I just don’t understand the logic behind it ! there will always be resentment,yet some still hang around for the bitter pain !
Murphy”s Freaking Technology Laws;
- You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the freaking track.
- Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong freaking conclusion with confidence.
- Whenever a system becomes completely freaking defined, some damn fool discovers something which either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition.
- Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not freaking understand.
- If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, the first freaking woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
- The opulence of the freaking front office decor varies inversely with the fundamental solvency of the firm.
- The attention span of a computer is only as long as it’s freaking electrical cord.
- An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.
- To spot the expert, pick the one who predicts the freaking job will take the longest and cost the most.
- Nothing freaking motivates a man more than to see his boss putting in an honest day’s work.
- Some people manage by the book, even though they have no idea who wrote the book or even what freaking book.
- The primary function of the design engineer is to make things difficult for the fabricator and impossible for the serviceman.
- After all is said and done, a hell of a lot more is said than freaking done.
- Any circuit design must contain at least one part which is obsolete, two parts which are unobtainable and three parts which are still under development. (For confirmation… oh never mind most of us know this)!
- A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple freaking system that works.
- If mathematically you end up with the incorrect answer, try multiplying by the page number.
- Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable. Any system which depends on freaking human reliability is unreliable.
- Give all freaking orders verbally. Never write anything down that might go into a "Pearl Harbor File."
- Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint onit and he’ll have to touch to be sure.
- All freaking great discoveries are made by mistake.
- Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget. (Can I get an Amen?)
- All’s well that freaking ends.
- A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the F’ing hours are lost.
- The first myth of management is that it even exists.
- A freaking failure will not appear till a unit has passed final inspection.
- New systems generate new problems.
- We don’t know one millionth of one percent about anything.
- Any given program, when running, is freaking obsolete.
- Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from F’ing magic.
- The more cordial the buyer’s secretary, the greater the odds that the competition already has the freaking order.
- In designing any type of construction, no overall dimension can be totaled correctly after 4:30 p.m. on Friday. The F’ing correct total will become self-evident at 8:15 a.m. on Monday.
- Fill what’s empty. Empty what’s full. And scratch where it freaking itches.
- All things are possible except skiing through a revolving door.
- The only perfect science is hind-sight.
- Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, volume, humidity, and other variables the thing being tested will do as it freaking well pleases. (Especially amps, guitars, Harps and other music crap).
- If you can’t understand it, it is intuitively obvious.
- If it’s not in the computer, it doesn’t freaking exist.
- Work smarder and not harder and be carfull of yor fuxing speling.
- If a F’ing experiment works, something has gone wrong.
- When all else fails, read the freaking instructions.
- If there is a possibility of several things going wrong the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
- Everything that goes up must freaking come down. (Usually on your head when you least expect it).
- Any freaking instrument when dropped will roll into the least accessible corner.
- Any simple theory will be worded in the most complicated freaking way.
- Build a system that even a fool can use and only a fool will want to use it.
- The degree of technical competence is F’ing proportional to the level of management.
- Any attempt to print Murphy’s laws will jam the freaking printer.
http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/
From; Willys Jokes Archeives
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I’ll have you decide by my complaints of both parties, that also talk about what I believe
Complaints about Liberals:
Government/cigarettes – you cry for less government but want the government to intervene in your everyone’s life, like banning flavored cigarettes…that bones the right of free-market, while you’re at it ban beer to. With that logic, you might as well ban everything that’s appealing to youngsters with ONLY minor potentials to get into bad habbits, like movies with guns or even cartoons, correct me if I’m wrong, but that IS government controlling people’s personal lives. Besides, what ever happened to parents?
Gun Control – Yes there should be some type of control with guns, but very limited. It’s going against the amendment. It’s protection. If guns are out of reach and you get robbed (because gun control won’t stop thugs from getting guns, I know this, I used to live in the "hood", the only person to save you would be cops, you’re dead by then. The good guys need guns to protect ourselves from bad guys.If you don’t like guns, don’t buy them, but don’t tell me I can’t
Soda – just because you drink soda excessively and can’t take care of your teeth/body, don’t make the people who can drink soda responsibly stop or try and tax it.
Racial Issues – Just because people’s families were racist jerks to each other some generations back doesn’t mean I have to apologize to non-whites my whole life. There’s no reason for me to, because I’m not racist.
