www.ReunitedRelationships.com Looking for relationship breakup advice that you can actually use? Relationship breakups come with all of the most difficult of our emotions; hurt, rejection, jealousy. How do you deal with it without going crazy?
I think this fantasy may have started back when I was with my first real love and girlfriend. She ended up cheating on me after almost 2 years together, and I think thats when I started fantasizing about her with him. After I got over the anger and depression we resolved things and were together for another year. But all the while I couldnt stop thinking about her being with someone else, even when we made love, I got turned on like never before. I told her about it and she would try to play along in helping me fantasize but I think it made her uncomfortable. She ended up leaving me later on for another guy she had fallen in love with, behind my back.
SO I think thats when this started, I was emotionally scared, but for some sick reason I couldnt stop thinking about her being with another guy when I fantasized.
So since then, which was about 7 years ago, I’ve dated and have had a few more serious girlfriends in between. And with every girl I get serious with, I start fantasizing about it all over again, but with my current girlfriend. A couple of them I felt comfortable enough to tell them and one was again uncomfortable with it, and I think it put a damper on both relationships. Its not just that fantasy, but i’ve had other recurring fantasies, even some bicurious ones, and swinging. I know I’m not gay, and I dont believe that the bi-curiosity really has too much to do with this, if it does its just a tiny bit. But overall I think its the rush I get from the jealousy, and some sort of sick idea of how hot it would be to watch her with somine else while I was there holding her hand, but always in the end of the fantasy she would still go home with me, and still be in love with me. Maybe its like, I’m thinking I cant please her, and I her getting pleasure, so thats why I want this so bad. I dont know.
But with out trying to figure out why I keep having these fantasies, I want to know how I can stop having them. My last girlfriend, who I was totally in love with, we were having amazing sex and I wasnt thinking about this particular fantasy for the first month we dated (possibly because I had stopped masturbating until we started having sex). But then it crept back into my mind, and the sex although still good wasnt quite what it was in the beginning. And this really bothered me, because I kept growing closer and closer to her, and I thought she could have been the one, and here I was thinking about her having sex with other guys. It made me sick, despite the fact that it turned me on.
One part of me would like to think that somehow I could make a relationship like that work, where I let a girl be with someone else and I just watch, but I’ve read a lot of forums and have heard testimonials from people who have tried this, and the end result is usually a break up 8 times out of 10 it seems.
Needless to say, the last girl I fell in love with so deeply, left me for her ex boyfriend who she had been with for 5 yrs prior to me. So now once again, all I can think of now is her and this guy, every time I get off.
Yeah, I know this is all kind of messed up, usually after I’m done fantasizing and I can think clearly, it worries me as to why I like it soo much, and I wish I didnt.
The main reason I want it to go away, is because I dont want to find the girl of my dreams, and then mess it up because I either let her do this and it ruins everything we have, or I let it eat me up inside and it keeps me from fully enjoying the sex life that we have at that point.
When I think clearly, yeah, i’m like, why in the world would I want another dude getting with my gf??
So obviously, I’m probably not in the correct mental state where I could actually handle such a proposition becoming reality. Yet, almost every time I fantasize, it ALWAYS pops into my mind. Its my biggest turn on, and I dont like it , lol 
So does anyone have any advice, aside from seeing a psychologist, because I cant really afford that. Also, I’m only 25 and I’m in good shape, I don’t have a super tiny package, and other than trying to find the right career I dont really have any major problems in life that I would think could really make me think I should like to feel sorry for myself, or would cause me to want to have this obsessive fantasy of having someone else have sex with the most important person in my life right in front of me.
Maybe I’m just crazy and therefore doomed.
Anyways, if anyone has and experience or advice on how to get rid of inappropriate sexual fantasies, no matter what they are… I AM ALL EARS! Thanks so much 
Related Information:
Well the story goes: Me and my Ex-girlfriend went out for 1 year and 7 months. She broke it off and things werent the same for me. In about 6 to 8 months or so. She found someone else and I was still in Love with her. My jealousy and feelings of being possesive over her made me mad to the point where I didnt want to be her friend anymore. I told her to not see me as a friend also, even though she said that no matter what, she’ll see me as a friend. But I told her no. A big arguement happen and she finally snapped and said that were not friends anymore and shes not seeling me as a friend back aslo. Months pasts and I finally got over her. We havent spoke for awhile and just thinking on what I did, I was stupid. Now Im not even sure if she will forgive me. Cause I want us to be friends again. Im just not sure if I should just leave this as it is or ask her back to be friends again. Considering that I was her first love & everthing else, should I say im sorry? I still miss her at times
Related Information:
he had been with for over three years. He decided to leave the relationship and live in a state with no family of his own to be with a girl ( with a jail record and who is known in her neighborhood as easy) and her child over his own flesh. He chooses to see his daughters once a month, if he could ,instead of being a constant father figure as he is for another man’s child. After being there for his first born (who is born on his birthday) for seven months of her life, he now says he was not ready 2b a father. What type of statement is that if you are viewed as a provider (bought a home for this girl and her child) for another man’s child? Do you understand this? Would you neglect your own flesh to be apart of someone elses? Men please let me know.
Ranger D you must be the person whom im talking about. Again I just had two babies with months of each other. Again, our relationship should hold no bearing on his relationship with his babies. You seem to be guilty of neglecting your children but thanks for your immature and not knowing what ur talking about answer.
I am 100% positive he can not stand me and he never did. Weather his is happy is questionable but i guess you think you know he is. Jealousy over my babies of course but you will never be apart of their lives WHORE
To superKitten, I read read questions you wrote and I see you’re crazy. But thank you for not knowing what ur talking about.
