well.. how do I start? It seems that my wife and I had a complete break down in communication. I am going to our holiday gift exchanges as examples.. and I need your input.
Birthdays: For her birthday, I left work early to get her a pearl necklace, a birthday card, cook her dinner and bought her a cake. She got mad at me because I was too dumb to buy her a fake pearl necklace (which I relaced with a real one later). For my birthday, she got me a robe.
X-mas: I got her a digital photo frame (8") (0) and she got me pajamas and a book (total ).
Valentines day: I got her expensive flowers and cake. I got nothing in return.
Oh.. did I mention we have not had any romantic relationship for like 16 months…. ? I don’t know if there is any way we could save this relationship….. the major problem is our communication is just terrible. she constantly seems to be attacking me and when i voice my concerns, she tells me that I am whinning… i am kind of fed up….
we’ve been together for over 10 years. things are getting worse. all concerns that i have becomes whinning to her. the way i describe it sounds like i am keeping scores, but how else can i describe it? i can not talk to her for more then 2 sentences about anything of substance before i get attacked. when she misunderstood me, she latches on her interpretation and won’t allow me to explain. gifts? all i am asking for to exchange them and get what i want. i don’t think she would be happy with a toaster.. would you? so i avoid giving her a toaster and i don’t think it is too much to ask her to do the same for me. it is getting worse and truste me, i have tried many things. i sense that she has no love left for me and perhaps, that will be the way that this will end. i feel terrible, because the time and memory that we shared. but i also know that her heart is not in it…. i guess i already know the answer.
i am very sad about this because i really would like to love and take care of someone who i have shared memories with for the rest of our lives. but i am so drained emotionally and mentally and the lack of romance in our relationship is eating me alive (i have many opportunities to go outside our marriage, but did not). sometimes i look at her, i still remember the way she looked when we first met and thinking about what has been going on between us, makes me very sad. i think there is a genuine lack of respect in our relationship and i really do not know if that can ever be changed. she may be having an affair… but at this point, if she would just tell me I swear I would wish both of them well and get out of this relationship. i am just so tired from all of this… and i want to know WHY .. and that would be good enough for me.
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