Is my life in jeopardy? Am I dishonest? And should I consider my case seriously?

Okay, you have never been on a date, kissed or have never fell in love until one day this person came along to give you your first opportunity. Holding that person in your arms for the first time felt strange to you. The kisses were fresh out of the box. Your heart had a brand new rhythm at that time, and it was your first time ever having something to love. Needless to say such person was your first true love.

I remember her fairly well. In fact, I think about her every single day of my life, even when I am now married to someone else. And the love we shared back then was the best thing I ever experienced in my whole life, and it seems like I will die thinking about her.

I feel this is wrong of me. I love my wife very much. I want to be with my wife forever. But when I compared the love I have for my wife now and the love I had/have for my ex, result revealed that my love for my ex is by far greater…

This makes my wife a little uncomfortable, which, of course, she has all right to be. But she is so open-minded and understanding — she understands that my ex was my first girlfriend and was the first girl I ever fell totally in love with.

I’ve been trying over the past few years to totally forget my ex. I’ve distanced myself ( 3000 miles away) from her. I’ve even not seen her now for more than 5 years. We don’t talk to each other. However, I cannot get over my ex :-(

Sometimes, I go to the park alone here in the USA to cry. Sometimes my daughter would ask me " Dad, why are tears falling from your eyes? What is the matter?"

In middle of the nights ( not all nights) I would leave my room and go downstairs to cry. The last time I cried over my ex was just this past Tuesday :-(

I think the reason I am hurt so much from our separation is that we didn’t actually break up. We just could not see each other anymore. My parents were the cause. Mom and Dad decided to go their separate ways, and I had no choice than to go with my Mom at that time. When I became independent and responsible, it was too late — my ex had no choice other than to move on, especially since she has not heard from me for 4 consecutive years. I did send a letter, but right after I left home she moved to another parish to live with her aunt. So my letter to her was not received

I don’t have any desire to make her my woman again. No, that feeling is not there anymore. But I keep thinking about her and the love we once shared, and that is making me very sad and uneasy.

What should I do? Who should I talk to? Where should I seek for help?


Related Information:

My parents say they will cut me off if I get back with him…?

My ex and I dated for 2 years. I broke up with him nearly 7 months ago. we even stopped talking for over 3 months, during that time I tried hanging out with a guy I knew my parents liked, being around him only made me miss my ex more. I originally just wanted to take a break my mom convinced me to just end it. I needed some time to figure things out. I had just graduated high school, I wasn’t exactly sure what I wanted to go to college for… the time between high school and college can be difficult, and if your dating some one it doesn’t help any… I knew my parents aren’t the biggest fan of him, they focus on the bad, which mom says is BAD, but its not, hes not a a druggy or an alcoholic, hes never been to jail, hes never hit or abused me, hes never cheated on me. Mom swears he doesn’t support me, but he absolutely does, He supports me going to school, and is hoping I get into the vet tech program as much as I do. He also supports my hobby (photography) and wants to take me on day trips to take pictures, and have me teach him about my camera, lighting, and positioning (etc.)
He joined the volunteer fire dept. which has helped him mature, and realize things that were wrong in our relationship. He and I have been talking for a little while now about getting back together, we have talked about what could make our relationship much better. We spent wayyy too much time at my house, we didn’t have much money so all we did was hung around here, and it made our relationship boring. Being around the house also let mom and dad see pretty much every argument we ever had, which is something most parents don’t always see. We didn’t have many arguments, and when we did it was over stupid stuff, but its also healthy to have arguments in relationships.

I talked to my parents last night and came clean about wanting to get back with him, and that I have seen him some. That didn’t go over well, the worst probably is that I saw him behind their back, and lied to them about seeing him (but I couldn’t tell them because then theyd freak out and NOT let me see him…) They said if I continue to see him or even talk to him, they will stop paying car insurance, cell phone, and for school. At one point mom even said "theres the road you can pack your bags." how is any of that fair?
I don’t understand why they are freaking out so much, I am 19 yrs old, being treated like a 12 yr old. If he and I aren’t meant to be together then I need to find that out for myself. If I don’t get this second chance I will just wonder ‘what if’ the rest of my life, and it will be heard to get over him. If it doesn’t work out and I get hurt, then I just need to learn from them expeirence and continue on. I can’t be happy and make everyone else happy also. I REALLY do love him and he feels the same about me.

thanks for reading this, any SERIOUS advice is greatly appreciated
REMEMBER I broke up with him, and not for any major reasons, just that I needed to find myself….


