How to get over your ex
How to get over your ex.
If a person has an experience that is physically, mentally or emotionally traumatic, the mind is occupied with the situation in a number of different ways. Some people abuse alcohol, food, drugs or other substances to numb feelings within us. Others mourn for a short period of time, restore their faith, balance and sanity, and somehow miraculously move on. But the rest of us too well, usually those who are very analytical and logical, have trouble processing deeply troubling situations. So play the painful situation over and over again our minds, searching for an answer. But the problem is, the answer can be found in the rational mind, because the problem is in a plain emotional. Therefore, the solution has to come from the heart, which needs to be healed and restored. Here's the step by step process that have adapted to end obsessive thinking about an ex:
Step 1:
Do not take anything that your ex never said or did personally, because none of his ex never said or did was about you. Even if your ex really blame you all what went wrong in your relationship, make your statement is not from who they are, that has absolutely nothing to do with the person you are.
Step 2:
However, there has been Ex personally is a two sided coin. If during the heat of an argument to react and tell your ex what an idiot they are, and how everything is the fault of another, has nothing to do with them. Your statements only reflect the type of person you are, a person who likes to blame and judge. This has nothing to do with his ex. So make a conscious effort to be the person who, regardless of how your ex is behaving. Make a list of all the qualities we admire in others for example: kindness, confidence, compassion, and respect. You may already possess the qualities within yourself. Be very careful not to make statements that do not reflect who you are, even when you may be tempted to yield to the pain and anger he feels.
Step 3
Release your judgments and opinions to be Friend of Death. As morbid as it sounds, realize that in 100 years, you and your ex is likely to be dead and nothing you ever fought about will be remembered. If your ex has the obsessive need to be right and argue with you on everything, give in to their whims and say, "You are absolutely right." Not only is presented to strengthen its relationship with death and will save a tremendous amount of personal power, your ex will find it impossible to argue with you because you are giving the message nonverbal does not really matter. As one of my favorite authors Wayne Dyer once said: "Have you noticed how difficult it is to discuss with someone who is not obsessed with be right? "
Step 4:
If the pain and anger is overwhelming, distance yourself from your ex completely. And no matter what, get on your knees and pray for your ex every morning. Pray that your Ex will be granted all of the health, wealth and happiness you want for yourself. Even if you are not a religious person or not believe in God, the act itself is liberating.
In Twelve Step programs like Alcoholics Anonymous, are taught to pray for the people have a deep resentment. At first, you will not mean a word of prayer. But if you say the prayer consistently for two weeks, it is even said truth, and find that there is a part of yourself that you realize your ex is just a human being with its own imperfections, weaknesses and short comings. If you go deeper, you will account of his ex can also be a very hurt and scared person – even outwardly seem very hostile, aggressive and manipulative. Of course, no matter what happened to his former in its infancy or even in their day to day – which does not give a reason for abuse. But by being aware of the fact that his ex has a certain set of problems to solve on their own time, will help replace the pain and anger you feel with compassion and understanding.
Step 5:
Own your personal power. Because when are who you are, no matter the situation or circumstance that comes your way, then this becomes a very powerful person. This is the step that absolutely baffles your Ex, because for you who you are, and not let get you down – that sends the message of non-verbal ex that you are who you are and they are what they are. But more importantly, he tells his ex you will not take any of their crap! When you respond to the hostility of his former kindly, and accusing your ex with compassion, are frustrated to no end, because your ex can not get to play his game.
Step 6:
We understand that you are doing all this work no other reason than to realize who you, restore your sense of balance, and reclaim your personal power. Doing all this work in order to manipulate her ex, and make you want them returned, his former subconsciously sense of their intentions, because at one time or another, slides and let your intentions be known without realizing it. When this happens, you will give all its power back to your ex, and will have to start again with Step 1.
Step 6 is often difficult, because if I love you each step until this point, your ex may very well want to reconcile. At least her ex is starting to respond to the kindness you send their way in a positive way. But regardless of whether you want to go back to his ex, just friends, or just get on thinking obsessive – remember its only purpose is to realize who you are, restore their sense of balance, and reclaim your personal power. Doing all this work just to manipulate your ex to respond the way you want to, can run for a short period of time. But I guarantee his former recorded in the fact that their intentions are genuine, and lose their personal power. Not only that, but when you really who you are, you attract the right people into your life. And perhaps your ex is not the person you are meant to be with him! And the only way to know if you are meant to be with your ex or anyone else is if you are really who you are.
Step 7:
Forgive your ex, no matter what did or did not do. Unfortunately, there may be sufficient at present to say "I forgive my ex." And let things like that. Forgiveness has little to do with words, and more to do with action. Before proceeding with this step, I recommend reading about the topic of forgiveness, reading heroic stories about the power of forgiveness. I once read a story about a woman whose daughter was brutally raped and murdered by a man who was eventually captured and sent to prison. As anyone can imagine, the woman spent years of his life in anger and obsession with what this man had done to his daughter. I'm sure there are no words to express how much pain this woman was feeling. But somehow I came across a book entitled, The Course in Miracles and began reading about what the power of forgiveness could do for her. She began to pray for the man, and finally sent him a letter, informing him that she had forgiven him for actions that took against his daughter, although she does not approve of their behavior. To make a long story short, the man wrote the woman back and apologized profusely. The woman felt required to see this young man in prison, and she hugged him as he cried during his first visit. To make a long story short, they became friends, and she became his advocate in a number of attempts to escape from prison.
There is a lot of people walking on the planet as brave as this woman, but is an extreme example of what is possible within each one of us. I thought of this woman before arriving at my ex with forgiveness in my heart. I sent a gift to my ex and my ex-wife left me for that seemed insignificant compared with the history of this woman. Of course, I took a little over a year to reach that point, and a lot of search the soul. To this day, I love my Ex with all my heart on a platonic level. We live in two totally different cities, but still call and send emails every time another as good friends.
I am also in a healthy relationship with someone I am deeply in love. Next week will be our second anniversary. I do not think I would be so happy and deeply in love with this new person I am today if I had not let go of anger, bitterness and resentment I felt for my ex once, which is another reason why forgiveness is so important.
Many people believe that turning off his feelings for a person with whom a once they were in a romantic relationship with, or even hate is a way of showing that they are "on" the person. But I think exactly the opposite is true. When fully "on" one person, really wish them well – and is totally detached emotionally from how they act or react. Another point consider is the fact that love is not real unless you loved your ex for the person who is not, the person I wanted to be. And just because the romantic relationship did not work not mean that your ex is not a lovable person.
Step 8:
Buy toys. Do not talk to you. You always right. and will always be satisfied. go to www.passionproducts4romance.com
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