I ask because he has made NO further attempts to contact her; I gather she is on holiday (at home, and he is working) but as far as I know, he has NOT contacted her. Assume this is the truth.

So – was their meeting last week just coincidence?

History is:

In Feb this year I caught my husband cheating with a woman for a whole year and apparently he was on the verge of leaving me for her but we worked through it. He swore that was it with her. Although he said he had loved her. She sent me all his messages and texts and IMs and in these, he expressed his love for her, said he didn’t want to be with me, I was sexless and cold, but SHE was vibrant, sexy and made him feel loved and able to love again.

After I found out, he cut her off and was horrible to her. He also denied he "meant" what he said in the years’ worth of those messages. BUT –

He went back to her many many times over 6 months, after he promised me that he would cut her out of his life for good – most recently in August when he went to her work, asked the guard to call her down, she got into his van to hear him out ..

The next thing you know, my husband is arrested for ’sexual assault’ in September. He was finally released without charge 2 weeks ago, and that was that, but they have been warned to stay away from each other.

PRESENT DAY:

As some of you know, lately (last 2 weeks) he has watched her from his work van as she walks from her office to the station; he DOES genuinely have jobs in that street but he HAS watched her as opposed to hiding behind a newspaper as he sits in his van/looking away, etc.

This has happened 3 times in 3 weeks, and each time, he has stared, and she has walked on, not stopping.

THIS TIME, SHE STOPPED AND THEY TALKED.

I can’t believe it. If the sexual assault arrest has not made him hate her WHAT THE F*CK WILL???

This is what they talked about, which I know because his partner driver "felt I should know" – he was not there but was nearby -

Admitted to her that he HAD indeed been waiting for her to approach him all those times he was parked near her work, and asked why she had been "running past" him!
Apparently he "forgave" her for having him arrested.
He wished her a happy belated birthday.
He asked how her new house was going.
Oh this is good; he asked why he "could not find her" on Facebook.
He asked her ‘can I trust you now?’ (!!)
He said ‘will you let me wave at you if I drive past you?’
She told him another guy had got obsessed with her lately and he said "See I told you you were dangerous" – what does that mean?

Please can someone decipher the things he said to her,AND tell me why would he give her the time of day?

This was last Monday but even on Tuesday, apparently he passed her in his truck and beeped & waved at her!

I am concerned as to what he plans next.

Technorati Tags: attempts, Caught Cheating, ck, coincidence, contact, Husband Cheating, ims, jobs, love, Mistress, present day, quot, sexual assault, texts, truth, verge

Well we have been seperated for about 5 months now…..But now i want her back..!! Well it all starts with her parants, they just kept interfearing in our relationship.. And after we relocated i could cense that she was unhappy and mist them..but before I knew it they were moving to the same town within a month….U See i just wanted time for us to settle intogether and re-just ourselfs to our new lives and our jobs. There were also health concerns that i needed time to get through before allowing her family to interfere… but i blew it.!! she told me that they were moving down…and i lost my temper…and told her i didnt lover her anymore and that she should now be happy livin with mummy and daddy..!!! so i stormed out to clear my head, halfway to the beach 15min latter i called her to apologize but she had left and was on her way back to her perants place…. A week later she came back for her things and that was that she wont see me or speek to me..!but i feel that wbelong togeth

Technorati Tags: 5 months, girls, health concerns, jobs, mummy and daddy, relationship, temper

Would you give love a second chance?

Once bitten twice shy they say. With the supposed demise of romance, more people are shying away from love.

When someone dumps you for someone else – especially after having gone extra miles for them – it wont be easy to gamble with your heart and feelings again. Some people go into depression that makes them lose their friends or their jobs. Some end up loathing members of the opposite sex and taking their anger and frustrations out on them. Some take a break from love and focus on other things.

The fear of having to go through the same heartache, the fear of having your now-delicate heart broken again makes people build those emotional walls. However, not all people who suffer from heartbreak react this way. Some bounce back like nothing happened.

What makes people be afraid to love again? When someone you thought cared about you rejects you, most people go into self pity. They start doubting whether they are even good enough to be loved. But is this even healthy?

People break up for various reasons and I don’t think there is a reason like not good enough for love. Cry if you have to. Get a hobby to take your mind off things. Socialize but not specialize; you need that break to figure things out. Accept that change is inevitable. But NEVER EVER give up on love.

“You just have to gamble if you ever hope to hit the jackpot! There are no two ways about it,” says one chick, Peninah. Her story is; her boyfriend hurt her so much it took her 4 years to heal. And she decided to live by the motto: one man’s meat is another man’s poison. She found love and is now happily married to a man who adores her and their daughter.

When you decide to give love a second chance, it may not be easy coz most people usually have issues of trust. But when you realize that the person you want to be with now isn’t the person who broke your heart, and stop lumping people together, you will be off to a good start.

No matter how devastating a break up was, don’t let a great chance pass you by, by refusing to open yourself to love. Don’t settle for too little when you deserve too much. Get out there…love again! But remember, you must heal first in order to love again.

Are you willing to find love the second time, like it’s spoken about in the Second Chance Romance System?

