My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for almost nine years. We have both done things to hurt each other, but have never really moved on. We have been pretty much arguing for the last 2 years over everything. I have not been perfect in the relationship, but I do love him very much. I mostly reacted on when I was hurt I would do things to get my mind off of the hurt. I know he loves me too, we just cant seem to move past the hurtful things. Now we have a baby together and things have not gotten better only worse. Is there some reason why we are still holding on to this? How do I know if we should be together or is it time to move on.



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My father has never been denied access to his grandchildren. He’s been invited to all birthdays, holidays, etc, he has babysat, they have visited etc. But he rarely sees them or asks about them except for holidays. This isn’t shocking as he left when I was nine years old and was gone for 10 years. Came back when child support wasn’t expected of him anymore. We’ve never had a problems respecing my kids until now.

Now he has contacted my ex behind my back, set up meetings between my ex and him and the kids and even called my ex instead of me to say he had a present for my son for his bday but never called me who the kids live with. And didn’t even contact me to tll me anything, I find out from my son and my ex!

He has always been manipulative, blaming my mother for HIS abandoning his children, never taking any responsibility. I bit my tongue so my kids at least knew him but now he is up to his drama and games again. There is also a court procedure going on with my ex and myself, but we do get along very well considering (me and my ex).

I confronted him and told him it was manipulative and disloyal and wrong to be doing this behind my back and gave a sob story abut how I keep the kids from him, blantantly bullshitting me to my face. He had the kids overnight one week before contacting my ex! So this is a lie he is using as an excuse for his actions. I have told him, considering all he has done, this is the last straw and I want nothing to do with him.

Am I right to be upset?
My father likes playing games with people..he played me and my sister against each other for years. Now that we get along, this is his new target.

His excuse to me was that I never let him see the kids then admitted the week before he had them overnight! So this is a huge game to him. He expects everything to be handed to him and never make an effort. He pops round for glory visits on holidays and then the kids never hear from him
My father likes playing games with people..he played me and my sister against each other for years. Now that we get along, this is his new target.

His excuse to me was that I never let him see the kids then admitted the week before he had them overnight! So this is a huge game to him. He expects everything to be handed to him and never make an effort. He pops round for glory visits on holidays and then the kids never hear from him


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I just got dumped a week ago and my feelings for him haven’t really changed. I want to be able to get over him and find a man someday. How long did it take you to completely heal? Btw, I have been with my ex for almost nine years. He is my first ex because we have been dating since 7th grade. I am now 22 and he is 21.


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When my ex husband left me nine years ago he left me for someone else another woman! he said he was in a RUSH to leave me (divorce) cz he was in LOVE with another lady! and now he went out of his way to get my telephone # & his calling me back? please HELP me…. he says tells me he was blessed with his wife? okay so why are you calling me? HELP!! what is he doing?


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Is it worth saving? If so, do you think we can make it? Here is the situation. My wife and I have been married for nine years and together for a total of 12 years. We have a beautiful 5 year old son together. Our marriage from the beginning has been kind of rocky. We’ve fought over many issues in our marriage many of these have gone on for years and to this day we still continue to fight over them; for example, household chores. My wife is really messy and lazy when it comes to helping around the house. This is something that I noticed even when we started dating but I just thought it was something that she would grow out of as we got older (we met in college). I learned this isn’t the case. Throughout our marriage I’ve done almost 85% of the chores in the house. This includes the so called male jobs as well as the cooking, washing dishes, washing and folding clothes, paying the bills, filling out the X-mas cards, etc, etc. I’ve asked her many times throughout the years for help and she would just ignore my requests. I don’t think she meant to do it but subconsciously she just didn’t do anything and get back to watching TV or reading her books/magazines. We’ve gotten in some big arguments (tons of yelling and name calling from both of us as well as throwing items) about this issue throughout the years to the point where it seems I resent her. In addition to her cleanliness, my wife is constantly late to appointments (affects me and my son), can’t multi-task (hence why I do all the housework), and must be reminded to constantly clean up after herself (picking up her clothes off floor, turning off lights, fans, etc.). Believe me I’m not perfect but after so many years of arguing over some of these issues I guess I started to resent her to the point where my feeling for her started going away. In addition to this resentment, we have the worst sex life. In fact, we haven’t had sex in probably 2 years (I guess resentment on my end and I’m not sure on her side). We’ve tried a few times in this period but we always end up not being able to go forward. I’m actually kind of “weirded” out by the whole experience anyway. In fact, our sex life hasn’t been good in quite awhile. So this has been my life the last few years. We’ve both have thrown the “D” word several times in the years but have always done so in a heated argument so maybe my wife never felt like I meant it. Anyway, I’ve been out of the house for about a month in an “unofficial” separation. I told her back in July that I didn’t love her anymore and that my feelings for her changed so she asked me to leave the house. Here is the kicker—part of the reason why I finally took the step and told my wife how I feel is I met a women who I’ve been communicating on an emotionally level with since May. We are professional acquaintances but we both have expressed interests in one another and could see us dating if circumstances were different. We didn’t do anything physically but have acknowledged that there is physical attraction on both ends. To make a sincere effort on trying to save my marriage I’ve since broke contact with this women. It was hard but I know it is the right thing to do. In regards to my marriage we’ve tried counseling but so far it hasn’t really been much help. The counselor has given me suggestions on how to forgive my wife for not listening and helping me these last few years and ways to communicate better. The big problem is I’m not sure if my feeling can return back for her. When I think of why I want to stay the reasons tend to point back to holding on for my son. Also I find myself wanting to be single again. Believe me I have no desire to be “pimping” out there like some gigolo but I just want to meet someone who I may be more compatible with. I use to think my wife and I were had so much in common. I guess over the years this has changed. It seems like we have become more and more opposite. Please help. I’m open to any comments and suggestions. THX and sorry for the long story.


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