Me ANd MY FIANCE BROKE UP B/C HE THOUGHT THAT I WAS 2 CONTROLING OVER BUT I AM NOT ITS JUST HE ALWAYS 2 BUSY 4 ME HE SAYS I GOT 2 DO THIS & ThaT HELL HE PROBALY WITH THIS & THAT GIRL 7 WE HAVE A CHiLD 2GETHER A BEAUTYFUL LITTLE GIRL NAME BRE BUT WE BROK UP BUT STILL TALK & DO OTHER THINGS SHOULD I BE DOING THAT OR LET ALONE LET HIM SEE HIS CJHILD OR EVEN TALKING 2 HIM I HAVE TRIED ASKING MY FREINDS BUT THE R NO GOOD SO I HOPE U ALL CAN GIVE ME GOOD ADVISE
I am 18 already graduated high school I haven’t started college but I am going to in august I don’t have a job but I am always looking. Till this day my parents still treat me like a little girl, they always want to know where I am going, and with who etc. Sometimes I am going to a party and I just tell them I am going to the movies because if I tell them a party they wont let me out and if I am not back by like 10 they call me and I just never answer their calls but I always text my mom and say I am still at the movies or we went to get something to eat. What bugs me the most is my parents are not like that with my brother and he’s just one year older then me, they let him do what he wants when he wants and hes not even in school and works temp and has a baby and tickets to take care of. I been thinking of moving out because I feel like I have no life always being under my parents watch 24/7 but I just don’t want the whole responsibility of a lot of bills at just 18. How do I talk to my parents into thinking I am responsible when I am out having fun and to not worry about me so much?
I saw a movie once where a guy died and then came back as a woman, got pregnant and then died. He/She ended up having a little girl. At the end of the movie the little girl is in the cemetery with her "dad" and you can hear the man that died and God talking and God asks him if he wanted to be a man or a woman in the film. That’s all I remember about it. If anyone knows the title of the film, I would be really grateful! Thanks!
I am a step mom (or soon to be) of a wonderful 2 and a half year old little girl. My boyfriend and I have been together now for a year and a half. My boyfriend and his ex wife separated when the baby was only a few months old, (no I was not the reason) at that time the ex wife took advantage of the fact that he felt guilt for the marriage failing and that he didn’t know that he could’ve stopped her and she moved out of state back to her hometown, half way across the country. This will be a second marriage for both of us, we’ve known each other since we were kids… at any rate, his ex wife kept their daughter in her homestate and wouldn’t allow visitation to him or his family unless they flew out to see her, which he did several times. When he and I first started dating I didn’t know the specifics of their divorce or their previous agreements so I kept my mouth shut and stayed out of it. He flew out there every 6 weeks to spend anywhere from 5-7 days with her, which ended up being only two days at a time. His ex would let him keep their dauhter for more than two days and then would make him bring her back to her and then he could keep her for another two days before he left… which to me is BS since your making him go all that way and he isnt getting to spend the quality time with her that he was looking to or that she told him he could, but again I kept my mouth shut.
Now over the past year I have given him some advice. I got him to speak up to her and request that she or he be allowed to bring their daughter back here for visitation for him and his family, mind you the family and her (the ex) don’t get along at all, so his parents didn’t see their only grandchild for almost a year, which really bothers me, coming from a tight knit family. I told him I thought he should seek out custody arrangements with an attorney to have the courts appoint visitation so that he is guaranteed to get his time with her, which he has done, we are still waiting on the courts though. Meanwhile, since he has pursued an attorney the ex wife is allowing their daughter to come and stay with us for a few weeks every few months, which is great!
My dilema is that his ex wife doesn’t see me as anything but just a girlfriend. Yes if you want to be technical I am… BUT at the same time, I am going to be marrying her ex and be their daughters step mom, so I will be a major part of their daughters life. I know I don’t have the right to make life decisions on their daughters behalf, But I am the one who she spends a lot of time (which I am grateful for) with if he gets stuck working when she is here, he works shifts and he cant always get the time off he requests (since he is low man at his job and my job is very flexible with time off I take as much time as we need for her). How do I get his ex-wife to start including me in travel plans and such? Or even recognizing that I am here to stay and I am not going anywhere so she has to deal with me as well! When their daughter is here, we follow ALL of the same rules her mother has for her at her house, bed times, nap times, snack times, dinner times etc., even down to the time outs if she misbehaves (as much as we hate to) we want this transition from our house to hers to be as easy as possible and want her to know that different houses doesn’t mean there are different rules! I also want her to know about the things I try to do or have done with her when she is here, so that she doesn’t feel like an outsider. Is there I way that I can try to develop some type of relationship with my future husbands ex, that is healthy and open as opposed to it being a resentful and painstaking relationship?