Technorati Tags: anger, bounce, chick, delicate heart, demise, depression, fear, feelings, frustrations, heartache, Heartbreak, jackpot, jobs, love, motto, poison, romance, second chance, self pity, two ways

Me and my ex husband have been divorce since june 09. We got joint custody. I was never at the divorce hearing because i was never notify of the court date so what he put down he got. My ex has a new child before we was divorce. Even though we live in different states and he is in the army a phone isn’t that hard to do.He never calls to check up on my son he calls like once a month he gives me child support because he has he said he wouldn’t give it to me but since he has to he does. Now I want to take him back to court because I was sole custody of my 2 year old son. My son has been in my custody since day 1. My ex never sent him a birthday card no christmas gifts his mom gets my son gifts and puts my exs name on it. He makes it seem like he is father of the year. everyone knows he has a daughter but they dont know he has a son. So I want to go back to court to get full custody more child support and to make him pay for daycare since I cant get a job in the daytime since both my parents work and dont get home til like 5 or 6. He refuses to pay for daycare or even help me. I start school next month and have to go at night because I have no one to watch my son in days and that’s why its impossible for me to get a job because no one wants to hire me because of my hours of 6-close most jobs night hours are 5-11.

Im not trying to be some bitter women but you just have to put yourself in my shoes. I just think my son deserves better and I dont want to share my son with someone who doesn’t care about him just because he didn’t want a boy but now has a daughter doesn’t mean anything. Any advice how I can get this court case started??? By the way Im 21 I live in VA and my ex i dont know where he stays he lies about his locations with me

Technorati Tags: army, birthday card, bitter women, child support, christmas, christmas gifts, court case, daycare, divorce, father of the year, full custody, job, jobs, joint custody, Live 105, mom, parents work, Puts, shoes, sole custody

My man and I had promised each other before moving to our new location that what happened in our old location stays in our old location. I have made conscious efforts not to mention exes or previous boyfriends. He was married once before, and I understand that they still have business-type loose ends (like a car that she has that he is paying for even after the divorce because she refuses to). However, he still keeps bringing her up and I am sick of hearing about her. For instance, I have been trying to find a job (I was laid off prior to our moving) and he decided to mention how his ex would quit her job in the morning and find another one by nightfall (let’s bear in mind that these were retail and restaurant jobs where the employers never thought to check and see if she was a job hopper. I am not past working those types of jobs, but I have been interviewing for jobs with better benefits and pay so that I can pay my own way and not sponge off him like she did). Of course, that ticked me off.
Then, he and his dad got into an argument because when he married his ex, his family never came to the wedding. Mind you, this argument occurred six months after the divorce was final, and occurred right in front of me, which I found rude. There have been other instances where he would mention what a good cook she was and a few other things. I am certain he is not wanting to go back to her (of course, I know it is not impossible, I am not stupid). The woman stole his money, furniture, and car, plus left him for another man while he was out to sea, and has other issues as well. I am glad he has some fond memories of her, despite all this, but I am really sick of hearing about it. I had a rather tempestuous relationship with my ex, and truthfully find it hard to remember the good times, but have decided to let it go, not only in accordance with the agreement with my man but also because I want to move on and make new memories in my new life. It is hard to do that when his ex is constantly being brought up. He doesn’t understand why I am so angry but has made an effort to stop talking about her. I don’t mind that he has happy memories of her, but am I wrong to not want to hear about them anymore?

Technorati Tags: bear in mind, boyfriends, business type, conscious efforts, dad, divorce, Ex Wife, fond memories, furniture, good cook, good times, hopper, instances, interviewing for jobs, job, jobs, loose ends, new location, new memories, nightfall, six months, tempestuous relationship

K well like many out there i got stupid a year ago & had to take a Payday loan out to Survive, Well now im paying for it big time. Now i got several payday loans…& i cant keep this up.
I learned my lesson But now i need to find a way to free myself.

Im reacently Married & this has become a burden on both of us, If you read some of my Other questions you can see my Marriage is breaking apart, & the biggest cause are the fact we have few reasorces because of these Payday loans.
Now I have already tooken many Steps:

#1 I have already Closed my Old bank account to keep then from Withdrawing fees.

#2 i have changed my cellphone number to stop them from duing the annoying calls BUT i still try to keep in touch to update.

#3 I have TRIED to takeout a Loan with my Bank to pay these off but BOTH my wifes AND my Credit are Crap.

#4 i have repetedly Called them trying to set up a payment plan With them but there Refusing to work with me or AT LEAST work with my budget.
#5 i have basiclly completely Defualted on at LEAST 3 of them. so i can TRY to pay the others but our Budget STILL wont let me pay MORE then the fee’s & charges.

#6 we have set a budget & sold EVERYTHING we can afford to sell or can sell<including painfully enough pawning our Wedding rings.>

#7 We BOTH have tried looking for a 2nd job but neather of us can find one. to make things worse our current jobs have DRASTICLY cut our pay AND hours back.

#8 we both live in Texas, & i have TRIED to Reaserch texas laws but i dont understand all of it.

