Me and my girlfriend dated of and on over the course of a year and a half. We lost our virginity to each other, we never fought, and although we had a rough start due to me leaving at the end of the year for college, we made it work and we were happy. Until I left. My girlfriend was bi, and although I believe she tried not to be very open about it, I still knew. She had had many bad experiences with guys before, (ie. molestation, and other mental abuse) but I was a caring guy, and we shared a deep trust in one another. We even expressed thoughts about where we hoped our relationship would head in the future (marriage, kids, being highschool sweethearts, etc) . After I left for college, she remained in highschool and got a job, and there, over the course of about 3 months she was sexually harassed by a manager there. Being far away, I couldn’t do anything but give her advice to tell someone, which she never followed. The few times I came home, physical things became less enjoyable for her, and she showed signs of distance emotionally. She stopped opening up to me, and then when I left again for college after winter break, she broke up with me for a girl that had been hitting on her for months. It didn’t end well (I overreacted and told her mom, which I regret to this day, and will for the rest of my life), and we stopped talking for a month. Since then her new relationship has had the opportunity to grow to where she enjoys the physical aspect of girls, and says she’ll never date a guy again. After I apologized to her for my actions however, she answered back about how she sometimes regrets her decision and such. Which I do believe isn’t normal. (seeing how if she only likes girls and not guys, she wouldn’t regret it) I’m still head over heels in love with her, and I feel like if the harassment and molestation at her work hadn’t separated us physically, and the distance hadn’t separated us emotionally, we’d still be together. She however, is very stubborn(even she admits) and won’t give in to even the possibility of liking guys again ever.
I’m a very patient guy, and wouldn’t have sex with her for years if it meant being with her. Is there any way to win her back? She shows signs of not being over me, by trying to make a relationship with this new girl, as deep as the one she had with me, and I really can’t help thinking that if I put in enough effort, that if they split up ever, I’d be able to comfort her. How do I get her to open up to me/guys again? And is it even possible unless im physically home to help her through it?
btw, i do not want any anti-gay spam for answers. nor do i want any close minded answers. i realize that if you are born gay/lesbian, thats the way things are. but hopefully you all realize the possibility that a scarring experience with the opposite sex can indeed affect your sexuality. im straight and ik that the experience she went through would possibly have turned me too. so once again, please keep it to intellectual, open minded responses.
