About nine months ago, I became my mother’s caregiver. Everything was going fine until January, when my mother announced a foster child she had raised was coming home for a "visit". I begged my mother not to let her come because 1) I am not particularly close to any of my foster siblings 2) I didn’t want my peace and quiet disturbed by a third person in the house 3) I didn’t want anyone getting in my way as I tried to take care of Mom and 4) I didn’t trust that this was just going to be a visit.
Of course, I turned out to be correct. Shortly after she returned, my foster sister announced she was pregnant (which is why she came back for her "visit"), with no job, no education, no money, and, as far as I can tell, a baby "daddy" who really doesn’t give a crap about her (not that I blame him). It is now April, and she has parked herself comfortably in the house. It annoys me every time I have to look at or listen to her. It is real aggravation to know she’s stuck in the house and there isn’t anything I can do about it. My mother claims my sister plans on leaving once the baby is born, but I don’t believe that for a second. Where is she going to go wtith no job, no education, and no money?
I am 38 years old, male, and resent being in this position. I could easily put my mother in a nursing home and move out but I love my mother too much to do that. I could hire a professional caregiver and move out, but I would still feel as if I were abandoning my mother out of anger. My mother has had some health issues over the past few years. There is the possibility she will pass away and I would then be able to kick my foster sister out, but I do love my mother and would rather not anticipate that "resolution". Here are a list of reasons why I can’t stand my foster sister:
I’m 38 years old. About nine months ago I moved back home and became my mother’s caregiver. My parents raised three foster children. In January, my mother moved one of those foster children (now age 25), back into the house. I really, really can’t stand this chick and my mother is constantly arguing with me, trying to get me to explain why I don’t like my foster sister. My premise is that as a grown 38-year-old man, I am entitled to my likes and dislikes without explaining them to my mother. Here are the reasons why I can’t stand my foster sister, whom I will call "C".
1) She’s pregnant with her fourth child and no husband.
2) She is the kind of woman who has different children by different fathers.
3) She’s a major freeloader.
4) When she moved back in, she took over a wing of the house that gave her four rooms to herself.
How many rooms does one non-rent paying person need??
5) She has a loud, ghetto way of talking.
6) She is one of these people who is ALWAYS on the house phone (and of course doesn’t help to pay the phone bill).
7) Everytime my mother calls me, "C" comes running. Doesn’t "C" know what her name is?
She is interfering.
9) She walks around acting as if the house belongs for her. For instance, the other day the landscaper was picking avocado off the tree in the back yard. I always let the guy takes as much as he wants, but I heard her loudly telling him not to pick too much. WTF? Who the eff is she? I happen to know I will be the sole heir after my Mom goes, so this chick is setting herself up for a rude shock if she thinks this is "her" house.
10) She has no house key, and whenever she comes home she likes to stand at my bedroom window shouting at the top of her lungs for me to let her in. OMG it will be such a sweet day when I can tell this chick to get out of MY house and never come back.
11) My mother is incontinent and I need to do her laundry daily. My foster sister will take clothes out of the machine, throw them willy nilly, or just meddle with the way I have things organized. If I had my way, I would tell that non-rent paying chick to go to the laundry mat. But then if I had my way, she wouldn’t be living here at all.
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The long distant relationship is now nine months along. He is unemployed and far away. I hooked up with my ex boyfriend the other night. I’ve know and have been with my ex boyfriend now for four years. He broke off the relationship three years ago. I’m very confused. Here are the details: when he came over the first thing he did was kiss and hug me. Sat very close to me on the sofa. Kissed me and help my hand while we talked. He tired to get me to lay down next to him on the sofa which I did not. We decided to spend Valentines Day together. He informed me that we were good together when we were a couple. He stated that he misses me and has thought about me a lot. He is very busy with work, and has a lot of responsibilities. He broke up with me because of his work and personal problems what ever that means. For the last three years he has always said how sorry he is about the way things worked out? Does that mean he regrets breaking up with me and wants me back? He is very sweet and caring. His family loved me when we were together. He informed me that he has some free time right now before work gets crazy again. Does that mean he wants us to give it us another chance together, or not? Yes, we are good together and very compatible. What should I do? Stay with the guy I never see, or get back together with my ex boyfriend?
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Nine months ago my ex girlfriend and I broke up because she cheated and left me for another guy. We were together almost six months. I was more than your average boyfriend. I always bought her flowers, cooked her dinner, cleaned her apartment, helped her financially when needed, took her out to dinner, and did all of the little things that mattered. I was crazy about her. She broke my heart. She ended up leaving the other guy because I think she felt guilty. It”s been almost a year since our breakup. She recently started dating a new guy and things already aren’t going over well. A few months ago I deleted her off of my facebook, just so I could get on with my life and get over her. She messaged me a few days ago and asked why I deleted her. I was still bitter and didn’t respond. She messaged me today and was upset over the fact that I didn’t respond. She told me she was sorry for what she had done. She told me she was going through it with her new boyfriend. She told me she still wanted me to be in her life, and wanted to be friends. She also stated that she worried about me a lot. I responded back and told her how I felt. I told her I loved her but she broke my heart and I wasn’t sure if I wanted her in my life. I asked her what she really wanted. She told me to keep her posted on things. She never answered my question. So I asked her again. She told me that she would give me time to think and to let her know when I was "ready". Still.. not really giving me a straight answer. She just broke up with her ex. Deep down, I still do love her. I would give her a second chance, but on strict standards. Does she want to be friends, or does she realize what she really lost and wants me back? If she just wants to be friends, why would she message me now when she’s having relationship problems? I really need some advice.. I do love her and I would give her a second chance.. but I don’t want to get hurt. Does she want me back?




