We’ve been separated for a while…we have 2 young children together. He filed for divorce 7 mos ago but has not taken the steps to finish it. It seems like he wants me to finish it for him since I have a lawyer and he doesn’t, but that shouldn’t stop him from moving on with the papers himself. We have nothing to divide or settle, really. I’ve filed for child support and was granted sole custody last week (filed these things way before he filed for a divorce).

I have been moving on with all areas of my life except in the love dept. I’ve gone back to school to work on a 2nd degree in the medical field and to also work on my MBA part-time. He on the other hand has not improved as much…deep inside I feel he is a great guy who has made some real bad mistakes (in our marriage) and I feel like we can, if we both put in the effort, to be a family again.

I don’t like feeling like I still love him but sometimes can’t help it because we were once together and we have kids together.

A good friend told me to make sure I have peace about any decisions I make regarding the divorce. My Pastor told me to let the divorce go on (the process) and to not get in the way of it. Well, my feeling like it’s all on him, it’s his decision because he is the one who filed it.

He’ll call once in a while and while I’d rather keep our convos strictly about the kids, he will go off topic discussing his life and asking questions about mine…but doing it in a way that makes it not obvious.

Sometimes, when my kids are talking to him, he’ll ask them where I am or what I’m doing. He may also tell them to give the phone to me, but most of the time I refuse to speak because it still hurts and I feel I would be well on my way to the road towards healing if I cut him off. I mean he can call the kids when ever he’d like, but I don’t think I can be friends with him and not feel anything for him at the same time.

What do you guys think about this? He said he wants someone who wants to do something good with their life and someone who is moving towards a positive direction..including someone who puts God first. And I’m thinking to myself (you HAD her…me…) I’ve even abstained from sex for almost 3 years because it is my belief that I only share my body with my husband.

Sometimes I feel like yelling at him and telling him "you’re looking for something that you already know!!!!!!!" But like others have told me…it’s just best to let it go, he will come back (and straighten up) if it’s meant to be…

what do you think?

it hurts to think I should personally cut him off…but then again it may help me to heal even better…

We haven’t seen each other in almost 3 years.

I’m planning to take a trip where he lives (with our kids) this summer. to also get a sense of closure…

He told me about 2 weeks ago that he does not have any animosity towards me (he was the one unfaithful in the marriage) and that HE is tired and wants to be free. Well, ok, well I feel like HE is the who filed, HE is the one who’s been living a single life. Why should I be the one to finish it? I know it is not good to stay in limbo for a long time. If this continues, I eventually will have to decide to finish it for him, but I don’t feel comfortable doing it now…

In addition, should I tell him how I feel? Or should I just leave things alone and let the chips fall where they may…


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