We have beeen married 5 years. Normal ups and downs. Second for both. He is 56 I am 48.
I am unemployed but have been looking for work for a couple of years now. no jobs in the only thing have ever done-dental office for 20+ years. We were making it on his pay-but no more luxuries like when I was working.
His ex-wife who is out of state called him out of the blue a few months ago. After 19 years apart. They have one daughter 30, and she knows he remarried. She is going through a bad divorce and now realizes after all these years my husband was the only one for her!
He left her because she cheated on him repeatedly.
I found a text on his phone-a gut feeling told me to check. She left him one saying she was so happy he would be giving her another chance and she would never hurt him again!
Long story short, he is leaving me for her. I was a good loving, faithful wife. I made a nice home for him and denied him nothing. She makes good money and part of me thinks he is sick of supporting me and going without, With her they would live high on the hog.
I am in shock. I am hurting so badly because I cannot even imagine why someone would choose a cheater over the real thing. She told him she changed. They have been emailing for a while, and I asked him why as it was disrespectful to me. He said she was only calling him because she has no family and no one else and it would stop. It didn’t and escalated into this. After 20 years apart?
The house was mine when we married-in my name only. There is zero equity in it so if I sold it I might not even break even. I have no money of my own. Even though i could temporarily stay with my parents for a while, I will be homeless without anything but the clotthes on my back. I can’t afford to store my furniture with no money.
I spoke to a lawyer and he said the most I could get for alimony is maybe 0 week for a couple of years. I am losing not only my marriage but everything I worked so hard for all of my life. i have no choice-my family has no money either. My 18 year old son from first marriage lives with me. he is crushed as he really loved his step-dad. Now at 48 I will be moving in with my parents and filing bancruptcy. No money to pay credit cards, car ins., etc.
What was he thinking? The money? That she really changed? My lawyer said she didn’t really want HIM, but the security and familiarity of him after her second husband left her.
How can I cope? My world has disappeared in a matter of days. I know I could never take him back after this (IF he ever wanted that) I am just so confused-what was he thinking????
We are living our lives, she calls out of the blue after no contact for years, and now my marriage is over. Please advise I am losing everything I ever had and I am crushed in every way.