Again to super Kitten, you are obviously hurting to be so hurtful to someone you do not know. I see many of your questions you ask is about sucide. Your anger explains why you are suicidal. You do not know me to judge me. If your experience with men has made you bitter then instead of asking about suicide see a psyciatrist. You have ABSOLUTELY no idea what you’re talking about. No one is perfect but a person’s imperfection should not allow others to treat them badly especially innocent babies. Your imperfections got you asking questions about suicide.
SuperKitten, what are you talking about. You have no idea what you are talking about! The other person’s child is NOT his, he just met her and her child is older so please do not talk what you do not know. You are talking about me and did not address the question. You have no clue what you’re talking about and I did not pick on Ranger, I just enlightened him further about his situation is not the same because his kids are older. You obviously have no problem with adultery, which they are both doing, and you obviously have no problem with children getting hurt for self-fish reasons. You started with the attack, look at your first sentence. I will not stoop to your level because what I have learned thru it all is if someone is being cruel, do not minimize yourself to be like them, just get rid of the negative energy. Believe me when I say, if you knew it all you would be sanging a different tune. I do not have to specify to you.You gave your answer and I appreciate it.
you speak of death and suicide and your energy is does not fit mine. You do not have to be a horrible person to be treated horrible. There are good people who get used , scamed and mistreated by horribe people.
One last thing "super kitten" my "stupid question" maybe a personal questions for others. Like the say in school, no question is stupid question because someone might have the same one in mind. Again just reading your Q&A and your comment here, you are a bitter person and a hypercrit. If you felt the question was "stupid" then why answer it? One might consider your questions stupid and a bit crazy. Should they judge you w/o knowing what they are talking about? You’re just one of many so I will ignore you, because as I said, I learned my lesson about minimize my character to stoop to levels beneath me.
Again you are messing the point. It shows you need to stop passing judgement without knowing everything. I asked a specific question, period. I did not have to tell anyone that he left me with a 7 mnth old and 3 months pregnant or even that he allowed our house to foreclose and left me and his infant daughter w/o adequate housing all because he says he went into something w/o being ready. His reasons or new life has no bearing on the one he created. They should be erased because he made a "mistake". I should not have to explain how her refuses to pay child support because he feels they do not need that much and is now questioning his daughter’s parternity because he feels it will delay his support order not caring how it may one day make her feel. Before you judge me, yes we argued but I never cheated nor disrespected him. My attack on this "innocent girl" as you put it is just because she stepped foot in my home while I went to visit my mother. At the time I was clueless.
Even if I was the type to miss with a married man, I would never step foot in another woman’s home nor would I make it difficult for him to see his kids if I could not be present. Again you made judgement calls that 1-had nothing to do with the ques. asked and 2- did not need explaining. We are in court and I have moved on. You saying I want him back, where was that in the ques? You saying the other girl kid is his, when we just moved to the state he met her in, where is that asked in my question, and her treating him better because I was horrible to him, where was that asked. If you really want to know his own family members are the ones who helped me see he was living a double life. My response to Ranger was due to his comment of my weight, when I specified his 18mnth old and 2mnth old.Do the math. Like my mother use to tell me " stop and think before speaking" .
running another woman down? that only fits if I am making false comments. Again talking what you do not know. She is far from a woman and anyone who KNOWS THE SITUATION says the same even those who are related to him. Please stop wasting your time insulting those you have no clue about. My reason for bringing up her true characteristics were for MEN to address based on her qualities. It was not said out of "jealousy" or making false statements. I have no reason to be jealous of her. She’s not even on my level.
Date: Fri, 01 Jun 2007 13:27:36 -0400
From: "June McF
To: "M PIERRE-LOUIS" <mpierre_louis0827@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: We miss you
You are better off without him. Your kids deserve to be love and cared
about. That paternity test is just to stall for time. I believe in
carma. What you do comes back to you. He will be very sorry for doing
this. I’m just sorry you have to suffer in the mean time.
This is a real email from an old neighbor who knew both of us and his own close netword says the same. I have no other comment to you but stop attacking people without knowing what you are talking about. Answer the question at hand. If you need to be rude because "you feel the question asked is "stupid" then use your intelligence towards questions that are suitable for you. thank you for telling others that it is ok to mistreat people, even those who are innocent for totally selfish and unjust reasons.
Related Information:
I am 26, American and lived in the UK for 3 years where i met my ex fiance, we dated for 2yrs but i left him 3wks ago as he has anger & jealousy issues. He always tells me i mesmerize him and how much he loves me etc, i love him too but im terrified of him. I was really good friends with his best pals girlfriend and when the whole lot of us were on a night out 2mths ago a guy came up to me and offered to by me a drink which i refused, he then started flirting with me and i just passed it off and casually flashed my engagement ring at him. The nest thing i know my ex came over to the guy & started squaring up to him and was going to punch him but i pushed him over to the corner and told him to cool down and then he started fighting/shouting with me, i pushed him out of my way so i could walk away from him but he grabbed my arm and pushed me into the wall, he just put his head against mine and was looking into my eyes then he kissed me & said we should leave but i was terrified so i went back over to my friends but he kept his eyes on me. The next day when we had sex he was hurting me and he didn’t stop when i asked him to so i pushed him off me and again we had a screaming match and he told me i knew how to make him thick, he loves me but hates that other guy try it on with me and i ended up calling him a headcase and he got really pissed and punched me in the face, I still have a slight black eye. When he was at work i left him and came home only to find out that i am 2months pregnant with his baby. He has tired to call me all the time but i cant talk to him. No one knows im pregnant and i want to tell someone. Im terrified to tell my ex im having his baby and i don’t know how to or if i should even tell him. Any advice ?
Related Information:
> > > > > > HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
> > > > > > HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
> > > > > > HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
