Have you been reading any romantic relationship psychology in a bid to discover why you and your partner don’t appear to be getting on very well? If so I would suggest you stop before you end up driving yourself nuts.
There are a huge number of relationship philosophy and psychology books out on the market but every one you read appears to contradict the others. In a recent interview, even Dr Phil, the relationship expert,admitted that most therapist and counselors don’t know how to fix a partnership. Sure they will give you the theory and the reasons behind some types of behavior, but whether that sorts out your particular problem is more a matter of luck than anything else. Often they come from a background of broken relationships, but you won’t know this as your counselor never divulges their personal details to their clients.
Every partnership is different and while some issues between men and women i.e. who wants more sex, who does the most housework, who earns the most money, who minds the kids more often; can be similar. However at the end of the day the issues you are facing are as a direct result of who you and your partner are.
Does that mean you can’t find help? Of course not but you don’t need a relationship psychology course to do it. What you need is a great self help book that will help you to communicate and relate to your partner better. Something for both of you to read and share.
I suggest the Magic of Making Up as it is written by a man which is rather unusual to start with. Mr Jackson is very happily married and committed to helping his clients either become that way or remain that way. You only have to read some of the comments from his readers to see what impact the book had on their lives. Perhaps you have come to the end of your partnership, as I am not going to lie and say every relationship can be saved, but at least wait before making your decision until you read this book. Then you will be armed with the knowledge to make the right decision for you, your partner and if appropriate your kids.
It takes guts to admit that there are issues in your partnership that need working on. It is so much easier to put your head in the sand and hope that they will go away. But the sad fact is that most won’t disappear for good. They may go away for a little while but they will come back and perhaps even worse than before. Problems have a way of developing a life of their own if they are not dealt with quickly and efficiently.
You and your partner have invested a lot in each other and so you should be willing to take one more step to try to prevent a breakup. So forget about studying relationship psychology and instead concentrate on making each other happy once again.
My therapist diagosed my ex boyfriend with narcasstic personality disorder. That explains why he could abruptly leave the relationship with no remorse. (I had began to assert myself- I am tired of doing your housework, I want to watch 1/2 of tv of what I want after 6 hours of your stuff, I want intimacy and to be respected) I know that I am better off with him out of my life but I feel betrayed hurt and like I lost myself. (He had me ignoring my life that I had before i met him)
By the way – he broke up with me in the most humilating of ways but still wants to be friends so he can do things with me. He expresses no remorse over the relationship- not even mentioning good times. he only wants to talk if I am praising him (about a lie) but never wants to address what went wrong
My wife and I have been married 4 years and she quit her job a year ago because we wanted to start a family and she got pregnant fairly quick. She did all of the housework and laundry in our home untill she got 5 months pregnant and then she just stoped cooking,cleaning, and would only wash my work clothing. I also noticed she started spending a lot of my money on stuff for the baby without telling me, so I took away her bank card and started giving her a 0 allowance which at the time seemed like a smart idea even though she resisted at first she accepted it. By 6 months our house had not improved so I asked my wife what was wrong and she said she was tired and her feet were swollen so I told her I was going to hire a maid twice a month and have it come out of her allowance. I ended up hiring a maid at that left her with only 0 and we both argued for a week about it and then on a friday I got home and my wife had packed her stuff and left. She left me a note telling me how much I hurt her by making what was supposed to be the most amazing time of her life into something she wanted to forget she also reminded me of how she took care of me after my accident and never took my bank card away or put me on an allowance. When I read that it really hit home and I drove to Georgia to bring her back home and she didn’t want to come back with me and then I really knew I messed up big time. My wife and I are still legally married but she said she wants a divorce once our son is born and that she doesn’t want to see me till after she has the baby, so I won’t even get to see my first son be born. I feel awful about how I treated her is ther any way I could try to save our marriage or Am I just hurting her by trying to save it? I already send her flowers daily and call her daily but her mom says she doesn’t want to speak with me. Her mom did tell me she cries a lot and says that she thinks my wife still loves me. What else can I do?
my husband and i have been to 3 different counselors, we’ve tried alot, we don’t agree on anything from housework to free time, we don’t fight effectively but we fight everyday, sometimes i hate him, i don’t know what else to do. i love him but it’s like we never should have ended up together so what do i do?
let me add we’re having a baby
I love my best friend’s partner/husband. Even though I don’t know him very much, I know he is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. I have known my best friend for eleven years now and I attended he and his partner’s wedding/civil union. I have never had a close relationship with my best friend’s partner. My best friend thinks that me and his partner don’t get along well. The truth is that I have distanced myself because I love him. I didn’t want to hurt my best friend and he and his partner are so happy together. But I can’t stop myself now. I have waited for so long and I might end up doing the worst things to get to be with him. I am fifteen years older than my best friend and his partner but anyway….. I want this guy so badly. Every time I look at him I think of what it would be like to kiss his precious lips. I want to feel his milk-and-honey skin into me. I also want to love him eternally. But he is like forbidden fruit. I bought a precious, expensive ring for him seven years ago that I haven’t given him yet. I plan to do so soon. I am scared. Scared about what his reaction will be and how my best friend will react. My best friend haven’t seemed to notice anything but I don’t know if his precious partner knows that I love him more than anything. I have suffered for so long now. I have seen my best friend and his partner kiss, caress each other and be in love. I did it all for my best friend. But now I can’t wait any more! I want his partner so badly and if I get him by my side I will treat him like my princess for the rest of my life. I will do everything for him. Everything he wishes. Cook meals for him, do everything to please him and be there for him all the time. He doesn’t even need to do any housework. I will be there to serve him. I don’t know what I should do if I never get him. He is my everything and I don’t know if life is worth living if he is not by my side. How should I get to know him better and get him to love me?
Have you been reading any romantic relationship psychology in a bid to discover why you and your partner don’t appear to be getting on very well? If so I would suggest you stop before you end up driving yourself nuts.