#9 I WAS thinking of Bankruptcy, Because we do NOT own a car or a house We rent from her In-laws, We have NO kids, Were both young in are 20’s, Her Parents WILL NOT help us & I my Family gone…
If i do file Bankruptcy i want to do it in a way that will NOT involve my wife in any way!….If i can. Mostly i dont know how to nor do i have the money to File Bankruptcy.

can ANYONE help us consolidate? or know a way we can conslidate these loans?….Im so lost & WE NEED help….I knwo what i did was stupid in the past, I have learned my lesoon about payday loans, Now i Just want to escape & get a chance. PLEASE HELP..any Adivce wil lbe helpful.
Please i dont need ANYMORE payday loans, I need help Do not Answer this if your solution is another payday loan!! or a loan that i cant get. Again i have crap Credit

Technorati Tags: amp, bankruptcy, big time, budget, cellphone number, crap, job, jobs, lt, marriage, money, neather, Old Bank, own a car, parents, payday loan, payday loans, texas amp, Tooken, wedding rings, Wifes

I hate that I’m still in love with him. And that he only wants to be friends. He says he’s in love with me but he doesn’t want to be committed right now. He’s working two jobs, 75 hours a week. (One I helped him get and happen to work in the same building different department). He says he can’t give me the attention I need as his girlfriend. So be his friend or nothing at all. Ok, so I still want him in my life so I agree to being friends…Then he’ll say something else like "if you’re a good girl for the next month you’ll really love your birthday gift, but u know you like to go out to parties and clubs so we’ll see" (my b-day is late sept). This behavior from him is like he doesn’t want me, but he gets jealous when I try to get over him. Sooo I complained in the past about us not talking on the phone anymore, him not texting me as much and us not seeing one another. He called more the first couple days, he’s been texting me everyday, but he still hasn’t made any initiative to spend time together. When we’re together it always laughs, jokes, hugs, kisses…etc. I told him we’re not having sex anymore because its not worth it. Making a mockery of what we had. His claim is he doesn’t want to do anything with anyone else, so if he’s going to have sex he wants it to be with me. Yea, right. I want a relationship. And he’s not ready right now. I’m trying to move on…but nothing is happening. I haven’t met anyone that can even measure to him. I find myself still thinking about him all the time. He cares enough to text me each day. But I feel like purposely not trying to love me again. He wont allow it to happen. He doesn’t want to talk about us- what we had or what may be. He’s just like show me you’re there for me without it being about you and take one day at a time….I’m trying to look past him. Because I get the sense he loves me but he’s confused about being with me or wanting someone else. So how can I meet someone else when he keeps pulling me back in?
I just want to be happy. When we were together he made me happy. He says he doesn’t like to talk to me on the phone as much because I bring up old negative things. He says why can’t I say things like I know you’re working hard? When I try to contact him and he doesn’t respond back it makes me feel like he’s giving attention to someone else. The same attention he used to give to me. So when he does contact me, I get upset that its taken so long. My school year is about to start next week. I just want to start fresh and new. But I’m still in love with him….I want to meet someone new!

Technorati Tags: being friends, birthday gift, couple days, day at a time, girlfriend, good girl, good guy, having sex, hugs kisses, initiative, jobs, jokes, love, mockery, one day at a time, quot, relationship

bring back jobs. bring back money flow into the economy. and a sense of hope.

why not go back to the years of america made products, used by americans? outsourcing is nothing but betraying one’s country, by giving jobs away. (besides im sick of having to deal with "customer support" from a country, i cant even half understand!)

why doesnt the gov’t do something about it?
so many jobs that can be done by an american, taken away to another country!

if we could bring back those jobs, we can get stricter with welfare and try and help the homeless and get them working again too.
i have heard all the excuses in the book. there is no excuse in betraying your country.

Technorati Tags: Country 105, customer support, economy, excuse, homeless, jobs, money flow, welfare

Hey! I am a 14 year old girl, and I absolutely love to read. Being an author would be great, but right now im just jumping from idea to idea. Be honest, please. I can take criticism. I’ve already posted this story before, but i adjusted some things.
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Ugh. Not another human disturbance run. That’s the branch I work in, Human Disturbances. A strange name, because it was made by the strange. I am a Myst. Made of pure magic, no blood flows through my veins, just magic. We are the most powerful of the supernatural race, which is why we own the whole Kingdom. At fourteen, even though humans are still in school, we work hard at our jobs. Human disturbance runs only happen if the regular guys aren’t there. By the way, an HD run is when a human is creating waves of, you guessed it, disturbance. This one was especially unusual. This is the one when I lost my life. And on a Tuesday, of all days.