Death Penalty – I shouldn’t even have to explain this. If you pity a murderer/rapist, you’re sad. There has to be some kind of extreme to prevent this, making the death penalty illegal won’t make murderers and rapists stop, it will increase the crime rate!!! They already kill/rape as it is, while KNOWING they could get a death penalty if they get caught.
(not that many)Complaints About Conservatives
Gays – Just mind your own business, not one religion owns the right of marriage, they all just do it.. You guys act like there’s some "religion headquarters" that says they’re messing up the religions. That’s like me saying you can’t eat tortillas because the mexican/native indian people invented it, so you’re disrespecting their culture.
Marijuana – Sorry to sound like a hippie, but It’s not a drug, it’s a plant. You can’t OD from it no matter how much you smoke. It’s scientifically proven that it’s almost harmless and in some cases healthy. If your argument is "we can’t have people high all the damn time" well, I could say "we can’t have people drunk all the time", it’s a matter of making sure people are smart with it, just like we have all the laws with alcohol. And besides I’ve never smoked with friends and woke up and have they say "dude, you know what you did last night? you banged an ugly fat chick, got in a fight with a bum and pissed yourself" – *AHEM* alcohol *ahem* (I like drinking btw)
Nationalism – Now this one doesn’t tic me off, it’s just really annoying. There is nothing wrong with loving your country, but some people get so crazed they almost have this militant nationalism…that can lead to bad things. We don’t own the world, europeans aren’t as bad as you think, just calm down. It’s so bad that some people have gone to other countries waving american flags saying how bad their country sucks….I’m serious.
But I’m for freedom, so if you wanna get that crazy over your country, that’s your choice….it’s just annoying
Religion – Believe what you want, just don’t force it down my throat or go around acting like your religion is the only one that exists or more "correct."
I could go on and on, but I’ll stop here. Remember, just complaints/opinions, don’t take it too seriously.
Btw, I know this more of a rant than a question, so what, sue me, it’s still in question form
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Does anyone know how I can salvage my broken relationship with my girlfriend?
She is not interested in me any more,she is saying she is fed up with things i have been doing of course its not infedelity if i might i call it.
I have apologised a million times but she cant forgive me.
I value our relationship alot,we have come from a far and we were about to finish our journey soon,getting married,we have been courting for four years now.
She has hardened her heart, she is my world, I wont go anywhere else but to her.
The more iIhave been pressing for forgiveness,the furthest she is drifting away from me. I know there should be ways of how i can get my ex back and love her like i have never done before.
Please I need your urgent help. I have these mistakes listed down already. Warning: – Reassuring my ex that i have “changed” so things will be different from now on.
- Trying to use logic to show her why she SHOULD come back to me
- Telling her that i love her
- Begging her to come back.
- Acting depressed so she would feel bad for me
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I have been talking to this girl for about 5 months. And we had alot in common. music and stuff. I asked her out and she didnt give me an answer rite away. So i said "Take your time ok" She said alrite. so i was waiting for a while and couldnt take it. So i went out and bought her roses. 70 dollar roses. And i made sure she was feeling me. Like I asked her the day before if I was cute and she said "yeah" and i asked if she could come up to me and say that she said "yeahhhh" so i had a really good feeling it would work out for me. i sent her the roses and she died. She loved them. She told me it was one of the cutest sweetest things any guy has ever done for her. I said well im just a charmer. She said shed call me after dinner. So i was on AIM talking with her. And i asked her for an answer. She said "NO". And I was devastated. I felt so bad. I wanted to kill myself i felt so bad. And then i said to her if ur with a guy tommorow I’ll kill him. Not really meaning it. And she wont speak
to me. Her reason was that she flirts to much and she said she was sorry. But now i feel so bad that i scared her so much. I have had quite a few threats from people. And i just want a good way to get her to talk with me again.
She also said she didnt want to hurt my feelings. And idk wut to do. Im still upset over the whole thing and feel like she was the only 1 who made me feel better when i was sad. And she was. I feel like no one else can do that for me. I am a very depressed person if u havent noticed. And i need some1 to answer me.
Hey ok i dont seriously mean that at all and i bought them cause i thought she liked me. But she just lead me on a wild goose chase for so long thats why i was so pissed off.
Any one who says im a creep is wrong. Im 15 and shy ok and i think it was bold what i did and guess wut i have to fite someone next wensday cause of wut i did.
thanx to everyone else who was actually positve
=] made me feel a little better with the logic
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> > > > > > HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
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