Sorry this is a little long winded, I am trying to give you all a background on the relationship as it is now… feel free to ask questions
Thank you for your responses… and any additional info you can offer me is extremely helpful also!
Lovin_Life… I do not think you are too young at all, in fact I think it is great that you responded because it opens my eyes to the other side, the kid side and I love that! As adults we sometimes lose sight of how the child feels and that isnt right. We need to include them every step of the way, which is what I try to do with her when she is here, even though she is so young, I think when she gets older she will appreciate that more!
THANK YOU
and to Domi E thank you for your honesty, I held my breathe posting this b/c I was prepared for someone to bash me telling me I need to know my roll and back out of the childs life or something similar, since I read other Step Parenting questions prior to posting this one.
Thank you!
I was really looking forward to having the entire week off from work due to spring break (I work at a school in the office) and being with my little girl. BUT I forgot how "bad" I am at feeding her! whenever my mil watches her, she always says "oh she ate so much today". well either she’s got the magic touch or she’s force feeding her b/c I can’t get my own daughter to eat and it makes me want to cry.
Here’s a typical food-wise day for her w/me al day:
—this morning—sat her at the table with me in a regular chair, (shes able to sit like a big person), with some strawberries n’ cream cream of wheat. I have cream of wheat too and eat in front of her. She refused, ran away, i told her sternly to come back or i’m throwing it away, she laughs, i then physically get her and sit her on my lap, get her to take one bite then she runs away again. So, then i figure maybe shes not in the mood for hot cereal, so i get her rice crispies instead. She had maybe 5 spoonfuls (of a big spoon) and that was it.
—Snack: some strawberries and grapes in a bowl, usually this is a hit even w/me but today she had 2 bites and threw the rest on the carpet.
—Lunch; I made bowtie pasta w/pasta sauce and some broccoli and cheese sauce mixed in. to me it was pretty good, she took maybe 6 spoonfuls and that was it. I then offered her a yogurt, the strawberry flavor that she usually likes, and she ran off. Also, between the 6 spoonfuls it was a battle: she would take 1 bite, then run off. i firmly told her to come back, shed laugh, I’d go and fetch her. I then finally sucked up and turned on abby cadabby on youtube for her (that usually gets ehr distracted enough to open ehr mouth and eat0. With that only the 2 last bites.
2nd snack: milk w/some dry cheerios and grapes, had all the milk, only like 5 cheerios and 2 grapes. These are her fave sometimes.
tonight i plan on making lasagana, the frozen kind. the kind my mom makes she will tear up even when i feed it to her, hopefully it will be the same for this.
I am really feeling discouraged that i have so much trouble convincing her to eat, that i put in all this effort making things for her that i think are healthy and also tasty only to throw most of it away. I am so desperate and i don’t know what to do. I am frustrated and puzzled as to why my mil, my mom, even her dad, and even the DAYCARE PROVIDER, a near stranger, can get her to sit and eat and i can’t. My mom says she’s playing a game w/me. is she do you think? I wish this game would stop. if only she knew how sad it made Mommy feel lol.
also she doesn’t run out of energy, she can go all day on just a few bites and a few sips of any liquid, it bugs me lol how she manages to do this and not need food that much.
I took her to the dr’s today for a cough that’s ongoing, and brought this up too. They said it was a separate issue and required a separate appt so next tues I can say all this to the pedi. She said it did sound like a cause for concern—getting her to just sit and eat—b/c it’s been ongoing. She’s 20 months btw.
also, when she was younger i introduced solids to her in a highchair, so it’s not like she started out just being able to get up while eating. I had her in her highchair til about 15 mons old then i decided to take the daycare provider’s advice and let her eat liek a ‘big person" sitting ina regular chair. but now i think i should bring the highchair back and so does the pediatrician i saw today. but I stopped bc it did seem too confinign and she was always doing potentially dangerous things in it like try to climb out even when strapped in etc.
Why is she like this w/ mainly just me?
Any other moms dealing/dealt with similar behavior eating-wise?
k; i DO give her a variety. What i gave her today was not the same as what i offered yesterday, or the day before. BUT i do try and give her things she will predictably eat, like cheerio’s.
how is what i’m doing ‘utterly crazy’? it’s only utterly crazy bc of the way SHE acts. but you’re right: i need to not coax her or praise her, and treat eating as more a casual thing.
Also, I don’t only spoon-feed her, I offer her plenty of finger foods (grapes, fries, pasta, dry cereals, blocks of cheese, cut up steamed veggies0 but even then she runs away or throw it on the floor. so sometimes spoon-feeding her is the only way i can get her to take bites.
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