My name is Zeela MacKenzie. I don’t especially love my job right now. In the past i’ve dealt with witches, trolls, faeries, and vampires. Don’t get me started on vampires. Whatever the human race has made up about them is all a lie. They are completely cowardly creatures, who spend all their time trying to play the best practical joke on you. So it’s kind of ironic that a vampire came to my rescue. Anyways, I was walking up to an especially expensive place, when I got a visible vibration coming from the top floor. Oh boy. This wasn’t going to be easy, but dang it, if it has to happen, so be it. On the way up, I thought about what I should do to let myself in. I could use easy flattery, or maybe brute force. Haha. Brute force. Since I’m only 5′4, and built very daintily, then that would probably not be the best way in. The girl who opens the door is an AMAZON. No joke. She has swaying golden hair with ice blue eyes, and along with being super tall, she has muscles. Big ones. "Hi, I’m Ashley Green, and I was wondering if you would like to buy some cookies from me? I am trying to raise money for the Cancer walk on Friday." I say this as innocently as I can. It’s good being short, since I can slip into unsuspicious teenager mode. "Excuse me," she sneers, "but I don’t buy anything from the supernatural." I was so shocked I didn’t even notice the whole coven of witches standing in the center of the room. Well, they had another thing coming to them. I clasped my hands together and invisioned the purple fog stretching over their minds and collapsing their brains. I smiled with satisfaction, until I realized I forgot to include a stray from the coven, looking at me with a mixture of awe and hatred. "Ane, mu gensi!" Oh crap. I looked down and noticed a white circle of chalk. And I was standing right smack dab in the middle of it.
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Okay, this is about a girl teen named Zeela. She is very cynical, but loves to exercise her powers. I honestly can’t tell you the rest of the plot, because I don’t want to give too much of it away. Just tell me what you think, and I’ll take everybody’s opinion to heart.

Technorati Tags: amazon, best practical joke, blue eyes, brute force, expensive place, faeries, flattery, golden hair, hd, Hey, human disturbance, human disturbances, Idea 97, jobs, mackenzie, old girl, strange name, trolls, vampire, vampires, veins, vibration, waves, witches, zeela

These are tough times for all, jobs, money, kids, elderly parents ETC. My wife wears it all on her shoulders all the time. Unless everything in life is PERECT, she doesn’t feel at all like romance or sex.

Nothing is ever going to be perfect, but it really sucks when a whole segment of our life together is gone.

Any ideas?? I feel held hostage and will only be released when the kids are grown and gone and when I hit the lottery so money will no longer be a thought.

Help!

Technorati Tags: elderly parents, hostage, jobs, lottery, money kids, romance, Romance And Sex, Romance Sex, Segment, shoulders, tough times

We have beeen married 5 years. Normal ups and downs. Second for both. He is 56 I am 48.

I am unemployed but have been looking for work for a couple of years now. no jobs in the only thing have ever done-dental office for 20+ years. We were making it on his pay-but no more luxuries like when I was working.
His ex-wife who is out of state called him out of the blue a few months ago. After 19 years apart. They have one daughter 30, and she knows he remarried. She is going through a bad divorce and now realizes after all these years my husband was the only one for her!
He left her because she cheated on him repeatedly.

I found a text on his phone-a gut feeling told me to check. She left him one saying she was so happy he would be giving her another chance and she would never hurt him again!

Long story short, he is leaving me for her. I was a good loving, faithful wife. I made a nice home for him and denied him nothing. She makes good money and part of me thinks he is sick of supporting me and going without, With her they would live high on the hog.

I am in shock. I am hurting so badly because I cannot even imagine why someone would choose a cheater over the real thing. She told him she changed. They have been emailing for a while, and I asked him why as it was disrespectful to me. He said she was only calling him because she has no family and no one else and it would stop. It didn’t and escalated into this. After 20 years apart?

The house was mine when we married-in my name only. There is zero equity in it so if I sold it I might not even break even. I have no money of my own. Even though i could temporarily stay with my parents for a while, I will be homeless without anything but the clotthes on my back. I can’t afford to store my furniture with no money.

I spoke to a lawyer and he said the most I could get for alimony is maybe 0 week for a couple of years. I am losing not only my marriage but everything I worked so hard for all of my life. i have no choice-my family has no money either. My 18 year old son from first marriage lives with me. he is crushed as he really loved his step-dad. Now at 48 I will be moving in with my parents and filing bancruptcy. No money to pay credit cards, car ins., etc.

What was he thinking? The money? That she really changed? My lawyer said she didn’t really want HIM, but the security and familiarity of him after her second husband left her.

How can I cope? My world has disappeared in a matter of days. I know I could never take him back after this (IF he ever wanted that) I am just so confused-what was he thinking????

We are living our lives, she calls out of the blue after no contact for years, and now my marriage is over. Please advise I am losing everything I ever had and I am crushed in every way.

Technorati Tags: 19 years, alimony, cheater, dental office, divorce, Ex Wife, faithful wife, furniture, gut feeling, high on the hog, jobs, lawyer, luxuries, marriage, money, out of the blue, parents, shock, ups, ups and downs

