How can I help my wife fall back in love?
She says she still deeply loves me. She still Holds my Hand and Kisses me without me doing it first. She says she loves me very very much. She still wants sex from time to time even, and says I turn her on.
We have 2 boys 7 and 12 yrs old. We got married when she was 18 and I was 22. She is now 34 and I 38. She is a CRNA Nurse Anesthesia Resident and is in school or working about 65 hrs a week. I put her through school working as hard as could over the years to help her get her RN and BSN.
We have been married for 14 years and I have not always been easy to talk to, I would always end up blowing up with a temper when she asked me to help clean house or something by saying she was nagging. She got to the point where she bottled feelings (because she felt we couldn’t talk, and I don’t blame her) and let build up to the point where we are where we are at now.
She says it started with her just over year ago. It started about a 2-3 weeks ago when I came home to a letter saying she was at her Moms and we need to separate. We text-ed all day and eventually talked and I talked her into coming back home so we could talk. I thought I was listening but I was still only hearing her, when she told me she needed help around the house.
The next time and last time we fought (which was last Thurs. night) I got mad and threw my clothes in my truck and left for the night. This was a bad move. I called her and told her I loved her very much and I was coming home, that leaving was very wrong and I am going to make this work. She said she loved me too. I came home and we talked for hours and from then on I have been doing all the laundry, washing dishes. making the kids school lunches just what ever I can to help.
We spent last weekend together shopping and tried a new Church on Sunday, holding hands and again assuring her I loved her. We hadn’t been to church in many years. We had sex 3 times over the weekend she even played dress up on Saturday night, She said she enjoyed the weekend. I now stay calm when she has a concern, assuring her she can talk to me.
That’s how I found I was a little late with my change and she is no longer “in love with me”. I CALMLY told her that it was ok and I don’t blame her. I assured her that I am a new man, and I love her, and I will not give up. She said she loves me very much too, and it’s just something she needs to work on. We are trying to get into a counselor. I tell all the time I love her, even texting her at work and saying it. (maybe too much?), I told her she was the best thing that ever happened to me and she is the best wife I could ever have and how beautiful she is.
She says she feels like she can move forward easier knowing I know how she feels and I love her. I am very scared and I pray I am not to late. She wants deeply to work it out as much as I do, I just hope she can. I have a company Christmas Party Sat. night that we are going to together. I called her and asked her out and asked her if she would like to go like I would a “girlfriend”. She said she thought that was cute! I hope I can rekindle something on this night (God I hope).
My Questions: How can I help her? Am I trying “too hard”? To the point I could be doing more harm than good by smothering her? I love her so much and I know she loves me. I just want her to be ‘in-love” with me again. What can I do?
