When do you stop trying to save your marriage?

I’d rather not hear any til death do you part stuff…I already know that.
Here is the kicker – He doesn’t hit me, or cheat, drink too much or anything like that. I am just very unhappy and he is a total workaholic and I don’t feel like I am getting "my money’s worth" so to speak. I love him, but we have a daughter that needs him too and he just is NOT available. Work takes priority over everything, then hobbies, then his personal time. We come last.
This has been going on for 3 years….we have little sex and it is always on his terms, i.e. very quick and unfulfilling and he gets up right away and runs back to his computer. NO romance, no real dialogue and he is always angry…not at me, just in general and he takes it out on me and our daughter. I’m at my wits end and have come to realise I am wasting my time, I can do better and he seems to need to be single so he isn’t pressured to spend time with any family. I guess I wonder if I moved out for a while, if he would even notice
Yes, we’ve talked repeatedly, yes, we’ve gone to counseling, I have tried everything.
I also work full time and am the sole caretaker for home and our child.
I also might add that he does not have a drivers license due to stupid things before I met him…so I have to drive evryone to/from where they need to go.
And the last time I talked to him about seperating he had no clue why, and asked me if I was interested in someone else!?! Completely clueless!
I don’t want to leave and this is upsetting, but i’m kindof freaking out. I can live like this, sure. But who would want to?



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How to get back your ex?

my girlfriend and i recently broke up for the third time this whole summer i treated her like garbage. this last time its hit me so hard. I’ve been miserable she said she doesn’t know whether she wants me again she said its leaning more towards yes ive been a nicer person to overall everyone I sold my xbox 360 one of my hobbies and i bought her a promise ring and gave it to her and today i wrote her a farwell letter, when were alone just the two of us she acts like she used to but once i leave shes different. She says she needs space i give it to her but there might be someone else who lives 45 minutes away and can’t even drive. We’ve been together for 1 year and 4 months and im not ready to end it. Im trying as hard as i can i just dont know what to do. :(


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How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back – Getting Over A Break Up

www.getexbacktips.com presents How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back – Getting Over A Break Up – 4 ways to help you get over a break up as part of your plan to get your ex girlfriend back. Step 1 – Stay busy. Do things you enjoy including hobbies and sports. Visit and go out with your friends. Most importantly, keep active so your thoughts are distracted from thinking about the relationship. Step 2 – Put the relationship and your ex girlfriend in perspective. Write down what was good and what was bad about the relationship.And write down what you liked and disliked about your ex girlfriend.Only by listing the good and the bad points do you allow rational – instead of emotional – thinking to take place so you can decide if you really want to get your ex girlfriend back. Step 3 – Create a Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back Plan. Use sound relationship repair advice if you want to get your ex girlfriend back.Theres no need to make mistakes that push your ex girlfriend further away. Instead, follow the advice of other men who have gone through a breakup with their girlfriend to find out what works and what doesnt work. Step 4 – Follow through with your Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back Plan. Dont give up. And dont get discouraged. Youll increase your chances of getting back together with your ex girlfriend if you follow and stick to your plan. Go To Get Ex Back Tips.com for two FREE Reports Top 3 Mistakes Men Make To Get their Girlfriend Back…and 50 Romantic Ideas (for adults only) For …


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Is it possible to fall back in love with my husband of 12 years?

I have been married to a good but cold and sometimes selfish man for 12 years. I worked my but off for the first 6 years and got not much in return. Recently I told him I was done and wanted to leave. Now he has turned over a new leaf and is trying to fix everything and doing the things now that he would not do in the past. 90% of me says to little to late. We have kids 6 and 2. But the other 10% says stay maybe the feelings will come back in time because he is now trying to change the things that made me not love him anymore. I am feeling torn because I don’t want to lead him on by staying and trying to love him again and have it not work. But I also don’t want to walk away without knowing for sure because of my kids.
To James, it is not as shallow as christmas presents. This is more like love and affection. I would go out of my way to show him affection. I would tell him I loved him. He would not return that. He never wanted to have sex. He would put me down when I expressed my opinions. He would not fix up our house instead he would spend all of his time and our money (I work full time as well) on his hobbies. I guess if wanting a loving, caring partnership was selfish than maybe I was.


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How to fall in love with hubby all over again?

Here’s my dilemma: Married to hubby for 3 years, together for 13 years. We met with I was 17 and he was 18, during our freshman year at college. We both had minuscule relationship experience. We are now 31 and 32 years old, with an almost 3 year old, and I am 6 weeks pregnant with baby #2.

My question is: How do I fall in love with my husband all over again? Because I am BORED out of my mind! First, I have to take responsibility for my own actions: not putting enough time and attention into the relationship. It takes 2 to make a marriage work. But I am BORED. Since we became Mommy and Daddy, it became all about our son (which my hubby complained about; he felt left out). And over the years since we’ve become parents, we now live more like roommates.

I find myself easily annoyed with things he does, with the way he doesn’t take care of his body, with the fact that he has no hobbies or interests or friends, with a lot of things. I have even gone so far as to become interested in other men. Wrong, I know.

I want to get on the right track again in my marriage, so how to learn to get rid of some of this boredom and learn to love my hubby again? How do I learn to find him desirable again? How do I learn to WANT to be with him?

We will soon have 2 children, and I don’t want to rip up our family. But I also don’t want to be 50 years old, wondering why I spent so much time with a man that may not have been the right match for me, or feel that I missed out on more compatible, more exciting men.

Any advice?

P.S. Please, no name-calling, or bashing. I just want helpful advice here…..Thanks!
Edited to Add:

Thanks for the helpful suggestions. I agree that we need to move TOWARDS each other instead of AWAY from each other. It’s been too easy to move away from each other, as if the other is some permanent fixture in the room. I am going to do the following: For 2 weeks, I am going to show him undivided attention….love…companionship….NO NAGGING (hard to do!)…..plentiful kissing… a couple dates….and see where it goes.

Yes, we probably should have dated around at 17…hell….even at 25! But we didn’t. And the person that said 31 and with kids is too old to be wondering about that now–you’re absolutely right.

Instead of thinking the grass is greener on the other side of the fence……I’m going to take down the fence :) Or, at least, try to!
Note to Guy bein’ a Guy: Wow, thanks for the kick in the ass I needed. You’re right, I have forgottetn how to be a wife and a lover. I went from LOVER to MOTHER, without wondering that would make my hubby feel. I have shut him out, and as a result, he’s only reacting to ME. I agree that I can’t complain if I am not doing all that I can do to make the relationship better, more exciting. It takes 2 to make it work. Instead of complaining, I’m going to be the instigator of good healthy relationship habits, and see just how far it takes me.

THANKS!!! :)

P.S. Yes, I am a pain in the butt at times ;-)


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