He just announced suddenly wthat he was going to move in with my best friend one day as I came home from work. I am devasted, but going to counseling to work on ME–as I am heartbroken. I do want to try to put this marriage back together. I know her VERY well & also know she moved in w/multiple men in the past (Just didn’t think it would be MY hus) & she is very impulsive. I think they are feeling the flush of infatuation & we were feeling the burdens of poor communication & poor attention to each other. He is also almost 50 yrs old–poss mid-life crisis?? HELP!!!!
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Long story short. My husband can get away with calling his ex wife that he was not in contact with for many years and I was the one that pushed him to contact his (kids) Now his kids are 23 and 21 but when they are not home he is talking to his ex for about 1 hour and calls the next night for another 1/2 hour. He doesn’t tell me when he calls (very seldom) but I know when he does call. I have the right to know I think being married to him for 14 years.
He and I have a good close marriage but he told me she is my friend.
I am so upset and hurt inside that I find when he calls and I have spoke to him about it but he doesn’t seem to cut this back. I understand a father should keep in touch with his kids but I tracked calls from November until now and it has been 15 calls and sometimes for one hour at a time.
My father doesn’t call me or my sister or brother this much maybe once every week or two.
His kids are 23 and 21 and they are out on a friday night so I found he called at 1015pm and spoke to her until 11pm
She is 56 and he is 49 and I wonder why would he do this to me. Is he wanting another friendship ? Is he lacking something with me? They live 5 hours away from us and maybe this is his mid life crisis?
She never remarried so of course I am sure likes speaking to him but how much can they speak about and about what.
They were only married for 5 years and during those years he was away for 2 years and then left her in 1990 ( not for me)
I am truly hurt over this and don’t know what I should think?
My mom said they have a past and history together. They have kids. I can understand if the kids were older but 23 and 21 … he can call once every week or two but not 1 hour on xmas the next night at 10pm for 1/2 hour then on 12/29 and 1/2 for 1 hour … while I was out.
The thing is I never met her and the kids do not want to meet me. He tried over and over to talk to them but they can not accept all these years later that he is not with their mother.
It is driving me nuts because I was the one who told him about 3 years ago get to know his kids & it backfired in my face.
Of course I know he should call his kids but if you saw on the bill how much he calls and your not around and wonder what can be said, what can be spoken about…
My husbands mother is close with her and dislikes and she adds my fire to this whole deal by telling them things.
it truly is taking an effect on me. As much as I tell him it is bothering me, he seems to be ignoring and disrespecting my feelings.
Any advice.
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well… she is going through a 30-yr old mid-life crisis. she’s wanting to stay with friends all the time. even though we have a 3-yr old daughter.
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I love my husband and we have young kids and I’m not ready to end it. I’m thinking his affair is a mid life crisis thing even though he is 35. I think we can work through the bad for the sake of our kids. I just don’t know how to get him to end it with her it’s been well over a year. Any serious suggestions from anyone who has survived infidelity?
1 more thing: married 10 yrs & no sex in 6 months.
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