Related Information:

Breaking up? Break? How do i fix this?

ok so my boyfriend and i semi brokeup, i want to go on a break but he says he doesnt know,
we talk about everything to eachother, we are literaly best friends but this year was his first year in college and its been really hard for him, i know hes never cheated and he never would , (his mom and dad cheated on eachother and he hates the entire concept)
so thats not an issue, but hes having a really hard time at school with all his new friends (who are assholes) and trying to balance school, work, his friends, and me.
i told him i understand and i think we need a break to settle everything and we both still love eachother so i think it will work out.
is there anything i can do to really show him that i care about him, dont want to loose him, but understand how important and hard all of this is to him?


Related Information:

what am I going to do with my husband’s ex-wife trying to get back with him?

Me and my husband has been married for 5 years now and we’re trying to have our first child. my husband has an 8 year old son with his first marriage. They got divorced in 2002 and both of them are now married and have their own family. My husband’s ex-wife have 3 children from her current husband and lately, she’s been telling my husband that she’s not happy with her marriage. My husband has been telling me about the calls that his ex-wife made talking to him about considering of getting back together and how to work things out with the kids. We have my husband’s son every weekend and she would send box of cookies to us through the kid and lately telling my husband that it is best for the kid to hang out with just the two of them (parents) to make him feel that he have his mom and dad and that they spend alone time with him. I was okay with the dinner because it’s not every weekend that they will do this and I told my husband this is not gonna be a weekend thing and my husband agreed. Yesterday, my husband told me that his ex-wife called him again and talked about the chances of them getting back together again, and that she will move back to where my husband want to live and my husband said she sounds like she’s planning. My husband told me that he told his ex-wife it’s never gonna happen. I trust my husband and I know he loves me but I just don’t like what his ex-wife is doing right now. I don’t know if I have to do something or just leave it to my husband. Please, need some valuable ideas. Thank you.


Related Information:

Edit/review the beginning of my story?

How did he know every time I wondered lifting the porcelain doll in the air. I held it close, admiring every inch of it, even how the light reflected off the tiny glass eyes almost making it seem alive. I smiled and set the doll down next to me on top of the layer of shredded wrapping paper that covered the floor. I love Christmas. I love the smell. I love the anticipation. I love taking those beautifully wrapped presents and shredding them apart wildly to see whatever treasure lie inside. Oh, and I really like candy canes. But what I really loved most was the safe feeling I got when my mom and dad wrap me up and read to me in front of the fire and don’t even complain if I eat more than one cookie.
* * *
Mommy and Daddy don’t lie. I asked them one time. I asked specifically at dinner. I remember because it was over spaghetti with tomato sauce which is my favorite meal. After taking a really long time to chew Mommy looked me right in the eyes and said We might not tell you things the things you’re not ready to hear, but we promise we won’t lie to you. I didn’t understand that first part. What could I not be ready for? I know mostly everything already. I know most of the abc’s and I know which ones are vowels. I know that the difference between red and read is that one is a color and I’m only in kindergarten. But I guess that there are some things that I don’t know too. I don’t know why daddy leaves sometimes and why it makes mommy cry and grandma come over with wine and popcorn and old movies to make her feel better. I asked mommy why she was crying one time and she said it wasn’t daddys fault. I asked again. She shooed me away. I guess I’m not ready yet. There are some other things too. Like how come that one time last year on Christmas Eve when I took my sleeping bag downstairs and hid underneath the dining room table I never saw Santa come down the chimney even though I kept my eyes open until I saw the sun peeking through the clouds even though the moon was still out. I remember falling asleep under that table and trying to ignore the burning of tears that was stinging my throat and eyes. But when I woke up there were so many presents. And I remember being so happy that I started to cry again, but this time happy. And I remember brushing tears away with my hand and then noticing the smudge on my hand where the tears had mixed with the ink that said You can’t catch magic. Love, Santa.
Well its for school and Ive got to make it a mystery so I was gonna have her try and find out who santa really was.


Related Information: