Hey. Im desperate for some good advice. This is a very sensitive subject, and I already feel really horrible and bad about it, and I know Im probably a horrible person, but please try not to post too many mean, negative comments, im looking for advice, not judgment. sorry if this is long. Well, first off, I am married. For about a year or so now. I love my husband, I really do, but I’ve always still been in love with my ex boyfriend from high school. we really loved eachother, and still do I think. I should never have gotton married so young, I know. anyway. well, me and my ex have been having an affair for quite some time now. I dont’ sleep around, I just have all these feelings for him, and having sex is a way to still express them I guess. I miss him alot. and he says he still loves me. anyway. I ended up getting pregnant accidentally, and I had been with my husband and my ex around the same time, so there was no way to know who the father was. I have now had the baby, and me and my ex have done one of those home paternity tests that you mail in. Im waiting for the results right now. I havn’t told my husband, and I really don’t want to. It would hurt him so bad. he’s a great guy and I do love him, he’s like my best friend. I want our marriage to work. but I’ve dug myself a hole now. If the baby is my husbands, then thats good, and we can move on with our lives, and he’ll never have to know. but what if its not his baby, what if its my ex’s. my ex says that if its his, he wants to keep quite about the baby anyway until the child’s older anyway. first off, thats not right to hide that from my husband and my daughter about who her real father is. that would be wrong right. cuz someone told me that I should keep it a secret, at least until my child is older, so I don’t ruin my marriage, hurt my husband. and if It is my ex’s baby, and I tell him, down the road he might decide that he does then want to be apart of the child’s life, and then he will tell everyone and the secret will be out anyway. so I don’t know what to do. If its my husbands, then no one has to know, and no one will get hurt, that would be the best out come. but if its my ex’s, should i not tell him the kids his, or I have to because thats the right thing to do? also, what should I do about my ex. I still love him, but I know that it would never work out between us. we have a very strong physical connection and I do love him, but we don’t have a lot in common, and I just know we wouldn’t be happy actually being in a relationship together. but I love him, and I know I have to stop sleeping with him, but its so hard. and Im sure people would call me all sorts of names for saying that, but I can’t help it. any advice would be appreciated alot, and please not alot of negative feed back please, don’t trash me, I know how these forums are. please don’t judge me unless you’ve been in my shoes. I’ve made alot of mistakes, and I am very sorry. thanks. sorry so long again.
Also, I will choose a best answer for the best advice.
