We are 11 years apart, I love him, things have been tough on us lately, while trying to figure out where we are going for our honeymoon last night we go into an arguement and he broke off the engagement and everything, saying that our relationship is too much for him. He told me to do whatever I want, whether its date someone else or whatever. He told me good night and hung up on me. What makes it really bad is that this morning when I woke up he had deleted our pics from our myspace and his yahoo profile, putting single (this broke my heart) I love him, but if he doesnt want to be with me anymore….what more is left to say or do……I havent called and he hasnt either…..by the way right now we are also 11 hours away
I dont thing it was anyones fault really, he wanted to go to somewhere tropical, and I wanted to go to italy…He said we couldn’t afford it, but I told him why he could afford a 40 thousand dollar car for cash but not a freaking nice honeymoon
We have been together for two years, and engaged for about 8 months…but I have known him all of my life, his mom was there when I was born, we grew up together…my parents and I moved away from our town when I started my junior year in high school, we always kept in touch as best friends until he came into town one day and we finally met up again and fell in love right when we saw each other again after so long.
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So this past year has been very rocky for my husband and I. I was at my husbands military christmas party and one of his lady co-workers seemed to be acting very strange. I felt funny about it. When we drove home I asked my husband about it. I also asked him how he felt about her. He casually said, "he was close to her, No really close to her". I about dropped my jaw at him saying that so openly. I talked to him about it and asked him what he meant and he said, "we’re just friends close friends from being in the same platoon together for so many years." I still didn’t feel very good about it, So I got snoopy. (No Im not proud of it) But glad I did. I found in his e-mail that he left open on accident that he was e-mailing her and asking to have lunch with her at drill weekends. He was e-mailing her regularly. The e-mail did just seem friendly – not sexual or anything, but he would say maybe we can have lunch this weekend. Then I found he was also signed up for a Adult web site. Which REALLY HURT. I have always loved my husband and been faithful to him so this was a blow to me. Because I had already forgave him for cheating on me when we lived over seas in Italy. He went to school (in the military) and on his off time he would go to a bar and drink with another Navy guy and was sitting with two ladies which over the five weeks turned into dancing and kissing. I was so hurt the first time because I was pregnant at the time and far from all my family. Took a long time to get over but he promised it would NEVER EVER happen again. So to get back to the recent…..I am having a hard time dealing with all of this again. He swearer’s he did nothing with the lady from the military other than a dinner and talking at lunch and swearer’s most of the time other people from the platoon was there.
But then I found out he was flirting with ladies on Myspace, man things just kept getting worse. I was going crazy. I even found a saved phone number from an old girlfriend. He said they messaged each other on classmates and then later looked her number up and saved it in his work phone, but that he never used it. How do I trust him. He has given all his codes to me and swearer’s I am his only one. But I know Cheaters will lie till they go to their GRAVE. So I am always on my toes. We have been to counseling a few times, it did help, But I am still having a hard time…..He promised me the first time he cheated he would never be with a lady alone again, but then he went to dinner with her and lied to me about it, He says, He lied to me because he knew i’d be mad and there was nothing to the dinner, but friendship.
He gets very mad at me when I bring up his past, or when i tell him I don’t trust him. He just doesn’t get what he has destroyed. We are very very close as a couple, (I know that sounds weird) But we are always holding hands, kissing and everyone tells us how cute we are as a couple and wish they could find a relationship like that. Yes our sex life is GREAT also. At least everyday and usually more than that. Yes we have four kids. Yes we have to be creative. We have been married 19 1/2 years now. But I just don’t know what to think. Does he really love me, Why do men flirt with women "IF THEY LOVE THERE WIFE’S SO MUCH" I JUST DON’T KNOW IF I CAN EVER TRUST HIM AGAIN. I LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY HEART. But I feel like things will never be the same again. We have a week or two that goes great and then all my frustrations come back from a flash back. How does one EVER REALLY know if someone is Truly sorry????????? I wish I could really know if he love’s me. I cry often, but he doesn’t know it. I cry because I miss (the KNOWING my husband LOVED ME) It’s a feeling I wish I could get back.
