I know I am to blame too, I was intimate with him which I really repent for, please understand I am really sorry and want to heal. I think he used me to just keep me around for a while talking about marriage and such and used me for intimacy and money. I don’t know but I do know he is showing much more feeling for this girl he saw while we broken up, but didn’t tell me when we got back together that they were still friends and he has strong feelings for her. We started being intimate again, I thought he was just waiting to be commited to me until we get over some things, but on Monday he wrote a lot of posts with feelings behind them about a girl leaving a guy she is with to live a happy life with the one who will treat her right. She is a model, and I am not, I feel I gave so much love and care to this man, I gave him my unconditional love and money and time and feelings and energy and prayers and he has all these feelings for this girl who is with another guy he thinks she should leave for him. How do I get over being left, is it because she is a model? I am so strong in my faith and love in Jesus and GOD and I prayed for us and God’s will to be done and this man I feel was just keeping me around until she decided to be with him. I might be wrong, but I really see it this way and need to know how to go on the best way. Thank you.
I did think God put me in his life to help strengthen his faith that he has but said he wants God in his life more, but he is thinking God put him in her life to get her out of abusive relationships but he has been being intimate with me and talking to marriage with me while keeping her as a friend and having feelings and asking her to be with him while not telling each of us about eachother. I found this out by contacting her for truth since he posted a bunch of stuff about wanting a girl leaving a guy to be happy with someone else and I knew it wasn’t about me. He won’t even admit the post is about her, and she says she doesn’t want to be with him even though she poses in bikini to let him take pictures of her. I am confused and he won’t admit the truth and he says he cut her out of his life and says it’s because when he tries to get close I do things to push him away which I have been working on but now I just think he loves her and is using me because she is a model and I am not
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It’s been aprx 4 months now since my wife has told me she doesn’t love me. We don’t fight and get along fine. We have 2 boys in their teens.
She will not get intimate with me and says she must be "in love" in order to have sex. She is not pursuing another relationship, she got a new job that pays more then mine so she is comfortable if I were to leave.
We have 18yrs invested in our marriage. I’ve said some very hurtful things and took our marriage for granted but I’ve commited to make changes in myself and it feels like I’m making progress in our marriage but it’s still lacking intimacy. I plan on asking her to at least try on becoming intimate (even if we don’t go all the way) with me.
My question is. If she is not willing to try and become intimate should I give up or keep trying. As far as I know she is happy with the current arraigment.
PS. I am seriously considering paying a hooker to relieve my sexual tension to get me through this rough time. any thoughts?
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I have found my first love from 17 yrs ago. We were young, both barely 18 then and he came to visit his uncle who stayed on my street in Ohio. We fell deeply in love but both planned to attend college soon in our home states and were afraid of moving because of no jobs or finances so we broken heartedly let things go. We found each other on Facebook and have been talking every since Oct. He still lives in Arkansaw and I am still in Ohio. Also I am still married to my husband of 10yrs. We have not been happy for the last 7yrs. Before I even got back in touch with my friend I have wanted out. Life has been filled with no intimacy or laughter in so long that I have almost forgotten how good it feels just to enjoy someones conversation. I do not want life to pass me by without experiencing true love and happiness. And I know my children are not benifiting from such a dry and lifeless marriage either. My lost love says that he is willing to wait and that he never stopped looking for me. He said that he will love my children as his own and is willing to do whatever it takes to have me in his life again. He tells me he loves me everyday. My husband doesn’t have a clue as usual. He just works and complains and in between watches a little television. Whether I move to be with this man or not, I know that I am not happy here. And I have tried to make it work but after 7yrs, I just can’t settle for what my husband is willing to give to the relationship. I don’t want to grow old with this man. Please offer some advice as to what I should do. I know what my heart is saying. My head is just so use to restricting myself and playing it safe because my husband has not cheated (that I know of), and I am not being abused. Please help me to take the leap…. or should I?
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they were too young, immature and self centered to make a real go at it and ended up divorced but had a daughter together. it was a bitter divorce and in an argument he threatened to sue for custody. she made up a bunch of lies to the police had his arrested and make sure he couldn’t have visitation let alone custody.
4 years ago he met and married me. then last year he was searching on face book and got in contact with the ex again. He got to talk to his daughter on the phone, started sending Christmas presents. That’s all good and well, I’m happy for him. But him and his ex have started chitter chattering on the phone, text messaging for hours, instant messaging on line, and emailing. He knows it bothers me. I have told him over and over again the only correspondence he should have with her is about their mutual child together. especially because she is unmarried without even a boyfriend. it is easy to fall in love again when two people who have been married before start talking with this level of intimacy. Her father has been sick, almost died, she kept calling him for the should to cry on. Her brother just died a few weeks ago and again, was on the phone with him for hours.
Then it hit. she told him she misses him. her mother got on the phone and told him he is still considered her son. my mind is going freaking wild. He knows how I feel. but he doesn’t seem to think he’s doing anything wrong so he don’t care he’s going to continue "being her friend" meanwhile she’s forming an attachment. his pastor has told him he’s treading on dangerous ground and so has his best friend. His best friend even told him it doesn’t matter if their is nothing wrong with it if it bothers your spouse this much then he needs to put his current wife’s feelings first and its wrong based on that merit alone. So my questions on the situation…hard to pick just one…am I overreacting? is this marriage worth trying to save or should I just take my cats and leave? CAN it even be saved or is he headed toward being reunited with her? he says he’s not but he does nothing to discourage her advances.
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My husband and I have been married for 18 years and just recently I felt a distance and I confronted him about it, come to find out he says he loves me doesn’t want anything to happen to me kind of love wants to still be in the same house for the kids sake tells me he has felt this way for probably 3 years now but is tired of lying to himself and to me he cries says he doesn’t want to hurt me and that he doesn’t want to feel this way but he don’t know how to get it back he says he crings when I touch him and that the only time he feels close to me is when he is horney and we make love but once were through its back to disgust I have noticed that the nights we make love he wakes me up in the middle of night talking to me being intimate telling me he wants and needs me but then when I talk to him about what he did he doesn’t remember it and were back to the distance again he tells me I need to make him fall in love with me all over again. Can anyone help? Its killing me
everyone has to know the reason I say 3 years it was about that time that I cheated on him which I horribly terribly regret because it was a huge mistake he told me he thinks that that is what this is steming from feeling he was 2nd best he took me back and we went on with our lifes he really is sincere in his words when he tells me he doesn’t want to feel this way he wants to love me he wants to be loved he just don’t know how to get back and he don’t know if it will ever come back he wants me to find myself, be happy, don’t push and maybe it will bring the feeling back
and what I don’t understand is the middle of the night intimacy thing, where is that coming from I mean I swear he truly talks to me likes he is awake. Example: This happened last night he told me how badly he wanted me and needed me and that he didn’t want anyone else to ever feel this. I truly believe there is no one else because it seems this is tearing him apart as well and no he doesn’t want to go to counseling he said how is talking to someone going to make him love me again
and just so everyone knows he says its definately not me as far as the way I look actually I have lost so much weight because of this he tells me he can tell me he loves me act like nothing has happened but he says I’m beautiful but he doesn’t want to get me false hope
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