I’m having a hard time trying to forgive and forget when my husband deserted me in our marriage on several situations where I needed him the most. He wasn’t emotionally or at least physically there for me when my mother died, he actually gave me more grief then any thing. We fought so much during this because as he puts it "I should have gotten over her death within 4 months of her death…because that’s how he is and is family is." We went to see a marriage counselor, but stopped going after he said that he was only going because I was making the appointments. He claims that he acted this way because he was dealing with emotional issues from his childhood and his deployment which both, he didn’t bother trying to get help for….even when I tried to get him help. Everytime I cried about my mother’s death, he would say nasty things like "well, I’m not going to comfort you because your going to still cry anyways." To make matter’s worse, my family also deserted me and withheld their support, I basically had no one to be there….except for a psychiatrist…even though I would have liked that to be my husband or family.
Well, I forgave him and gave him another chance. Shortly, I lose my job, and guess what….he was not emotionally supportive for me again. Instead of giving me encouragement, he would bitch me out and constantly stress me out even more by threatening me that "we were going to have problems if I couldn’t find a job." It wasn’t like I was sitting around the house just chillan, I constantly applied to jobs to no avail. I finally got a job working a fast food joint, something I told myself that I would never do ever again in my life, but I did it to keep my marriage together. Sure enough, his attitude was towards me did a 360 and he was happy with me once again….I feel very disgusted with the way he has acted….and he claims that now he realizes that he was not there for me the way he should have been, but I can’t help but constantly play back everything in my head and wonder should I continue with this marriage or not?
I grew resentment towards him for putting me through all this. I cried alone so many times, and I’m done feeling hurt. I love him still, and I don’t want to get a divorce…..needless to say, I fell into drinking alcohol to numb everything out. I’m angry and hurt, and it feels like no matter how many times he claims he is a changed man, and promises he will not desert me, I can’t seem to forget what he has done and fear that he would act like this again in the future. I can’t go through this again, I’m too weak. I’m sorry if I sound like complaining but I just don’t have anyone.
thank you Duo, I will check out that website. It is comforting to know that I’m not the only person going through this sort of problem in marriages. Now I don’t feel to entirely alone.
I’m new at this and I’m trying to figure out if there is a way that I can reply to each of your individual responses. Is there any other way to do this other than adding more details?
Karin- You are so right, love should be unconditional and I don’t feel that he loves me unconditionally. I actually feel like I’m married to a groupie…you know someone that only wants to be around when things are going great, then they are there fully without skipping a beat. That’s not who I want in my life. I feel so betrayed and hurt. Im not trying to play the blame game, but I think what made matter’s worse is that I never had a chance to really cope with my mother’s death because I have been so worried about my marriage constantly and she passed away on November 9th 2008. I got so disgusted with him when he started to act happy again when I found a job, I left him and stayed with a friend for a week. He says he is going to work on himself and change…but I just don’t believe he will. I feel like a stupid woman for giving him so many chances, my gut tells me that he will never really act right. Thank you for your response hun.
XO- you made me realize that I am looking for a reason to stay in this marriage…I don’t want to leave but at the same time, this marriage is causing me more damage than good. It does feel like abuse, as much as I don’t want to think about it like that, but it does feel that way because I’m emotionally torn and damaged about the one person that should have had my back regardless just failed on me the worse way possible. I will work on myself to lift myself out of this depression and alcoholism, your right, even though I can’t save this marriage, I can at least save myself. Thank you for your response.
Scarlet Cougar- I totally feel what your saying. He promised me that he will go to therapy, and he is willing to. The problem is, is that I have no faith in people anymore. I have been lied to, betrayed, and cheated out of happiness from this man. I just don’t believe that he will change, I wish there was some sort of pill that I can take that can just wipe the painful memory of him deserting me, cuz I think that will be the only way that I can even look at him now. I will try and get involved with a support group aside from him. Your right, I know that I have worn him out with the constant demand for support, but at the same time, he left me know choice with him so focused on his career, we have moved around the U.S. with his job I have lived in 5 states within the past 3 years, I can’t even establish friends…or even a stable career. I guess that’s what I get for being the “supportive wife” he never deserved to ask me to drop everything to support him in his career decisions.
Queen Agnostic- That’s true, we all make mistakes. I have a hard time believing in anyone that makes the mistake of not being there for the person they claim to love, that they even love that person at all. I mean, I think I could do what he did to me to someone else if I absolutely did not love or care about that person….thats the only way possible….
I will try and keep finding work and establish something for me and slowly remove myself from this if it comes down to it. I’m going to give our marriage once last chance at least I will know then that I did give it a chance.
As for the alcohol, I will stop and quit, Its not so bad to the point that I have to have it. I’m really sorry for your loss, my mother died exactly one year and one day before yours (November 9th 2008), and it hurts everyday. I’m so sorry hun, my heart aches for you. I know that everytime I look up at the sky, I know she is looking back. I know that your mother is doing the same to you (hugs).
Queen Agnostic-It will get better in time, trust me. It hurts everyday as if it happened yesterday, but I know that she is in a better place. Thank you for your support and advice, I really appreciate it.
Island- That’s what I believe to, I didn’t expect him to be the one of the people that failed to be there for me. It felt like a major slap to the face that he, along with my siblings, turned his back on me when I needed him the most. I can’t get over that part, I’m losing sleep, I can’t look at him without disgust.
I didn’t think that I was acting in a way that other people that lose their mother’s wouldn’t be. I have realized that he was just saying this as a cop out excuse so that he wouldn’t have to deal with it anymore.
I’m going to get counseling, definitely, and I don’t have faith in him or much less anyone these days. I know for sure this will be the last time I say I do to anyone, I can’t go through disappointment again. Thank you for your advice and input, I greatly appreciate it.
Liz- Your so right, and I think that’s why our marriage is the way it is now. I’m going to try this marriage counseling with him since now he is “serious” about it, but I’m also embracing myself for the worse. Thank you for your time and input.
Six6un- Wow…ouch…you really told it like it is…a little hurtful, but since when does the truth feel good huh? I appreciate you being honest with me. I’m sorry for the too much info….I wasn’t always so emotionally dependant…I just became this way when I lost my mom, I lost my mom in the most traumatic experiences ever…I watched her slowly die in ICU helplessly for one month alone (it’s a longer story how it happened but long story short, she slipped into a coma and never woke up after experiencing complications from multiple seizures during a dialysis session.)
A long time ago, we were happy with each other, he wasn’t this coward that I see now. I fell in love with his representative, it feels like this man that
continued…I see now didn’t appear until we said I do, seriously. I don’t want to end this marriage, but at the same time your right, I don’t need someone that can’t stay by my side when things aren’t going great. I don’t think I can be or consider being with another man after this marriage. Thank you for your advice and honesty.

