Why does my life suck?

Im 15 years old and have been made fun of ever since the start of middleschool. I can rember how in elementary school everyone in my grade i was friends with. all the girls and the boys. about 8th gradish when my best friend moved away my life turned to shit. i had no friends for the longet time and nvr realised til then how many ppl hate me. I was outcast. i got made fun of for being quiet and for having a high voice in like 5th and 6th grade. wtf? i dont understand y ppl are so cruel. i think about my friend everynite and just wish he would come back forever. i didnt love him in a gay way. i loved him tho like he was my family. Does anyone no how i can get over this? its been 3 years and it still upsets me thinking about this like rite now.
There are not many options for me for friends. nerds jocks preps. im none of those. im just like a loner punk in my school. i listen to my ipod everywhere to blur out every1 and ignore them. i just wnt to be left alone. i dont need alot of friends. just ways to keep my self esteem fro getting any ower. although it is the lowest it van possibly be
no one understands how hard it is to move on. i hung out with him everyday and we were best friends. it was devastating to me when he moved. i feel like im in a dream or its all just a joke and i cant wake up.
id rather keep my head down so people wont know its me and wont make fun of me.
when my friend left he took a part of me with him. so u can imagine how i feel. im not afraid to admit it but the day he moved for the next 3 days i cried and im a man. i loved my friend like a brother so i cant move on


Related Information:

would you read this book?

Here’s the basic plot for the novel I’m writing (It’s about a dysfunctional family):
A middle-class model and a recovering delinquent drug addict with a dysfunctional relationship end up getting married against the woman’s better judgment (it’s cliché, I know…any suggestions?). He beats her sometimes, and he’s such a bad influence on her that she loses her job, so now she can’t leave him, she depends too much on him. They end up having 7 kids. The 3rd has a fatal heart condition that will end her life at a young age (around 15, and it’s because of the drugs the dad took), but they don’t find that out till later, which is why they had more kids. The main part of the novel takes place when the kids are 19, 17, 15 14, 12 and 8. The mom saw sense (although it was too late) and kicked out the dad when he started beating the children too and almost killed the 2nd youngest (the only other girl), and now she is recovering, she has a job as a waitress in a casino.
The kids are coping too, the oldest is finally able to get on with his life now that the mom looks after her kids again, the 17 year old has anger management problems but is getting counseling, the 14 year old twins (who had only each other to rely on for so long) have trouble relating to the rest of the family and are called gay at school but (they insist) it doesn’t bother them (They’re not), the 12 year old girl is called a freak at school for her dysfunctional family but she is defiantly “proud” of being an outcast, and the 8 year old, probably the only normal one among them, has no clue anything is wrong (or ever was). The 15 year old girl is reaching the end of her life. She’s trying to figure out who she really is, and wondering how to break the news to her boyfriend and her best friend.
Then trouble brews. The mom finds a new guy at the casino. At first he seems to be helping her heal, but then it is revealed that he needs cash, and he has been selling the 17 year old drugs to cope with his problem. The 17 year old sometimes can’t control himself and he beats his girlfriend. He’s afraid he’ll turn out just like his father. The 15 year old dumped her boyfriend and started dating his best friend to get him to move on from her, but then the best friend starts falling for her and it turns out he has a lot of valuable philosophies about life and coping with things. He’s a “live in the moment” type guy, and he really helps her find herself. The 12 year old has been being harassed in many ways at school and stalked online by this guy, and she ends up killing herself (or trying to…that’s what I need help with…I was thinking an overdose of her brother’s pills could work, although it might be kind of overkill…) The 19 year old is sucked back into everything just when he was almost able to live his own life, and the twins just try to close their eyes to everything again. How should everything work out in the end? I don’t necessarily think it has to be a depressing read…at least it doesn’t have to end depressing. What do you think? Would you read this? And what should my characters be named?
Also…is it just like alot of other books? What are some ways I could make it more…unique? And how can I make the characters of the youngest brother and the twins more interesting? All of the other characters except them have a big problem they’re dealing with…ideas?! :)
thanks! 10 points to the best answer!


Related Information:

How to get close to a shy girl?

There’s a shy girl at my school who I’ve fancied for quite a while, cute and intelligent. Unfortunately, I’m pretty shy myself, and, though I have many friends, my quietness has labelled me as an ‘outcast’ as it were. And, although I am shy, I tend to put on an outside character of boldness, because it merely makes things flow a bit smoother.

I sometimes get the feeling she does things that show she likes me, but it could just be occasional sides of her I don’t see (due to her shyness, obviously), or I could be misinterpreting.

I’m quite good with getting along with people, save for one key problem, that I lack anything to talk about, in a conversation, I can never find something to talk about, which tends to make me get along well with outgoing, talkative people better. The girl I like is quite shy, so I encounter two problems.

1) Most obviously, I struggle to find things to talk about with her, I can’t really get close to someone I fail to talk to.

2) My bold character often scares her off, as she has verbally said before.

I’d ask her on a date outright if I had the courage and the ability to talk about things with her, but as I see it, getting close to her as a friend is probably the best way.

I get the feeling I’ve written this in ‘bits’, so I wouldn’t be surprised if something didn’t make sense, I’ll be happy to elaborate on any part misunderstood or miswritten.

Thanks for reading.


Related Information: