How do I fall back in love with OCD husband?

I have been married 10 yrs, and have two small children. My husband and I have been having martial problems (fighting a lot) for about 8 yrs. He is a hot head, yells at me a lot, is controlling, we fight a lot, he is lazy, selfish, lacks confidence and is jealous among other things. He is also sweet, a good father, funny, and we share a lot of interests and beliefs. He is also my husband which I vowed to love through good and bad…. but how much bad do I take?

Last year I couldn’t take it any more, I was tired of being a mother to my children and also having to mother him. I was also tired of the fighting and double standards so I said we either separate or seek counseling. He freaked and we started marriage counseling.

Through that it was discovered that he has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. There are thoughts he can not control (like if I am cheating, or if I am out if I got in an accident, or if people are talking about him/making fun of him, etc) which leds to his lack of lack of self confidence and need for reassurance. This also can be the reason he is "lazy" because the thoughts he has are so overwhelming he can not to much of anything else. He agreed to go on medication and that has helped his bahavior some. We have also continued counseling and he is making genuine efforts to change his behavior…. however, there are somethings that have not changed (short fused temper, being bossing, being lazy, needing me to "mother" him, not being an equal partner in parenting, and the double standards), and the things that have improved (jealousy, self confidence) are great but not enough. I also feel that even though he / we have made progress that we slip back into old patterns quickly.

I know a lot of his behavior is because of his OCD – that he can not control. But I am having a hard time getting over these aspects of him and getting back in love with him. I love him as a friend and fellow parent but I do not have romantic or spouse like feelings for him and I am not physicially attracted to him anymore. How do I get those feelings back??? Can I fall back in love with him? How can I love him like I should with this disorder??? I feel horrible that I dont have these feelings for him and I think of leaving him but I dont want to break up the family and I dont want to look back 5 yrs from now and realize what a mistake I have made. I made a vow to love through the bad times but I have found that I cant, no matter how I try. I feel guilt and pain and I’m trying….

Any suggestions on how I can love him again, or do you think I should work on building a new life without him??

Serious and kind suggestions please.
Yes! My children come first! So do I take them away from a loving father? Or do I keep them in a household where there is little love and lots of fighting?? Trust me, my kids are why I am trying so hard. Thanks


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could i make my wife fall in love with me again? she claims she’s depressed . She feels lost without a goal .

Just recently i’ve been seeing a change in my wife’s behavior.After constant arguing over the lack of sex, huggs and kisses I was able to get her to tell me the truth. She admitted that she does’t love me anymore. This of course broke my heart. I was there for her from the day we met. I helped her through so manny of her personal problems with her family and finances. I work hard with the thought of her and the baby in mind. I only want the best for us, but we are struggling.When i first met her i was more of a hot head. I hung out a lot, went out drinking. Is it possible that she fell in love with me in the past but the new calm me is not what she wants. She doesnt like to talk about this, she refuses to see a counselor, but at the same time she wants to stay with me. She tells me that she cant leave me. That im her best friend and im all that she has. She still refers to me as babe, and that messes with my head.She swears that it has nothing to do with another guy. And this is the tr
I tryed to get her to come with me to see a marriage counselor but she wont go.She say’s she knows what she feels and she doesn’t need them. Its so weird, she found a new apartment for us to live in. When i told her i couldnt live with her she cryed. She can easily move in with her sister or mother. They’re all financially secure.But she still wants me to stay with her. But just as friends. I told her that there is no way i would accept her going out on dates while im living with her and she continues to get angry over that. Constantly reminding me its not about men.And she’s not interested.How can i get her counseling if she wont go.
i really appreciate all of the responces. It really means a lot.


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