I know the usual answer is to just move on if your girlfriend breaks up with you. Especially in my case since she broke up with me because she felt I didn’t really appreciate her and do things for her a typical boyfriend would do so she slowly lost feelings for me. I know you can’t make someone fall in love with you by force, and even if she likes me, the mere fact we were in a relationship and she called things off would probably be enough for her to never want to date me again.
But since, in life, anything is possible, and I’ve seen it happen, just thought I’d get some constructive thoughts from people who have experience or just know-how they want to share. I’ve read all the posts from other postings that say "move on" and "get on with your life" so comments other than stuff like that would be helpful. I do plan to move on with my life because she may never come back, but compared to previous girlfriends, I felt a special chemistry with this one and regret that I wasn’t able to do more to hold on to her. Not really an excuse, but I just moved to a new country, started a new job, and things were busy and stressful, so timing played a part (when we first met I had more time because it was before I started working and so we did more fun stuff together, but once I started work, it kind of went downhill from there). And the hard part is that I started to get the hang of work just in the past few weeks so was planning on making it up to her with some special events planned, but the damage had already been done. Any stories or tips from girls who have either taken back a boyfriend in such a situation or just sharing how they might take back an ex-boyfriend under certain circumstances would be helpful.
I think right now she just needs some time away because she’s OK with me calling but would prefer not to meet up for the time being because she says it would be too hard for her. I did send one e-mail and make one call when we first broke up asking to get back together (I know, shouldn’t have), but afterwards sent an e-mail saying sorry for making it harder than it is and let’s take some time off until we’ve sorted things out and can be friends. I’m hoping I can make contact as a friend in a few weeks and maybe "rekindle" some of what we had, like people suggest, but would appreciate any thoughts. Some have suggested writing a nice thoughtful e-mail from my heart, but I get the feeling even that would be too much communication right now when she just wants to be able to sort things out in her heart.
Also, any thoughts regarding how she probably views me right now would be helpful. Girls, in this situation, are you angry at your ex-boyfriend somewhat? Sad that it’s over but glad you won’t have to feel sad about the relationship constantly? Confused? Relieved? I did a lot of nice things for her, too, and was always there for her and we never fought and I always made her laugh, but I think by not making her feel special and paying particular attention to big events like her birthday (I took her out to dinner but even I admit it wasn’t planned too well or that thoughtful), she felt under-appreciated, which made her sad. Like the scene in Oceans 11 when George Clooney asks Julia Roberts about Benedict whom she was with then: "Does he make you laugh?" Her reply, "He doesn’t make me cry." Yes, yes, all regrets a little too late, and because I love her, I’m willing to let her move on with her life, but any ideas to help me understand what/how she’s thinking right now and what could be done (even if remote) would be much appreciated. Thank you all in advance.
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