativity right now.
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