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I like this guy and he said he likes me and think im kool and wants to get to know me better.I wanna know how I can keep him interested in me? How do I get him to want me? He works three jobs and he said that when hes off work we can hang out and stuff.I see him today at his job to give him something that he needs so what can I do to flirt with him? To like me like i like him?

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OK im going to try and not make this long but no guarantees! Me and my ex have 1 child a 3 year old little girl together then i have a 7 year old that has always called him dad. Lately he seems to be having a problem with my daughter calling my fiance daddy(she choose to do this on her own). He is now telling me my son is not his, i don’t care about that expect for the fact i believe that it is going to hurt my son because this is the only dad that he has ever know. My daughter father is now telling me that he wants to split custody with me, so here is the question will he have any chance of getting partial custody of my daughter. He has no job, so no money unless his girlfriend gives it to him. He has no house he lives with his sister, no car so really no means to take care of her without other people giving him money and help. He really doesn’t take care of her now. He bought her 1 outfit, 1 shirt and 2 pair of shoes last week and that was the first time in almost 2 years that he has done that(expect for christmas). Any advice on what to do or who i need to talk to will be appreciated I live in Dallas Texas!
Also about me… I have 2 jobs, we have our own condo about to move into a hosue in 2 weeks and truthfully I have taken care of her on my own since she was 18 months, and now im just really scared that i might not have her like i do now and then i don’t know what i would do. My kids are my world.

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It was peaceful with just me and my mother living here.I never wanted my brother to come back ever.I just want things to go back to the way they were.
* This is an urgent situation so please give me answers on lodging,jobs with benefits,ways to keep him out of the house for good.Please Help.No smart a** answers or you will be reported.

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What bothers me is he doesn’t tell me he loves me. He never was a mushy man, he is very very masculine and always has a shield up. But he would say it maybe a couple times a week.
Now a day I will tell him "I love you" and he either nods or says "outstanding". He does not hold hands, he does not touch or play. We do not have sex very much. I come on to him almost everyday but he says "to wait till later", but when he is ready it is 1am -5am, and I like to sleep from 11pm -6:30am. Most nights if I go to bed before him he won’t join me. He would rather sleep on the couch. he says our bed hurts his back. But he blames me that we "never" have sex. (never meaning 4-5 times a week).

But sometimes he does the sweetest things. He will cook these huge gormet meals for me when I get home from my jobs/school. He does this 4-5 times a week. When he gets drunk he tells me he loves me, and sometimes he would grab me into his arms and dance and sing Sinatra.

But for the most part he doesn’t even look at me.
He is in the Navy and when he comes home from a couple weeks out to sea he won’t even kiss me he will just say " What do you want for dinner"?
I don’t know if he loves me anymore and I don’t know how to make him love me again.
He told me to get a second job even though I am a full time student, so I did. He wants his house spotless, so I clean constantly. I don’t know what else to do to make him happy. When he is happy I am happy, and I have not been happy for a long time.

What do I do? Oh, and he doesn’t believe in going to a marriage therapist. He thinks psychology is mumbo-jumbo. Even when that is the field I am studying.
PLEASE HELP!

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She can’t remember the name of it or anything, but it intrigued me and apparently there were a lot of people we knew from high school, jobs, etc. So yeah, curiosity killed the cat but this really got my interest!

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We have been together for 6 years, married 3. Like every other marriage, we have our fights and spats. To be honest, I have not been the best wife there is. He has always gone above and beyond for me and our two kids. I have never really appreciated him and I’ve always tried to control him. He stopped seeing his friends for me because I was insecure of who he hung out with. He has put up with it for at least 4 years and always did what made me happy. Fast forward to present, he has two new jobs new freinds and will be starting school. He sat me down and told me he has not been happy. He said he will be making changes within himself and not be the person I have turned him into. He also said his top priorities will be his kids and his work/school. He said he needs space to find himself again and if he wants to stay married. It’s so difficult for me to swallow this, and he still lives at home. He says he will always be here for me and the kids no matter what and who knows what will happen. Please help, I’m falling apart. I’ve pushed my husband away and it may be too late for apologies. Should I move out w/ our kids?

