My husband and i are married for 6 years now, he is 34 and i an 26 and we have 2 beautiful boys. Just before the marriage he was hospitalized for food poisoning. But the hospital diagnosed him with heart problem that was because the nurse put the ECG attachment in the wrong place. Our marriage was postponed and we got married a month later. In the initial days of marriage we were so much in love, my heart used to miss a beat up on his one wink, I used to be very happy to see him come home from work and stuffs like that. He started showing signs of his problems in the early days of marriage, initially we decided go to Paris for our honeymoon and my father said he would pay for the tickets for us as a wedding present , but my husband said no and he said we would go with his money but that never happened, he dint bother to buy me a present on my birthday, 1st anniversary and valentines day (all in the same month) and when I spoke to him about that he said he dint know how to buy a gift . we stay away from our home country and when we go for vacations he takes lots of gifts for his parents and other relatives, then I don’t know y he is hesitating to buy me anything. (I don’t have a job). He gives me money and asks me to buy things for myself, but just once I want to receive a gift from him. During the 2nd month of marriage I became pregnant with my 1st born, after the delivery and 8 weeks when I returned to him he showed no interest in me. We used to fight all the time, always about sex those days I was very frustrated and when ask him a lot of time we used to make love once or twice a month. But I always wanted him to go 1st, when I talk to my friends they say their husbands are back of them every day , I wished at least once it would be that way for me, eventually I stopped asking because I felt like a whore asking him every time. But there was no change in him, and then a year later i started taking medicine for depression, before my illness I used to beg him to have sex with me, most of the nights I cry myself to sleep. one day I spoke to him and he told me it is because he had anxiety problem and now he is ok But while I was on treatment, I don’t know if it is out of pity, he used to have sex with me then I got pregnant with my 2nd son and the same thing was repeated after the delivery. But now I don’t have any feelings for him, day by day I feel emptier inside. When I see him I want to pick fight maybe its because I want his attention, even if we have sex I don’t have any feelings for him, I do it just for the sake of it. There is a huge gap between us I don’t know, I literally hate him, our days are filled with sighs, now I see some change in him, I don’t know if its love, because for days together we don’t even kiss. somewhere in my mind I want to love him unconditionally , i want our relation to be like before, I try but I cant , when I try, I feel I am pretending . I am sure I don’t want to be away from him. I want to be with him for my kids. PLS HELP
