Finding Self
“All the world is a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and entrances; each man in his time plays many parts.” Those words were penned nearly five hundred years ago by the playwright William Shakespeare, yet the message expressed in them still endures in today’s world. We each enact a variety of roles throughout our life, but unlike actors, we are not always given the choice in the parts we play. Daughter, sister, friend, scholar, and athlete are only a number of the assorted roles I currently portray. The above mentioned roles however, are bequeathed to me, they are not necessarily the ones I would choose for myself. I am much more than someone’s shoulder to cry on, a varsity cross country runner, and a straight “A“ student. I am a hopeless romantic, a harmonious individual, and an unyielding force when it comes to my convictions.
Hans Christen Andersen fabricated a fairy tale based upon it. Black Sabbath sang a song about it. Doc Brown from Back to the Future did it, as did Captain Kirk from Star Trek. What was it they did? They time traveled. If I could have but one wish, it would be to defy the fourth dimension of our universe and meander through history. There are many moments when I feel that I was born into the wrong century. It is not that I do not appreciate the luxuries of the modern world, I do; heaven only knows how I would function without my laptop and music system. Then however, there are instances when I honestly believe that I could give all of it up for a world filled with elegantly dressed women, and courteous, refined men. To a great extent, I am a hopeless romantic at heart. Put simply, I do believe in true love and fairy tales. I am an idealist, a sentimental dreamer, and a imaginative, fanciful person. The things I read and the movies I watch greatly reflect this. Jane Austen’s works particularly fascinate me. All of her novels generally conclude with the heroine finding her hero and marrying him. Her characters: Elizabeth Bennet and Fitzwilliam Darcy, Emma Woodhouse and George Knightley, Marianne Dashwood and Christopher Brandon, all seem to have been created for each other. In a world full of Facebook hookups, and text message break-ups it is nice to imagine that one person out of the six billion on this planet is sculpted just for us. Nicholas Sparks also plays heavily on the idea of an everlasting romance. In the 2004 film The Notebook, based upon his novel, two young lovers are separated for years because of their social differences, but then reunite later in life thanks to a chance article in the local newspaper. Today, we live in a cynical world, full of scientists and their explanations. The worlds of both Jane Austen’s and Nicholas Spark’s characters were much different. Their eras were full of galas and ornate houses, or small town ice cream socials, and late night dances down by the river. During their eras, there was no scientific data to disprove the existence of miracles. I do believe in miracles, no matter how miniscule or life changing they are. To quote George Sand, a French writer, “there is but one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.”
Although my head is often in the clouds, spinning with dreams of fairy tales and Prince Charming, many times I am surprised by my composure in every situation. I am the person friends turn to when they are in need of advice. I am the person whom parents entrust their children’s safety to . Most importantly of all, I am a peacemaker. The one thing I detest more than anything is violence. Contact sports? Not my thing. Fights in the hallways? I turn and walk quickly in the opposite direction. Intense, gory movies? I cringe. The list goes on and on. It is my belief that we are all in the same boat, and we need this boat to get wherever it is that we are going. It is a good boat. There is no need to rock it just to show that we can. As we mature, each of us discovers our own unique talents. This year, I have uncovered one of mine. I work well under stress. In fact, I thrive when placed under a time constraint or deadline. My first period class, Advanced Placement World History, is a prime example of this. Essays are the basis for the class, and more often than not, they are timed. We are typically given ten minutes to plan. Those brief seconds are crucial, they essentially make or break an essay. I love those anxious, nerve wracking moments. The rush I get is indescribable. Classmates rapidly fire questions at me, and I calmly, thoroughly answer each in turn. Then, just like that, the stress is gone and so is my surge of adrenaline. Those brief moments however, are enough to make me realize how well I cope with pressure.
Coping with pressure has proved to be a valuable trait both in the classroom and out. People change; this I learned the hard way. Individuals I have looked up to in previous years have lost all my respect. The decisions they have mad
We have beeen married 5 years. Normal ups and downs. Second for both. He is 56 I am 48.
I am unemployed but have been looking for work for a couple of years now. no jobs in the only thing have ever done-dental office for 20+ years. We were making it on his pay-but no more luxuries like when I was working.
His ex-wife who is out of state called him out of the blue a few months ago. After 19 years apart. They have one daughter 30, and she knows he remarried. She is going through a bad divorce and now realizes after all these years my husband was the only one for her!
He left her because she cheated on him repeatedly.
I found a text on his phone-a gut feeling told me to check. She left him one saying she was so happy he would be giving her another chance and she would never hurt him again!
Long story short, he is leaving me for her. I was a good loving, faithful wife. I made a nice home for him and denied him nothing. She makes good money and part of me thinks he is sick of supporting me and going without, With her they would live high on the hog.
I am in shock. I am hurting so badly because I cannot even imagine why someone would choose a cheater over the real thing. She told him she changed. They have been emailing for a while, and I asked him why as it was disrespectful to me. He said she was only calling him because she has no family and no one else and it would stop. It didn’t and escalated into this. After 20 years apart?
The house was mine when we married-in my name only. There is zero equity in it so if I sold it I might not even break even. I have no money of my own. Even though i could temporarily stay with my parents for a while, I will be homeless without anything but the clotthes on my back. I can’t afford to store my furniture with no money.
I spoke to a lawyer and he said the most I could get for alimony is maybe 0 week for a couple of years. I am losing not only my marriage but everything I worked so hard for all of my life. i have no choice-my family has no money either. My 18 year old son from first marriage lives with me. he is crushed as he really loved his step-dad. Now at 48 I will be moving in with my parents and filing bancruptcy. No money to pay credit cards, car ins., etc.
What was he thinking? The money? That she really changed? My lawyer said she didn’t really want HIM, but the security and familiarity of him after her second husband left her.
How can I cope? My world has disappeared in a matter of days. I know I could never take him back after this (IF he ever wanted that) I am just so confused-what was he thinking????
We are living our lives, she calls out of the blue after no contact for years, and now my marriage is over. Please advise I am losing everything I ever had and I am crushed in every way.



