Before we were married. Love from the start.
I could not believe some day we’d part.
The day of our wedding. Now only a dream.
Tears fell when is saw you. In that dress of cream.

You knew I loved you. You had to know.
Your note on your mirror. It said I loved you so.
That day we ended. When our marriage went dead.
Was the day that you asked a stranger to bed.

He didn’t protect you. You’re not on the pill.
Aids you could have. Yet I loved you still
You have my love. You never lied.
While he was on top. You said you cried.

The vision I have of him on top.
The sight of you crying. Him refusing to stop.
I promised to protect you. It’s myself I can’t save.
The thoughts of you crying. I will take to my grave.

I will love you forever. For you were my bride.
There will be no other. The pain I can’t hide.
I hope satan takes him and in horrible pain.
I would do it myself. But who was?
"The Man With No Name"
Our promise to God the day we wed.
Forsaking all others. are the words we said.
I gave my love my heart my soul
I gave them to you in your heart to hold.
I wish I had known when we promised that day.
That it would be you who would choose to stray.
We were a family. You took it away.
I gave you a daighter. Yet refused to stay.
You don’t have a clue of the love you lost.
My love lives forever, It don’y care the cost.
A hopeless tomatic. A life of shame.
My prayer forever. was to share my name.


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hi

i was married 7 years to a man who was very moody and hard to deal with.

when it came to sex, we didnt do it or he would make me feel silly for asking. it kinda made me feel like i was being desperate!! i just wanted to be loved. it made me afraid to approach him and the pain of being rejected cut me like a knife. i will never forget that awful feeling.

before i met him, i was confident with myself. now i am not.

i had to leave my ex as it was making me become ill and i was always crying.

now i live with my new man and he is great.

we have a good sex life and he is a lovely person.

but last night, i flipped out because he said he just wanted to sleep as he was so sleepy from work (he works a 15 hour day- 5am to 7pm)

immediatley old pain came flooding back and i pushed him away from me. he was abit suprised, and i had to go out of the room for 10 minutes to figure out why i had flipped. its because i remembered that awful horrible pain that i used to experience.

i immediatley thought ‘he doesnt want me’

i apologised and he gave me a cuddle and said it was ok.

i mentioned why it had made me flip and he was ok with that.

but i need to let go of my past and be free and be my old self again.

i feel so afraid to come on to my boyfriend incase he says no. and then i also feel stupid for not being able to be feisty and sexy and take control. i am consumed with all these intense feelings.

how do i become more free sexually?

how do i learn that it is ok to be sexually confident?

how do i let go of the bad memories of my ex husband?

why does he still haunt me?

i have to sort this out so i can enjoy my life!

can you help?

louise xx


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