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I’ve worked with her for 2 years and she left for 8 months and now she just came back. I was in love with her and she didn’t feel the same, so I was stuck as friend… which sucked. Then she left and it almost killed me being away from her. I eventually got over her after 3 months, but it really screwed up my life. I ended up losing 50lb in about 2 months. She just came back and although I’m not in love with her now I’m worried I will fall in love with her again. On her first day just hearing her voice was almost too much. I graduated from college and am looking for a job now. I’m currently just working at a student job that I had in college and will be leaving any time. Should I just quit now so that I avoid this whole situation?

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My family was very happy. We have 4 years old cute boy. We are happy family sample in Vietnam. We two have good jobs with acceptable salary. We are planning to get Permanent Resident in Australia may be at the end of this year. While waiting for the PR, he activily chatting with his exemployee who hasen’t divorvced with her husband yet and then fall in love with her.When I found that he betrayed me, I suffered a very great misery. He decide to divorce with me to biuld new home with his girfriend. They have a longterm plan for building new family. I agree with this decision because I just want love in family. However, I still live with him until April (to go Australia to take PhD program) and his girfriend still live with her husband who knows nothing about this stuffs. I want to change my live. I want to meet another kind-hearted man with true love with me. Is it difficult? I always think positively that I will be happy because I am a fully womanhood and positively thinking woman.

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Hello,

I will apologize in advance for the length of this but I really don’t have anyone to talk to. I don’t feel like I have anyone who understands what I’m feeling. So I’m going to vent for the first time about my feelings here with you.

I just turned 28 and had a mental break down over my birthday. Now that I am approaching my 30’s I see that I have accomplished nothing in my life. I have been living from paycheck to paycheck working in retail for over 10 years now with nothing to show for. I still live with my parents, I am always broke, I have no friends, and I am terrified at the thought of going to school again. My life mainly consist of working lots of hours at dead end jobs that get me nowhere and pay near nothing.

Suicide lingers in the back of my mind often, but I know I could never go through with it because I want to be there for my 5th grade son. I am ashamed that I couldn’t have provided a better life for him. I lacked the ambition to stay in college because I couldn’t even pass my prerequisite math and english courses to pursue a degree. I feel like an incompetent loser.

My girlfriend of 3 years loved me and accepted me for who I am. We lived together for 2 and a half years. She was always supportive of me and wanted nothing more than to get married and start a family. I love her with all my heart. But I constantly doubted myself because I can barely take care of myself and my son as it is. How can I possibly have a wife and more children? I even cheated on her and she found it in her heart to forgive me. I took her love for me for granted.

I made the mistake of telling her I was afraid of being able to provide for her as a husband and ended up leaving her. Because I wanted her to be with someone who could take care of her better than I ever could.

Throughout the entire time we were separated we were still in love and intimate with each other. She made plans to hang out with me one night and I wanted to have a serious talk about getting back together. Before she was about to come over she called and told me she was just going to have a few drinks with her sister for a few hours then come right over and hang out. She ended up getting completely wasted without any consideration of answering my calls and telling me what was going on. It wasn’t until after midnight I got a hold of her and she was trashed. I was so worried yet disappointed at the same time. So I decided to hold back on getting back together.

After a few months I told her that I wanted to give it another shot and work things out. I would do everything I could to make sure we could have the life she wanted. Even though it was just a few months of being separated she was unsure because she finally realized that she could do better. I knew she was dating other people but she promised me that she wouldn’t become intimate with anyone else while we were trying to work things out. I trusted her with all my heart and took her word for it.

While she was intimate with me and trying to repair our relationship I was trying really hard to get her to stop seeing other people. She ended up sleeping with someone else. Someone who was loaded with money and could make sure she would never have to work ever again. Someone who was everything I wasn’t. When I confronted her about it she denied it. I trusted her and loved her so much that I blindly accepted her for her word. Weeks later she finally she admitted it to me what happened then ended up breaking it off with him. Then we officially got back together.

I forgave her and blamed myself for what happened. I could have prevented all this damage if I just had the confidence in myself to stay with her. To work it out I had faith that our love for one another would prevail and even grow stronger in repairing our relationship. We’ve been back together for 3 months now but I can tell her heart is not in it like it used to be. It doesn’t feel the same like it used to. My love for her is stronger than ever. But it doesn’t feel mutual anymore. Now it feels like I’m putting all the effort in repairing our relationship than she is.

I commute to see her everyday. I’m always trying to make a difference with the little money I have in improving her yard, buying her flowers, and taking her to the movies. I drive over 45 minutes round trip even if its just to see her for only an hour at her work, and take her out to lunch. I take better care of her than I do myself. I put her before me always. While we only separated for a few months but we were still in love and intimate with each other, and she totally broke my heart. But my love for her is so great that I look pass it and am eager to move on.

Before I left her I could have asked her to marry me and she would have said yes. Now I can tell she isn’t ready. When in the beginning it was all she ever wanted. Now that I’m ready to make that commitment I fear that she realizes that I’m not the best choice for her and the kind of fu
I’m on the verge of losing the love of my life. I hurt the only person who ever truly understood me. I’ve found myself breaking down and crying 4-5 times a day for the last 3 months. I feel that I am good for nothing. I have nothing to show for. Nothing to be proud of. All I have around me are constant reminders of how much I have failed in life. If it wasn’t for my son and having hope that I can still work things out with my girlfriend I would’ve killed myself already.