I haven’t told anyone about all this (except the counselor) and I have to always acted like my marriage is great to our family etc. I don’t want everyone to know what he has done. One its embarrassing for me and I don’t want anyone to think badly of him. I know that’s sounds stupid. But You gotta understand I LOVE HIM and I don’t want him hurt in anyway. We have enough pain between us dealing with it than to involve others. Also another reason is our son went though Cancer for a year and We’ve had enough pain, so involving others just would add to it. This is way I am sharing it here. I need to get it out. I know he doesn’t want to loose "US" when I mentioned leaving him he feel apart crying begging me not to leave. He is constantly tell me that he love’s me and never has Cheated since Italy with the Kiss. He tells me he didn’t realize the things he was doing recently was going to hurt me or that I would call it cheating. But I am so confused & not sure if I can trust him. Guys what are some signs that a guy is really sorry. HELP!!!!!!!
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My ex and I broke up a little over 3 months ago in September. We were together for 1 yr and 3 months. We have been through a lot in that time though. We technically traveled the world together as she studied in France while I studied in Spain. Our split was mainly because there was a lot of pressure from our relationship because it progressed faster than we had planned and felt like we were very involved in each others lives. I guess you can say to a point where the appreciation and excitement of one another was losing its spark. Also the distance wasn’t helping when we were away from each other during our school semesters. Anyways when we broke up she studied one more semester abroad in Italy and I was here in the U.S. I stopped contact with her during the three months because I didn’t want to push her away by possibly making her feel any guilt from the separation and which I also thought was the best move for me regardless. During the 3 months I have not thought about her that much really and have been going out and enjoying the single life as you may say. Been able to move on from this instead of moping and feeling depressed from it, which I know I should of been doing anyways. So I have been fine and I know she had been fine especially being away from home.
Now she had come back home a couple weeks ago and I have seen her for the first time. I was very very happy to just see her and I had missed her very much. We got together a couple times just to catch up a little bit. One of the last times we had spoke, we kind of just spoke about how our relationship was before and how things may have been the cause of our separation. However I had asked the question of her possibly dating me again sometime in the future and she said maybe but that she wasn’t sure and that she has been happy being single. But our conversation got cut off after that cause we both had places to be at. A few days later I was invited by one of her best friends to her best friends Birthday Party. I had attended with a couple of my friends that they knew and we hung out with them and had a good time for the most part. For me it was the first time I had really felt the feeling again of really missing being her Man/ boyfriend and it was starting to kill me. I didn’t really interact with her too much that night but my friends had more than me. At the end of the night when I said goodbye I told her that she looked great and that it was nice seeing her. And she then informed me that she was wearing the dress that I had bought her before. Then we had a big hug and then an unexpected almost near kiss goodbye. Really wanted too but didn’t think it was right to. But my friends were all saying that they saw something that night. Maybe little indications of interests still there.
The next day I tried seeing if she wanted to hang out later that night. First she wasn’t able to do anything cause she had things to finish up and wasn’t sure if she felt like going out. Then I had mentioned that she should let me take her out once. After that she had said that our conversation that we had before the other day had gotten cutoff and that maybe we should get together and talk about it. So I said sure and then she asked to meet her at like a starbucks. Then before I was on my way she had mentioned that she didn’t want to leave the house and if I wanted to just go over her house instead. So I did. We spoke about what was going on between us and I guess you can say that she has been happy being single and isn’t quite looking to be in a relationship, however we had agreed to "Date" each other though. She admitted that being back home, that it is weird not hanging out with me when she is home or getting back from work and what not. Now she said she was afraid to go through with just dating because she thought that I wouldn’t be able to just date. However I felt like there was more to it than just being worried about me. But I’m unsure. So I guess you can say that we are technically dating now. We have hung out only a couple times now but when we do it feels just like how it used to be before when we were together. And I feel she tries to hold herself back at times but then she can’t at times as well and just goes with it. However we still now kiss each other at times and it seems cool for the most part. But for me I’m starting to feel the feelings that I once had for this girl. I loved her very much and I still do love her. Now I feel stuck in my head and what to think. I want to be back with her but at the same time I have no clue on how she feels because its like mixed signs.
My friends have told me that I am in a good spot and that I shouldn’t be worrying because they feel that she might be having similar feelings as well but she may be afraid from it as well. I just don’t know what to do and how I might be able to go about to possibly getting her back. I need some help, advice, something. If some of y’all can help me that would be great. It’s just tha
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