Edit/review the beginning of my story?

How did he know every time I wondered lifting the porcelain doll in the air. I held it close, admiring every inch of it, even how the light reflected off the tiny glass eyes almost making it seem alive. I smiled and set the doll down next to me on top of the layer of shredded wrapping paper that covered the floor. I love Christmas. I love the smell. I love the anticipation. I love taking those beautifully wrapped presents and shredding them apart wildly to see whatever treasure lie inside. Oh, and I really like candy canes. But what I really loved most was the safe feeling I got when my mom and dad wrap me up and read to me in front of the fire and don’t even complain if I eat more than one cookie.
* * *
Mommy and Daddy don’t lie. I asked them one time. I asked specifically at dinner. I remember because it was over spaghetti with tomato sauce which is my favorite meal. After taking a really long time to chew Mommy looked me right in the eyes and said We might not tell you things the things you’re not ready to hear, but we promise we won’t lie to you. I didn’t understand that first part. What could I not be ready for? I know mostly everything already. I know most of the abc’s and I know which ones are vowels. I know that the difference between red and read is that one is a color and I’m only in kindergarten. But I guess that there are some things that I don’t know too. I don’t know why daddy leaves sometimes and why it makes mommy cry and grandma come over with wine and popcorn and old movies to make her feel better. I asked mommy why she was crying one time and she said it wasn’t daddys fault. I asked again. She shooed me away. I guess I’m not ready yet. There are some other things too. Like how come that one time last year on Christmas Eve when I took my sleeping bag downstairs and hid underneath the dining room table I never saw Santa come down the chimney even though I kept my eyes open until I saw the sun peeking through the clouds even though the moon was still out. I remember falling asleep under that table and trying to ignore the burning of tears that was stinging my throat and eyes. But when I woke up there were so many presents. And I remember being so happy that I started to cry again, but this time happy. And I remember brushing tears away with my hand and then noticing the smudge on my hand where the tears had mixed with the ink that said You can’t catch magic. Love, Santa.
Well its for school and Ive got to make it a mystery so I was gonna have her try and find out who santa really was.


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How to fall in love with hubby all over again?

Here’s my dilemma: Married to hubby for 3 years, together for 13 years. We met with I was 17 and he was 18, during our freshman year at college. We both had minuscule relationship experience. We are now 31 and 32 years old, with an almost 3 year old, and I am 6 weeks pregnant with baby #2.

My question is: How do I fall in love with my husband all over again? Because I am BORED out of my mind! First, I have to take responsibility for my own actions: not putting enough time and attention into the relationship. It takes 2 to make a marriage work. But I am BORED. Since we became Mommy and Daddy, it became all about our son (which my hubby complained about; he felt left out). And over the years since we’ve become parents, we now live more like roommates.

I find myself easily annoyed with things he does, with the way he doesn’t take care of his body, with the fact that he has no hobbies or interests or friends, with a lot of things. I have even gone so far as to become interested in other men. Wrong, I know.

I want to get on the right track again in my marriage, so how to learn to get rid of some of this boredom and learn to love my hubby again? How do I learn to find him desirable again? How do I learn to WANT to be with him?

We will soon have 2 children, and I don’t want to rip up our family. But I also don’t want to be 50 years old, wondering why I spent so much time with a man that may not have been the right match for me, or feel that I missed out on more compatible, more exciting men.

Any advice?

P.S. Please, no name-calling, or bashing. I just want helpful advice here…..Thanks!
Edited to Add:

Thanks for the helpful suggestions. I agree that we need to move TOWARDS each other instead of AWAY from each other. It’s been too easy to move away from each other, as if the other is some permanent fixture in the room. I am going to do the following: For 2 weeks, I am going to show him undivided attention….love…companionship….NO NAGGING (hard to do!)…..plentiful kissing… a couple dates….and see where it goes.

Yes, we probably should have dated around at 17…hell….even at 25! But we didn’t. And the person that said 31 and with kids is too old to be wondering about that now–you’re absolutely right.

Instead of thinking the grass is greener on the other side of the fence……I’m going to take down the fence :) Or, at least, try to!
Note to Guy bein’ a Guy: Wow, thanks for the kick in the ass I needed. You’re right, I have forgottetn how to be a wife and a lover. I went from LOVER to MOTHER, without wondering that would make my hubby feel. I have shut him out, and as a result, he’s only reacting to ME. I agree that I can’t complain if I am not doing all that I can do to make the relationship better, more exciting. It takes 2 to make it work. Instead of complaining, I’m going to be the instigator of good healthy relationship habits, and see just how far it takes me.