I imagine how much better off everyone would be if I was dead. My son would be taken care of better and happy that I wasn’t there to be a dead beat loser that wasted his life accomplishing nothing. My girlfriend would finally be happy with someone that can give her everything she wants and not have to worry about me holding her back and bringing her down all the time.
future she wants. In just a few months of being separated it has completely damaged and forever changed her love for me.

She was the only person I could have imagined a future with. Never have I felt such a strong connection with someone in my entire life. All my life all I have done is let people down and fail everyone. I was never confident enough to make things better. I spent the last 10 years of my life just barely getting by because I was a coward. Now I’m almost 30 with absolutely nothing to show for but countless regrets and bitter disappointments in myself.
All I want to do is spend my free time with her on the days my son stays with his mom. I have absolutely no friends and nothing to look forward to but being with her. She has a lot of close friends that absolutely despise me for hurting her the way I did. I don’t blame them nor hold any grudge towards their feelings about me. I completely understand their feelings about me. I understand she wants time to hang out with them. But when she slept with that other guy she lied to me and told me she was at the bars with her friends that night.

I told her that she needs to start building my trust again before she can go out drinking with them. I wouldn’t care if they hang out but I don’t like the idea of her drinking. In the past every time she went out for "a few drinks" she has always proven to be unreliable. She never calls when she says she’s going to, and never comes home when she says she’s going to.
She makes it seem like I’m making her choose between her and her friends but all I’m asking is for her to be responsible and not to drink. It’s not impossible to enjoy yourself without a drinking. I don’t feel like I’m asking too much. I just want her to be reliable and show some interest in repairing my trust in her and our relationship.

Is our relationship damaged beyond repair? I feel like no matter how hard I try it is never good enough. It is so difficult because I love her with all my heart I don’t want to lose her again. But at the same time she doesn’t love me in the same way like she did.

I’m not into bars or drinking. I prefer to stay home or go out and do things that don’t require getting wasted. I am aware that I have serious self esteem issues with how I think I have accomplished nothing in life but disappointment in myself. I feel it’s too late for me to make a better life in the little time frame my girlfriend wants it. What can I do?

Thank you for reading this.

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Is it worth saving? If so, do you think we can make it? Here is the situation. My wife and I have been married for nine years and together for a total of 12 years. We have a beautiful 5 year old son together. Our marriage from the beginning has been kind of rocky. We’ve fought over many issues in our marriage many of these have gone on for years and to this day we still continue to fight over them; for example, household chores. My wife is really messy and lazy when it comes to helping around the house. This is something that I noticed even when we started dating but I just thought it was something that she would grow out of as we got older (we met in college). I learned this isn’t the case. Throughout our marriage I’ve done almost 85% of the chores in the house. This includes the so called male jobs as well as the cooking, washing dishes, washing and folding clothes, paying the bills, filling out the X-mas cards, etc, etc. I’ve asked her many times throughout the years for help and she would just ignore my requests. I don’t think she meant to do it but subconsciously she just didn’t do anything and get back to watching TV or reading her books/magazines. We’ve gotten in some big arguments (tons of yelling and name calling from both of us as well as throwing items) about this issue throughout the years to the point where it seems I resent her. In addition to her cleanliness, my wife is constantly late to appointments (affects me and my son), can’t multi-task (hence why I do all the housework), and must be reminded to constantly clean up after herself (picking up her clothes off floor, turning off lights, fans, etc.). Believe me I’m not perfect but after so many years of arguing over some of these issues I guess I started to resent her to the point where my feeling for her started going away. In addition to this resentment, we have the worst sex life. In fact, we haven’t had sex in probably 2 years (I guess resentment on my end and I’m not sure on her side). We’ve tried a few times in this period but we always end up not being able to go forward. I’m actually kind of “weirded” out by the whole experience anyway. In fact, our sex life hasn’t been good in quite awhile. So this has been my life the last few years. We’ve both have thrown the “D” word several times in the years but have always done so in a heated argument so maybe my wife never felt like I meant it. Anyway, I’ve been out of the house for about a month in an “unofficial” separation. I told her back in July that I didn’t love her anymore and that my feelings for her changed so she asked me to leave the house. Here is the kicker—part of the reason why I finally took the step and told my wife how I feel is I met a women who I’ve been communicating on an emotionally level with since May. We are professional acquaintances but we both have expressed interests in one another and could see us dating if circumstances were different. We didn’t do anything physically but have acknowledged that there is physical attraction on both ends. To make a sincere effort on trying to save my marriage I’ve since broke contact with this women. It was hard but I know it is the right thing to do. In regards to my marriage we’ve tried counseling but so far it hasn’t really been much help. The counselor has given me suggestions on how to forgive my wife for not listening and helping me these last few years and ways to communicate better. The big problem is I’m not sure if my feeling can return back for her. When I think of why I want to stay the reasons tend to point back to holding on for my son. Also I find myself wanting to be single again. Believe me I have no desire to be “pimping” out there like some gigolo but I just want to meet someone who I may be more compatible with. I use to think my wife and I were had so much in common. I guess over the years this has changed. It seems like we have become more and more opposite. Please help. I’m open to any comments and suggestions. THX and sorry for the long story.

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