If you have broken up with someone special, you may well now be trying to work out how you can get over them or how you might win your lost love back. Both of these options are difficult, but very few people manage to move on easily from a relationship with no regrets and no pain at all.
Think very carefully about your lost relationship and your ex partner before you decide what to do. What was it like when you were together, and what will it be like now? Try to be objective about this. You may indeed find that you regret the break up or not.
If you have chosen to try and win your lost love back, the first thing you need to do is apologize. Maybe you think you have already done this, maybe even a number of times. But maybe your ex didn t think at the time that you were really sincere, perhaps thinking instead that you were just saying sorry to stop the break up.
If You Were at Fault
If you did something wrong, and you were the one who really needs to apologize, then apologize again. Now that you ve broken up nothing hinges on the apology and your ex might realize you are sincere. Hopefully your ex is thinking that you really do mean it and you can persuade him/her of your sincerity.
If Your Ex Was at Fault
If, however, it was your ex who did something wrong but you didn t get the apology you deserve, then consider forgiving him/her rather than insisting on an apology. What he/she did might be something you won t ever forget, especially if you were cheated on, but maybe you can learn to forgive.
Forgiving is a lot harder for most people than just telling someone you forgive them, and you might have to get some help with this so that you can be sincere. This is an important step if you really want to win back your love. It can also be helpful in the future, preventing further problems.
If you are successful in winning your love back, you might find that in a few months time some of the old issues come up again. It s going to be very hard for you to get past these if you haven t truly forgiven your ex for whatever it was that broke you up before. The old wounds will open up again, and you will say hurtful things to each other once more.
If, however, you find yourself able to truly forgive your partner now, then you won t have to go over the same ground again later. As you work towards forgiving him/her for whatever it was that caused you to break up, you need to forgive him/her for the actual break up too. This will save a lot of future heartache.
When you are trying to win back your love, he/she needs to see you as the person he/she originally fell in love with. So don t show the recently dumped you, but the old you. Back then you weren t showing hurt, jealousy or anger, but attractive qualities, such as kindness or gentleness. You might not succeed in completely hiding your pain, but try your hardest to be the best you can be, and to remind your ex why he/she fell in love with you in the first place.