THANKS!!! :)

P.S. Yes, I am a pain in the butt at times ;-)


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How is my Creative Writing Short Story?

A Parent’s Love

When you cannot change the inevitable, you get desperate. When you know the inevitable was something that could hurt your mommy and daddy, you get scared. When you’ve only lived for five years, you tend to wonder why the inevitable is, in fact, the inevitable.

Her parents were not perfect, and she was okay with that. She was prepared to see her mom cry those wishing tears. Those drops of pain always touched Mollie’s delicate soul. Among those dark, ageless nights, Mollie’s mother would watch her little girl sleep silently, happily. Tension had filled the entire household by now, but when the parents entered Mollie’s room, they entered with a smile; with a glimpse of hope.

Her father was just as to blame as her mother. The way he tortured his wife with his angry words was painful, but the way he exclaimed them was even more haunting. Mollie realized her father was hurting, perhaps more so than her mother. He would not communicate his hurt, his guilt, and his emotions. They were bottled up, waiting to be lashed out.

The pressure to live together did not help the declining turmoil of their relationship. It most likely contributed to it. Should they stay together for the acceptance of family? Should they put aside their own lives for their daughter’s? Everything and anything came up in those late-night disagreements.

“Jim, how could you separate this family? You can never be content with what you have! Our little, precious daughter is the only thing that keeps us together. Our love has died! Gone! Dead!”
Deanna focused on her words, hiding the need of breathing. She then trembled as she gasped for air, trying to satisfy the burning sensation within herself. Of course, like every other night, the air never satisfied. Oxygen could never heal the pain of falling out of love.

“Me!? Me?! You do not have the right to blame all this hell on me! I am the mere product of your insecurities, your manipulative ways of thinking that I am not faithful! That is all I am! This marriage is killing me more than it’s killing you! You are a hy-po-crite!”
The way Jim spoke had hurt far worse than the words itself. His voice spoke hate, fear, and death. His heart was dying, and his life was nothing. He worked everyday, paid the bills, and tried to avoid the existence of his wife. Mollie was all he had, and all that could save him.

The night ended like any other night. They separated, one sleeping upon the couch and one claiming the queen-sized bed. You would have thought Virginia would be a pleasant place to raise a family, but the upcoming divorce ruined all peace and happiness. The setting of this story is at the arrival of autumn season. This season is when the crisp leaves of red and yellow collapse onto the ground, and when the little patches of grass hang onto dear life and existence; not knowing that within nine months life would revive. Autumn was a time of harsh breezes and charming, peaceful nights. Maybe this family could find tranquility amongst the bitterness.

This young couple was, in fact, in love at some point. They had never even thought of themselves to become an arguing pair. Deanna and Jim were pretty typical in the dating scene. They started off as friends, then rapidly falling in love, and soon to get engaged. Marriage came about, and within the first year of matrimony, their lovely Mollie was born to the once happy couple.

I guess you could say that all these fights started when Mollie was two, after Jim came home late one night. No one knows why Deanna did what she did, but it could not be erased. She had thrown numerous accusations at her husband, and most were, soon to be found out, false. Though Jim had never let it go.

After this scandal of lies, Jim had accused Deanna of many things. We could go on all day about these fights and dishonesty, but to be entirely truthful here, the only thing that matters in this particular story is the present. This is how divorce arrived into the mind of little Mollie Lynn.

The remaining weeks of September were rather unchanged. Mollie’s parents have pushed limits beyond compare and began to wonder how much longer each person can survive. Mollie, on the other hand, has begun to construct a new mindset.

“Billy, if my mommy and daddy loved me, would they stop hurting each other?” Mollie asked quite simply, quite honestly. Her pale, fragile face stared longingly at Billy King; her only friend. Billy King was just five years old, like his friend, and he was rather intellectual, or so everyone claimed he was. Mollie had learned to put a lot of trust in Billy- he had never hurt her, unlike her parents.

“Well, I dunno. They should… my mommy and daddy yell but they don’t do what your mommy and daddy does.” Billy nodded, agreeing with himself whole heartedly. He had decided on the idea that if someone loves you, then they would do everything in their power to not hurt you. This was the exact opposite of what his f


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