Why don't women leave married men alone?

I wouldn’t want anything to do with a guy who is in a relationship or married. Why be number 2 in his life when there are single men out there? So many women don’t seem to care about the damage they are doing to another woman’s relationship. I really wish there was more of a sisterhood mentality in this. I wouldn’t want to make another woman miserable or break up her family. And the way she got him will most likely be the way she loses him, by cheating. If she does get him — most cheaters don’t leave for the mistress. Why are there so many women out there who don’t care about crossing that line?
I simply would not get involved with a man who’s taken. It’s not right and I wouldnt want anyone to go through that pain. I’ve been through it. The town I live in is horrible as far as women not caring who they hurt just to get some. They will mess with anyone’s man and not care. It is a relatively small town where secrets aren’t kept long. It is well known we are together but that doesn’t stop them. There are females who I considered friends, not close, but still friends who don’t hide their "crush" on my husband. I know he loves me, but I also know people make mistakes. And if some skank did succeed I know she would not be the only one to blame. This one woman told me she thought my husband was an @$&hole when he and I were first together and I introduced them. Well it seems her attitude has changed now cuz she gets all giggly and crap. It’s just annoying because I thought she was a friend. It’s just annoying that it seems like no women can be trusted, at least here.


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is it possible my husband loves this ex mistress and did want to see her one last tie but does not want her?

I ask because he has made NO further attempts to contact her; I gather she is on holiday (at home, and he is working) but as far as I know, he has NOT contacted her. Assume this is the truth.

So – was their meeting last week just coincidence?

History is:

In Feb this year I caught my husband cheating with a woman for a whole year and apparently he was on the verge of leaving me for her but we worked through it. He swore that was it with her. Although he said he had loved her. She sent me all his messages and texts and IMs and in these, he expressed his love for her, said he didn’t want to be with me, I was sexless and cold, but SHE was vibrant, sexy and made him feel loved and able to love again.

After I found out, he cut her off and was horrible to her. He also denied he "meant" what he said in the years’ worth of those messages. BUT –

He went back to her many many times over 6 months, after he promised me that he would cut her out of his life for good – most recently in August when he went to her work, asked the guard to call her down, she got into his van to hear him out ..

The next thing you know, my husband is arrested for ‘sexual assault’ in September. He was finally released without charge 2 weeks ago, and that was that, but they have been warned to stay away from each other.

PRESENT DAY:

As some of you know, lately (last 2 weeks) he has watched her from his work van as she walks from her office to the station; he DOES genuinely have jobs in that street but he HAS watched her as opposed to hiding behind a newspaper as he sits in his van/looking away, etc.

This has happened 3 times in 3 weeks, and each time, he has stared, and she has walked on, not stopping.

THIS TIME, SHE STOPPED AND THEY TALKED.

I can’t believe it. If the sexual assault arrest has not made him hate her WHAT THE F*CK WILL???

This is what they talked about, which I know because his partner driver "felt I should know" – he was not there but was nearby -

Admitted to her that he HAD indeed been waiting for her to approach him all those times he was parked near her work, and asked why she had been "running past" him!
Apparently he "forgave" her for having him arrested.
He wished her a happy belated birthday.
He asked how her new house was going.
Oh this is good; he asked why he "could not find her" on Facebook.
He asked her ‘can I trust you now?’ (!!)
He said ‘will you let me wave at you if I drive past you?’
She told him another guy had got obsessed with her lately and he said "See I told you you were dangerous" – what does that mean?

Please can someone decipher the things he said to her,AND tell me why would he give her the time of day?

This was last Monday but even on Tuesday, apparently he passed her in his truck and beeped & waved at her!

I am concerned as to what he plans next.


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I want to save my marriage. Is it wise of me to ignore the fact my husband still has a long term mistress?

I don’t want to give my husband up so should I just act as if I don’t care about him having long term mistress? I still want my marriage to work. Its been over 2yrs since they’ve been together but, we have 15yrs and 4kids invested. Right now we are separated but, spend time with our children. I don’t have sex with him just starting over like friends.

When should I ask him to let her go – When he talk of reconcile?


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Why won’t my husband give up his long term mistress and move back home? Honest answers please?

He won’t divorce me. I filed out of frustration and never followed up with courts. He is a great father, great provider for me and kids. He won’t answer my questions about why this happened to us. He say’s if he wanted to file for divorce he would. He is really respectful to me without having any sex or intimacy. He shows up for family gatherings then leaves and spend his nights with her!

FYI: married 9yrs his affair has been going on over 2yrs


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My mistress may have to move back to her home state permanently. Should I write her husband a letter?

She is in sales and in my town most of each month and we’ve had a wonderful relationship, filling in our voids with lousy spouses. But due to financial reasons, she may need to move back to her home state permanently. We’d be over.

Her husband somehow got my email address at one point and wrote some barely literate emails to me I never replied to. Seemed pretty despondent about the affair. I felt bad for him but realize if it weren’t with me, she’d just sleep with someone else most likely (I was not the first affair).

Anyhow, if she goes back, he’ll need to step up his game. Maybe I could send him some instructions on how to please this woman? She’s complicated and he just doesn’t have the skill set. But with some tips, maybe he could be passable and improve?


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