Married 20 years. Two teenage children.
Difficult relationship/marriage from the very start. Basically is really seems we are not a good match at all. Many instances of horrible fights (some witnessed by the kids) including her getting physical toward me. She has attacked me physically numerous times over the years, some scars still remain. It has been a while since the last time. Maybe a year. She had an affair on me 10 years ago and we were separated for one year. During which she lived with this man. After I did my begging to save marriage and she refused, I re-connected with a high school sweetheart whom I feel is the love of my life to this very day. My wife finally came back and asked to work things out. I decided to try only because the kids were so young then. I broke that girl heart whom I was seeing.
The time since then has been the same with us as a couple. Some good times but so much discord. She has asked me many times to leave. She has multiple times told me she hates me. We are not good together.
Fast Forward: We are separated again. We are in different states now. This all due to her getting into legal trouble with the law. She is currently awaiting her fate with the courts. I have discovered she has been again talking to her lover from the affair 10 years ago. I have been alone, raising our two kids through all this. She cannot get a job because of her problems. In a nutshell, she has ruined our lives. I also blame her for health problems my father developed from all the stress of this.
I no longer love this woman. I took much time to gather all my thoughts and told her I want a Divorce. I have also told my children. I do not want to go back after all that has happened. And going back will have so many problems financially and she will have fines and penalties. We will have to claim BK. All because of her foolish actions against the law. And getting caught!!
Before I told her and the kids, I was resolute!! I have the support of my family. It’s sad, it’s not what I wanted for my life. But now she is throwing all the emotional cards at me. Begging, pleading, telling me she will change. Telling me I an ruining the kids lives. I am throwing away 20 years and things will get better. And she will get help with her anger issues etc etc etc…. Crying and Begging.
I was so sure of myself. And I think deep down I still am. But all her words have stalled my momentum. And because I do feel sorry for her, I let her continue to plead her case.
I don’t think there is any way the marriage is viable. But I am stalled at finally shutting her down and starting my life over. Why?
I love my kids. I am here for them. But I just can’t make the same decision twice based solely on them. They by the way are not happy with my decision….. But they don’t know all of what I’ve told above either….
Your Feedback Yahoo World……………..
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okay basically i wanna retype my whole story i posted earlier, but eh.. here it is in a nutshell:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ah1VqVOEwA7ScfLHuScEY8Psy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20090825134253AAYvd01
basically if you read that, then come back here, you’ll understand the story..
i begged for my ex back about 3 weeks ago, we hung out, i bought her a dress, bra, flowers cookies, card, everything, dinner and groceries, she is 17 im 19 keep in mind. i was the sweeetest guy to her, but she then changed her number and told me to move on after she led me on.
now she is tellin me to move on, she already has a new bf THIS SOON after our breakup. it hurts bad. but she gets mad when i mention me being with another girl, i asked her to help me out and she said "umm well i dont wanna see you get hurt so no"
are there any girls who regret not taking their ex back after he begged, and now he is giving the world to another girl and your sad you let him slip away?
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okay in a nutshell i was in love with this guy for 3 years and he didn’t feel the same way, however, we were best friends. and he just didn’t see me like that. last year in november we had the biggest fight ever which involved alot of yelling and arguing and it was over things i hadn’t even said about a girl (*ash) who was his friend but i didn’t get along with. and we made up again.. but then a few days later i had a gut feeling to just stop talking to him because it wasn’t worth it if he wasn’t gonna stick up for me (his friend- the boyfriend of *ash, wrote me a very abusive email with threats in it).
so i just stopped talking to him and we just fell away slowly. now we don’t even know eachother.
we will sit on the same desk and not even make eye contact.
lately i cant stop thinkin bout him. yesterday i walked through the shops and his mum walked past and said hi to me. and was smiling and was so genuine. i dont know what to do. how do i forget him? will i ever get over it?
I felt bad that i had said more to his mum than him in the last 6 months. i think about the day we fought all the time, I’m over him, but im not over what happened.
I’d also love if anyone could send messages through myspace too
(myspace.com/cheeseisgoood)
I felt bad that i had said more to his mum than him in the last 6 months. i think about the day we fought all the time, I’m over him, but im not over what happened. how do i forget everything that happened.
I felt bad that i had said more to his mum than him in the last 6 months. i think about the day we fought all the time, I’m over him, but im not over what happened. how do i forget everything that happened.
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kids. she had also complained that i took my mothers side on something instead of hers. every couple months we get in such large fights over something i didnt do right that she gives me her wedding ring back. in my defense, i dont get home from work until 630 at night and do help clean when i get home. she has a short fuse and gets easily aggravated with me. i feel like i am walking on eggshells sometimes. we have 2 young sons that do need me around. we havent had sex in over a year and a half since my youngest son was conceived. i am a generally easy going person, which to some extent, my wife has told me bothers her in that she says i don’t act like a man and take charge often. i do earn a good salary that lets her stay home with the kids. my wife has told me that she does sometimes feel stuck with me during arguments and that she sort of regrets marrying me. i realize this question rambles but i’m explain our marriage in a nutshell. can a marriage in this bad shape be saved?
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